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elderly people

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A scammer on the computer. A senior citizen falls for it.

Scam artists have gotten more advanced when it comes to diabolically tricking people out of their money, especially senior citizens. And now with cryptocurrency, which is confusing to many and completely accessible online, there's an added layer of concern for the most vulnerable.

Which is why, more than ever, people need to be on the lookout for swindlers. Luckily, some really good folks are stepping up. On the subreddit r/scams, there are 1.6 million weekly visitors; time and time again, they help alert people to perpetual fraud.

One bank teller posted, "You all saved my customer today" and then told a heroic story about an elderly customer attempting to deposit a check.

"I had a customer come in today and he had a cheque that he wanted to deposit," the bank teller wrote. "Super normal, no red flags. He asked about how long the hold will be. Still, no red flags. Since we're in Canada and we celebrate Victoria Day, the banks are closed on Monday. So, his 5 business day hold will take us to May 21."

banks, bank teller, elderly, senior citizens, scams A bank teller dispenses money at a bank. www.flickr.com

Here's where things took a turn. "I told him that and he said he needs at least $9000 released right away," the bank teller added. "Now I'm even more curious and I asked why. He said he needs 10% to send to his crypto account so he can withdraw the $90,000 USD that his crypto account has generated."

Luckily, this bank teller's antenna went up. "Skeptical, I asked what account, how he opened it, the website—the whole ordeal," the bank teller wrote. "To my surprise, he told me. He clicked on a FACEBOOK AD and deposited a couple of $100 back a few months ago and now it's generated to $90,000 USD. But in order to get the $90,000—he needs to deposit $9,000."

"Yeah, no. I told him he's being scammed, grabbed my phone, and showed him the numerous crypto scams posted on reddit," the bank teller added. "I said his biggest blessing is losing a couple of $100 and not thousands."

There are over one hundred comments on this thread alone. One pointed out: "We all have a blind spot. In reality, most of us over fifty are hesitant to listen to our family members and neighbors. Stubborn. We think we are so smart, and gotta maintain that street cred. It took a nurse I had never met to get my attention about a health issue. It may take a bank employee to open my eyes about something like this. Thank you for diving into his problem."

This person noted how refreshing it was to see that the customer, who had truly gotten their hopes up, actually listened to the teller: "The biggest surprise here is that he actually listened and was willing to believe he'd been scammed. We see so many horror stories about people sticking their heads in the sand and refusing to accept reality, it's such a nice change of pace."

There are so many other stories that run the gamut of scams across every platform. One person told a harrowing story of their mother who got defrauded out of her entire retirement fund. The thread has over 500 comments of suggestions, as well as communal support.

@droidsavvy

Some have no idea about these 🫡

The good news is there are ways to combat these fraudsters. First, it's important to know what to look for.

The National Council on Aging (NCOA) recently posted the top five scams targeting seniors. These include "The Grandparent Scam," in which someone impersonates a grandchild asking for help, scams that appear to be loans from reputable banks, "tech support scams" (which I have personally fallen for), government scams asking for private information like Social Security numbers, and one of the most upsetting—the romance scam.

"As more people turn to online dating, con artists are seizing the opportunity," NCOA's Jessica Johnson wrote. "Romance scammers create fake social media profiles and use them to gain trust and steal money. In some cases, these scammers may be (or pretend to be) overseas. They may ask their victims to pay for visas, medical emergencies, and travel expenses to come to the U.S."

Johnson adds that as of two years ago, these scams have totaled well over one billion dollars in loss.

-Dr. Regina Koepp gives tips on scammers. www.youtube.com, Dr. Regina Koepp

As for what you can do? First, know—and let those in your life know—that if you get scammed, don't be embarrassed. Have consistent conversations about how clever these scammers have become and how common they are. Advise anyone who might be vulnerable to never give out important information to someone emailing or calling for it.

If it happens, contact local police, banks, and the Federal Trade Commission. Adult Protective Services also has resources on how to get started.

The FTC also posted these helpful tips:

  1. "Never transfer or send money to anyone, no matter who they say they are, in response to an unexpected call or message. Even if they say it’s to 'protect it.'"
  2. "Hang up and verify. Hang up the phone and call the company or agency directly using a phone number or website you know is real. Don’t trust what an unexpected caller says, and never use the phone number in a computer security pop-up or an unexpected text or email."
  3. "Block unwanted calls. Learn about your call blocking options to stop many of these scammers before they reach you."

The topic gained extra attention last year with the film Thelma, in which actress June Squibb plays a woman on a mission to recover her scammed money (her methods are not recommended, but the film, based loosely on a true story, is aces).

June Squibb stars in the movie Thlema. www.youtube.com, Magnolia Pictures

Canva

Two hands of different ages grasp one another.

There are only a few things in this life we can't evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there's Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded with hits that will eventually take us down.

The good news is that with years often comes wisdom. I like to think of our minds as though they were hiking trails. Each trail has a sign, but instead of telling us which way to go, the signs remind us who we are. This past week, I was honored to read some of those signs at the senior home where my mom resides. Nearly every conversation, at least for me, yielded little sage sachets of advice that are truly invaluable.

Know someone before you marry them.

A woman in her early 80s shared that it takes about a year for someone's "true nature" to be revealed, even in the most intimate of relationships. (This, at least according to a professor she had in graduate school.) In other words, she says, "A person can hide their psychological pathologies, on average, for about a year."

So, she wishes younger people would wait at least that long before moving in or getting married. "Slow down," she said. "Really take your time before you take the leap. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first and then sometimes that mask can slip. Don't get stuck."

elderly man, elderly woman, relationship, honeymoon phase A man kissing a woman near the ocean. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

Some research shows that the "honeymoon phase" can, of course, vary in length. Brides.com shares, "The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates."

No matter how long that phase lasts, her advice to slow down and really get to know someone before fully committing seems like (mostly) a good idea.

Listen to your doctors

elderly man, doctor's office, health, blood pressure A doctor examining a patient's wrist with a stethoscope Photo by CDC on Unsplash

I met a woman who was a retired OBGYN. We talked at length about perimenopause, hormones, and life after 50. She urges, "Do the research, but also (for the most part) listen to your doctors. Most of them know what they're doing."

We both kind of laughed, and then she leaned in and said, "No. Really." She added, "Nothing wrong with getting a second, or even third opinion. But listen and read all you can before it's too late."

Understand that time is precious

elderly, aging, friendship, time, Two men play chess. Photo by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash

One thing my mom rather casually mentioned really stuck with me. This was how difficult it is to make new friends—and not for reasons one might think. Sure, senior living facilities can be just as cliquey as groups were in middle school. But for my mother, it was less about fitting in and more about fearing she would lose people as she grew to love them.

"No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on. When I first moved here, I befriended a brilliantly funny woman and within six months she was gone. This happens more and more and you never get used to it. You're never prepared."

If you don't want to eat dinner at 4:30, you don't have to.

On a simpler note, this one might be obvious to some, but it was certainly a common topic among the people with whom I spoke. Even though they serve dinner at 5:00 in many senior homes, it doesn't mean you can't put it in Tupperware and save it for later. To that point, just because people age, doesn't mean they have to go to bed at 8:00 p.m. (Though for many, that timeline is just perfect.)

One man noted, "Just because we all live in one place doesn't mean we all become one person. We've got night owls and early birds and every other kind of bird you could imagine. Eat and sleep when you want to. It's still your life."

His friend added, "If you want to play Mahjong at midnight, do it!"

iamdonshay/TikTok

Destiny Smith and Jim, 97, became friends after he crashed into her car.

Fender benders rarely turn into positive things. But for Destiny Smith and 97-year-old Jim, a minor car accident between them began a beautiful friendship.

In a compilation video shared by Seen.TV of TikTok videos shared on Smith's account (@Iamdonshay), she explains that back in September 2024, Jim rear-ended her car while she was leaving church. After talking with him, it was clear to Smith that Jim was struggling.

It was a minor accident, and she learned that he had no insurance or driver's license. She also learned that he was 97 years old. "But honestly I was just really worried because he was swerving everywhere. And then after he hit me I got out and asked him if he was okay," she shared. Jim told her he was, and that he was just trying to go home.

After talking more, the two realized they lived just two minutes away from each other. Smith vowed to Jim that she would "come check up on" him. As the video continues, Smith asks more about Jim's living situation. She learns that he lives alone, and that he doesn't have any kids or relatives nearby.

"Who helps you?" Smith asks him, and he replies, "Nobody." It's an answer that didn't sit well with Smith. "I'm so sorry," she tells him. Smith sought advice on how to help Jim from her social media followers, who she thanks for their insight.

@iamdonshay

Replying to @Nicole I am so thankful to everyone who donated to Jim registry. Now he has a mattress topper that is more comfortable for his back and lots of other essentials ♥️

"He is now going to have aides. I spoke with a social worker. It's all just gonna work out," she says in the video. "It's all gonna work out for Jim, and I'm so excited, because he's not gonna be alone anymore." Specifically, Smith shared in another video that she was able to get Jim assistance from the county, and that nurses will come to his home to help care for him.

Since then, Smith has remained a steady part of Jim's life. She visits him often, checks up on him, takes him out to meals, and also celebrated his birthday together.

In a more in-depth video, Smith told her followers more about Jim's story. "He's 97. He's outlived a lot of his family members. His brother and his wife recently passed away, and they never had children," she says. "He's really sweet."

@iamdonshay

Yall asked to see Jim when he was younger… here he is 😇😇

Smith's followers have praised her for her care and concern for Jim. One viewer commented, "Both of you were definitely meant to cross paths. This is so beautiful of you 🥺," and Smith replied, "Thank you so much! 🥰 thanks to God we did! I was very determined to get him help♥️."

Another added, "you're his new granddaughter." And one more wrote, "you are such a kind person 🥺❤️this has me tearing up." An especially touched viewer added, "You are literally heaven sent 🙏thank you for watching out for him & his wellbeing."

Viewers are also obsessed with their unique friendship: "I just love how y’all formed a relationship he needed you🫶🏾🙏🏽," one viewer wrote, and Smith replied, "I love him 🥰🥰🥰."

Another viewer commented, "Dynamic Duo."


This article originally appeared in May.

Joy

Woman shares the one heartwarming request she got while visiting a nursing home

A beautiful story reminding us that some things never change.

@brittanydspivey/TikTok

We need more stories like this.

When vocal coach Brittany Spivey’s mother passed away in 2022, she began sharing her grief journey—and all the discoveries and transformation it brought—online. Including one particularly lovely story involving her visits to a nursing home.

As Spivey explains in the video below, once her mother had passed, she no longer had living parents, or grandparents, which prompted her to start making visits to her local nursing home. She arrived with flowers in hand and asked the front desk person which residents haven’t had many visitors in awhile.

Much to her surprise, the front desk worker replied that most residents don’t get visitation all that often. That day, Spivey was assigned two sisters, each of whom hadn’t expected anyone to come. After chatting together for a few hours, Spivey had “fallen in love” with each of them, and felt like she had been “sitting with her grandma and mom all over again.”

@brittanydspivey

If youre in the mood for a beautiful story time 🥹🫶🏾❤️ #storytime #nursinghome #family

Pretty soon, Spivey began making regular visits, which included dropping off occasional gifts. To make sure she was actually getting her gal pals something they’d enjoy, she asked them, “Is there anything you need?”

Their response? “Girly things”: Butterfly hairclips, lip gloss, hair bows, little accessories, even a jewelry making kit. Not the basic toiletries or clothing items Spivey anticipated, but full-on kiddie toys.

Of course, Spivey was happy to oblige. The next day she and her daughter arrived with little trinkets to help make them “feel like the girls that they are.” And after that, the sisters got so excited each time they would see her.

“It was so beautiful. I miss my mom… I miss my grandma…so beautiful because I still get to have that relationship,” Spivey concludes> She then encourages everyone, but especially those who have lost a loved one, to dedicate a free day to their local nursing home or assisted living facility, and particularly to seek out the residents who don't get regular visitors.

@brittanydspivey

🥹❤️🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Spivey’s story certainly touched many viewers, and even inspired a few folks to follow in her footsteps.

“Because of this, I have volunteered for a nursing home this Thursday. Thank you.”

“I’m gonna volunteer. I’m going to be unemployed and it sounds like a beautiful way to connect. We’re human and want connections.”

Others chimed in to share their own beautiful experiences.

@brittanydspivey

Replying to @earthtotiana this comment makes me SOOOO happy ! 🥹🫶🏾❤️ Heres another update! #nursinghome #love #family


“I did this. I met a man who cried every time I left, and forgot me every time I came. He showed me photos one day, and I realized he was my neighbor from across the street when I was a kid.”

“I became penpals with a man in a nursing home during Covid. We wrote to each other every week for three years. He passed away a year ago and I miss Harold every day.”

A few nursing home workers also noted how it is indeed a precious thing when someone visits, and how easy it really is to make their day: “I work at a nursing home, especially with dementia residents. No one visits them, and all they do is pace around the halls calling out for loved ones. It’s heartbreaking.”

“I work at a nursing home. It’s so true! They just want love, someone who listens to them, and simple things.”

This story beautifully captures how with age comes a return to childlike joy. Many of us in our inherent (and taught) fear of growing older forget that it also comes with this blessing. It also reminds us that while we might not be able to physically interact with those who have moved on, we can still experience the deep connections created by those relationships if we only seek them out.