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Creepy guy wouldn't stop staring at her working out. She knew exactly what to do.

He had no idea he was being watched.

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Heidi staring back at her harasser on TikTok.

When lifting weights at the gym, the discomfort you feel should be coming from the workout. Not from other people with no concept of boundaries. However, this is an all-too-common occurrence for women. Personal trainer Heidi Aragon (@fit_with_heidi) is used to sharing her fitness journey on social media. Her video, which has now garnered more than 8 million views on TikTok, didn't go viral because of the workout. Instead, people are responding to how she confronted a man who not only wouldn't stop staring at her, but denied the fact that he was. Until Heidi beat him at his own game.

Heidi explains in the text video, "This creepy old guy at the gym kept coming over and staring at me." Sure enough, the video shows a man in a green shirt, eyes undeniably fixated on Heidi. Uncomfortable, Heidi tries to get her husband to stand between her and the man, hoping to send a not-so-subtle cue to back off. But subtlety is clearly not this guy's language.

So what does Heidi do? She stares back. The strategy seemed to work, at least for a while, but eventually Heidi had to go over and confront the guy directly.

Her video text read: "I told him if he's going to work out in this corner, he needed to stop staring and making me uncomfortable. His response was, 'I'm just looking around.' I then told him I record my workouts and I have him on film. He shut up real quick."

@fit_with_heidi

Don’t sit there and tell me you’re not doing something when I have proof. 😡 #gymtok #fittok #influencer #viral #trending #tiktok #fitness #gym #gymgirl #fyp #fypシ #foryou #foryoupage #gymcreeps

I know what you're thinking: "Wait, didn't we just hear a story about this?" Why yes, you're right. Our very own Tod Perry covered another woman who had to deal with a guy at the gym who couldn't take a hint.

Yes, almost back-to-back stories of women who have had enough of fellow male gym-goers. And still, there is victim-blaming. In the video's comment section, one user wrote, "Wear pants like that and expected something different??" "Man let the old man enjoy the view!!! But it’s ok for all of us on tiktok to stare?" another added.

How many videos have to go viral before we stop blaming a woman's choice of clothing (which were really quite normal gym attire, by the way) for a man's obviously intrusive behavior?

@fit_with_heidi

Get after it today #gymtok #fittok #gym #fitness #tiktok #follow #fyp #foryourpage #viral #influencer #trending #fitgirl #workout #personaltrainer

Others also seemed to assess that because Heidi was a fitness influencer, she more or less signed up for this kind of attention, invited or not. This completely negates this woman having any choice in the matter. However, a lot of people did support Heidi in the comments. "This happens too often to women from old guys. Happens to my girl all the time. Sorry y'all gotta deal with this but Proud of you for addressing him," one man wrote. "All the men saying it’s your fault. That attitude is the problem."


After the video went viral, Heidi did post a tongue-in-cheek follow-up video thanking those who posted negative comments, as it gave her more followers and likes. So I guess there's some small victory.

Though we may never have a consensus on proper gym etiquette, a good rule of thumb is keep to yourself. Getting the gumption to go work out is hard enough; don't make staying there a hardship as well.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Victoria's Secret responds to viral song that's critical of how it caters to body stereotypes

One song could literally change how Victoria's Secret does business.

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Victoria's Secret responds to viral song.

In the summer of 2022, you probably heard the song "Victoria's Secret" by Jax, who wrote the song for a young teen girl she babysits after the girl tried on bathing suits at the famous clothing store chain.

Girls and women have been perusing the racks of Victoria's Secret for decades. The yearly fashion show that depicted tall, thin models donning enormous angel wings was something to look forward to for millions of people. But for others, it was a reminder that their body type didn't fit the mold of what was deemed "beautiful" by one company's standards. That insecurity-inducing impact in advertising is exactly what the song is about and why it resonated with so many people online.

@jaxwritessongs

I wrote a song for The Kid I Babysit. It’s called Victoria’s Secret 🤫 ❤️ 👙 @TheLascherFamily #victoriassecret #fyp #bodypositivity #originalmusic

The teen's experience was less than ideal, as she was brought to tears over mean comments about her body from other girls. In response, Jax quickly cranked out a song about what she considers the potential self-esteem harm caused by the lingerie giant and uploaded it to TikTok where it went crazy viral with more than 39 million views. It has become such a cultural phenomenon, that it even crossed over from TikTok to the Billboard charts. So, it's no surprise that the song caught the attention of Victoria's Secret PINK CEO Amy Hauk.

photo of a letter

Recreation of Victoria's Secret's letter

Canva

The virility of the catchy summer bop is what catapulted the song to the attention of Hauk, who then reached out to Jax about finding a way to be more inclusive. In response, Jax turned to her 11 million followers to encourage them to put their suggestions in her comments.

@jaxwritessongs

My response to Victoria’s Secret. The floor is yours…. #victoriassecret #inclusivity #speakyourmind

Jax said in the video, "I don't feel comfortable speaking on behalf of an entire generation in a manipulative, non-inclusive marketing culture." The songwriter went on to say, "Since Victoria's Secret is paying attention to my account, I'm asking anyone who feels like they never had a voice, or ever had a say in the matter to comment on this video." She tells her followers to let the company know what they "need to feel safe and represented, and comfortable and beautiful in today's society."

The women did not disappoint. They came in, flooding Jax's comments section with suggestions on what they'd like to see. Shoelover99 commented, "We want REAL WOMEN! scars, stretch marks, tattoos, we want ALL WOMEN to feel beautiful in the product & with size inclusive."

TikTok user Heysquirrelfriend said, "How about the "older" ladies in the world? We like to feel loved and accepted too! Because our age is over 50 doesn't mean we don't feel young inside."

The overall comments section was filled with women asking for inclusivity in sizes. I'm not sure if was Jax's song, the comments section or something that has been in the works, but a press release soon went out announcing more inclusive bra sizes by partnering with Elomi, an inclusive lingerie company. It includes band sizes from 34 to 46 and cups from DD to O.

With this development, it certainly seems as if the brand is paying attention to the desires of the people wearing its products. Women everywhere are hoping the new blip of inclusivity from the brand isn't short-lived.

In the Fall of 2024, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show returned with a new, inclusive line-up of models in an attempt to make good on their promise of being inclusive by employing models of all sizes and genders. Teen Vogue's Aiyana Ishmael wrote an op-ed that challenged how inclusive Victoria Secret really has become, citing herself and fans who felt the brand didn't do the whole inclusivity thing as well or as substantially as they could have. It seems, though, Victoria Secret is committed to trying.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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People who are 'good at flirting' are sharing the clues that tell if someone likes you

Here are 15 great tips.

via Pexels

Are they flirting with me or just being nice?

Most of the time it’s tough to know if someone is flirting with you because they have to be subtle. They can’t be too obvious because if the feeling isn’t mutual it can be pretty embarrassing. It’s also tough to detect if someone is flirting because most of the time it’s someone you don’t know very well. Do they like me or are they normally friendly?

It hurts to imagine the number of times we’ve all missed signals that someone was interested in us and a potentially wonderful romance never happened. However, studies show that it happens more often than not.

A study on heterosexuals published in Psychology Today found that women were only 18% accurate in recognizing men’s flirting, while 36% of men were accurate about women's flirting. However, we’re really good at knowing when people aren’t flirting with us.

In the same study, women were 83% accurate in seeing friendliness as just friendliness, and men performed about the same at 84% accuracy.

Jeffery Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, says there are five main styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful.

Physical flirting involves “communicating sexual interest” to a potential partner. Traditional flirting is a tactic primarily used by introverts, where men tend to take the lead and women assume a passive role. Polite flirting involves the use of “proper manners” and is a cautious way of showing you like someone.

Sincere flirting involves telling the person you’re interested, and playful flirts like joking around but their efforts rarely turn into substantial relationships.

A Reddit user, who has since deleted their profile, asked a great question on the AskReddit subforum that should be a big help to those who have a hard time spotting flirtation. They asked, "People who are good at flirting, what are some social cues us oblivious people should watch out for?"

A large number of people who responded to the thread gave practical advice on the behaviors that are a giveaway that someone is flirting. The most popular responses are eye contact and laughing at your jokes, even if they aren’t funny.

Here are 15 of our favorite social cues that show someone is interested.

1. The dance of plausible deniability.

"Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until i heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability.

"Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit to long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time.

"If you want to know if someone's flirting, you need to test it. You do that by escalating things, but just a bit, so that now you have plausible deniability (touch them back in a comfortable way, maintain eye contact, or joke-compliment them back). If they escalate back and continue to do so as you escalate in turn, that is flirting. Eventually one of you will break cover and do something with clear intent (a kiss, an approach + ask for a number, or straight up telling them what you think of them and that you're interested). Otherwise, if you escalate and they don't change their behavior or they back off, then they were probably just being friendly and you should take the hint and do the same.

"Dunno if that's something obvious to people, but it was definitely not for me, and college parties would have been way less fun had i not known. Hopefully this can help someone else too :)" – three_furballs

2. Give 'em a chance to be alone.

"If you're in a group of friends (new or old), find a natural opportunity to hang back. Someone who's interested in you will notice and take the opportunity to talk to you in private. Now this isn't full [fool] proof but it'll at least give you the opportunity to feel for any chemistry between you." – Kagamid

3. Conversation should be two-sided.

"Be wary of a one-sided conversation. If your responses are met with mostly "yeps" and "uh huh" and nothing without meat, its probably not going well." – ViciousKnids

4. Ignoring their friend.

"If they look directly at you while talking to their friend it's a good sign." – yassis_bru

5. The reaction shot.

"I read once that if someone looks at you after someone (doesn't have to be you) said something funny and everyone is laughing, they like you. From personal experience, it's true." – luv_sicK

6. Lots of eye contact.

"They make a lot of eye contact. They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex but it often means they wish for more quality time with you)." – TheSurfingRaichu

7. Trust then test.

"In my experience, almost everyone can get a sense that someone is into them, but most people second guess themselves until they convince themselves it's nothing. I say trust that sense. It's based off all of these factors that we pick up consciously and subconsciously, and almost always it's not a coincidence.

"When you think someone likes you, you can test that theory in a few ways. A subtle but effective example is inviting them to something you know they can't or don't want to attend. If they express interest in rescheduling or finding some other way to spend time with you, they like you. Otherwise they'll just say no, sorry I can't make it ... Of course, you could also just ask. In my experience anyone worth getting intimate with is mature enough to deal with that question." – MildlyWyld

8. Mirroring.

"Does their body turn toward you or away from you when you talk? Do they mirror your body language?" – Perfect_Draw516

9. They touch you.

"Physical contact. Granted, not everyone flirts the same way but a good sign is if they touch your arm (or the like) or you find them smiling the whole time that you’re talking to them." – Cosmic_Marman

10. Special eye contact.

"When you're in a public space, the direct eye contact (for a beat or two too long) and the look away. One of my go-to moves that always yielded results." – LuLu42

11. Bad jokes.

"Seriously tell a bad joke - look for laughter and smiles that should not be there but are. Then it’s you they are into, definitely not what you said." – YukonBrawler

12. Facial gestures.

"According to Sherlock: licking lips, eyes cast down towards the other persons lips, quirky smile of the lips, dilated eyes. And if the person has long hair, tucking it behind their ear or other fidgety behavior." – fandomfangirl1

13. Mimicking body language.

"In the case of someone who likes you, while interacting, watch for repetitious patterns and mimic their body language. Eventually, if you cross your arms and the person whose attention you are seeking does the same, for example, you can rely on that being a good sign." – flungkle

14. Little adjustment.

"I've noticed that women will do a little adjustment to you, like brushing off a little piece of lint off your lapel or moving a stray hair off your face while talking to you. At least they did back in my rogue days." – robfrankel1

15. Take your shot.

"If you're at a bar and a woman makes eye contact for more than a second without looking away, shoot your shot." – sle7in360

There you have it! If you're picking up any of these signs, it might mean you can go ahead and shoot your shot (respectfully!). Good luck out there!

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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57-year-old former model Paulina Porizkova had the perfect response to ageist comment online

"We have earned our beauty, we understand what it is, and we can see it so much better."

Photo by Malin K. on Unsplash

Paulina Porizkova took on a commenter who said she was in "pain" being "old and ugly."

Aging is a weird thing. From one perspective, it's something we should be grateful for. Few people would wish for the kind of short, uneventful life that would remove aging from the equation completely. The longer we live, the more we grow and learn and experience life, and "aging" is simply the mathematical sum of those experiences. All good, right?

On the other hand, American society does everything in its power to stop and even reverse aging. Especially when it comes to women. According to Statista, the global anti-aging beauty market is estimated to be worth $58.8 billion. People will try all manner of creams, serums, masks, acids, lights, technologies, and surgeries to try to prevent wrinkles, lines, sagginess, spots and other signs that our bodies are changing with time.

Most of us live our daily lives somewhere in the middle of these two realities, wanting to embrace our aging selves but also hoping to stave off some of the more obvious signs that we're getting older. It's natural to resist it in some ways. The older we get, the closer we're moving to the end of our lives, which we don't want to hasten for plenty of reasons: love for family, friends, relationships, adventures, food, etc. Plus, that reality can cause us some anxiety.

While Fear of Getting Old (FOGO) is real, it can be helpful to see people gracefully embracing their age. Case in point: former supermodel Paulina Porizkova who confidently shared photos of her 57-year-old self on social media 2022.


Porizkova shared a photo of herself in a bikini and a screenshot of a comment made by a person who felt the need to critique her aging body. And phew, was it something. The commenter wrote:

"You must be in so much pain to keep posting bikini pictures at your age. I've always thought that getting old and ugly is hardest on the pretty people. The fall from grace is so much farther when you were beautiful. Ugly people were always ugly so getting old and ugly isn't a change. In summary, I feel your pain. I pray you can come to terms with your mortality. We all get old and ugly…you just had to fall from a greater height than the rest of us. Tears Times Infinity!"

So many things to unpack here. First of all, the comment is weird. Second of all, it's rude. Third of all, it's clearly ageist, which, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) is "one of the last socially acceptable prejudices." Yikes.

Porizkova shared her thoughts on the comment on Instagram.

"Here’s a good follower comment- echoing a few others," Porizkova wrote. "A woman of 57 is 'too old' to pose in a bikini - no matter what she looks like. Because 'Old' is 'Ugly.' I get comments like these every time I post a photo of my body. This is the ageist shaming that sets my teeth on edge. Older men are distinguished, older women are ugly."

"People who believe prettiness equals beauty do not understand beauty," she continued. "Pretty is easy on the eyes, partly because it’s a little bland, inoffensive. It’s easy to take in and easy to forget. Not so beauty. Beauty can be sharp. It can wound you and leave a scar. To perceive beauty you have to be able to SEE."

"This is why I believe we get more beautiful with age," she added. "We have earned our beauty, we understand what it is, and we can see it so much better. There is no such thing as ugly and old. Only shortsighted and ignorant."

On X (formerly Twitter), Porizkova was a bit more sarcastic, writing, "Thank you for feeling my pain, rickaroo777. As you can see, I’m suffering indeed."

That tongue-in-cheek response prompted others to share their aging selves in photos, sharing how their "old and ugly" phase of life is going. The thread turned into a veritable celebration of middle-to-late age, with posts about how much more comfortable people feel in their bodies as they get older and the freedom that comes along with not caring what other people think.

You suffer beautifully

There are two big ironies with the original trolling comment. Most obviously, Porizkova obviously looks freaking amazing in a bikini, so the whole "ugly" and "fall from grace" line of thought is objectively off base. The second is that if you look through Porizkova's Instagram feed, she doesn't pose in bikinis very often at all. It's not like she's plastering her bikini selfies all over social media trying to feel better about herself, as the commenter implies. She just…sometimes wears a bikini. Whoop dee doo.

People don't have to wear bikinis if they don't want to. But to tell strangers what they can wear crosses a line. All bodies are bikini bodies, and if the person in the body wants their body to be in a bikini, more power to them.

The "suffering" and "pain" in the posts were so funny to see.

The thread brought inspiration to those who may fall prey to the idea that people shouldn't wear certain things after a certain age or that only people with certain body sizes or shapes should wear certain things.

The hashtag #oldandugly started trending as people responded to Porizkova's call for a celebration of aging beautifully.

"Todays thread has been my absolute favorite of all time," Porizkova wrote on Twitter. "Thank you all you 'old and ugly' women (and a few men) showing the world how much we 'suffer' at in our old age. You’re all breathtaking!"

May we all age beautifully and gracefully in whatever way those words are meaningful to us, and show those who think that aging means "suffering" and "pain" due to being "old and ugly" that they have no idea what they're talking about.

(And here's an extra shout-out to Porizkova for using her beauty and her age to make an important point—not only about celebrating getting older, but also about how propaganda works. Brava.)


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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