The rule that solves the 'eat when it's hot' or when 'all are served' etiquette debate for good
You can be practical and polite at the same time.
A group of friends having dinner.
We’ve all been there: you’re out at a restaurant with 10 other people for a birthday party, you’re famished, and your food arrives. However, you’re first, and it could be 10 minutes before everyone at the table, especially the guy who ordered the meatloaf, will get their food. What do you do? Appear to be rude and start scarfing down your chicken fettuccini, or let the noodles slowly grow cold while you wait for every dish to arrive?
Some say that if there are six or fewer at a table, wait for everyone to arrive. Others say that you must always wait for everyone to be served unless it's a buffet or a large gathering, such as a wedding. Miss Manners believes that in situations where you order something cold, such as a salad, you must wait for those who ordered a hot meal to give you permission to eat.
What is ‘Futterman’s Rule’?
These rules all seem complicated and somewhat arbitrary, so there is a great rule-of-thumb I always use when eating with more than a handful of people: “Futterman’s Rule.” The Rule, conceived by New Yorker Gene Futterman, states that “When two are served, all may eat.” The wisdom comes from an unlikely place: hip-hop/punk pioneers the Beastie Boys. “Futterman’s Rule was the name of an instrumental track on their fourth studio album Ill Communication (1994), and the Rule was written in the song's liner notes."
Not only did they fight for your right to party, but also for your right to eat your food while it’s hot.
“Gene and [his wife] Sonni used to do large dinner parties with lots of people at the table. And they would always say, ‘When two are served, you eat!’ You don't just sit there and let your food get cold waiting for everyone to get served,” Noel Yauch, father of Beatie Boy Adam “MCA” Yauch told Grand Royal Magazine. “It's fair, it's just plain fair,” Adam Yauch added.
‘Futterman’s Rule’ is practical and egalitarian
“The elegance of Futterman’s Rule does lend it a hint of spirituality. One eats one’s food while it is hot, observing dinner as a natural continuum (instead of the top-down, “no-one-eats-until-the-chef-is-ready” hierarchical model that dominates most households),” Nathan Brackett, a friend of the Futtermans, wrote. “At the same time, no one eats alone (it is only once two people are served, and a social base is established for those with food, that one may begin to eat). If form follows function, the Rule is built to travel.”
I am a big fan of the Rule for multiple reasons. Namely, I don’t enjoy cold food or following arbitrary rules. Also, calling Futterman’s Rule when people are sitting down to eat is a gift you give to the other people who have been served and are anxiously waiting to eat.
How does Futterman’s Rule work?
Let’s say there are seven people at your dinner party, and your buddy is served first, and he waits patiently. When you receive your food, you simply say, “Futterman’s Rule: Once two are served, all may eat.” Then you nod to your buddy, giving him permission to eat, and both of you chow down. One hundred percent of the time, they will join you because they are hungry and they want to confirm your bold social stance. There is also an element of distraction to calling out the Rule. Someone will ask, “What’s Futterman’s Rule?” and, as you take a massive bite of pork-fried rice, you tell the story. This Rule not only relaxes social norms around communal eating but also provides for some solid table discussion.
Ultimately, table manners are very nuanced, and it’s probably not great to call out Futterman’s Rule while at a super-serious gathering or among people you don’t know very well. But it’s a great tradition to introduce to your social circle that will make everyone feel a lot more comfortable and less hungry when you go out to dinner. Much like great food, great company, and Beastie Boys music, Futterman’s Rule is to be shared. Give it a shot at your next dinner party and see if it brings people together and sparks a fun conversation about etiquette.
Beastie Boys discussing the origins of "Futterman's Rule" on the Ill Communication Audio Commentary.
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A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via 
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 
At least it wasn't Bubbles. 
You just know there's a person named Whiskey out there getting a kick out of this. 
An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
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Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.