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Parents with teens can't help but relate to mom's heartbreaking video about 'summer guilt'

It's a special kind of grief almost all parents experience at some point.

moms, motherhood, teens, summer activities, summer
@cyndygdub/TikTok

Lots of parents felt this way, without having a name for it.

When you have kids, summers are a flurry of activities. Going to amusement parks and zoos, playing outside, eating ice cream—lots and lots of ice cream.

And then, the preteen years hit and all that changes. Suddenly a kid’s interest shifts. They spend less time hanging with the fam and more hanging with friends, or alone. Though this transition is natural, it can still be painful for parents and make them feel like they’re not doing enough to evoke that same kind of magic the season once held.

As Cyndy Gatewood’s three children have all entered teen and preteen chapters, she began to feel this particular kind of pain, which she called “summer guilt.”

In a now-viral TikTok, Gatewood described summer guilt as "the guilt that comes when you have teens and preteens during the summer, and you're home with them, but they're too old to go to a playground everyday … and now they just want to be in their rooms. And it's like, should I be doing something? Should I be taking them somewhere everyday? But when I ask them … they don't want to."

“I still have that constant guilt that I’m not doing enough. That their summer’s being wasted,” she says, and these feelings only get exacerbated when she sees other families with younger kids enjoying themselves on social media.

Though she knows that this shame is something she’s putting on herself, Gatewood still asked if there were other parents out there who would relate. And boy, could they.


@cyndygdub My kids are 14 and under and the transition from little kids to big kids can be hard on us parents #fyp #motherhood #teens #parenthood #summer #momguilt #preteens #kids ♬ Backsound Puisi - Audiolist Productions


“The teen transition is so hard. It’s hard to bring them joy now, used to be so easy,” one parent lamented.

Another wrote, “My heart broke when my son stopped wanting to go explore the new parks.”

A few folks chimed in to reassure that just because teens preferred to be in their room, it didn’t have to mean that summer was wasted. In fact, that solitude could also contain some pretty wonderful memories.

“I still remember so clearly being a teenager and my favorite thing in the world was being in my room on my own doing my own thing. Don’t feel guilty, it’s healthy to spend time on your own. They don’t need to be busy, to be doing something every moment of every day,” one person wrote.

Another added, “...then I remember my own teenage years, and I know how peaceful I was in my room. I had my first Walkman, listened to music, translated the lyrics, read books. It didn’t feel like a waste of summer.”

Many reflected that perhaps the root emotion Gatewood was feeling wasn’t guilt, but grief. As one person put it, “It’s more like grieving a life that you no longer have which you recall was the best time of your life. And it’s nothing you did wrong and nothing you can do to preserve it.”

By opening up about her feelings, Gatewood told Good Morning America that countless people have commented to thank her for putting this very relatable situation into tangible words.

"It makes me emotional, because it really is such a beautiful thing when we can open up about our struggles, especially as parents, and find out that we're not alone in these feelings,” she shared.

And since sharing her video, Gatewood has seemed to take on a more nuanced perspective on this new parenting chapter.

"It's a beautiful thing to watch your kids grow up. But we have to evolve with that. And that's what I'm learning right now.”

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.


“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.


sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se


Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

The generational caption debate is a big deal.

If you’re a Gen Xer or older, one surprising habit the younger generations developed is their love of subtitles or closed-captioning while watching TV. To older generations, closed-captioning was only for grandparents, the hearing impaired, or when watching the news in a restaurant or gym.

But these days, studies show that Millenials and Gen Z are big fans of captions and regularly turn them on when watching their favorite streaming platforms. A recent study found that more than half of Gen Z and Millenials prefer captions on when watching television. It’s believed that their preference for subtitles stems from the ubiquity of captioning on social media sites such as TikTok or Instagram.

This generational change perplexed TikTokker, teacher and Gen X mother, Kelly Gibson.

Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

@gibsonishere

Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

"I have three daughters, and they were here. Two of them are young millennials; the other one is an older Gen Z," Gibson explained in a video with over 400,000 views. "All of them were like, 'Why don't you have the captions on?'”

The mother couldn’t believe that her young kids preferred to watch TV like her grandparents. It just did not compute.

"My Gen X butt was shocked to find out that these young people have decided it's absolutely OK to watch movies with the captions going the whole time," she said jokingly.

But like a good mother, Gibson asked her girls why they preferred to watch TV with captioning, and their reason was straightforward. With subtitles, it’s easier not to lose track of the dialog if people in the room start talking.

"They get more out of it," Gibson explained. "If somebody talks to them in the middle of the show, they can still read and get what's going on even if they can't hear clearly. Why are young people so much smarter than us?"

At the end of the video, Gibson asked her followers whether they watch TV with subtitles on or off. "How many of you out there that are Millennials actually do this? And how many of you Gen Xers are so excited that this is potentially an option?" she asked.

Gibson received over 8,400 responses to her question, and people have a lot of different reasons for preferring to watch TV with captions.

“Millennial here. I have ADHD along with the occasional audio processing issues. I love captions. Also, sometimes I like crunchy movie snacks,” Jessileemorgan wrote. “We use the captions because I (GenX) hate the inability of the movie makers to keep sound consistent. Ex: explosions too loud conversation to quiet,” Lara Lytle added.

“My kids do this and since we can’t figure out how to turn it off when they leave, it’s become a staple. GenX here!” Kelly Piller wrote.

The interesting takeaway from the debate is that anti-caption people often believe that having writing on the screen distracts them from the movie. They’re too busy reading the bottom of the screen to feel the film's emotional impact or enjoy the acting and cinematography. However, those who are pro-caption say that it makes the film easier to understand and helps them stay involved with the film when there are distractions.

So who’s right? The person holding the remote.


This article originally appeared in January.

Photo by Afif Kusuma on Unsplash

Roommates—can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.

Almost everyone past college age has lived with a roommate at least once. Whether that experience plays out like a buddy comedy, a rom-com or, in some cases, a horror story, it likely leaves a lasting memory. Roommates often expose us to lifestyles outside of our own comfort zone. That can often be a good thing—it’s healthy to open ourselves up to new interests. Other times … well, not so much. Especially when that comes to differing expectations of cleanliness, incoming guests, sleep times, paying bills, having pets … you get the picture.

Having a roommate can also be a person’s first foray into having to share space with another person, especially for those who didn’t grow up with siblings. Happy only child here—I can say firsthand that this was quite an uncomfortable adjustment. Like, how do you just sit on the couch questioning your life choices while ANOTHER person sits there? No one can live like that, I tell you.

Reddit user u/chee-koo asked folks to share their most “interesting” roommate stories, and some were just too good not to pass along. The best part is that many answers were surprisingly wholesome. And hey, even the most outrageous stories were, in their own way, kind of relatable.

Having a roommate can be one of life’s more awkward adventures, but it’s a fairly universal one. They always come with unexpected surprises. But if we’re lucky, it’ll make for a great story.

Enjoy 11 of the most “interesting” roomie stories Reddit had to offer:

1.

“My South Korean roommate in college played StarCraft welllll into the night. It cured my insomnia. Listening to a game in a language I didn't understand was very soothing, apparently, and I went from taking 3-4 hours a night to fall asleep (if I would at all) to falling asleep within 30 seconds of laying my head down.” – @truthinlies

2.

My roommate once created a whole new life form by leaving beans in the fridge until they molded so bad they became pure white. Then she got mad when I threw it away because she was going to use it later.” – @Shadowo948

3.

My roommate in college claimed he was involved with the mafia. He was constantly sweaty, was very jumpy, and always had a lot of cash in his car. He never was around on the weekends, and I never saw him drink. Strangest of all, is that he never once slept in his room. He was always on the couch by the door. He eventually told me that it was because if someone ever broke in looking for him, he wanted ‘them’ to find him right away, so no one else would get hurt. I still don't know if he was telling the truth but nonetheless I ALWAYS locked my bedroom door at night.” – @DrLandingStrip

talking to a roommate

Yeah … no.

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4.

I had to teach someone what an acceptable price for everyday groceries are. She had never done a day of grocery shopping in her life and I was astonished when she came back with a relatively smallish loaf of bread that cost over £7 and she thought that was a reasonable price, among other things such as gourmet beef etc. She spent around £80-90 for her first week of food shopping for herself at uni, and complained to me about how it didn't look like her maintenance loans were going to cover her food shopping. Nowadays she is better at getting deals for food than I am.” – @TinralRogue

5.

My freshman year college roommate was a random pairing. This kid partied all night and slept all day. He goes MIA for like a week. I call my mom because I’m not sure he’s even alive. She searches to see if he has been arrested. Before she can call me back the cops are knocking at our door and ask ‘have you seen ___’ and I say’no’. Mom calls me back a few minutes later, he had been booked for robbery at a convenience store which was in our dorm building! He tried to hide in an air vent…he made the front page of the campus newspaper, was expelled and I got the whole dorm to myself for the rest of the fall & spring semester.” – @Rich_2

6.

“I married my Craigslist roommate! We met 11 years ago, have lived together since the day we met, and finally got married a year ago. And we're just as in love as we were in 2012. How's that for positive!?” – @sagelface

how to find a roommate

From Craigslist to marriage—wow.

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7.

“I had a roommate that became very... susceptible to suggestions when he would first fall asleep. And he wouldn't remember anything he did the next morning. One time, we woke him up and told him that his girlfriend had stolen his shoes. He jumped out of bed, went to the landline phone (yeah, I was in college 20 years ago), called up his girlfriend and accused her of stealing his shoes. We were all dying laughing at this time. She blew him off, and after he hung up, he went into the kitchen. When he came back, he was holding two brownies, and had the saddest look on his face. ‘Look, my girlfriend burnt up my shoes. I'll never be able to wear them again.’ He placed them next to his bed, and then went back to sleep.” – @WalmartGreder

8.

“We met when we showed up for dorm room assignments our freshman year of college. Almost 50 years later, we're still the closest of friends. I recently attended his daughter's wedding. A grand affair, because he happens to be uber-wealthy. At one point I found myself choking up, and it wasn't for the bride and groom, it was for John and me. How far we've come from that first awkward handshake a half century ago.” – @Scrappy_Larue

9.

I’m pretty sure I used to live with a hobbit. Man about 5'1", curly brown hair, constantly cheerful demeanor. Never wore shoes, inside or out. Literally slept on the floor in what can only be explained as a nest of blankets. Started a garden and encouraged me to eat his tomatoes all the time. Would bring home samosas and other goodies, always giving me half just because. He and his wife had a dream of living off the grid in a tiny home on a truck.” – @Opposite_Lettuce

roommate advice

With a Hobbit roommate, you'll never go hungry.

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10.

“One of my roommates used to sleepwalk and sleep talk almost every night and I was the only one who'd be awake whenever it would happen. I'd witness her cleaning our fridge, stealing our opened bag of chips, and I'd hear her quote Shakespeare in her sleep. Whenever I ask her if she recalled any of it, the answer was always ‘no.’” – @bbbonjh3ng

11.

“I once had a roommate for about 5 years who was literally (not figuratively) a genius and also an insanely good person. She built a 3D printer from scratch in our living room before 3D printers were a thing anyone could purchase, and she did it just for lolz. She also built a ‘Hackintosh’ for me because I needed more bandwidth/ space/ whatever, than what Apple, Inc. offered. She also made traditional bagels from scratch…and the best m*therfucking cheesecake I have ever tasted in my whole entire life (also from scratch). She is a unicorn, and we are still the best of friends, though we no longer live together. I have absolutely no regrets. If people still exchanged friendship bracelets or rings, the gems I would put on hers could be captured photogenically via satellites from deep space. This Earth, universe etc. doesn’t deserve her. Not sure what dimension does, honestly. I am just proud to call her friend.” – @Channon-Yarrow

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Education

Mom shares how her first grader's homework on the second day of school broke his spirit

"It's breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Photo credit: Cassi Nelson/Facebook

How much homework is too much homework?

Debates about homework are nothing new, but the ability of parents to find support for homework woes from thousands of other parents is a fairly recent phenomenon. A mom named Cassi Nelson shared a post about her first grader's homework and it quickly went viral. Nelson shared that her son had come home from his second day of school with four pages of homework, which she showed him tearfully working on at their kitchen counter.

"He already doesn’t get home from school until 4pm," she wrote. "Then he had to sit still for another hour plus to complete more work. I had to clear out the kitchen so he could focus. His little legs kept bouncing up and down, he was bursting with so much energy just wanting to go play. Then he broke my heart when he looked up at me with his big teary doe eyes and asked…. 'Mommy when you were little did you get distracted a lot too?!' Yes sweet baby, mommy sure did too! I don’t know how ppl expect little children to sit at school all day long and then ALSO come home to sit and do MORE work too…."

Nelson tells Upworthy that she was "shocked" that kindergarteners and first graders have homework, much less the amount they were expected to do. "We didn't have homework like this when we were in these younger grades."

Expert opinion and research is somewhat mixed on the homework front, but there isn't any conclusive evidence that homework is universally beneficial for students and too much homework can actually be harmful. As a standard, the National Education Association (NEA) and the National Parent Teacher Association (NPTA) support a limit on homework of “10 minutes of homework per grade level."

With that as a guide, a first grader shouldn't have more than 10 minutes of homework on any given school day, but it's not unusual for young kids to have two or three times the recommended limit of homework. That can be stressful for both kids and parents, cutting into valuable family time and limiting kids' time to decompress, play and freely engage in imaginative activity.

As Nelson concluded, "It’s breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Most parents and even most teachers in the comments agreed with her that four pages of homework is too much for a first grader, especially on only the second day of school:

"Poor little man. Children below a certain grade should not be given homework! Small children have a hard time sitting still for a long period of time yet alone expected to sit and do hours of homework, for what??? They are SMALL CHILDREN! Let them snack, play, laugh and all the other fun things when they get home. You are only a child once, they don't need that taken away from them. Let them embrace their inner creativity, imagination, recipes, etc."

"This breaks my spirit. Our schools are huge scams. You're exactly right Cassi. Homework is ridiculous. Kids til the age of 10 primarily learn through real life situations and play scenarios."

"I hate that for him! My little one has ADHD and doing homework after sitting in class all day is very stressful to him and makes him hate school. They are in school for 7 hours they shouldn’t have homework. That definitely takes away any kind of family time and that’s why kids never spend time with parents anymore because they have all this homework to do after being gone all day.I feel that if it can’t be done in the 7 hours they have the kids then it should wait until the next school day."

"I don’t make them do homework at home when they are that little. It’s not fair!They are at school allllll day! And it’s already sooooo much for their little bodies and brains! I’ve never had a teacher upset about it either.. and even if I did oh well!"

"That breaks my heart. 4 pages is absolutely ridiculous for young kids. My daughter is going into 2nd grade next month, the 2 years in school it was always 1 page of homework sometimes back and front if it was math. And to read."

This article originally appeared in August "I was in this boat with my son…conversation with the principal and teachers helped dramatically!! It’s too much and we have to advocate for them."

Nelson was blown away by the response to her post, which has been shared on Facebook over 89,000 times. "I NEVER thought me sharing my thoughts openly about how my heart hurt watching my little guy struggle would connect to so many others worldwide going through the same thing," she says.

Many parents shared that excessive homework is one of the reasons they decided to homeschool their children, which Nelson took to heart. The week after sharing her viral homework post, she shared that they had had their first day of homeschooling. It was "A HUGE SUCCESS!!!!" she wrote, with her son getting far more work done in a far shorter amount of time, sitting for classes for just 1 hour and 45 minutes total.

Nelson tells Upworthy she was totally intimidated to try homeschooling. "I seriously thought there was no way," she says. "But I knew I had to set my fear aside and just take the leap for my kids. I told myself I'd figure it out one way or another. And here we are three days in and it's been the easiest and best choice I've ever made."

Homeschooling is not going to the right solution for every family, however, so the question of homework remains an important issue for kids, parents, teachers and schools to work out.


This article originally appeared in August

Take pleasure in the simple things.

Greg Dutra is a meteorologist for ABC7 Chicago. But thanks to his adorable discovery during a live weather report, he’s now a wholesome viral sensation. The weather report started off in its usual way, with Dutra pointing out potential rain patterns on a digital map. But once this weatherman realized his map was actually a touchscreen, his excitement simply could not be contained. Childlike joy ensued.

“I can do that? No way!” he exclaimed, with all the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning. “Are you serious? Did you just discover that?” his morning co-host Val Warner asked off camera. Then Terrell Brown, another co-host, popped into frame to join in on the fun. He showed the awestruck reporter that yes, one can move the map simply by touching it. Evidently no one had made Dutra privy to those marvels of modern technology.

“Oh man, It’s a great day!” Dutra cheered, his smile going from ear to ear. Poor guy tried his best to continue with his weather report, but it was too late. The joy had taken over, and giggling ensued.

The entire clip is less than a minute, but it took the internet by storm (weather pun not intended, but you’re welcome). The video quickly amassed nearly 2 millions views on Twitter. Let’s just say that hearts were won over by Dutra’s wholehearted pleasure and hilarious sense of wonder.

We’re sorry this wasn’t in your training manual, Dutra. But thank you for giving us a reason to smile today. Your forecast might have been rainy, but your attitude is a ray of sunshine.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

A woman sleeps soundly in her Plufl.

Have you ever looked at your dog napping soundly in the middle of the day and secretly wished you could have a dog bed, too? Newer styles of dog beds look like soft and cozy nests that you can sink into like a cloud. Well, dreams do come true. Two college kids from Vancouver, Canada, Noah Silverman and Yuki Kinoshita, have created the world’s first human-sized dog bed and they call it the Plufl.

“The Plufl is a premium napping bed engineered to provide the optimal napping experience,” it says on the Plufl’s Indie GoGo site. “It is created to maximize comfort and foster a sense of security, delivering relief for those who have ADHD, stress, and anxiety-related issues. A nap in the Plufl will boost your mood and have you feeling refreshed.”

That’s a pretty impressive claim. They could have just written, “You’ll sleep like a dog" and sold millions.

It may seem like a pie-in-the-sky idea, but there’s a lot of serious demand for the beds. The founders raised more than $290,000 in a Kickstarter campaign to get the company going and the beds are so popular that you have to get on a waiting list to buy one.

The beds cost $399 for one or $699 for two. If you buy yours now you’ll get it in January 2023, just after the holidays. The company currently only ships to the U.S. and Canada.

The beds are a clever idea but Jimmy Fallon had some fun with them on “The Tonight Show.”

"And finally, a company called Plufl has created the first human-sized dog bed and it costs $400," Fallon said. "Honestly, I can't tell what's more annoying, the bed, the price or that I just had to say the word 'Plufl.'"

@weareplufl

Follow for part 2! #jimmyfallon #fyp #storytime

@weareplufl

Part 2! #jimmyfallon #fyp #storytime

The beds are also popular on TikTok where the brand has more than 80,000 followers.

@weareplufl

#nap #sleep #napfluencer #sleepfluencer #plufl #smallbusiness #smallbusinesscheck #smallbusinessowner #homeade #heath #wellness #smallbiz #smallbiztiktok

The beds are made out of 4-inch-thick orthopedic memory foam that's covered with faux fur. The CertiPUR-US certified foam is made with materials that are safe for humans, dogs and the environment.

The first Plufl offerings are one-size-fits-all and can fit two nappers up to 6-foot, 5 inches tall. The founders hope to make multiple sizes that fit everyone comfortably in future iterations. The beds fold up for easy storage.

@weareplufl

Reply to @itsjalynnhoe it’s easy to store and put away the Plufl!

Silverman and Kinoshita told The New York Post that they were inspired to create the beds by their friend Lady, a Great Dane who hangs out at their local coffee shop. The dog is so large that its owners had to purchase a custom-made bed for the 200-pound dog.

That gave the founders an idea. If you can make a custom dog bed for a Great Dane, why not a human?

Over the past few years, there has been a big push for people to take more naps to improve their mental and emotional well-being throughout the day. I bet that if everyone had a massive, human-sized dog bed in the office, the percentage of people who nap every day would triple.

This article originally appeared two years ago.