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family humor

@ironmanmamma/TikTok

Every parent has experienced some version of this

It’s a top-tier parenting nightmare: accidentally putting your phone on silent before bed and waking up to a ton of rapid-fire missed calls from your child. Of course, your brain goes over every worst-case scenario, your heart skips a beat, the panic sets in…and then…BAM! Turns out, it was the complete opposite of an emergency. All those gray hairs for nothing.

This was the situation that mom Meredith Thornton found herself in after waking up to a slew of back-to-back missed calls from her 18-year-old son Van, made in the wee hours right after he was supposed to have gotten off from work.

Thornton told Today that she normally keeps her phone with full volume next to her at night so that her kids would “know I'm always available.” She added that her family had faced “legit emergencies” in the past, so the thought of her grown kiddos being on their own on the road at night still made her uneasy.

So, understandably, when she woke up to those missed calls, she thought for sure a “car wreck, or a mental health issue” had occurred, and she “nearly had a heart attack.”

But as we see in the next slide of her TikTok, the “emergency” in question was Van needing a Microsoft code…which had apparently been sent to her email. Phew.

@ironmanmamma

I legit almost had a heart attack especially since I slept through the calls. #adultkids #adultchildren #genx #microsoft #momsoftiktok


Thornton told Today that she suspected other parents might relate to this anxiety-inducing moment, hence why she posted it. Boy was she correct. Over three million people have viewed the clip so far, and countless parents have shared similarly harrowing scares.

"Girl!! 11 messages from my son asking about Roblox code and I’m thinking he been kidnapped.”

“It’s always an emergency when they need the code.”

"I was legitimately on a stage speaking to over 300 people. I keep my phone on silent, but I use it to know the time. My son called eleven times in a row. I apologized to the audience and turned my mic off and took the call. 'Can I spend 7 dollars on roblox.' Thank God it was all teachers."

"What about the text messages that just say….MOM followed by absolutely nothing else."

"Ooooh I get those. Heart attack city."

"This happened to me last weekend. And my kids were calling because A BEAR WAS OUTSIDE THEIR TENT."

Others could also feel young Van’s dilemma. One viewer quipped, “I mean, those codes are only good for 12 minutes.”

Even the official Microsoft account chimed in, writing, “No bc we get it 🥀”

For parents who want to avoid these snafus in the future, here’s a pretty simple hack: go to your kiddo’s contact info, then select Ringtone or Text Tone. Finally, turn on the Emergency Bypass toggle for the desired contact and notification type (call or text). And voilá, whether on silent or in Do Not Disturb mode, you won’t miss the call…be it for actual emergencies, or passcode requests.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Still, we really feel for your plight, Thornton. Hopefully, you can still get a good night’s sleep after this!

Kids say the darnedest things, alright.

No one can diss you quite like your family, and that goes double if you have kids. Without that learned filter of decorum, kids can be straight up ruthless with their insults. And most of the time it doesn't even come from a malicious place, which somehow makes it even more of a low blow? But entertaining, nonetheless.

And if you’ve been on the receiving end of a kiddie roast, just know you are not alone. Recently parents shared some of the more heinous razzes they’ve gotten from their own offspring on the very popular r/Parenting subreddit.

It all started when someone asked, “How did your child roast you recently?” Below are some of our favorite responses.

From the unintentionally savage…

“We went to a dance and I told my daughter I really liked dancing with her. She responded ‘I liked dancing alone.’”

gif of kid in sunglasses dancing in a clubDancing by myself, I guess...media2.giphy.com

“Are your legs wide because they’re so muscular? (Me - well, not quite) Oh so they’re just fat then?”

“Where’s mom?” “She’s on the couch like she always is!”

“My mom got my son a watch (he’ll be 3 in June). He wanted me to put it on him. I fumbled a bit and he looked up at me and asked, ‘are you not good at this?’ It was such an innocent tone 😂🤦🏼♀️”

“When my daughter was about 8, she saw my birth year on paper and yelled ‘You were born in the One Thousands???’ I thought calling it ‘the 1900s’ sounded bad enough, I about died at the ‘One Thousands."

To the downright dark…

“I was kissing on my six year old and she was wiping them off saying ‘no more kisses!!’ And I said ‘there will always be kisses! When you’re 40 I’ll still be giving you kisses!!’ And she goes ‘you won’t be alive when I’m 40.’”

“I was very sick over the weekend and my husband brought my son to the bedroom to say goodnight after not seeing me all day because I was in bed sick.

Husband: look, it’s mommy!

2 year old: that’s not mommy, that’s scary.”

gif of child getting scaredOuch.media3.giphy.com

To the roasts that were meant to be compliments, making them the most brutal of all…

“My 3 year-old-son asked me why I'm not very good at drawing. I said ‘Different people are good at different things’ to which he responded ‘Like how you're good at sitting.’ Felt like a double burn.”

“One year for Mother’s Day, my son filled out the sheet the teacher gave and one question was ‘What are your mom’s favorite things to do’ and he answered ‘Taking naps and watching TV.’ Lmao.”

“My 7yo daughter: ‘Even though you’re my Mom, I still kind of like you.’ Thanks sweetheart… I think? 😂”

gif of little girl hugging herselfThanks, Sweetheart?media1.giphy.com

"I like it a lot when you're talking, but I hate it when you sing. But I love it a lot when you sound like a monkey!”

And as any parent of teenagers will tell you, the “fun” doesn't stop when they get older…

"I was at a check-in counter for something (it’s been awhile, can’t remember what for) and the worker needed to confirm my age. My son (12) proceeded to remove the hat from my head, exposing my receding hairline and said ‘yeah, he’s old enough.’”

“Daughter just turned 15 and so I asked if she wanted to get her learners permit (because I take her down to the farm a ton to drive anyways) ‘After seeing how you drive...that's gonna be a no.’"

gif of woman driving poorlyYou do you, then!media1.giphy.com

Wow, with kids like these, who needs enemies? Still, as vicious as they are, you've got to love a kid who’s not afraid to speak their mind.

Joy

Mom's accidental NSFW holiday photo in family chat becomes hilarious PSA for 'Live Photos'

In case you didn't know: iPhone's Live Photos feature captures audio. Just sayin'.

So glad it didn't happen to us.

One mom’s accidental photo faux pas is giving her family—and everyone on the internet—a hearty holiday chuckle. Not to mention it’s teaching folks about a lesser known iPhone feature.

Kimberly Barber, a mom in South Carolina, had meant to send her family a perfectly innocent photo of the impressive Christmas display of twinkling lights, lush garland and even a picture of a majestic white reindeer on the mantle in her home.

What Barber didn’t realize, however, was that when she took the photo, her camera was set to take a Live Photo, which happens to record sound. And, well, mom had been listening to a romance novel at the time.

In a totally incriminating TikTok posted by Barber’s daughter, Taylor McGuigan, we get the hilarious juxtaposition of a lovely, wholesome visual and a voice talking about, ahem, “bulges.”


@ogmommom

When your mom takes a live photo while also listening to her smut book… and then sends it in the family chat 🤣🤣🤣 #funny #funnyvideos #momfail #darkromance #spicybooks #booktok #familymessagefail #bookish #humortiktok #humoroftiktok #toofunny #fyp #viral

Needless to say, the family had a field day. But the award for best response goes to Dad, who wrote, “Sorry girls! Your mom’s phone was reading her mind and I had just walked by! Love Daddy.” Wow wow wowwww.

“This is amazing aahahah! Your father’s response was icing on the cake,” one person said.

@ogmommom/TikTok

Judging by the flurry of astonished comments, Barber wasn’t the only one to not know that iPhone’s Live Photo captures a few seconds of sound along with movement.

"I DIDN’T REALIZE LIVE PICTURES HAVE SOUND.”

"Who else just discovered those Live Photos have sound? I’m so terrified about all the pictures I’ve ever sent."

"I was today years old when I learned that Live Photos had audio."

In an interview with Today, McGuigan shared that it was her husband Mark who first noticed the gaffe. When he played it for Taylor, they “literally hit the floor laughing,” and knew they could never let mom live this down.

They also noted that mom’s naughty read was from K.A. Tucker’s “Break Me,” the second romance novel of her spicy, bestselling “Wolf Hotel” series, which follows the forbidden romance between an innocent (yet sexy, obviously) farm girl and a lumberjack who just so happens to also be the billionaire (so sexy plus rich, what’s not to like?). Steaminess ensues.

Listen, Barber might have been caught redhanded, but she is certainly not alone in her extracurricular reading preferences. Romance novel sales have been on a steady rise, particularly titles in the newly birthed romantasy subgenre, which, as the name suggests, blends romance with fantasy. Think enemies to lovers storylines set in mystical realms with scantily clad fae folk or brutishly attractive werewolves, etc.

And of course, there’s no shame in smut. Research has shown that consuming sexually explicit content helps people feel more sexually confident with themselves and their bodies, which is a good thing. As long as it doesn’t blur the line between realistic expectations and pure fantasy too much. Clearly, what we really need to be wary of here is Live Photos—which, if we’re honest, is kind of a lame feature.

Anyway, for this unexpected PSA, we thank you, Barber. You might never be able to live this down with your own family, but we thank you for your service.

@thedorestantfamily/Instagram

He's a a master of the ol' bait and switch

No parent knows what they're going to get when they open up their kid’s school pictures. Even if they’ve practiced their smile a million times that morning, something could (and let’s face it, probably will) go awry.

But more often than not, these bouts of chaos make for a delightfully entertainment parenting monet.

Just take Vially Dorestant’s word for it.


In a clip posted to her Instagram, Dorestant is seen trying to prep her son Corey for his big picture day happening at preschool the following week.

“Are you gonna smile?” she prompts. Corey replies, “yes!” He even shows off an adorable grin.

Dorestant tries to confirm, “That’s how you’re gonna smile?” Corey, with the same smile, says “yes!”

Because of the magic rule of threes, mom really tries to clench the deal by asking a third time, saying “when they say ‘cheese’ what are you gonna do?”

Corey demonstrates an impressive “cheeeeeese” with a classic tooth-showing smile. So of course Dorestant can feel safe knowing that that’s exactly how he’s gonna do it for picture day.

Spoiler alert: that is NOT how he did it for picture day. But arguably…he did something way better.

Watch:

Um, okay. The pure, unadulterated swagger of this kid. Eyes squinted, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his chin, posed more like he’s coming out with a new hip-hop album than a school portrait. So cool, and so unexpected.

“Nothing could’ve prepared me for the ending 😂😂,” one viewer wrote

Another surmised that “Dad must have gave him a different prep talk 😂😂”

There are even more fun comments where that came from:

“Corey at home: 😁Corey at school: 😏”

“Let him cook”

“Lied straight to your face 🤣”

“These baddies at the playground need to know.”

“Definitely make this a poster size for his graduation party lol!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣”

“He made a business decision 😂”

“Hand in the pocket too, come on man, this the hardest elementary pic of the year 🔥🔥”

“🙌🏾 My boy understood the assignment! 😎🤣❤️🔥”

The greatest part of this story is that Dorestant mainly wanted to practice Corey’s smiling with nhim because she was concerned he would be shy on the day.

“He tends to get shy and freeze up around others,” she told Newsweek. “Since this was his first picture day at a new school, I wanted to ensure he felt comfortable and confident.”

But Corey’s amazing bait and switch became a heart warming lesson.

"As parents, we often feel the need to shield our kids and prepare them for the world, which can make us anxious about their readiness, but we need to trust in their abilities and give them the space to shine on their own.”

Indeed, kids can teach us things too.