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Nine things new parents think they need and the more practical alternatives.

No, you actually don't need a 'pee pee teepee.'

new parents; baby; newborn; baby items
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Things new parents think they need but don't.

There's nothing like preparing for a new baby. The excitement and anticipation take hold and before you know what's happening, your baby registry is five pages long full of things you've probably never heard of. I've been there before, and now, four kids later, I can tell you with absolute certainty that there are tons of things you actually don't need. It's easy to get carried away when everything is so tiny and cute, especially 'cause marketing around baby stuff is bananas. The following offers some alternative items to the ones you'll likely only use a limited number of times before practicality takes over.


Many of us have been there, standing in the baby aisle looking like we're smuggling an oddly shaped beach ball under our now-too-small maternity shirt contemplating between the many styles of pacifiers and different types of bottles. You'd be forgiven for spending an insane amount of money on bottles shaped like a deflated spaceship that guarantee your baby will never burp, when two weeks after they're born you find out your baby actually prefers the $0.98 ones from Walmart. Figuring out what you really need is tricky enough, so let me help you out. Hold on to your bellies or shiny new babies folks, this list might blow your mind.

Baby wipes.

Baby wipes from Amazon

1. Put the Pee Pee Teepee down and back away slowly.

Aside from the word "teepee" being highly inappropriate for non-Indigenous people to use, you can go ahead and take this bad boy off your baby registry. If you're not familiar with a "pee pee teepee," it's a cone-shaped item that goes on top of your little guy's business so he doesn't accidentally pee in his eyes or on the unsuspecting diaper changer. Here's the thing, baby wipes or a baby washcloth work just as well. When my boys were little I'd just throw a wipe over their baby business while I changed the diaper, and once the dirty diaper was off, it's easy to toss the used wipe in before trashing the diaper. Easy peasy and it's one less thing to put on your list.

Disposable diaper bags.

Disposable diaper bags from Amazon

2. Diaper Genies are unnecessary and it's easy to forget they exist.

I had such high hopes for my Diaper Genie as a first-time mom. They're so cool, you shove a dirty diaper in there and twist. That's it. It locks in the odor and makes a weird-looking segmented snake of dirty diapers. Alas, when your diaper pail is in one room and you're changing a diaper on a wiggly baby in another, most times the diaper just winds up in the closest trash can. So just buy some small cheap trash cans to put in different rooms and then empty them at the end of the day. There's only so much odor a diaper genie can hold and they only take special expensive trash bags. Save your money. Get some small trash cans and those little smell good bags to toss the smelly diapers.

Receiving blankets.

Receiving blankets from Amazon

3. You can buy a swaddler but you don't actually need it.

I know this might be a controversial statement, but honestly those swaddlers are really expensive and babies quickly outgrow them. You can do the perfect swaddle with a receiving blanket for a fraction of the price and just as much energy. You know how babies come all bundled up when the nurse brings them in from the nursery? Yeah, that's a really good swaddle that will give your snuggle bug the same coziness as an expensive swaddler.

Portable baby formula dispenser.

Portable baby formula dispenser from Amazon

4. You don't have to be fancy and get a Baby Brezza.

Honestly, I had never heard of a Baby Brezza until I had my youngest, so I'm assuming its a newer invention. They're certainly cool and also really expensive and unnecessary. These little doodads are like baby Keurigs but for formula. They hold powdered formula and water, you press a button and it supposedly perfectly mixes up a warm bottle of sustenance. The price tag on these things are about the same as a larger much more needed baby item, like a car seat-stroller combo. There have also been some concerns raised by pediatricians due to some bottles not getting enough formula added.

Take the guesswork out of it and just fill the bottles by hand. You can even put water in the bottles in advance and leave them out at room temperature and use a portable formula container to put premeasured scoops in. I know it's no Baby Brezza, but you'll be $200 richer and know exactly how much formula is going into your baby's bottle.

Bottle drying rack.

Bottle drying rack from Amazon

5. Your baby doesn't need fake grass to dry their bottles on.

Don't laugh, a fake grass bottle dryer is something that actually once sat on my kitchen counter. That's about all it did because I dang sure didn't use it for more than the first week. When you're sleep deprived, you want the easiest thing available and oftentimes that's the top rack of the dishwasher or the dish rack that's already on your countertop. The things we get suckered into buying is laughable sometimes. Besides it being esthetically pleasing, you don't actually need it and a regular bottle rack, in fact, works better because there are no removable trees holding the nipples.

Receiving blankets.

Receiving blankets from Amazon

6. Side eye anyone that says you need embroidered burp cloths.

Don't fall for it. Yes, purpose-made burp cloths can be super cute but they're literally used to catch baby puke. These things are too small to cover the area needed to prevent your back and shoulder from becoming a casualty of a little guy eating too fast. Remember those receiving blankets we talked about earlier? Yeah, they are much more absorbent and cover more of your body to spare you having to change clothes. Those flannel blankets are versatile. You can use them for swaddling, to cover a car seat or stroller, for burp cloths or even a clean area to change the baby on. There's no such thing as too many receiving blankets. I'll make it easy for you, grab a pack here.

NoseFrida.

NoseFrida from Amazon

7. Skip the bulb syringe and splurge on the NoseFrida.

The hospital will give you a useless bulb syringe that only the nurses know how to work, because I swear no matter how hard you squeeze the bulb you barely get anything out. Bulb syringes even come with many newborn essential sets. I'm sure they work, but they seem to take way too much effort for the little bit of mucus they pull out. Get the NoseFrida—yes, it's a little more expensive but it's worth it, even though it seems gross. I promise the hygiene filter that goes in the tube will spare you from getting baby boogers in your mouth. You can literally use that thing well into the toddler years until your little one learns to blow their nose. Can't speak highly enough of this thing and here's a link to it here.

Pack 'n' Play

Basic Pack 'n' Play from Amazon

8. Do you really need a Pack 'n' Play that turns into a rocket ship?

OK, maybe it doesn't turn into a rocket ship but some of those things are so outrageous that you might need to be a rocket scientist to put it together. Pack 'n' Plays are really convenient and a great investment for new parents, especially if you like to travel or have family out of state. You can use it so your baby can sleep in your bedroom until you're ready for the switch to sleeping away from your little one. Just try not to get distracted by all the bells and whistles and stick to the basics. A Pack 'n' Play with a bassinet is really all you need. It's much cheaper and you'll use the bassinet piece much longer than the ones that come with other parts.

Teething rings.

Teething rings from Amazon

9. Expensive teething jewelry is overrated.

Fancy teething jewelry is cute and has become quite popular lately, but babies don't really need it. They are perfectly happy with the normal water-filled teething rings or rubber ones that can be thrown in any diaper bag. They're tried and true, plus they're designed specifically for teething. While the jewelry is marketed for teething babies, doctors have warned that they're not safe enough to use for that purpose. Besides, having a baby is expensive enough, no need to add to it when you can pick up teething rings at just about any store for a reasonable price.

The idea that everything for babies has to be the most expensive top-of-the-line things is just marketing. When it comes down to it, babies need very basic things: a safe place to sleep, food, diapers and lots of love. Everything else is extra and you can be as extra as you'd like but it should never feel like it's a necessity. Your baby will love you whether you have the Baby Brezza or mix their bottles by hand, promise.


This article originally appeared on 9.16.22

If you see a man and two dogs, look again.

Optical illusions are wild. The way our brains perceive what our eyes see can be way off base, even when we're sure about what we're looking at. Plenty of famous optical illusions have been created purposefully, from the Ames window that appears to be moving back and forth when it's actually rotating 360 degrees, to the spiral image that makes Van Gogh's "Starry Night" look like it's moving.

But sometimes optical illusions happen by accident. Those ones are even more fun because we know they aren't a result of someone trying to trick our brains. Our brains do the tricking all by themselves.

The popular Massimo account on X shared a photo that appears to be a person and two dogs in the snow. The more you look at it, the more you see just that—two dogs and someone who is presumably their owner. Turn the photo every which way and it's still the same conclusion. That's a person and two dogs, right?

 

But there are not two dogs in the photo. There are actually three dogs in this picture. Can you see the third?

Full confession time: I didn't see it at first. Not even when someone explained that the "human" is actually a dog. My brain couldn't see anything but a person with two legs, dressed all in black, with a furry hat and some kind of furry stole or jacket. My brain definitely did not see a black poodle, which is what the "person" actually is.

Are you looking at the photo and trying to see it, totally frustrated? The big hint is that the poodle is looking toward the camera. The "hat" on the "person" is the poodle's poofy tail, and the "scarf/stole" is the poodle's head.

Once you see it, it fairly clear, but for many of us, our brains did not process it until it was explicitly drawn out. This outline helps somewhat:

 

As one person explained, the black fur hides the contours and shadows, so all our brains take in is the outline, which looks very much like a person facing away from us.

People's reactions to the optical illusion were hilarious. One person wrote, "10 years later: I still see two dogs and a man."

 

Another person wrote, "I agree with ChatGPT :)" and shared a screenshot of the infamous AI chatbot describing the photo as having a person in the foreground. Even when asked, "Could the 'person' be another dog?" ChatGPT said it's possible, but not likely. Ha.

 

One reason we love optical illusions is that they remind us just how very human we are. Unlike a machine that takes in and spits out data, our brains perceive and interpret what our senses bring in—a quality that has helped us through our evolution. But the way our brains piece things together isn't perfect. Even ChatGPT's response is merely a reflection of our human imperfections at perception being mirrored back at us. They say seeing is believing, but when what we interpret what we're seeing incorrectly, we end up believing things that might not be real.

Sure is fun to play with how our brains work, though. Also a good reminder that what we think we see, even with our own eyes, may not be an accurate picture of reality.

This article originally appeared last year.

Parenting

Dad hears stepson tell his mom to 'chill.' His calm but firm response is causing a stir.

"We believe in consequences for our kids in addition to conversations. 💛"

@raisingmaletich /Instagram (with permission)

Parents Katie and Dustin (@raisingmaletich) are going viral for sharing a vulnerable parenting situation.

Being a parent is not an easy job, especially when it comes to discipline. But an Oregon couple with four kids, Katie and Dustin (@raisingmaletich) is going viral for sharing a video of a vulnerable parenting moment they had with their son.

In the video, their young son can be heard telling his mom Katie to "chill" after being told he can't use her phone. The comment is heard by his stepdad, Dustin. Immediately, Dustin makes it known that it is okay. Dustin asks his young stepson if he did in fact tell his mom to "chill". And when he replies 'yes', Dustin asks him to start doing pushups (and to "count 'em"). After doing 10, he says Dustin, "How many? I can't do anymore." Dustin replies, "Keep going." He hits 14 reps, and Dustin encourages him to do 2 more, telling him that he can do it.

Once he hit 16 reps, Dustin tells him to stand up to do a series of squats. After he finishes up his squats, Dustin asks him, "Do we tell our mom to chill out?" Their son replies, "No," and Dustin adds, "Absolutely not. I will not let you talk to her like that. I wouldn't let anyone else talk to her like that, so you don't get to talk to her like that, okay?"

After this, Dustin opens his arms to hug him, and their son walks towards Katie as he says, "Sorry, mom." Katie says, "Thank you, buddy." And Dusting tells him, "Hey. I love you," before he goes to him for another hug and a kiss on the head.

"I will never stop being grateful to be raising kids with a real man who knows how to be a father, especially to his boys. This is masculinity," they wrote in the video's caption, with more detail about what led to the scenario. "I was trying to send a work email while making breakfast for my family and my son kept asking me to use my phone after I had repeatedly told him 'no, you need to wait.' His dad overheard him tell me to 'chill' and here is how he handled it."

 

The video went viral, with many viewers showing support for how both Dustin and Katie handled the situation. "That’s a great dad right there. Calm, collected and knows how to do a punishment and still show compassion to his child," one commented. Another supportive viewer pointed out, "my favorite part is watching his sister rest her head on Daddy even while he’s mid-discipline! yes it is funny sibling behavior, but more than anything it speaks to Dad’s character. this is a home where everyone feels safe, and because of that, because there’s no yelling, hitting, cursing, etc, all the children can now benefit and learn by witnessing this. TERRIFIC parenting!!!"

Others praised Katie for not interjecting. "My favorite part is the the mom letting the dad BE A DAD," one wrote.

One viewer was curious if the couple would use the same style of discipline with their daughters, asking, "What’s the equivalent discipline for girls? Same thing?" And they responded, "Pretty much the same :) sometimes our girls require a bit of extra verbal communication and some extra extra tenderness 💛."

However, many viewers criticized the couple's handling of discipline with exercise. One viewer commented, "Yes, but don’t use exercise and forms of self improvement as punishments." Another added, "I love the words, but he’s at risk of teaching his kid that exercise is punishment and something you HAVE to do when you’ve done something wrong. That said, it’s a perfect example of why boys need a good male role model in their lives too." And another commented, "He doesn’t need to be humiliated… a conversation would solve the problem. He’s not in the army… I’d hate if my husband did that to my boy."

To address concerns and elaborate further about why they are okay with using physical exercise to discipline, the couple created a follow-up video.

 

In the video, Dustin says that he addressed his stepson's behavior in a "stern and immediate way", before addressing how they believed the pushups and squats would not later make their son associate physical exercise with punishment. "We both don’t really like the term 'punishment' and much prefer to describe any parental corrections as a disciplinary consequence. We aren’t perfect at it but our main goal in parenting is to always be intentional and not reactionary," they wrote in the video's caption.

The couple was asked if they had permission from their son to share the video with their followers. "we absolutely talked with him about it before we shared it and made sure he was completely okay with it," they wrote in the comments. "He was, in fact he was really excited to share it. Asks me every day how many views it has now haha. We have ring security cameras inside our house and that’s how the footage was captured :)."

Viewers expressed their thoughts once again. "You also hugged him and told him you loved him! GREAT JOB DAD👏👏👏👏👏," while another wrote, "Physical exercise gives him a chance to collect himself and burn off energy. Always a good move 💪."

Other had contradicting views. "I would keep the punishment shorter like 5 push ups and go… you want him to get the message… that’s it…" Another shared, "It's not even that you did had him do push ups, it's that he said he couldn't do anymore, and you told him to continue. My son truly enjoys working out because I've never used it as a form of punishment for him. How about you f*cking talk to your kid."

Katie also shared another follow-up video about criticism she received for not stepping in during her husband's discipling.

 

Katie says in the video, "Why wouldn't I let him step in and be the authority figure that I need him to be in order to raise strong, confident, good kids? I could not imagine not respecting him enough to not let him step in and be 'dad' in the way that he feels he needs to be."

And viewers shared their thoughts in the video's comment section. "It’s apparent that you guys act as a team and not as competitors 👏," one wrote, while another added, "It’s not necessarily the Mom 'letting' him step in. I admire you for not taking over but I have much respect for him stepping up and taking that role. Most men look the other way and force Mom to be the disciplinarian. I love that you two parent together and not against each other. ❤️"

Other viewers disagreed. "Shame on you. You both have taught him to be fearful of the dad and that's all that's been taught," one wrote. And another also added, "That’s a very immature comment. U could have achieved the same result of 'respect' with out fear and intimidation. Do better!"

Cecily Knobler

A woman sings "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac at karaoke.

On a hot Sunday in July, Carole Wade took the mic at a Dallas senior living facility where my mom lives. I happened to be visiting for the karaoke event, and the list of residents who couldn't wait to put their stamps on their favorite tunes was so long, the event had to be extended. ABBA's "Mamma Mia," David Lee Roth's "Just a Gigolo"—you name it, they sang it.

When it was Wade's turn, the microphone was brought to her table. She took it in her hands as though it was an extension of her fingers as the music cued up. Then, as she began to effortlessly sing "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, the room got still. Frozen. All eyes were on her, and most of those eyes were wet. The lyrics, so beautifully fitting:

"Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder,
Even children get older,
I'm getting old too."

A man sitting at our table took notice of how emotional I had become. He leaned over to say, "Never stop feeling the music."

I had the honor of chatting with Wade, who at 85, has been singing nearly her whole life. She got started in the business as a backup singer in Elvis impersonator groups in Dallas and surrounding areas. In and out of bands, playing Deep Ellum clubs and local hotels, she shares, "I've been singing since I was a small child. I've loved music all my life."

As luck would have it, she was at a jam session when she started harmonizing with other musicians. They would soon form her most recent band, Psychedelic Oatmeal. They officially stopped playing gigs when she was in her 70s, but they remain close. (She notes her bandmates were all much younger.)

 bands, carole wade, music, old friends, singer Carole and her band mates.Carole Wade

They covered classic rock tunes from Stevie Nicks, The Eagles, Janis Joplin, and Led Zeppelin. Songs like "Me and Bobby McGee," "Seven Bridges Road," and "Whole Lotta Love." She laughs that most of the men in the band couldn't hit those Zeppelin high notes made famous by Robert Plant, so she took on the challenge—with great success.

They even branded themselves at gigs, making little Ziploc bags of oatmeal and glitter, which they would throw to the audience at shows. That is, until a club owner asked them to stop, as the oatmeal was mixing with spilled drinks, "creating goo."

Rare footage of Psychedelics Oatmeal.

  The band Psychedelic Oatmeal plays in Dallas.  www.youtube.com  

Wade makes clear that music is her therapy. "If you're down on a certain day, it will bring you up." She has lived a full life, with two grown sons who are both excelling in life. But music, and the friends with whom she makes it, brings her that extra piece of joy and purpose.

Michael Hatcher, the Resident Services Director at The Reserve at North Dallas (the senior facility in which this event was held), has seen firsthand how music soothes seniors. It reconnects them to their purest selves, no matter how hazy their memories might become. Hatcher shares, "They remember the music, and the time. It's a vessel for anyone of age. It can be used to bring someone out of the deepest sun-downing and back to life."

A man sings "Just a Gigolo" at The Reserve karaoke day.

@cdk213

Senior living karaoke! Fabulous! #seniorlivingcommunity #justagigalo #dallas

There is much research to support this. Bannerhealth.com quotes music therapy coordinator Tammy Reiver for Banner Hospice in Phoenix: "Music holds the power to increase dopamine levels (happy hormones), decrease symptoms of depression and pain, and improve a person’s quality of life. Pleasing music plays an important role at every age, but for aging adults, the benefits are even greater.”

As for Wade? She jokes that she and a few other musicians at the senior home have plans to start their own band. She certainly has the chops for it—and the fans.

Health

Understanding your 'social battery' life is a great way to know when (or when not) to go out

Some people's batteries go forever, others are like an old laptop.

A woman lying on a table at a party hat.

One of the big ways in which people differ—but we don’t talk about very much—is their social stamina. Some people love being around others morning, noon, and night. While others show up to a party at seven p.m. and quietly slip out the front door at nine. Although it’s not an official medical term, therapists like to call this the “social battery,” and we can all benefit from learning how often ours need to recharge to avoid running on empty.

What is a social battery?

Introverts and extroverts have very different social batteries. Extroverts have full batteries that take a long time to wind down. Introverts have smaller batteries that lose their charge quickly, so they have to be careful about how they plan their social interactions and who they spend their time with.

One isn’t better than the other, but it’s essential to learn where we stand on the social stamina spectrum so that we can get the most out of our social engagements. It’s important to connect with people, but if you have limited resources to devote to social situations, you must be intentional with how you spend your time.

This is what happens when a husband and wife are at a wedding and they both have very different battery lives.

@justice_777

She usually the one ready to go. #weddingtiktok #weddingday #bridetok #fatherofthebride #dadsoftiktok #dadjokes #weddingvibes #socialbutterfly #introvert #extrovert

What are some signs your social battery is running low?

  • You feel weary
  • You’re less interested in talking to people than you were before
  • You’d like to be in a quiet, familiar place
  • You’re ready to retreat into your inner world of books or creativity
  • You’re overwhelmed by crowds or excess noise

Here’s what it looks like when someone with a low social battery throws a party.

@jordan_the_stallion8

#fyp @Aimy Avila

How to socialize without draining your battery

Mental health advocate Kyrus Keenan Westcott says that with a little planning in advance, people with low social batteries can get the most out of social functions.

1. Prioritize Meaningful Interactions: Spend time with those who uplift you, minimize time with those who are draining.

2. Create a Comfortable Space: If you’re hosting an event, create a place for you to relax and recharge during the event so that you can return to it with more battery life.

3. Set Clear Boundaries: If you need to leave at a set time or are feeling drained, don’t let anyone force you to stay.

4. Balance Social and Alone Time: Make sure to schedule enough time for yourself to recharge in between social events.

Ultimately, taking a good look at how your social battery functions can be a big help when planning your weekend or how you interact with coworkers. You’ll want to make sure that you spend the right amount of time on meaningful interactions, so you don’t waste your time on people and activities that aren’t fulfilling. It’s also great to understand your battery so that when it does feel low, you don’t feel bad that you’re being antisocial. You’ve just given all you can to the people who truly matter in your life.

@jonas_sjv/TikTok

Just when you thought this song couldn't get any more iconic.

Even if you’ve never seen one single episode of Law & Order in your entire life, you’ll undoubtedly recognize its theme song. And now, there’s a viral TikTok dance every bit as iconic as the theme song itself.

A dancer named Stephon Vann (@jonas_sjv) got together with his crew and came up with a truly epic line dance, perfectly punctuating every ‘dun-dun,’ drumbeat and guitar riff with signature moves and smooth shuffles.

Once you watch it, it's easy to see why this has taken the Internet by storm with over 13 millions views (and counting)!

 
 @jonas_sjv DC: ME brought friends and Michael @bee @Itsdevarian @Murky @Bethany @Spaidtheway #lawandordersvu #dundun #viral #fyp ♬ The Theme of Law & Order - Mike Post 
 
 

SO SATISFYING. Right?!

The comments it inspired (many L&O-themed) were just icing on the pop culture cake:

“The people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The dancers who slay and the dancers who eat. These are their stories.”

“Law and Order ‘Special Dance Unit.”

“Fighting crime one dance at a time. Law and Order the musical coming soon.”

This is why I par for internet.”

“Awa & Hours d’oeuvres bc y’all ATE.”

“‘This is what the law looks like’ 😂😂😂”

“It just occurred to me that THIS is what my body wants to do during the intro. Than you for demonstrating.”

“We about to start doig the Law and Order dance at all the gatherings, parties, weddings, etc. 😂😂😂😂.”

“…I did NOT have dancing to the Law and Order theme song on my bingo card.”

“Bro, Imma need part two when you hit that saxophone.”

It wasn’t long before others began recreating the routine. It even appeared at a WNBA game. Nothing like watching an elephant mascot do these moves.

This catchy, just-dark-and-eerie-enough tune has been synonymous with Law & Order since the show’s 1990 debut, and was created by famed television composer Mike Post—the man behind other hit TV themes like the original Quantum Leap and Magnum, P.I., as well as countless other well-known crime procedurals of the time period besides L&O.

In an interview with the Television Academy Foundation, Post shared that he read the pilot and loved it, but still asked show creator Dick Wolf for guidance on what was needed. Wolf’s answer? “Write some music that defines NYC.” Post then created the slick, gritty, neo-noir tune we all know and love.

Wolf later asked Post to come up with a “special” sound for when the scenes changed and title cards appeared. Though Post felt this was more a job for the sound effects team, he nonetheless obliged. And thus, the legendary “dun dun” sound, aka “the Clang,” was born. According to the That’s a Trademark blog, it’s actually comprised of several different sound samples including a jail door slamming, a hammer hitting an anvil, different drum noises, and 500 Japanese men stomping their feet on a wooden floor, just to name a few.

Over the past three-and-a-half decades, the instantly recognizable theme song has been referenced or parodied in other shows.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  


 
 @movieclips Law & Order Song - Ted 2 (2015) - TM & © #UniversalPictures Ted (Seth McFarlane) and John (Mark Wahlberg) sing the Law & Order theme song. Click the link in bio to watch the full movie. #ted #tedmovie #ted2 #sethmacfarlane #markwahlberg #milakunis #movieclips ♬ original sound - Movieclips 
 
 

And now, the theme song breathes new life once more. Best get to learning those steps!