+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
upworthy

dress codes

Family

Mom goes off on her daughter's school for calling her casual outfit a dress code violation

"It's 2024. We've got to do better as a society.”

Representative image From Canva

If this is "distracting," then what are girls supposed to wear? Cloaks?

With as much evidence we have showing how dress codes specifically target women, you would think that finally, in 2024, there would be an end to it. But here we are.

To show how this ridiculous, blatant discrimination continues to rear its ugly head, look no further than a video posted by a mother named Shasty Leah, who received a phone call from her daughter’s school a mere two hours before school day would end…due to her outfit “distracting the boys.”

And just what was Leah’s daughter wearing that was so distracting? A high neck, long sleeve shirt and blue jean-like leggings.

That’s it. No crop tops or above-the-knee skirts or any of the other clothing items that typically get penalized.

And yet, this outfit was considered somehow too sexually alluring. Probably because Leah’s daughter was on the curvier side (Leah says that she and her daughter wear the same bra size). Seriously, this feels like it should be in a silly period piece movie. But no.

Understandably, Leah was livid.

“It’s 2024, and we're still teaching the boys that girls are their sexual play toys,” she says in the clip.

@its_shastys Schools are just full of shit#teamhypeasmile ♬ original sound - Shasty Leah

“We're not teaching the boys: You don't have a right to put your hands on any girl. You don't have a right to call her anything outside her God-given name, and you don't have a right to think that she is your sexual object. We're not teaching the boys that. No.”

But she doesn’t stop there. She rightfully adds that if schools really were concerned about all kinds of potentially suggestive dress, then there would be the cheerleading or volleyball outfits many tween and teen girls wear. Valid, valid points.

“It's 2024. We've got to do better as a society,” she says while shaking her head.

Leah even went on to say that as a mom to four boys, she has somehow, someway been able to bring them up to speed on not sexualizing women.

“They were taught the same thing, and you would think while the moms and daddies out there teaching their kids to play football and baseball and basketball, fish, hunt, all the fun things, maybe you could teach in gaming ... maybe teach them how not to be little s**ts. Be men.”

And by the way, below is the infamous outfit in question. Leah’s daughter couldn’t have been more conservative if she were wearing a burlap sack.

@its_shastys Replying to @Krystalkd1108 #teamhypeasmile ♬ original sound - Shasty Leah

Other viewers chimed in to share their support, and encouraged Leah to take action.

“There is NOTHING wrong with this outfit,” one person wrote.

Meanwhile, another added, “GO to the school board,” while someone else suggest “set up a meeting wearing that shirt.”

A few even noted that perhaps it’s not the boys who really have the problem, but the adults who are making the complaint.

“At my daughter's school the boys started wearing crop tops and things girls get DC for to make a point and they change the code,” one person shared.

Another commented, “When the school calls about dress code violations, I really want to know more about the adult who’s been staring and having a problem with it.”

Officials might argue that dress codes help instill a sense of productivity and focus, but for young girls—especially young girls with curvier body types and BIPOC students—they do more harm than good. This is fairly common knowledge by now, is it not? That’s why so many schools have been called out for it over the years.

And yet, an overwhelming majority of schools in the U.S. still enforce them. We’ve tried productivity the patriarchal way. It’s time to try something else, for crying out loud.

From Your Site Articles
school
Most Shared

Here’s what's going on with the drama surrounding the LPGA’s dress code.

An email sent out by the LPGA has created quite the storm online.

This is a woman playing golf.

Image via iStock.

This is a man playing golf.

Image via iStock.

It sure seems like they're playing the same sport, huh? You'd think the expectations surrounding their attire would reflect that, but a new controversial email sent out by the Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA) has thrown that into question.

And people definitely have some thoughts.

Earlier this month, the LPGA notified its players about updates in the organization's dress code.

The email, sent by LPGA player president Vicki Goetze-Ackerman, listed a number of policies regarding players' clothing and asked members to abide by the guidelines beginning July 17, 2017.

Here's how the email read, as Golf Digest pointed out:

  • Racerback with a mock or regular collar are allowed (no collar = no racerback)
  • Plunging necklines are NOT allowed.
  • Leggings, unless under a skort or shorts, are NOT allowed
  • Length of skirt, skort, and shorts MUST be long enough to not see your bottom area (even if covered by under shorts) at any time, standing or bent over.
  • Appropriate attire should be worn to pro-am parties. You should be dressing yourself to present a professional image. Unless otherwise told "no," golf clothes are acceptable. Dressy jeans are allowed, but cut-offs or jeans with holes are NOT allowed.
  • Workout gear and jeans (all colors) NOT allowed inside the ropes
  • Joggers are NOT allowed

As you might expect, the LPGA's email sparked a wave of criticism online.

As Teen Vogue put it, the list "leaves you wondering, what is allowed?"

Policing what women wear on the golf course is taking a step backward (maybe even into a previous century), some argued.

"Plain and simple this is a mistake by the LPGA," one Twitter user wrote. "The athletic wear is fine and crosses no line. #LetThemPlay"

But many people — most notably, several LPGA players themselves — don't see why people are making a fuss.

"There’s very minimal change to what our previous dress code is," golfer Christina Kim — who's currently competing in the LPGA tournament near Toledo, Ohio, this week — told The Detroit News. "I don’t know what people are making the hoopla about."

Fellow pro golfer Paige Spiranac tweeted that she doesn't think the dress code goes far enough.

Amid the backlash, it's worth comparing these rules to the dress code for men competing in the PGA.*

(*Why the women's association has an "L" in its name while the men's association apparently doesn't need to clarify gender is an article for a different day.)

According to the PGA's official website, its male "players shall present a neat appearance in both clothing and personal grooming. Clothing worn by players shall be consistent with currently accepted golf fashion."

And that's ... that.

The LPGA's (very) detailed email to its players reflects a bigger societal problem.

Double standards between men and women's athletic wear is nothing new.

In certain sports, standard attire requires girls and women wear much less than their male counterparts while competing. But in other sports, women are expected to cover up. We seem to police female athletes' bodies — in tennis arenas, swimming pools, volleyball courts, and more — with much more scrutiny than we do their male counterparts.

U.S. Olympic beach volleyball players Misty May-Treanor (left) and Sean Rosenthal (right). Photos by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images, Ryan Pierse/Getty Images.

The LPGA, however, maintains that its dress code is certainly not the latest example of any sexist industry double standard.

Amid the uproar, the LPGA released a statement, blasting media reports and claiming the criticism has been misguided.  

The statement reads, as Yahoo News reported:

"Recent comments in the media about a 'new' LPGA dress code are much to do about nothing. We simply updated our existing policy with minor clarifications, which were directed by our members for our members. This is not a regression, but rather a clarification for members of the policy, with references relevant to today's fashion styles. There was not meant to be, nor will there be, a discernible difference to what players are currently wearing out on Tour."

Regardless of the LPGA's dress code, the fact the organization's email sparked such strong responses shows this is a discussion we must keep having.

After all, athletes of all genders should be seen as competitors — as athletes capable of dressing in the clothes that enable them to be great at their sport — not as aesthetic objects to patrol.

"Policing these women's bodies and clothes takes away from their professional accomplishments," Suzannah Weiss wrote for Teen Vogue. "And if the sport wants a positive image, body-shaming is not the way to get it."

More

The women of Congress took a bold stand on an outdated dress code.

Cooperation can be hard to come by. This is a good place to start.

In America, we have the right to bear arms. Or is it to arm bears? Or maybe to bare arms? Something like that. Land of the free, home of the brave, and so on.

Tired of sweating in the D.C. heat, women in the House of Representatives recently took a stand against an outdated dress code banning sleeveless dresses. The rules of the dress code aren't actually that specific, simply saying that people on the House floor must wear "appropriate business attire."

Lately, however, that rule is being interpreted and enforced in a very specific way.

As CBS News reported:

"A young, female reporter recently tried to enter a guarded room known as the Speaker's lobby outside the House chamber, but her outfit was considered inappropriate because her shoulders weren't covered. She was wearing a sleeveless dress.

Forced to improvise, she ripped out pages from her notebook and stuffed them into her dress's shoulder openings to create sleeves, witnesses said. An officer who's tasked with enforcing rules in the Speaker's lobby said her creative concoction still was not acceptable."

Rep. Martha McSally (R-Arizona) took to the floor on July 12 in protest of the new Capitol Hill fashion police.

And two days later, Rep. Jackie Speier (D-California) organized #SleevelessFriday, capping off with a group photo of Congressional women showing off their metaphorical guns.

There's a long history of women on both sides of the aisle working together to update congressional norms.

In 1969, Rep. Charlotte Reid (R-Illinois) wore — *gasp* — pants and caused quite a stir. It wasn't until 1993 that pressure from newly-elected Carol Moseley-Braun (D-Illinois) that the Senate updated their rules to allow women to wear pants. In 2011, women of the House banded together to demand a women's restroom be added near the House floor — something their male counterparts had had all along. And they got it.

Of course, yes, there's a lot of other world-redefining, life-altering stuff happening right now in Congress — like the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad health care bill — that needs our attention. In fact, now would be a pretty great time to give your senators a quick call to let them know how you feel.

This story is a reminder of how great it can be when Democrats and Republicans work together — even if it is just to fight for a better dress code.

For his part, Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) has committed to updating the dress code, telling reporters that he'll be working with the House sergeant-at-arms to clarify the code and its enforcement.

In the meantime, it's good to see a little reasonable action coming from the political abyss. It's something we don't hear about nearly enough.

These shorts got her daughter sent home. Mom's letter to the school is straight fire.

'Here are the specifications you have to work with. I wish you loads of luck.'

Sexist school dress codes: They just won't go away.

Girls all over the country are routinely targeted and disciplined for wearing yoga pants, shorts, skirts, and tops deemed "inappropriate," or worse, "distracting."

Photo by Bruno Vincent/Getty Images.

Outrage over these policies swells each school year, and while some school districts have taken action, the overwhelming majority still treat teen boys with kid gloves (they mustn't be tempted!) and punish girls for it.

This year, one mom is taking an interesting approach: She's inviting her daughter's principal to take her shopping.

Really.

Catherine Pearlman wrote on Today that her middle-school-age daughter was sent home two days in a row for dressing "inappropriately."

In an open letter to the school's principal, Pearlman doesn't come off as angry so much as exasperated (with more than a hint of sarcasm).

"To reward you for treating my daughter with such concern, I am cordially inviting you to take my daughter shopping," she wrote.

It might sound simple to old-fashioned (and, frankly, often male) administrators to pick up some clothes that fit the dress code. But oh how wrong they are.

Pearlman explains:

"Here are the specifications you have to work with. I wish you loads of luck.

She is 5’7” and 13 years old. Built more like her father, she has exceptionally long legs and arms.

She doesn’t like anything pink or purple or frilly.

She won’t wear pants because she gets overheated easily. Trust me I’ve seen this. It will cause a scene in the school yard.

She absolutely will not wear a dress either."







Doesn't sound too hard, right? We're not done.

"No item of clothing can have a logo visible because to her that’s not cool. She will however, wear any type of superhero, Green Day or USFL T-shirt if you can find them. You might be able to try for an occasional Beatles reference but that’s touch and go.

Now, don’t forget that you will have to find something in the stores that also meets with yourdress code requirements. Here are the tricky areas that are most difficult to avoid. As per your policy she cannot wear tank tops. Shorts and skirts must not extend to the end of the fingertips (This is a toughie.)

So, if I were you (and I’m glad I’m not) I’d focus on the shorts first. She has very long fingers which seems to make finding shorts that won’t get her sent to the principal’s office impossible (On the bright side the piano teacher says those fingers are an asset.). I’d schedule a few afternoons and weekends for this endeavor. I can tell you from experience that just heading to the mall, Target and the outlets won’t cut it. Not much for her there. I’ve already checked.

One last point: please try to stay within a reasonable budget. We can’t spend a fortune on her wardrobe. She is still growing after all."





The letter struck a chord with parents of teen and preteen girls everywhere, quickly going viral.

"We got a lot of letters from moms of very tall girls saying, 'Thank you so much,'" Pearlman says in a phone interview. "This is a true, difficult problem."

No word on whether the principal will take Pearlman up on her offer — she says she didn't send the letter to the school but expects they'll hear about it eventually. She also says she's talked to them about the dress code in the past. But kudos to Pearlman for bringing some more attention to an important issue.

Let's stop making young girls and their parents jump through extraordinary hoops to find "appropriate" clothes, and instead focus on creating learning environments where everyone can dress comfortably and do what they're there to do: learn.

Trending Stories