upworthy

baking

Family

Woman bakes cheeky curse word pies for her grandma and it becomes a quirky holiday tradition

2023's pie is an homage to her favorite word to use while stuck in traffic.

Canva

You never know where a holiday tradition will come from.

Tried-and-true holiday traditions certainly have their merit, but there’s something quite special, magical even, about discovering personal rituals that commemorate one’s unique life. In my household, for instance, nothing quite rings in the Christmas spirit like sipping my partner’s delicious coquito and putting up a cardboard gingerbread house for my cats.

The beauty of creating customized holiday traditions is that they can be as festive, sentimental, or as silly as you want them to be. And you never know how one small moment can become the catalyst for a tradition that sparks joy year after year.

For Jess Lydon, that tradition is baking expletive-laden pies for Thanksgiving. (This is your profanity warning—the images below contain swear words.)


“What started as a means to get a rise out of my Grammy has snowballed into a weird family tradition. I bake one pie a year,” Lydon shared to the subreddit r/Baking.

For 2023, Lydon chose the word “D---wad,” an homage to her favorite word to hurl in a fit of road rage, topped onto a decadent rosette-filled apple pie.

pie

A pie with with word “D---wad" placed on top

preview.redd.it

“Asshat,” apparently her second favorite word, was used in 2016.

Lydon also added a litany of pies from former years— “F---wit,” “Penis,”“B----,” “F--- Off”…you get the idea.

Gotta say, watching Lydon’s baking skills progress over the years (thanks in large part to using the correct tools, she notes) to something worthy of a Paul Hollywood handshake on “British Bake-off” makes this even more enjoyable.

Pie with "F–wit' written in dough on top

Folks on Reddit seemed to enjoy it too. If for nothing else, to add their own profanity-themed jokes.

“A culinary and visual delight! This is the best thing I've seen all day,” one person wrote.

Meanwhile, another quipped, “Your growth in pastry work is quite touching, c---,” to which Lydon replied, “Thank you, t---. I’m pretty proud of the progress. And grateful to my family for putting up with The Early Years. The first few pies were rough looking.”

Others had suggestions for next year’s pies, including “prick,” “nimrod,” “bollocks,” and “bastard.” All solid choices.

As Lydon explained to TODAY.com, the tradition came about from trying to get a “giggle” out of her “sweet little Japanese” grandma. After seeing that first pie, which read “F--- Off,” Lydon recalled that her grandmother gave a lighthearted “double edged compliment” by saying, “Oh my, well, I can see that you’ve tried really hard. And you put a lot of effort into it.”

Sadly, Lydon’s grandmother passed away a few years after the first pie, but the cheeky tradition lived on. And in its own quirky way, it brings Lydon’s family together.

As for her Reddit popularity, Lydon told TODAY.com that she’s thrilled others shared her love of vulgar pastry making, and is happy to see that some folks might start their own version of the tradition.

“If we can make a few more people laugh because of rude words looking pretty, then I’m all for it.”

Whether it’s curse-word pies, funny sweaters, DIY decorations, or something else altogether, maybe this is a sign to create your own unique holiday tradition, however big or small.
More

Rejected from job after job, this baker with Down syndrome opened her own shop instead.

'Never give up. Don't let people make you sad or feel rejected. Stay motivated and follow your dreams.'

Ever since she was 15 years old, Collette Divitto has been baking up a storm in her family's kitchen.

"I always baked after school and on the weekends," explains Divitto in an email. "I loved baking for my family for holidays."

Photo via Collettey's Cookies/Facebook, used with permission.


She quickly realized she wanted to make a career out of her passion for baking, and when she was 22, she started applying to jobs in Boston.

To each interview, she'd bring samples of the cookies that her family and friends had raved about. Unfortunately, none of the places that interviewed her offered her a job; for all her hard work, Divitto mostly saw a lot of doors being closed in her face.

"Many people who interviewed me for jobs said I was really nice but not a good fit for them," writes Divitto. "It was really hurtful and I felt rejected a lot."

While being turned down for jobs isn't unusual for a lot of young people, Divitto wondered if — in her case — she wasn't getting offered jobs because she has Down syndrome.

While the rejection was disheartening, it did not dissuade her from following her dreams. She rolled up her sleeves and got to work.

With the help of her mom and sister, Divitto started her own cookie company called Collettey's. They soon received their first order for her famous cookies (chocolate chip with cinnamon and other secret ingredients) from a grocery store in Boston called Golden Goose Market.

Photo via Collettey's Cookies/Facebook, used with permission.

Divitto began making 100 cookies a week for the Golden Goose, then — thanks to coverage by CBS News — orders began pouring in from all over the country. Today, Divitto is 26 and by mid-December had posted that Collettey's is up to 10,000 orders to be filled.

"My biggest success so far is how big my company is growing, which means I can start hiring people with and without disabilities," Divitto says.

Photo via Collettey's Cookies/Facebook, used with permission.

Right now, Collettey's staff consists of Divitto, her mom, and her sister as well as some amazing volunteers from Golden Goose Market who help bake and ship all the cookies. As the business grows, she'll need more staff very soon.

According to a Bureau of Labor Statistics report, 10.7% of people with a disability who are actively looking for work were unemployed in 2015. That's twice the unemployment rate of people without a disability. In light of those figures, Divitto plans to offer as many job opportunities to people in the the disabled community as she can.

Divitto hopes her accomplishments inspire others to pursue their dreams any way they can, even if it means taking a nontraditional route.

Photo via Collettey's Cookies/Facebook, used with permission.

"I never raised her looking at her as if she had limitations," Divitto's mom, Rosemary Alfredo, told ABC News. "I just said, 'We all have them. We all have things we're good at, and we all have things we’re not good at.' You can call them disabilities. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. We don't focus on that."

Or, as Divitto says: "Never give up. Don't let people make you sad or feel rejected. Stay motivated and follow your dreams."

True
General Mills

Do you have a favorite holiday memory?

For me, one in particular stands out. I was about 15, and it was another hot, island Christmas (I grew up in the Virgin Islands, so Christmas was always over 80 degrees, and every day looked like a postcard). My mom, sister, a chunk of my family, and I went over to my gran’s house to spend time with her and with each other, ushering in the season.

Gran had made her famous homemade eggnog (for which she refused to give away the recipe). The entire family crowded into the kitchen for our serving before moving to the patio, where we watched the sun go down while drinking eggnog, arguing about music, and debating the merits of Mariah Carey.


That memory is what the holidays mean to me. Everyone being together, laughing, and celebrating the season and that we’d almost made it through another year.

The gazebo in downtown Frederiksted, St. Croix, all decked out for the holidays. Image via iStock.  

The holidays mean something a little bit different to each of us, but in the kitchen and around the dinner table, we make some of our favorite memories.

General Mills has been around for 150 years and knows a thing or two about food and the holidays. They asked a few of their blogger fans to share their favorite holiday traditions, and one thing was pretty clear: Food and family are key ingredients for many of us during the holiday season. Their sweet memories — which many of us can relate to — will give you all the holiday feels.

1. Like cookie-decorating extravaganzas that each generation of kids loves.

The great cookie decorating tradition continues with Liz's kids. Image used with permission.

Liz, author of the blog Eat Move Make, remembers she and her siblings helped their mom to decorate holiday treats.

"My mom would bake cut-out cookies, and we'd decorate them. ... We took our little works of art seriously! It was so fun to find the ones we knew we had made. I distinctly remember the crunch of the colored sugars as I'd take a bite," she wrote on her blog.

"I still use the same recipe and decorating technique with my own kids since it's such a fond memory, and my kids insist to this day that those cookies be a part of their tradition every year as well."

2. And then there's the playful squabbles that take place every holiday between the same two family members.

Myrah (also know as the "Coupon Mamacita") recalls her parents' playful bickering each year as her dad attempted to carve the turkey.

Myrah and her parents in front of the Christmas tree. Image used with permission.

Myrah's dad would give carving his best effort, and her mom would poke and prod at him, pretending to be upset with his efforts. She'd tell him, "You’re ruining it!" while he asserted "It’s fine. Let me do it, " Myrah recalls on her blog. "All the hand waving that went with it was so comforting and warming to me. It was a tradition that made me smile as I watched them have their annual 'war.'"

3. Baking for Santa is a tradition that can never grow old.

Stephanie, who blogs as The Tiptoe Fairy, cherishes the moments spent with her kids baking pastries for Santa and family friends.

It's all hands on deck as Stephanie and her kids bake holiday treats. Images used with permission.

"Our favorite holiday tradition is baking together," she shares on her blog. "My  kids love helping me bake. Every year, we make tons of baked goodies for their teachers, friends, and my husband’s coworkers. We also always bake something yummy for Santa to enjoy while he’s leaving gifts. Each year I come up with something new. This year it’s Brownie Stuffed Crescent Rolls. One of these fresh out of the oven is just melt-in-your-mouth heavenly.”

4. And there's nothing like savoring a treat while the family gathers around the Christmas tree.

For Heather, author of the blog Who Needs a Cape, nothing compares to her family's picture-perfect Christmas mornings in front of the tree.

Heather's delicious apple crescent ring, a Christmas morning favorite in her family. Image used with permission.

"As cliche as it is ... Christmas morning is always just my husband, me and our kids (ok the dog is there this year too)," Heather writes. "I LOVE just spending the majority of our day in our jammies. Kids ripping through presents, my husband and I with coffee watching ... we open our gifts after the kids are off playing with whatever new thing is the best. I make something EASY but super yummy [like her apple crescent ring]. It's easy and delish and everyone in my family loves a fancy treat for Christmas Morning!"

What's your favorite holiday tradition?

Whether it's time spent relaxing with your family, stealing food off each other's dinner plates during a shared meal, or swapping stories from the past year and hopes and dreams for the year to come, we wish you a wonderful holiday.

You might recognize Chris Hemsworth as the secretary in the upcoming "Ghostbusters" reboot, as the Marvel Cinematic Universe's Thor, or as the older brother of Miley Cyrus's sometimes beau, Liam.

But what you might not know is that the Australian god of thunder also has aspirations of culinary greatness and a 4-year-old daughter named India whom he dares not disappoint.

When his sweet little girl requested a chocolate T. rex cake to celebrate her birthday, the Mighty Hemsworth knew exactly what to do: order a cake from the cake store.

But life is not without its roadblocks, even for an in-demand leading man. We can’t say for sure if Hemsworth was hindered by the famously terrible L.A. traffic on the Rainbow Bridge to Asgard, or if he just waited too long to call the local bakery, but either way, the end result revealed the same shocking, awful truth: The cake store wouldn't have time to create the requested culinary dino-concoction in time for his daughter's birthday.

"What do you mean, you can't bake me a cake for my daughter's birthday? I'm $@ing THOR." — what the ever-friendly Chris Hemsworth definitely did not say. Photo by Anthony Kwan/Getty Images.

So Hemsworth swung into action, like a huntsman in that movie where he plays the huntsman.

Lest he return to his home empty-handed, Hemsworth consulted with Odin's great wisdom and found a recipe for such a cake as his daughter did desire.

With the knowledge of the Norns in hand, he got the the necessary ingredients from a store, just like a normal person who is also a father and wishes to do right by his daughter would do.

Photo by Torsten Laursen/Getty Images.

It was not until he returned to his humble Los Angeles abode that he realized he had forgotten eggs!

(OK so this part didn't actually happen. But I'm taking some creative license just so I can share this funny picture of an exasperated Chris Hemsworth.)

Photo by Alberto Alcocer/Getty Images.

With the clock ticking down toward the anniversary of his daughter's day of birth, the heroic Hemsworth grabbed the mixing bowl and fervently whisked the ingredients together and poured the batter blend into a dinosaur-shaped dish...

Tens of minutes passed as he anxiously awaited for the sugary mixture to settle into its spongy form within the oven...

Watching a cake bake is really, really boring, so here's a lovely photo of Chris and his wife, Elsa Pataky.

Photo by Samir Hussein/Getty Images for StudioCanal.

With seconds to spare (I'm editorializing), the kitchen timer sounded out an ear-piercing ding, and Hemsworth retrieved his Tyrannosaurus creation from the oven's fiery bowels!

He named his fine dino-delicacy "La TRex al la chocolate," which is a lost Latin phrase that I assume means "Chris Hemsworth made a totally awesome dinosaur cake for his daughter 'cause he's the man."

The lesson here is clear. Next time you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, or afraid that you might disappoint the one you love, remember: It doesn't take a magical hammer or the power of the gods to bake a dinosaur cake.

Even a god of thunder can screw up and forget a simple task that he probably should planned for ahead of time. But as long as you remember that there's always room to improvise, even if it means you get your hands dirty in the name of love (and not to forget the eggs), you'll be just fine.