upworthy

elderly people

Community

I spent the day following people over 80 around and I could barely keep up

Their full social calendars might just be the secret to happiness.

Lauren Miller

A group of elderly people solve a puzzle.

As someone who wakes up, turns on the TV, eats a cookie, and then sits at my desk to write, some might say I'm rather sedentary. That is not the case for my mother and many of her friends at the senior living facility where they reside. In fact, I've never seen such an active group of people in my life—and most of them are in their 80s, 90s, and even 100s. Time and again, experts stress the importance of not only physical exercise and a healthy diet, but also mental stimulation in order to stay spry. Obviously, nothing can stave off the inevitable, but there are countless examples of people who swear by staying on the go to stay sharp well into old age.

Games keep their minds alert

My mom's posse starts early in the day with Mexican Train (a dominos game) and they mean business, as plenty play for money. This is popular among the residents, as is Bridge and Mahjong, the latter being where my mom truly shines. I sat in on a Mahjong game and watched as they laser-focused on the tiles in order to build a winning hand. Some of them wanted to use the time for chitchat, while others were a bit more rigid with the gameplay aspect. But as we left (after two hours) they all seemed much lighter in spirt.

A Texas A&M University School of Public Health research study reports, "Older people with mild cognitive impairment who engage in high levels of activities such as word games and hobbies have better memory, working memory, attention and processing speed than those who do not."

mahjong, senior living, puzzles, mental health, games, community A close up of a game of Mahjong Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash


Group meetings help them stay engaged

Whether it's sitting together in the dining hall or attending an art class to bead a purse, the idea of being together seems to help the seniors' sense of belonging. Book club is especially popular (though I'm told it often gets heated) because they become exposed to literature that might have been outside their usual realm and discuss it in depth.

In 2024 Forbes published a piece about how senior citizens can stay young, healthy and fit, noting, "Regular social interactions, participating in community activities, and staying connected with loved ones can contribute to a sense of belonging, purpose, and happiness."

The National Institute of Aging reports that non-engagement can cause both mental and physical decline. They note, "Studies show that loneliness and social isolation are associated with higher risks for health problems such as heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline."

The seniors at my mom's home have sharp political discussions too. The facility brings in someone to make sure the residents are getting a balanced, non-partisan range of news from various outlets. I watched one of these meetings and it was encouraging to see seniors having civil discourse from all sides of the political spectrum.

There are also church and temple services for those who wish, and guided meditation groups (which my mom loves) where they're encouraged to write down their feelings.

One friend sits on what's called the Citizen Council to advocate for residents. "They meet often, and resolve nothing," my mother shadily notes, but still—it fills time and keeps them busy.

elderly, book club, senior living, staying active, seniors A book club meeting held at the senior living facility. Lauren Miller


Staying physically active

According to the Canadian Association Medical Journal, the elderly are not getting enough exercise by and large. Writer Kristen Fischer shares that, "In the United States, about 13.9% of adults aged 65 or more years meet federal physical activity guidelines for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities. Fischer also quotes Jane Thornton, MD, who is an associate professor at the Schulich School of Medicine and Dentistry in Ontario, saying, "“Physical activity is one of the most important ways to preserve or improve functional independence, including among older adults who are frail or deemed to be at increased risk of falling,”

To touch base with her younger self, my mom decided to create her own dance class. Having been a professional dancer (she danced with the Austin Ballet Company), she was missing that side of herself in her new home. Though she's now on a walker, as are many of the residents, that didn't stop her. With the help of a staff member, she created "Dances with Walkers," wherein she personally chose a hard beat-driven playlist so that people could dance with their walkers, scooters, and canes.

elderly, dancing, walkers, senior living, active A dance class for people on walkers. Lauren Miller


Just plain fun

One of my mom's friends said to me, plain and simple, "Just because we're older, doesn't mean we don't want to have a good time. I wake up every day and think I'm 30. Then I look in the mirror."

To that end, the gang is involved in monthly karaoke and weekly entertainment. "Tony Macaroni is often here," my mom shares. "As long as his hearing aids are working, he sounds great!"

Having purpose

In The Washington Post article "Centenarians share their longevity formula: 'Staying busy gives you purpose,' author Sydney Page writes that a 100-year-old woman took a part-time job at Home Depot and claims, "That's what keeps me sharp."

One of the commenters on this piece shared, "I once chatted with a woman who was volunteering at the local senior center. She did it, she said, to help out 'the old dears.' She was pushing 90 at the time."

Another writes, "Live till you die. Make the Reaper have to work to get his quota when you're on his list. Most of all, treat your body such that you'll be able to climb into the casket when it's your time."

elderly, senior living, staying active, seniors, home Residents of a senior facility enjoy a night out.Lauren Miller

This isn't to say all of this activity is easy. My mom, for example, is hard of hearing and can't see well. She gets tired easily and sometimes has to push beyond her exhaustion. This is part of what makes watching her (and many of her friends) so inspiring. They may see someone else when they look in the mirror, but when they're singing and dancing, the best parts of themselves reappear.

iamdonshay/TikTok

Destiny Smith and Jim, 97, became friends after he crashed into her car.

Fender benders rarely turn into positive things. But for Destiny Smith and 97-year-old Jim, a minor car accident between them began a beautiful friendship.

In a compilation video shared by Seen.TV of TikTok videos shared on Smith's account (@Iamdonshay), she explains that back in September 2024, Jim rear-ended her car while she was leaving church. After talking with him, it was clear to Smith that Jim was struggling.

It was a minor accident, and she learned that he had no insurance or driver's license. She also learned that he was 97 years old. "But honestly I was just really worried because he was swerving everywhere. And then after he hit me I got out and asked him if he was okay," she shared. Jim told her he was, and that he was just trying to go home.

After talking more, the two realized they lived just two minutes away from each other. Smith vowed to Jim that she would "come check up on" him. As the video continues, Smith asks more about Jim's living situation. She learns that he lives alone, and that he doesn't have any kids or relatives nearby.

"Who helps you?" Smith asks him, and he replies, "Nobody." It's an answer that didn't sit well with Smith. "I'm so sorry," she tells him. Smith sought advice on how to help Jim from her social media followers, who she thanks for their insight.

@iamdonshay

Replying to @Nicole I am so thankful to everyone who donated to Jim registry. Now he has a mattress topper that is more comfortable for his back and lots of other essentials ♥️

"He is now going to have aides. I spoke with a social worker. It's all just gonna work out," she says in the video. "It's all gonna work out for Jim, and I'm so excited, because he's not gonna be alone anymore." Specifically, Smith shared in another video that she was able to get Jim assistance from the county, and that nurses will come to his home to help care for him.

Since then, Smith has remained a steady part of Jim's life. She visits him often, checks up on him, takes him out to meals, and also celebrated his birthday together.

In a more in-depth video, Smith told her followers more about Jim's story. "He's 97. He's outlived a lot of his family members. His brother and his wife recently passed away, and they never had children," she says. "He's really sweet."

@iamdonshay

Yall asked to see Jim when he was younger… here he is 😇😇

Smith's followers have praised her for her care and concern for Jim. One viewer commented, "Both of you were definitely meant to cross paths. This is so beautiful of you 🥺," and Smith replied, "Thank you so much! 🥰 thanks to God we did! I was very determined to get him help♥️."

Another added, "you're his new granddaughter." And one more wrote, "you are such a kind person 🥺❤️this has me tearing up." An especially touched viewer added, "You are literally heaven sent 🙏thank you for watching out for him & his wellbeing."

Viewers are also obsessed with their unique friendship: "I just love how y’all formed a relationship he needed you🫶🏾🙏🏽," one viewer wrote, and Smith replied, "I love him 🥰🥰🥰."

Another viewer commented, "Dynamic Duo."


This article originally appeared in May.

Joy

Woman shares the one heartwarming request she got while visiting a nursing home

A beautiful story reminding us that some things never change.

@brittanydspivey/TikTok

We need more stories like this.

When vocal coach Brittany Spivey’s mother passed away in 2022, she began sharing her grief journey—and all the discoveries and transformation it brought—online. Including one particularly lovely story involving her visits to a nursing home.

As Spivey explains in the video below, once her mother had passed, she no longer had living parents, or grandparents, which prompted her to start making visits to her local nursing home. She arrived with flowers in hand and asked the front desk person which residents haven’t had many visitors in awhile.

Much to her surprise, the front desk worker replied that most residents don’t get visitation all that often. That day, Spivey was assigned two sisters, each of whom hadn’t expected anyone to come. After chatting together for a few hours, Spivey had “fallen in love” with each of them, and felt like she had been “sitting with her grandma and mom all over again.”

@brittanydspivey

If youre in the mood for a beautiful story time 🥹🫶🏾❤️ #storytime #nursinghome #family

Pretty soon, Spivey began making regular visits, which included dropping off occasional gifts. To make sure she was actually getting her gal pals something they’d enjoy, she asked them, “Is there anything you need?”

Their response? “Girly things”: Butterfly hairclips, lip gloss, hair bows, little accessories, even a jewelry making kit. Not the basic toiletries or clothing items Spivey anticipated, but full-on kiddie toys.

Of course, Spivey was happy to oblige. The next day she and her daughter arrived with little trinkets to help make them “feel like the girls that they are.” And after that, the sisters got so excited each time they would see her.

“It was so beautiful. I miss my mom… I miss my grandma…so beautiful because I still get to have that relationship,” Spivey concludes> She then encourages everyone, but especially those who have lost a loved one, to dedicate a free day to their local nursing home or assisted living facility, and particularly to seek out the residents who don't get regular visitors.

@brittanydspivey

🥹❤️🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Spivey’s story certainly touched many viewers, and even inspired a few folks to follow in her footsteps.

“Because of this, I have volunteered for a nursing home this Thursday. Thank you.”

“I’m gonna volunteer. I’m going to be unemployed and it sounds like a beautiful way to connect. We’re human and want connections.”

Others chimed in to share their own beautiful experiences.

@brittanydspivey

Replying to @earthtotiana this comment makes me SOOOO happy ! 🥹🫶🏾❤️ Heres another update! #nursinghome #love #family


“I did this. I met a man who cried every time I left, and forgot me every time I came. He showed me photos one day, and I realized he was my neighbor from across the street when I was a kid.”

“I became penpals with a man in a nursing home during Covid. We wrote to each other every week for three years. He passed away a year ago and I miss Harold every day.”

A few nursing home workers also noted how it is indeed a precious thing when someone visits, and how easy it really is to make their day: “I work at a nursing home, especially with dementia residents. No one visits them, and all they do is pace around the halls calling out for loved ones. It’s heartbreaking.”

“I work at a nursing home. It’s so true! They just want love, someone who listens to them, and simple things.”

This story beautifully captures how with age comes a return to childlike joy. Many of us in our inherent (and taught) fear of growing older forget that it also comes with this blessing. It also reminds us that while we might not be able to physically interact with those who have moved on, we can still experience the deep connections created by those relationships if we only seek them out.

When older people get lonely, interacting with pets can be a game-changer.

Sometimes when we're in the younger, busier time of our lives, it's easy to forget—or not even realize—that our elderly friends and neighbors might be lonely. But very often, people who have long been retired, who may have already said goodbye to many of their friends or who have physical limitations that make it difficult to get out to visit people, can find themselves alone most of the time. Feelings of loneliness can lead to depression and other health risks, and even shorten one's lifespan.

A viral social media post offers a good reminder of this fact, but in the most heartwarming way. A poster named Dylan shared a photo of a typed letter with the caption: "I went on a vacation 2 weeks ago, and let my neighbor babysit my pets. Shortly after I got back home, I received this letter from him in the mail that made me smile and cry. I’d like to share it here."

"Good afternoon," the letter begins. This is regarding your vacation two weeks ago and how you let me babysit Smokey, Oreo, and Jennifer. I'd just like to give you a letter of thanks." (The letter doesn't specify what kind of pets Smokey, Oreo and Jennifer are, but the original poster later shared that they are a German shepherd, "the crankiest little beagle you’ve seen in your life," and a cat named Oreo.)

Then he continued:

"As you know, I'm an old man. You don't see me outside often anymore, as these joints aren't as lively as they used to be. To add to that, two years ago, in the midst of the pandemic, my dad got diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. After his death, I was left alone in my home. I don't have a wife or kids. I could go to sleep one day and never wake up again. Every day is just sitting around and wondering what I have done for this world.

Until I met Smokey, Oreo, and Jennifer.

Your pets are the cutest, funniest, and most troublesome (In a good way, don't worry, they didn't mess up my house too much!) individuals. They gave me the motivation to restart my life again. I started waking up early in the mornings. I began to take walks outside with your pets for the first time in years. Every 10 minutes, whenever I felt sad for a second, they would bark or rub against my leg and make me laugh.

The highlight of their stay was when I took them to the park. It was the longest time I've spend outside in a while. It didn't just bring back pet interaction, I also met other people, started talking, and made friends with a handful of fellow human beings. I was so happy to finally be able to talk with friends again, interact with others, and feel like I'm part of the human race.

I realize I sound very existential right now, but I'm telling the truth. It's nice knowing that I'm doing something for someone, even if it's my neighbor.

I adopted two dogs soon after. (You may have been hearing noise from my home, pardon them!) I now take regular walks to the park with them and talk with friends I made there. Anyways, I'd just like to say: thank you so much. You brought back meaning to my life. And that's all that matters.

Sincerely,

Robert (P.S. I think it's time for you to mow the lawn, haha!)


senior citizen, older gentleman, nieghbor, dog sitter, happy elderly manRepresentative image of Robert.via Canva/Photos

People absolutely loved Robert's letter—and Robert himself, judging from some of the comments:

"Robert is a national treasure and I take anything less to be an insult!"

"I wouldn’t just mow my lawn, but Robert’s too. Forever."

"Robert really is the good in all of us. He must be protected at all costs."

german shepards, dogs, pet sitters, dog breeds, dog in grass, happy dogA German shepard sits in the grass.via Aleksandar Mitrovic/Unsplash

Some people related to Robert, having found a new zest for life after getting pets of their own. Others joked that the whole letter was just an elaborate, "Midwest-nice" way to tell the poster their lawn needed attention. Some doubted the veracity of the letter, but even if it's not real, the comments from people sharing how their elderly loved ones had been helped by neighbors sharing their pets with them show that animals really can help people who are lonely find more connection and purpose in their lives.

Pets can bring much love into our lives and, according to the American Heart Association, can also help us live longer. Interacting with dogs boosts the production of "happy hormones" such as oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, which reduces stress levels and provides a greater sense of well-being. Regular walking with a dog is also a great way to exercise. Dog owners also have a unique advantage when overcoming a serious health problem. Dog owners who suffer from a heart attack or stroke are less likely to die than those who are not.

It's a good reminder to check in with older folks around us and to share the joy of our pets with people who might be lonely. You never know whose life you might touch with your furry friends.

This article originally appeared three years ago.