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Elections

People are debating whether U.S. presidents should be able to be elected past age 65

There are some solid points being made on both sides.

donald trump, joe biden, oldest presidents, presidential age limits
The White House (public domain)

The last few presidential elections have prompted debates about age limits on politicians.

In today's political climate, it's hard to find thoughtful, respectful discussions online, especially when people disagree on an issue. We've all seen the way public discourse can break down into personal attacks, partisan stereotypes, logical fallacies, and other things that limit our ability to hear and understand one another's perspectives.

However, we have important issues to discuss as a collective, and when we find examples of public discourse where people with differing opinions voice their thoughts and make their arguments reasonably, it's worth looking at. When someone on Reddit asked, "Would limiting the age of the President to 65 be something you’d support? Why or why not?" thousands of responses came in, and the discussion was remarkably civil.

from AskReddit

Considering the fact that the two most recent presidents have been the oldest to ever serve in the office, were both well past the average retirement age for Americans when they were elected, and both had their cognitive abilities publicly questioned during both of their terms, the question of upper age limits on the presidency has become more relevant than ever. Hopefully, this discussion will offer some good food for thought as the average age of our politicians at the federal level still sits close to retirement age.

YES—arguments for presidential age limits

The folks who advocate for an upper age limit on the presidency cite the greater possibility of cognitive decline as people age as one reason, but that's not all. Some point out that the people making decisions should be the ones who will have to live with them long term and that politics needs fresh ideas and perspectives. Some point out that the chance of a president dying in office increases with age, and some say it's only fair to have an upper limit since we have a lower one.

donald trump, joe biden, oldest president, presidential age limits, USA President Trump and President Biden are the two oldest people to be elected U.S. president.The White House (public domain)

Here are some of the affirmative responses:

"Yes, if there is a young age limit then an older one is justified as well."

"I’d support age limits for all politicians. Asking someone to live a while in the world they create is a fair ask, in my opinion."

"I recently read: 'Someone whose time left on this earth is best measured in years should not make decisions with an impact over decades.'"

"I think the young age limit is bulls--t anyway. We need more people in power who'll live long enough to experience the outcomes of their decisions."

"There is a minimum so a maximum makes sense. 35-70 seems reasonable. A 70 year old running for election would finish the term at 74, maybe 75 depending on time of birthday of course. Just for discussion sake."

presidential age limits, presidential eligibility, oldest presidents Should eligibility for the presidency be limited to age 65?Photo credit: Canva

"If the average US citizen dies at 74-76 and retirement age is 65 then the max age to be elected should also be 65. I know humans can live well past 100 but the US culture of health spits in the face of aging gracefully."

"I think the dilemma is that experience grows with age but so mental abilities decline. Finding that point where the mental decline is no longer acceptable is tough. Especially with a role like the presidency where really you should be relying on the expertise of other.

Still I support a max age limit. And you could let the older more experienced politicians work as advisors if they want. They don't have to get out of politics but they do have to let someone younger have the final say in things."

"People should be retired from politics at retirement age. As in you can’t run for office after you hit retirement age. And while we are at it, lowering retirement age back to 65 sounds great."

Joe Biden was the oldest person to become president at age 78. Giphy GIF by Election 2020

"As someone who actually interacts with 70 year old people, I can honestly tell you the mental 'slow-down' really doesn't start until the late 70s or early 80s.

65 is a little too safe but I would absolutely agree with not being able to run past 70. That would make the oldest member of the exec/leg branches 74. Five years might not seem that different but that's what I'd choose. Granted, I'd definitely support 65 over there not being an age limit.

SCotUS, on the other hand, should be forced to retire at retirement age, whatever that is. I feel that each of them needs to have more of their finger on the pulse of where the country is, due to their more impactful position; 1 of 9 vs. 1 of 100/435."

"75 by Election Day I would support 100%. I would almost definitely support 70 by Election Day."

"Agree. 75 by election day is fair. I work in healthcare and people over 65 should have an opportunity to be represented because they have a drastically different set of needs than people who are 55."


presidential seal, president of the united states, POTUS The president of the United States is one of the most powerful positions in the world.Photo credit: Canva

"I get that many people are able to work effectively at advanced ages, but there is a difference between being a professor, insurance agent, or retail worker and being President of the United States. Warren Buffett waited until an advanced age to retire, beyond what most corporate boards would tolerate, but Berkshire Hathaway doesn't have any nuclear warheads. Presidents Reagan, Biden, and Trump have all shown signs of age-related cognitive impairment while in office without any 25th Amendment action being taken, so we need some sort of additional safeguard."

"I support age limits for both physical and mental wellness reasons; 75 by Election Day seems reasonable to me, just because it would have to be somewhere. If nothing else, after 75 the chances a president will die in office go way up, and it’s always better to avoid that."

"Yes. Regardless of one's ability to perform, new ideas need to come into government. The added bonus of weeding out people who have aged out of their competency is second."

"Absolutely yes. They should be young enough to have to live with the consequences of their actions."

president washington, president lincoln, u.s. presidents The only age requirement in the Constitution is that the U.S. president has to be at least 35 years old.Photo credit: Canva

NO—arguments against presidential age limits

The people who say there shouldn't be age limits cite the fact that cognitive decline or impairment is not guaranteed with age and that plenty of older people are sharper than people many years their junior. Some cite the need for people of all ages to have representation, including the elderly, and others point out that a long life an experience can be an invaluable asset in a world leader.

Here are some anti-age-limit arguments:

"No, I've met people in their 50s who would be too incapacitated for the job, and yet met people in their 90s who would be. As long as they are mentally fit then it's fine."

"No, because that's ageist, and elderly people need representation too. Our issue isn't the fact we have presidents over 65 years old; the issue is we keep voting for presidential candidates(even in the nominations) that are over 65 years old."

"There is a pretty wide range on health from individual to individual. In theory voters should be able to judge whether the person's health is a concern. That of course assumes transparency on candidate health though."

"No. The issue is mental decline, not age. Different people experience mental decline at different ages. Some lucky people don't experience it until their 70d and 80s. Let the people decide who is fit to serve by our votes."

voting, elections, electing the president of the united states Some argue that the voters should decide whether a candidate is too old at the ballot box.Photo credit: Canva

"Why? Just vote for a younger candidate next time. You're literally advocating for limiting your own democratic choice... Why?"

"Age ain't always about the number, ya know? Like, got some folks in their 70s sharper than a fresh pencil and others in their 60s feeling like grandpa needs a nap. Suppose depends more on the energy and ideas they bring than digits in their age. We gotta vet 'em on their vibe, not just the year on their birth cert, IMO."

"No. I know too many people over 65 who are some of the smartest and hardest working people I have ever met. It's not the age. It's the attitude and ability.

And the experience in a lot of cases. The type of experience matters. If you have someone with experience making the lives of others better - they will continue to be able to make the lives of others better, even if they are in their 80s (see the notorious RBG). If they have experience with bankrupting companies and not paying their bills, they will continue to be able to bankrupt companies and not pay their bills even if they are in their 80s.

I know more folks over 65 (heck, over 75) who want good education and national healthcare and guaranteed parental leave and higher minimum wages than folks under 40."

The American flag, united states, stars and stripes The United States has very few requirements to be eligible to run for president.Photo credit: Canva

"No. It's not going to change the quality of candidates and it's an arbitrary cutoff. People can get dementia at 50."

"I don’t know that age limits are fair. My mother-in-law is 90 years old and she is sharp as a tac and still in great physical health, believe it or not. Not that she’s interested in running for president. Lol. However, competency tests may very well be in order. I could certainly get behind that."

"No. The president needs to have experience, a long knowledge/understanding of current events domestically and geopolitically, and a deep reservoir of alliances, leverage, etc. for getting things done at home and negotiating on the world stage. Biden, for example, had served in Congress forever and was remarkably effective at getting legislation passed despite Republican blockades: a lot of this effectiveness was due to Biden, Pelosi, Schumer's long experience and behind-the-scenes understanding of how to get things done.

joe biden, choose diplomacy, u.s. presidents Joe Biden had decades of experience in governance when he was elected. Giphy GIF by GIPHY News

I agree that we need more young voices in government but there is ENORMOUS value in having some representatives who are long-entrenched and have an infrastructure and savvy to harness.

This is especially important for diplomacy, which is arguably one of the President's most important jobs. Biden, for example, had been actively involved with foreign affairs for decades and the value of that cannot be understated. Ukraine owes a great deal to the fact that Biden, his cabinet, and his intelligence agencies outplayed Putin at the outset of the invasion, and to the fact that Biden was on a first-name basis with so many world leaders, who he called upon personally to unite with sanctions, Ukraine aide, etc.

Frankly, a young president who only knows of the Cold War from history class would get eaten alive by Putin at the negotiating / leverage table. How can you be taken seriously interacting with world leaders if you were still a kid when they were fighting battles and moving world politics?"

john f. kennedy, youngest president, presidential age limits John F. Kennedy was the youngest person to be elected U.S. president. Photo credit: Canva

"No. If someone spent 20 years as a teacher, in the military, being a doctor, etc before getting into politics and then got the experience to actually make a run, they’d probably be in their 60s and we could miss out on a genuinely good candidate who wasn’t a lifelong politician. But I would say the oldest I’d prefer would be voting for a 70 year old for their re-election as president. I’d prefer they be younger, but if they’re a good leader I wouldn’t say no over their age at that point. But by 75 they should have no business trying to run the country."

"Personally I want term limits for all branches of government and routine cognitive tests for people 65 and over. I do believe older people should be represented because ageism can exist. As long as you are sharp, you should be able to work."

"In and of itself an arbitrary age limit is meaningless. What we need is yearly cognitive tests with mandatory independent verification and publishing results."

"Absolutely not. While some people have significant cognitive decline past 60, plenty do not. Politicians don't need to have the reflexes of a pilot or motor skills of a neurosurgeon so citing other mandatory retirement ages doesn't follow. We'd be removing decades of experience for potential candidates. Solving the problem of entrenched politicians and stagnating perspectives is going to be much trickier than adding an age limit."

u.s. constitution, constitutional amendment, presidential age limits, presidential eligibility Adding an age limit for the U.S. presidency would require a constitutional amendment.Photo credit: Canva

What would it take to put an age limit on the U.S. presidency?

The eligibility requirements to become president are set in the Constitution, so it would require a new constitutional amendment to add an upper age limit. That means two-third of Congress in both the House of Representatives and the Senate would have to vote for it, and then 38 out of 50 state legislatures would have to ratify it. The chances of those majorities agreeing on anything of that great a significance is highly unlikely, but the same could have been said for many of the amendments we've passed in the past. But it's hard to say if a presidential age limit is even something most Americans really want, which is why seeing the pros and cons being argued is so interesting.

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

Joy

A 'social experiment' lets people from Texas and San Francisco randomly connect on a payphone

"People don't want to be seen as stereotypes. People look to connect on human stuff."

Matter Neuroscience,  payphone experiment, Texas, California, Abilene, San Francisco, humanity
Photo Credit: Canva, Matter Neuroscience, Instagram

Two payphones set up in Abilene, Texas and San Francisco, California let complete strangers chat.

Imagine you're walking by a payphone in Abilene, Texas, when it unexpectedly rings. You pick up, only to hear that a total stranger over 1500 miles away in San Francisco is on the other end of the line. Do you argue, as so many social media algorithms would have people do? Or do you dig into your primal human instinct, the one that makes evolution possible, and find yourself connecting?

The biotech company Matter Neuroscience had this thought. What if they chose one of the most conservative and most liberal cities in the U.S. and installed free payphone-looking devices in each one? The idea is to bridge the gap between the great divide many are currently experiencing. Whether due to politics, religion, or different lifestyles, many are seemingly forgetting that we're all just human beings searching for contentment.


On their Instagram page, Matter Neuroscience (@Matterneuroscience) explains that it's about people connecting from all walks of life. "The goal of this project is to create space for friendly, human-to-human conversations. We believe that a few different opinions (even on important political topics) should not block us from having a truly positive, maybe even fun conversation with other humans."

How it works

As explained on the initial Instagram Reel, "When one phone is picked up, it automatically calls the other." In a video, we see one of the Matter Neuroscience teammates, Logan Ivey, setting up an old payphone that was bought on Facebook Marketplace for $300.00. Ivey jimmies it open to put a modem inside, with a Verizon SIM card inserted. In essence, it's a cell phone inside of a payphone.

On the side, the words "The Party Line" are painted to entice people walking by to give it a shot. At the top of the "payphone" in San Francisco, they've written "Call a Republican." (In Texas, it says "Call a Democrat.") There's an extra plaque at the top that says, "This payphone is a social experiment. Right now you're in San Francisco, the most liberal city in America. When you pick up this phone, it will automatically connect you to another payphone in Abilene, Texas, the most conservative city in America."

They continue their mission statement, writing, "The goal for this project is to have people from different places have meaningful conversations. Because hostile political discourse increases our brain's cortisol levels and suppresses our happiness. But positive conversations do the opposite. We are recording the conversations so that we can highlight positive ones on our social media account, though any personal names shared will be bleeped out, as we treasure your anonymity. Have fun and enjoy!"

The results

People are already taking the "have fun" part to heart. In one conversation, the phone rings in Texas and a young woman answers. After some giggly pleasantries, they each establish the cities they're in and the current weather. The adorably pure laughter continues as they realize what a cool thing they're taking part in. The Texan shares, "I've been to San Francisco before. You have those cool little streets and stuff."

The Californian is, unfortunately, late for a meeting, but noted, "I was like I had to pick up." The Texan is glad she did, gushing, "Oh my goodness. We picked up at the same time. I'll probably never see you again. But Jesus loves you and I hope you have a good life."

The Californian agrees. "Oh yeah, you too. Sending you all the best. All the blessings."

Another conversation has a Texas woman and a California guy connecting nearly immediately. He admits, "I was running down the street and I heard the phone ring. Wait a second, I know that phone!"

They laugh and once again pleasantly discuss the weather. He then asks, "What else do you want to talk about?"

She answers honestly, saying, "I don't know! We just wanted to call and make some friends." He replies, "Oh fantastic! Well, I'm going to meet a bunch of friends out. We're a group called Moto Chug. It's not really a group, but it's the group text name. And we're all friends who ride motorcycles together." He tells her a bit about their group, to which she replies in earnest, "You are so cool. I hope that you know that. And I hope that you go and tell your friends that this random college kid from Abilene, Texas thinks that you guys are so cool."

He sweetly responds, "Awww, awesome! Right on! Well, it's great to talk to Texas, man. Hang in there. I've got good family in Texas and they're all great people. Hella love going from San Francisco to Abilene, Texas right now."

They then exchange names before he tells her, "We need to make more connections to make this a better place."

The comment section is delighted. One writes, "I'm grinning from ear to ear — just pure joy on what's going on here! Can't wait for the next call."

Another adds, in part, "The type of discourse we really need in this country."

Matter Neuroscience and their mission

Matter Neuroscience has been searching for the definitive formula for happiness since they were founded in 2019. Alongside the Happiness Research Institute, Maastricht University, and the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, they (according to their website) sought "to find a universal biomarker for happiness to guide all of us to long, happier, healthier lives." But what they've found is that the answer is far more complex than some doctors or even philosophers might suggest.

Upworthy had the chance to chat with Ben Goldhirsh, who co-founded Matter Neuroscience, alongside neuroscientist Axel Bouchon. (Small world! Goldhirsh incidentally was also one of the co-founders of GOOD Worldwide, the umbrella company of Upworthy.) He explained that in all of his research, he has found that if people only understood how the brain worked, it could make a real difference. "It's interesting how culture sort of focuses you on certain areas. The reality is that your biology requires this rainbow of activity."

He also notes that everyone should benefit from happiness research, not just depression and anxiety patients. Their team decided, "We should create something that is useful to everyone. So, we basically opened up the 'Emotional Fitness Club' (an app.) Everyone should understand the science of happiness. We all have this incredible organ, and we're trying every day to teach people about this stuff."

The payphone experiment wanted to test how people, when stripped to just two voices across the country, would react to one another. "One of the topics that a lot of people in our community were talking about is how stressful things feel right now. And so cortisol is this fascinating and super valuable chemical in the brain that is popped out when we experience conflict or a fight-or-flight response."

The question posed was: "Are we in a state of fight or flight actually? Or are we actually just misconstruing things and feeling like we're in conflict? If we put a phone booth in the most liberal city and the most conservative city based on voting blocks, will people choose conflict? Because in a way, that's what the media would make you think people would choose. Or will people choose to connect and find common ground, which releases all these positive emotions, or chemicals, in the brain? Will they choose cortisol and conflict? Or will people choose cannabinoids and finding common ground?"

Turns out, at least so far, that 100 percent of the people in these conversations have chosen common ground. "I get to listen to all of this. It's this amazing break from the funny mirror that we're constantly looking in."

Additionally, Goldhirsh shares that people are just looking to connect. "People don't want to be seen as stereotypes. People look to connect on human stuff. Like 'Oh, I'm on a date.' Or 'Gosh, this sandwich is so expensive.' Humans are awesome, and if given the chance to connect, it brings out our humanity. And it's really nice to see how we biologically evolved to connect with each other directly. And when we have those opportunities, it turns out the best parts of us."

Education

How embracing the 'Empty Boat Theory' can help you keep anger and anxiety in check

The classic Taoist parable has found new life on TikTok, but its core message stays the same.

empty boat theory, taoism, buddhism, psychology, mindset, anger, anxiety, self help, mindfulness

Ancient wisdom for the modern day.

We all have moments where it feels like the world is against us. When we assume people are thinking negatively about us, we act accordingly by becoming angry or anxious. Once that mindset latches on, it can be tough to let go.

But one simple Taoist parable-turned-viral-TikTok-hack offers a gentle yet powerful reminder that we are not the main character in everyone’s story.


What is the “Empty Boat Theory”?

@sean.of.the.living The “empty boat” theory has me brain spinning lately. This is a brain hack to staying in a happier mindset. #advice #emptyboat #lifehack ♬ original sound - sean.of.the.living

Think of it as a thought experiment. Imagine yourself on a boat in the middle of a lake, as another boat drifts towards you, threatening to knock right into you. The closer this incoming vessel gets, the angrier you become.

Then, at the last second, you steer your boat out from the path of collision, only to notice that the other boat is empty. What this really puts into perspective, as TikToker @sean.of.the.living put it, is “There was never anybody to be angry with in the first place.”

“That’s life, isn’t it?” he said. “We assume everything’s about us. ‘They’re just doing that to screw me, to piss me off.’”

“Most of the time, nobody’s thinking about you.”

The Empty Boat Parable

@aliabdaal The Empty Boat: A Lesson in Letting Go A man gets furious when another boat crashes into him, shouting and ready to fight. But when the fog clears, he sees the boat is empty. No one was steering, no harm was intended. His anger disappears. Most frustrations in life are just empty boats. People are dealing with their own struggles, not trying to hurt you. Next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself – am I just reacting to an empty boat?
♬ original sound - Ali Abdaal

However, long before it was a viral brain hack on TikTok, this story taught how much self-inflicted suffering comes simply from the stories we tell ourselves about other people's attitudes towards us.

As the parable goes, a young monk (or simply a young man, depending on which version you read) hops onto a boat in hopes of finding a quiet spot to meditate. Suddenly, he is bumped by another boat. Furious, the monk opens his eyes and lashes out at the person responsible for disrupting his flow. There is, however, no one to blame. The boat is empty. Knowing there's now no one to be mad at, truly, the man's anger instantly dissipates.

The core message is that sometimes a bump is just a bump. We need not assume malicious intent, and would be better equipped to handle life’s collision with grace if we didn’t.

The Spotlight Effect

Bringing it into therapy-speak, the Empty Boat Theory/Parable also relates to the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to wrongly believe that others are mentally scrutinizing us when, in fact, they are likely not thinking about us at all.

This bias is a symptom of egocentrism. You don’t have to be a full-blown narcissist to be egocentric. We all, from time to time, consider ourselves to be the center of the universe in some way. It’s part of being an individual! But without mindfulness, we can let our egos overestimate how many eyes are actually on us at any given time, which only leads to a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

Whether you wanna call it a brain hack, ancient wisdom, or a psychological principle, we could all benefit from reminding ourselves to really pick our battles. Easier said than done in today’s world, but vital nonetheless. Here's to hoping that being aware of all the empty boats out there will lead to smoother sailing for everyone.

And if you're wondering just who’s to blame for letting that rogue boat out to wreak havoc on the water…? Well, that’s a different conversation.

This article originally appeared last year.

Pop Culture

People rally behind an older woman who refused to train her 25-year-old replacement

"They expected me to teach her the job they said I wasn't good enough for."

ageism, workplace ageism, workplace violations, hr, negotiating severance package, exit strategy, hiring, jobs

An older employee refused two train her replacement who was "fresh out of grad school."

When an older employee was asked to train a 25-year-old to do the same job she'd been doing for as long as the young recruit had been alive, she had some choice words. And it became a vital lesson in not getting exploited.

The TikTok creator, who goes by The Unobsolete (@theunobsolete) centers her content around helping people “fight age bias” in the workplace. She explained how she had been “passed over” for a promotion that she had rightfully earned over the past two-and-a-half decades and was instead expected to train someone “fresh out of grad school” who presumably would then do the job for a fraction of the price.


“They expected me to teach her the job they said I wasn’t good enough for.”

The Unobsolete didn’t entertain pleasantries as she flat-out said “no.”

@theunobsolete watched 25-year-old get my promotion then ask me to train her. I said no. Not sorry. Not maybe. Just no. She shocked. Manager furious. HR email about team player. Don’t care. They passed me over for promotion I earned. Gave it to someone with zero experience. Expected me to teach her job they said I wasn’t good enough for. Train my replacement? Pay me. Want 25 years knowledge? Triple salary consulting rates. Want me to smile while you humiliate me? Wrong person. Not your free training program. Not making cheap hire look competent. Not handing over everything so you can pay her half. They said unprofessional. I said appropriately compensated or not sharing. They said not supporting team. I said team didn’t support me. Silence. Second you stop being useful they stop caring. Stop pretending you owe them anything.#promotions #over50 #notateamplayer #genx #isaidno ♬ original sound - The Unobsolete

"I'm not your free training program," she explained. "Want me to smile while you humiliate me? Wrong person." Furthermore, she noted that if she were going to move forward with the training, she would be expecting “triple salary consulting rates” as payment.

While she got reprimanded by HR for not “being a team player,” she maintained her stance that she deserved to be “fairly compensated for her expertise” or she wasn’t sharing it.

"They said [I was] not supporting [the] team. I said [the] team didn’t support me."

She then concluded the video with a word of caution to other folks who might find themselves in similar situations:

"The second you stop being useful, they stop pretending to care. So stop pretending you owe them anything."

With over four million views, the video certainly resonated. People flooded the comments agreeing how real ageism is in the workplace, and commended The Unobsolete for standing her ground.

"Can't be a team player for a team that played you," one person said.

Quite a few shared their own horror stories. One person recalled, "They hired 6 people to replace me and the work I was doing & wanted me to train them. Nope."

Another said, “I was laid off from a job and they said they’d be fine, because I wrote a literal manual on how to do everything for when I was on vacation. First thing I threw in the trash cleaning out my office. They emailed a few days later, asking where it was. I told them.”

In subsequent videos, The Unobsolete shared that while she didn’t get fired outright (for obvious legal reasons), the company had less direct ways of phasing her out. First, a meeting was held to discuss her "attitude.” Then, she was excluded from company functions and given less work. Eventually, she was called into another meeting and told the company's culture might not be a "good fit" for her.

@theunobsolete UPDATE: Refused to train replacement. What happened next I expected. Two days later meeting with manager and HR. My attitude. Not that they passed me over or wanted free labor. My attitude refusing exploitation. They said not collaborative poor leadership need team players. I said you passed me over want free training punish boundaries that’s control not collaboration. Silence. Not willing develop staff maybe not culture fit. I said right. Culture exploiting experience isn’t my fit. Ready for compensation talk? No? Back to my job. Didn’t fire me. Can’t. Lawsuit risk. Instead stopped including meetings gave projects away documented everything performance issues. Managed out playbook. I documented everything back. Every email meeting project. Knew exactly what they were doing. #promotions #isaidno #refused# #over45 #corporatetiktok ♬ original sound - The Unobsolete


"I agree," The Unobsolete apparently said in the meeting. "A culture that exploits experience isn't a fit for me."

Still, she didn’t back down and asked what the severance package she would receive for leaving. Unsurprisingly, that offer started off low with two weeks' worth of pay. The Unobsolete told them she expected six months of pay with full benefits through the end of the year, plus a neutral reference letter, and a release stating that they wouldn’t contest her unemployment.

When the manager said her demands were “unreasonable,” The Unobsolete replied, “So is asking me to train my replacement for free.”

@theunobsolete UPDATE PART 3: Refused train replacement. How it ended. Three weeks managed out documented retaliation. Manager and HR called me in. Don’t think right fit anymore. Best we part ways.#refusedtotrain #notateamplayer #isaidno #over50 #corporatetiktok ♬ original sound - The Unobsolete

“I’ve never been prouder of someone I don’t know,” one viewer wrote.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending. The Unobsolete got her demands met, and with that six months of pay, she was able to build what she “actually wanted.” Furthermore, she learned that not long after she left, the 25-year-old quit the job and the company was left scrambling to fill the position. Talk about karmic justice.

“Turns out, I wasn’t obsolete after all. I was just undervalued. There’s a difference.”

Now, she’s taking what she’s learned to help other experienced professionals protect themselves against being taken advantage of.

“They’re counting on you being afraid…stop being what they’re counting on.”

That’s useful advice for anyone, no matter what age they are.

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Aerial view of man mowing his lawn

There is a particular kind of frustration that comes with being told how to mow your own lawn. Not whether the grass is too long, not whether the edges need trimming, but the specific direction your lawnmower needs to travel. For the man behind the TikTok account @rootedlawnco, that was apparently the line.

His HOA had instructed him to mow only in straight lines. So he did. Sort of.


In a video that has been bouncing around TikTok with the caption "Take that HOA," he methodically mows his lawn in long, flowing, perfectly symmetrical waves. The result is gorgeous: a sea of alternating light and dark grass bands that roll across the yard like something off a golf course or a baseball field. He even varies the cut depth on alternating passes to give it a color shift, which makes the whole thing pop even more from a distance. The text overlay on the video reads, "When HOA tells you only straight lines." His face, for what it's worth, is extremely unbothered.

@rootedlawnco

Take that HOA!! #mowing #stripes #hoa #lawncare #mowing

In a follow-up video, he shared an aerial shot of the lawn covered in sand: "POV: You can't go to the beach, so you bring the waves to you."

@rootedlawnco

Surfs up 🤙🏽 What do you think of the wavey stripes? Pretty sure @Chase has these trade marked by now. #stripes #waves #lawnstripes #beforeandafter #reelmower #allettmowers #greengrass🌱 #dronevideo


The comments landed exactly where you'd expect. "Tell them you have astigmatism and this is straight," wrote @nowherenothin. @spiderlover74 added, "No way they're trying to control the direction you mow your lawn." One commenter, @caffeinatedpossum, offered a legal-ish read on the situation: "HOAs have legal rights to control the aesthetic of your grass, but there's no legal standard for them to control cutting patterns as the cutting pattern is semantic." (That's one interpretation, though HOA rules vary widely by state and governing documents, so your mileage may vary on that one.)

The broader frustration behind the video is real and well documented. A survey conducted by Rocket Mortgage found that 57% of HOA homeowners dislike having one, and more than 3 in 10 feel their HOA has too much power. A separate YouGov poll found that most Americans actually oppose HOA rules specifically around landscaping, with more people against those restrictions than in favor of them. And yet, 38% of HOA residents think their HOA is too restrictive, with rules about yard signs, fences, and landscaping among the most contested.

It's worth saying that HOAs were not invented to tell people which direction to push their lawnmower. The idea was originally to maintain shared spaces and protect property values. But there's a gap between that intention and the reality of a board with the authority to regulate the pattern of someone's grass, and that gap is where videos like this one get millions of views.

In yet another video, he openly disregards the HOA's rules against using sand to level his yard: "POV: When the HOA says no sand, but you did it anyway..."

@rootedlawnco

Yep, the HOA will be all over me for this one! Got a bumpy lawn? Check out my 4 part mini series on You Tube and learn all you need to know in under 10 minutes. Mowing is super enjoyable but mowing a smooth lawn is literally the best thing! I need to do this to my back lawn pretty badly. Maybe this Fall I will. #level #leveling #bumpy #Lawn #diy #lawntips #compost #sand #topsoil #smooth #HOA

There is something deeply satisfying about a response that is simultaneously fully compliant and completely defiant. He did not fight the rule. He did not post an angry letter or file a complaint. He just made something beautiful out of the constraint, posted it to TikTok, and let the rest of us enjoy it.

The lawn looks incredible, for the record.

You can follow @rootedlawnco on TikTok for more content on home decor and lifestyle.