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Moms are sharing what they really want for Mother's Day

Moms are sharing what they really want for Mother's Day
Image by 5540867 from Pixabay

Figuring out what to do for a mom on Mother's Day can be a tricky thing. There's the standard flowers or candy, of course, and taking her out to a nice brunch is a fairly universal winner. But what do moms really want?

Speaking from experience—my kids range from age 12 to 20—a lot depends on the stage of motherhood. What I wanted when my kids were little is different than what I want now, and I'm sure when my kids are grown and gone I'll want something different again.

We asked our readers to share what they want for Mother's Day, and while the answers were varied, there were some common themes that emerged.

Moms of young kids want a break.

When your kids are little, motherhood is relentless. Precious and adorable, yes. Wonderful and rewarding, absolutely. But it's a LOT. And it's a lot all the fricking time.

Most moms I know would love the gift of alone time, either away at a hotel or Airbnb or in their own home with no one else around. Time alone is a priceless commodity at this stage, especially if it comes with someone else taking care of cleaning, making sure the kids are fed and safe and occupied, doing the laundry, etc.

This is especially true after more than a year of pandemic living, where we moms have spent more time than usual at home with our offspring. While in some ways that's been great, again, it's a lot.

Reader Heather W. wrote that she wanted "A night at a hotel by myself 🙂 (Love my kids but after this year, everyone home plus having a baby I could use a bit of a break)." Tons of other readers concurred.

Some moms might not want or need time alone, but getting a break from the day-to-day mundane tasks of childrearing and/or housekeeping is always welcome. That's why reader Emma K. wrote that she wanted a day off: "A day where I don't have to cook or clean or think for anyone else. A day where these things still get done and not just left for the following day for me to take care of."

Tip for this stage: Clean the house, give her a short-and-sweet "Happy Mother's Day!" and then either take the kids away for a night or send her away for a night. If a night isn't possible, a big chunk of the day will suffice. Anything that will give her stress-free, guilt-free time to herself in a clean space.

Moms of tween and teens want to be appreciated.

As kids get older, the relentlessness of motherhood becomes less physical and more emotional. While moms of wee ones are physically tired, moms of middles are often emotionally drained. Older kids and teens can be a lot of fun, but they can also be oblivious to how much their mother does for them. Moms in the middle years really want to know their family sees and appreciates their years of ongoing dedication and sacrifice.

While a scrawled-out card from a little kid is super sweet, a heartfelt message from an older child is truly touching. The tween and teen years can be contentious and connections can feel tenuous as kids start preparing to leave the nest, so letting moms know that they are loved, seen, and treasured at this stage can go a long way.

Doing things around the house without being asked goes a long way too. That's huge at this stage.

Tip for this stage: Encourage older kids to communicate their love and gratitude directly to their mothers. Many don't realize how much their mom might appreciate a simple expression of appreciation. Also have them look for thing they can take off their mom's plate to help her relax.

Moms of adult children want family bonding time.

Once kids have flown the coop, what moms really want is time as a family again. Yes, it's ironic that moms want to get away when their kids are young and want nothing but togetherness when kids are older, but such is the nature of the beast. It's not that moms of younger kids don't love to have family time, it's that for many moms "family time" is most of the time. It may not always be as quality or relaxed as we want it to be, but it's still family time.

Once kids are gone, moms might relish the freedom and rejuvenation of getting plenty of alone time, and at the same time yearn for the fun family times that are now fewer and farther between. Flowers are fine, cards are nice, but for empty nest moms, a fun family outing or get-together at home is a gift.

Reader Lori C. summed it up: "My two grown boys are spending the afternoon with me. I can't wait just to be with them and talk."

And again, after the past year, this yearning is all the more relevant. As Christina S. wrote, "I haven't been able to hug my adult children in over a year because of COVID. I just want a hug."

Several moms said they wanted their family to get vaccinated for this very reason.

Tip for this stage: Coordinate a family gathering for moms of adult kids, in person if it can be done safely or virtually if that's a better option.

Moms want their own moms back.

Mother's Day isn't all sunshine and puppies; it's a hard day for a lot of people for lots of reasons.

A number of commenters said that what they really wish they could have for Mother's Day is time with their own moms who are no longer with them—a heartbreaking but real sentiment. Equally as moving are the comments from moms who don't have good relationships with their own mothers and wish they did.

These folks provide a needed reminder to treasure the relationships we have with our moms if we have them, while we have them.

Tip: Acknowledge the loss and grief some people might be feeling on Mother's Day. A special framed photo of a mom who has passed on might be appropriate. For others, a simple, "Thinking of you today, I know it's hard," message may be appreciated.

Whether a mom in your life wants a day away from family or a day filled with family, whether she wants a special creation from her kids or a day at a spa (or both), Mother's Day is her day. Ask her what an ideal day would look like to her, and then do what you can to make something like it happen for her.

Wishing all the moms out there a Happy Mother's Day! Hope you get what you want and need, whatever that means for you.

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Education

Why didn't people smile in old-timey photographs? A smile meant something different back then.

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s.

via Public Domain

Photos from the 1800s were so serious.

If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?

Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.

Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.

But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.


mona lisa, leonardo da vinci, classic paintings, famous smiles, art"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain

The non-smiling precedent had already been set by centuries of painted portraits

The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.

A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.

old photos, black and white photos, algerian immigrant, turban, Algerian immigrant to the United States. Photographed on Ellis Island by Augustus F. Sherman.via William Williams/Wikimedia Commons

Smiling usually indicated that you were a fool or a drunkard

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:

"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."

drunks, classic painting, owls, malle babbe, paintings"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain


In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.

Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.

As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.

Another reason why people didn't smile in old photos is that dental hygiene wasn't the same as it is today, and people may have been self-conscious about their teeth. “People had lousy teeth, if they had teeth at all, which militated against opening your mouth in social settings,” Angus Trumble, the director of the National Portrait Gallery in Canberra, Australia, and author of A Brief History of the Smile, said, according to Time.


wedding party photo, wedding, old weddings, black and white, serious photos, no smilesEven wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons


Then along came movies, which may have changed the whole picture

So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.

Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.

Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Brilliant video argues for 5 iconic Gen X words that are poised for a cultural comeback

You totally want to see this happen.

Canva

An 80s woman holds up a boom box. A 90s woman break dances.

As a proud Gen X-er, I'm probably a little biased as to how totally sick our dope slang was. A person is considered part of the X generation if they're born between 1965 and around 1980, so we have words and phrases that were big in both the 80s and 90s. In the 80s, it was stuff inspired by Californians, (particularly those who lived in the Valley) like "rad," :stoked," "tubular," and "grody to the max." The 90s Gen X-er elevated to more intelligent-sounding terms like "dope," "wiggity whack," and "illin'."

- YouTube, RUN DMC, Certifiedwww.youtube.com

Luckily, we have movies like Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, plus bands like Run DMC, the Beastie Boys, and Kris Kross to keep these words forever in our vernacular. But most, if not all, of them deserve to make a true comeback.

Joe Boyd (@deconstructedpastor on TikTok) shares what he believes are the top five Gen X slang terms of all time. In the number five slot, he lists, "Psych," which he explains is the odd concept we had of saying one thing and then immediately admitting it was a joke. Like, for example, this Gen X slang article was published in a Harvard science journal. Psych!

@deconstructedpastor

Top 5 gen x slang words of all time. #genx #genxtiktokers #genxcrew #genxkid #awesome

At number four, Joe tells us it's "Duh" and any variation on it. "No Duh!" Or "No Der." Or "Der." Or "Doy!" In very typical Gen X fashion, he explains this term by just using it. "It just means, ya know, DUH."

Number three on the list is "Totally." Again, easiest to explain it by using it in a random sentence. "Things are just, totally. It just meant obviously, yes we agree." I'll add to that "totally" was used as an intensifier for an adjective. "Totally rad. Totally gross. Totally whack."

Number two, he says with authority, is "Dude." To put it in younger generational terms, he clarifies that "Dude was our 'Bruh.'" He explains you can use it many ways like "What's going on? Or dude. Or THAT dude. Or THIS dude. Lots of dudes."

Sean Penn, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Awesome, Gen XSean Penn as Spicoli says "Awesome."Giphy Sean Penn GIF

Coming in at number one on his list is hard to argue against: "Awesome." Now that's one of those Gen X words that never really went away, because how else would you describe a sunset or a sandwich? In fact, it's noted in the comments that both "awesome" and "dude" are still used daily.

On the subreddit r/GenX, a person posted, "Curious to know what Gen X slang everyone used or still uses?" This question resonated because over 400 people chimed in and came up with a few even I had forgotten.

Many people echo Joe's sentiment about the word "dude," though one points out the magical hybridization of the words "dude" and "man," which is now just "dude-man."

Another claims they came up with an entire phrase: "My husband swears he invented the phrase 'cool beans.' It’s an ongoing argument in our household." Another Redditor adds, "I've uttered cool beans in front of my kids. They looked at me like I had grown a second head."

To that end, lots of Gen X parents and teachers get a kick out of making younger generations guess the meaning of our slang. In this fun TikTok, @ghostmama tries to teach her daughter the meaning of a handful of terms.

@ghostmama

She cracks me up #genz #genx #mothersanddaughters #slang #SpotlightAPI #fypシ #80sbaby #80sslang

Her daughter gets a couple of them right (like "Big Time" and "Bodacious"), but adorably fails on "Space Cadet." (She asks, "That's a profession, right?")

Her most inventive answer involves the word "DINK," which means "Dual income, no kids." She's told it's an acronym and guesses "Don't invent Nutella Kids," which is a perfectly rad and awesome guess. She's all that and a back of chips, you might say.


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13 everyday idioms that make zero sense until you know where they come from

Sweating like a pig? Pigs don't sweat!

Images via Unsplash

Images of idioms.

I've always really liked cliches, idioms, proverbs, and common phrases we like to use over and over. They can get repetitive at times, but they're crucial tools in communication. They allow us to convey so much meaning in so few words—a commonly understood shorthand that can get complex points across quickly.

The only problem is that many of the most popular idioms in common use date back hundreds of years. In that time, they've either become outdated or seen their words adopt new meanings. In some cases the idioms have been shortened or reversed, losing important context. So when someone tells you to "bite the bullet," you may inherently know what they mean—but if you really stop and think about it, you have no idea why it means what it means.

If you're a word nerd like me, you'll be absolutely fascinated by the origin and evolution of some of these common idioms, and how they came to mean what they mean today.

1. Sick as a dog / Working like a dog

gif, dog, working, idioms, funny, sickDog hard at workGiphy

Ever have a cold and tell someone you're "sicker than a dog?" Kind of rude to dogs, in my opinion, and a little strange. I've had dogs my whole life and can't remember any of them coming down with the flu.

Sick as a dog actually originates hundreds of years ago, if not longer. Some explanations say that in the 1700s, stray dogs were responsible for the spread of many diseases, along with rats and other gutter critters. There are also references as far back as the Bible to dogs eating their own vomit—sounds pretty sick to me.

What about working like a dog? Dogs are the laziest creatures around! For this one you have to remember that dogs as "pleasure pets" is a relatively recent phenomenon. Before that they had to earn their keep by working tirelessly on the farm to herd and protect the animals.

2. Sweating like a pig

pigs, sweat, sweating like a pig, idioms, originsClose up of pigs.Image via Canva

This is an extremely common idiom that we all use and accept. There's just one problem with it: Pigs don't sweat!

So...what gives? You might be surprised to hear that 'sweating like a pig' actually has nothing to do with farm animals.

According to McGill University: "The term is actually derived from the iron smelting process in which hot iron poured on sand cools and solidifies with the pieces resembling a sow and piglets. Hence 'pig iron.' As the iron cools, the surrounding air reaches its dew point, and beads of moisture form on the surface of the 'pigs.' Thus, 'sweating like a pig' indicates that the 'pig' (i.e. iron) has cooled enough to be safely handled. And that's a 'pig' you wouldn't want to eat."

3. Bite the bullet

idioms, bite the bullet, bullets, guns, ammunitionA person holds a plate of bullets.Image via Canva

Biting the bullet refers to sucking it up and doing something hard, something you don't want to do but is necessary, and accepting the difficult consequences and/or pain that comes with it. But what does that have to do with biting a bullet?

There are different theories on this. One common explanation is that in the olden days it was common for soldiers on the battlefield receiving surgery to bite down on a lead bullet. You've probably seen people in movies biting down on a piece of wood or leather strap. Since lead is a softer metal, it would give just a little bit between their teeth and not damage them. So the idiom 'biting the bullet' means, "Okay, this is going to suck, just bite down and get through it."

4. Healthy as a horse

idioms, horses, healthy as a horse, animals, sayingsA horse making a funny face. Image via Canva

This one has always confused me. As a layman, it seems like horses are prone to injury and have trouble recovering when they hurt themselves. More research shows that horses can not vomit, which means they are highly at risk for deadly colic episodes. Doesn't sound super healthy!

The best explanation I can find for healthy as a horse is that, again, in the olden days, horses were symbols of health and strength and vitality. Which checks out—they're really powerful, majestic creatures.

5. Slept like a baby

idioms, slept like a baby, babies, kids, children, sayingsA baby with glasses sleeping on a moon pillow.Image via Canva

To many parents, this common idiom is rage-inducing. If babies sleep so well, why am I so exhausted all the time?!

Yes, babies are notorious for waking up every few hours or at the first sign of hunger or a dirty diaper. It puts their parents through the wringer (another strange idiom!). But to the outside observer, a sleeping baby is pure bliss. They are so innocent and blissfully unaware of anything going on around them—after all, if they're not sitting in a dirty diaper they really don't have too many other things to worry about. Also, despite all their shenanigans, babies do sleep a lot—around 17 hours a day or so. When you put it that way, the idiom starts to make a little sense.

6. Happy as a clam

idioms, clams, happy as a clam, seafood, sayingsOcean Seafood GIF by Lorraine NamGiphy

Clams are a lot of things. Some people find them delicious, others disgusting. One thing I think we can all agree on is that clams don't seem particularly happy, which makes this idiom a bit of a conundrum.

The truth is that this phrase is actually derived from the full version: "Happy as a clam at high water."

At low water, or low tide, clams are exposed to predators. At high tide, they're safe in deeper water. That's about as happy as mollusk can get!

7. The proof is in the pudding

pudding, idioms, proof, sayings, originsChocolate pudding.Image via Canva.

Hey, we all love pudding. But what the heck does this mean? If you're not familiar, it refers to judging something based on the results it generates—but what that has to do with pudding is a bit of a mystery to most people.

This is another example of a shortened idiom that makes more sense when you read the full, original line: "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

According to Dictionary.com it "originated as a reference to the fact that it was difficult to judge if the pudding was properly cooked until it was actually being eaten. In other words, the test of whether it’s done is taking a bite."

8. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

horse, smiling, gift horse, origin, idiomSmiling horse.Giphy

I've always been a big fan of this idiom, which basically means that it's rude to over-analyze or criticize something you got for free, especially when it was a nice gesture from a friend or loved one.

But here we go with horses again! This phrase likely originated from the fact that you can determine a horse's age and health by looking at its teeth. So if someone were to give you a horse as a gift, it would be rude to immediately try to see how "good" it was by looking in its mouth.

9. Clean as a whistle

idioms, clean as a whistle, kids, sayings, whistlesA young boy blows a whistle.Image via Canva

Whistles are objectively disgusting. They collect spit and germs every time they're used. I certainly wouldn't hold them up as a beacon of cleanliness.

So what gives with this idiom? There are several possible explanations that have been proposed.

First, a whistle won't work, or won't work very well, if it has debris blocking up its inside. So you can think of "clean" in this case as being "empty or free of clutter." Another possibility is that, in this idiom, clean refers to sharpness—as in the sharp sound a whistle makes—and that inference has been lost over time.

10. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps

idioms, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, sayings, valuesTwo women laugh looking at a laptop screenImage via Canva

This phrase is commonly used to describe someone who was "self-made" and built themselves up into a success from nothing. Imagine lying on the floor and hoisting yourself to your feet using only the straps on your boots.

The only problem is...that's impossible! And that's exactly the point. This idiom is actually meant to be sarcastic and to imply that "socioeconomic advancement...was an impossible accomplishment," according to Useless Etymology.

11. Have your cake and eat it too

cartoon, cake, slice, chocolate cake, idioms, originSlice of cake.Giphy

Why bother having a cake if you can't eat it? That's the mystery of this extremely common idiom or proverb (sometimes worded "you can't have your cake and eat it, too")

The explanation is actually really simple. "Have" in this case really means "keep" or "hold onto." So, in that case, it makes perfect sense that you can't eat your cake and also still have it. "You can't have it both ways," would be another way of saying it. This saying likely began in a letter from Thomas, Duke of Norfolk to Thomas Cromwell in 1538. Thomas wrote,

"A man can not have his cake and eat his cake."

The quote appeared again in 1546 in A Dialogue Conteinyng the Nomber in Effect of All the Prouerbes in the Englishe Tongue, a book of proverbs by John Heywood:

"Wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?"

12. Head over heels

tears for fears, head over heels, sayings, idiomstears for fears 80s GIFGiphy

Very rarely do people describe being deeply in love without using this phrase. But it's a confusing one, because isn't your head always over your heels? That doesn't seem to be an extraordinary state of being.

The idiom here has actually been flipped over time for unknown reasons. According to Dictionary.com, the saying originally went "heels over head," implying upside down. The saying originated in the 1300s, took its "present form" in the 1700s, and took its present meaning in the 1800s.

13. Pushing the envelope

idioms, pushing the envelope, exercise, gyms, workouts, sayingsTwo women at a gym push an oversized envelope.Images via Canva

When I think of radical, risky, or pushing the limits of what's possible, sliding an envelope across a table just somehow doesn't quite capture it for me. But an envelope doesn't have to be just a paper container that you put other paper in. It can actually refer to different parts and practices of an aircraft.

"Push the envelope comes from aeronautics, where it refers to a set of performance limits that may not be safely exceeded," according to Merriam Webster. Now that's more like it!

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I forced my Gen Alpha kid to watch 22 episodes of 'Boy Meets World.' Then she asked for more.

This one still delivers.

Canva Photos & Disney Plus

Young girl watching TV,; Cory and Shawn from Boy Meets World

TGIF can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. A celebration of the fact that the weekend is just around the corner, a pretty solid casual restaurant or happy hour spot from the early 2000s, etc. But to elder millennials, TGIF refers to only one thing: an epic evening of television featuring iconic sitcoms like Full House, Family Matters, Perfect Strangers, and of course, Boy Meets World. Can you believe those bangers used to all be on back to back to back?! We truly didn't realize how lucky we were in the 90s.

Boy Meets World, in particular, was an incredibly important show for me. As a curly haired, middle-class kid, it was easy for me to see myself in Cory Matthews, the flawed protagonist of the series. Cory was always worried about fitting in and being popular. He was jealous that his cool older brother and best friend had great hair and knew how to talk to girls. He was constantly screwing up and finding ways to make things right. It's what television was meant to be, and it taught me lessons that I took into my own friendships, my first relationship, and more.

As I get closer to my late-late-late 30s, I decided that I wanted to see if Boy Meets World still had the same magic I remember from when I was young. The twist is that now I have a daughter about Cory Matthews' age, a Gen Alpha kid, and I wanted to see how she'd respond to the characters and storylines that resonated with me so deeply way back when. For reference, a LOT of books, movies, and shows of my youth have completely failed to connect with her and her more modern sensibilities.

So, I sat her down and more or less forced her to watch the first season, or 22 episodes, with me. To my surprise, she wanted to keep going.

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsIm Right Here Look At Me GIFGiphy

Upon rewatch, it's not hard to see why. If you look past the baggy clothes and landline telephones, the lessons (and laughs) underneath are timeless. I was not expecting the show to connect with a representative from Gen Alpha, who are decidedly different from millennials when we were that age, in many many ways. But I think it works not because it reminds her of other things she likes, but specifically because it doesn't.

Here are five things Boy Meets World brings to the table that my 10-year-old is not used to seeing in her media:

1. Lessons (so many lessons)

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsThis line from "Cult Fiction" is better than anything on YouTube or TikTokGiphy

By the end of every episode of the show, Cory has had to learn a very tough lesson. He has to learn how to be more honest, how to be a better friend, or even when it's good to break the rules.

And that's just the regular episodes, to say nothing of the Very Special Episodes. After much consideration, I say: Bring back Very Special Episodes!

Are they cheesy? Absolutely. Are they a little simplistic and surface level? Sure. But they do something not a lot of kids media does anymore which is challenge young people with complex ideas. They are great discussion starters, especially as a parent watching alongside.

In one episode, Cory and Topanga fall asleep at the school while staying late to finish a project. The next day, everyone at school thinks Cory is "the man" for, presumably, hooking up with her. The show leaves certain things unsaid, or to the imagination, but it gave us a peek into sexism and reputation that my daughter hasn't been exposed to in the usual shows she watches.

And then, of course, there's the famous episode "Cult Fiction" where Shawn joins a cult called The Center. "Daddy, what's a cult?" is not a question I expected to field from my 10-year-old, but here we are! It was challenging, in a good way, to try to explain what they are and why they're harmful, which the show itself only vaguely touches on. These episodes were successful at piquing her curiosity and forcing her to ask questions, which is exactly the point.

A lot of the media my daughter watches just lacks this substance, even if it is simplistic at times in Boy Meets World. Shows she's enjoyed like Henry Danger or Sam and Cat come across as more purely silly—and both receive dismal scores from Common Sense Media for categories like "Positive Messages" and "Educational Value."

2. An honest-to-God plot

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsA simple plot is still better than no plot at all.Giphy

Boy Meets World isn't known for convoluted plot twists or reinventing the narrative structure. But at least it's got a story to offer.

Gen Alpha doesn't spend a lot of time engaging with plot-based media. My daughter and her friends love to read, and to watch the films and TV shows based on their favorite books, but as a whole, younger people are getting a lot of their entertainment from YouTube and TikTok. They spend a lot of time watching Get Ready With Me videos, Try Not To Laughs, Mr. Beast stunts, or people playing video games on livestreams.

Maybe it makes me sound old, but I'll say it anyway: Story still matters! Plot is good for your brain because it forces you to put yourself in the shoes of different characters. You have to imagine what one character might be thinking in a scene that leads them to do whatever it is they do next. Characters don't always say exactly what they mean (subtext) so your brain has to fill in the gaps and try to decipher when they're lying or withholding information or their true emotions.

Not all screen time is created equal. Watching a story is an active process. It's important for our brains, and helps build empathy and social intelligence. It elicits emotion. That's definitely something that's missing from a lot of the Gen Alpha media diet.

It also keeps kids like my daughter coming back because she wants to know what's going to happen next, not because the algorithm's got her hooked with easy bursts of dopamine.

3. Extremely outdated references, fashion, and technology

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsKids today don't understand how much of an icon Shawn Hunter was.Giphy

The clothes and the landlines in the show are a serious walk down memory lane, but Boy Meets World feels old in more ways than that. (Seriously, at one point the Matthews family receives a telegram, which was a stretch even for the 90s.)

Boy Meets World, at this point, almost represents a completely different way of life. Shawn carries around a "black book" of all the girls he's dated with their phone numbers written down. The celebrity cameos are completely lost on my daughter, and often on me (I mean, the Love Boat guys, really?). But it's fun to get to explain these aspects of my own childhood to her, and she gets a kick out of it, too. The strange elements are challenging, in a good way.

As a side note: The baggy jeans are the one thing that don't look out of place anymore on the show. They're so back, baby!

4. Brave choices

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsRemember Cory and Topanga getting hitched and living in the 'married dorm'?Giphy

BMW was not afraid to pull at the heart strings, and while the plot was usually pretty formulaic, the writers were capable of shocking you.

For example, one of the main teachers, Mr. Turner, nearly dies out of nowhere! Shawn's dad abandons him to go chase after the love of his life. And a fresh-out-of-high-school Eric finds himself dating a young, single mom. Of course, one of the most memorable and shocking moments in the show is when Cory cheats on Topanga with another girl on a school trip. Can you imagine that happening in a so-called kids' show today? It's character suicide by today's standards. But they did it anyway and somehow pulled it off. That episode is heavily debated among fans to this day.

The show also played into sitcom tropes and cookie-cutter themes and lessons, but it also wasn't afraid to wade into grey areas sometimes. One of my favorite early episodes of the show to rewatch is an episode where Cory's dad lets him stay up late to watch a big baseball game with him, and a very sleepy Cory flunks a test at school the next day. Cory's dad and teacher, Mr. Feeny, then trade jabs over whether it was right or wrong. There's no clear winner, no exact right answer, just a lot to think about. I like my daughter being exposed to the idea that there's not always a clear cut solution, and I get the sense she's enjoyed that about the show, too.

Boy Meets World, contrary to its squeaky clean reputation, also has a few episodes that Disney has subsequently banned for being too racy or controversial, including Shawn shoving his girlfriend after having too much to drink. I'd like to see any modern family-friendly show have the guts to go there and turn it into a teachable moment.

5. Good adults—mostly

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsAlan Matthews belongs in the TV Dad Hall of FameGiphy

Alan, Amy, Mr. Feeny, and Mr. Turner were anything but caricatures. What strikes me most rewatching as an adult is how much I relate to and still admire the core adults in the show.

Even in a lot of modern adult sitcoms, the adults are all idiots. In kids shows, it's worse, with the buffoon dad merely there for comic relief and the mom too busy and frazzled to have any idea what's going on.

Crucially, during our rewatch of BMW, I realize that every single one of the main adults screws up at some point and has to apologize for it. They do their best, they're mostly wise and responsible, but they make mistakes, too. It's so important for kids to see that, and for my daughter to know that my wife and I are the same way.

Not everything in Boy Meets World has aged well. Even I can admit that the show has its warts.

Cory's behavior isn't always great. He can be very jealous and controlling of Topanga, and there's also this running thread in the show that they are "soulmates" and "absolutely have to be together" under any circumstances. That's an idea we would likely consider harmful or toxic today. Topanga even gives up a chance to go to Yale so that she can go to the state school with Cory, which is probably not the decision I'd like my own kids to make. The boys on the show can also be a little girl crazy, to the point that it borders on misogyny or just plain gross-ness. It also leans so heavily on nerd/jock stereotypes that it ends up perpetuating them.

But the core elements of the show: the lessons, the way it never talks down to the kids watching it, the beautiful portrayals of friendship and first love. Those are absolutely timeless.

There just aren't many shows left that even attempt to do what Boy Meets World did and the way it grew up with its audience. The closest modern equivalent I've seen would have to be Bluey. Maybe that's why the show is so beloved, because it understands what made the TGIF formula work so well and has perfectly adapted it to the modern age. It hits all five of the points above, with admirable adult characters, complex lessons, and even flashbacks to the 80s!

A skeptic might say that my daughter doesn't really care about the show, she just likes getting to stay up late and spend time together. But, now that we're deep into Season Five and showing no signs of slowing down, I can safely say that the magic is still there.

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Parents admit the biggest lie they've ever told their kids. And they're deviously brilliant.

"You don’t grow if you sleep in your parents bed."

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Parents are sharing the helpful little lies they're 'taking to the grave.'

Matt Leinart seems to have some time on his hands. A former standout quarterback at USC where he competed for a National Championship, Leinart spent seven seasons in the NFL before retiring from football. These days, he works college football games in-studio as an analyst for FOX Sports. It's a demanding job, but certainly less grueling than the rigors of being a professional athlete.

Lately, he's been leaning into his new role as a dad of three boys. "Just a Dad with a Heisman," his TikTok profile says. On his social media, you won't find a whole lot of football talk or glory days highlights. Instead, he prefers to share funny skits and musings on being a dad.

Leinart recently took to TikTok with a simple prompt: "Tell me the biggest lies you tell your kids."

"I'm not talking about Santa or the Easter Bunny," he captions the video. "I want the ones you're taking to the grave. (Don't worry I'm the only one reading the comments)"

The video quickly picked up steam on social media, racking up over 600 thousand views, and parents began chiming in. The responses did not disappoint.

@mattleinartqb

Spill… #imbored #parenting #secrets #parentsoftiktok #lies

Here are some of the best replies and, I've got to be honest, they're way more creative and devious than I ever would have expected.

1. "When new teeth grow in, I told her that they create new tastes. Now she tries to figure out which new foods she will like every time a new tooth comes in."

2. "Every single car accident we passed was bc the kids were fighting in the back seat"

3. "When their tablets need updating I have to mail it directly to Amazon and we have no clue how long it will take days, weeks or months. In reality they are in my closet and I just want them outside catching toads and bugs."

4. "I told my daughter that whenever a kid lies to their parents they eyes glow… now if she’s lying she squints at me!"

5. "All the candy at the front at checkouts is expired. That’s why it’s up front"

I always thought it was cruel that in order to leave any store, you have to walk through a gauntlet of candies and mini-toys. I can see this little lie coming in serious handy.

dads, parenting, parenthood, fatherhood, kids, funny, lies, lying, humor, teens, family, moms, motherhoodThe gauntlet parents must face before they can exit any store.Giphy

6. "They think the car doesn’t start unless their seatbelt is fastened. Facts."

7. "Our sons didn't eat cooked onions ( in casserole, etc l.). 'It's not onion. It's Japanese Clearfruit.' They cleaned their plates."

A quick Google search for Japanese Clearfruit does not yield any interesting results. Pretty clever that this parent came up with that on the fly!

8. "You don’t grow if you sleep in your parents bed."

As a dad to a 4-year-old that loves to come to bed in the middle of the night, I may steal this one.

9. "For every bite of vegetables at dinner, they could stay up 5 minutes later. But, they didn’t know how to tell time."

10. "You can only go to Chuck E Cheese if you’re invited for a party. We don’t know anyone that has had a party so…"


dads, parenting, parenthood, fatherhood, kids, funny, lies, lying, humor, teens, family, moms, motherhoodYou have to be "invited" to Chuck E. Cheese. You can't just show up.Giphy

11. "We told our daughter she couldn’t go to Disney World unless she learned how to go potty in the toilet. We told her Mickey doesn’t allow diapers."

12. "When the ice cream truck plays music, it means they’re empty."

This one came up again and again in the responses to Leinart's post. It must have been one the Gen X kids heard over and over when they were kids, to the point that it was almost mythical.


dads, parenting, parenthood, fatherhood, kids, funny, lies, lying, humor, teens, family, moms, motherhoodThe music on the ice cream truck means it's empty. Brilliant!Giphy

13. "We live on a lake and all our granddaughters know the lake doesn’t open until 9am. "

14. "That McDonalds has Sad Meals for naughty kids. My kids are still SILENT in the drive thru"

15. "I used to tell my kids the cops would pull us over if the interior light was on at night"

That dang interior light!

They're not all mean or meant to work in the parents' favor! Some lies and bits of deception help keep the magic of childhood alive.

16. "My son lost his tooth on the playground. I took one of my daughters [old ones] and we all pretended to search and magically found his tooth... in the snow"

17. "That if we saw the moon - it would follow us home to make sure we made it safely. My daughter believed this until like middle school and still talks about it"

18. "My younger brother thought that North Carolina was the windshield capitol of the world until he was in college because one time we were driving through the state during a really bad storm and he was a super nervous kid so my dad had to reassure him that we were safe because we were in the windshield capitol of the world."

The windshield capitol of the world! Now that's truly inspired, and all in the name of comforting a scared child.

19. "Dead squirrels in the road are just squirrels taking a nap."

The entire thread begs the question: Is it really OK to lie to your kids?

The answer is: it depends. Everyone is going to have their own idea of what's right and wrong.

“Usually, we are lying to our children out of kindness to them, because we don’t want them to be upset or have to deal with the awfulness of the world,” author Judi Ketteler told CNN. These are called prosocial lies, because they're meant to benefit the recipient. Lying to prevent your kids from finding out the truth about Santa Claus, or to shield them from a harsh realization about death—these are prosocial lies that are generally considered to be OK.

Ketteler adds that "lies of omission" are even more common and necessary when raising kids. It's when you tell them the truth, but leave out crucial information that may be painful for them or hard to process.

And finally, there are the selfish lies. The lies that give parents a much-needed break or help us avoid a meltdown or major confrontation we're not in the mood to have. The common ice cream truck lie, for example, can help us avoid a major standoff and the tears and screaming that will probably come along with it. At least, in the short term. Experts agree that it's probably not the best idea, and it would be healthier and more productive to set firm boundaries and stand by them instead of lying. But...we're still going to do it sometimes because it's funny, makes for a good story, and because our kids will one day lie to their kids because they're too tired to go to Chuck E. Cheese just like we were.

It's the circle of life.

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