upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
LQBTQIA+

Trans woman shares tearjerking recording of coming out to her 89-year-old grandmother

"Whoever's in there, I love."

trans visibility; coming out story; LGBTQ community; LGBTQ support; positive coming out stories
Courtesy of Jenna Tea

Trans woman shares grandmother's moving reaction to coming out

Coming out as a member of the LGBTQ community can be difficult for a multitude of reasons with one of the biggest concerns being rejection. This can make the stakes to coming out to family members feel extremely high, especially if you're very close to them. The last thing people want to do is disappoint people they love, especially when that disappointment is inextricably tied to their existence as a person.

It's no wonder people don't always come out to everyone right away but sometimes others make the decision for us by sharing private information with people we weren't ready to share it with yet. That's exactly what happened to a woman that goes by Jenna Tea on social media. Jenna is a trans woman who had not revealed that information to her 89-year-old grandmother so when someone took it upon themselves to share the news, she decided to talk with her grandmother herself.

What transpired was an interaction so beautiful that it's causing some people on the internet to break out in tears.


Thankfully, Jenna thought to record the interaction to keep for her own memories. She explains to Upworthy, "Someone in my family actually told her that I was trans and this conversation we had was the first time we ever talked about it, she was saying such sweet things and I remember thinking to myself that I wanted to remember this moment forever so I took my phone out and just started recording, she has macular degeneration so she couldn’t see that I was recording and it made for one of the most authentic wholesome moments of my life."

The audio recording is playing in the background of the video Jenna uploaded to her social media account. Pictures and videos of Jenna as a child and ones with her grandmother pre-transition in drag flash on the screen as her grandma's sweet words play.

"You have to do what makes you happy. It's something we have to adjust to and sometimes it's hard for other people but they're not living your life, you are. It's kind of their problem to readjust so the best thing is to put it out there and deal with it and it is what it is," Jenna's grandmother can be heard saying.



Being supportive isn't new for the grandmother, Jenna shares with Upworthy, "she has always been extremely welcoming and accepting of me and everyone around her. I am also a drag queen and doing drag was the way I found my trans identity! She has been to a few of my shows and she absolutely loves them and so I knew that she wouldn’t have reacted in a bad way, however I wasn’t expecting HOW accepting she would be. Out of everybody in my family she has taken it the best and it truly amazes me. I am so lucky to have the support I do in my family and the world is lucky she is in it!"

Putting together the video was extremely emotional for Jenna, she shares in her caption that she sobbed the entire time, which translated to making strangers on the internet cry.

Courtesy of Jenna Tea

"I AM IN TEARS THIS MORNING SEEING THIS — THIS IS SO LOVELY," someone writes.

"I made it to 9am before I got emotional over someone on the internet," another person cries.

"This made me sob. I have a five year old child who has internal struggles that I saw in myself at a young age. I have a deep knowing and I love them so much. We have days where they ask me if we can pretend they’re a girl and we do!! I just wanna play with them and love them forever. I’m so happy you experienced this love in your life, everyone deserves it. You made my day, thank you," one mom shares.

The support Jenna is receiving in the comments is another heartwarming layer to her story. Grandmas can seem like magic when we're little kids but watching their love and support grow as you learn who you are can be priceless.

partnerships

5 ways people are going “All In” this week

From the silliest to the most sentimental, there are so many ways people are going “all in” on the internet this week. Here are our five favorites.

True

There’s something magical about watching someone go "all in" on something. Whether it’s an elaborately themed birthday party or a home chef turning dinner into a culinary spectacle, going "all in" means total commitment—no holding back, no second guessing, just full-throttle enthusiasm. It’s not just about doing something well; it’s about diving in headfirst—often with a bit of flair and creativity (or a lot of it). To go "all in" means to be fully present in the moment and create something truly special as a result.

In this roundup, we’ve scoured the internet for the best examples of people going all in—those moments where passion, creativity, and total commitment take center stage. Some are silly, some are sentimental, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100% is the only way to truly leave a mark on this world. Buckle up—these folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

1. These new Hamilton re-enactments 

@actressbecc

a trend i can get behind

♬ Best of Wives and Best of Women - Phillipa Soo & Lin-Manuel Miranda

If you’ve been on TikTok at all in the past week, chances are you’ve come across the content creator Ashby, who’s famous for going live dressed (and in character) as the Lorax. Recently, Ashby’s been going viral for a different reason: Her hilarious reenactments of the scene in Hamilton where Alexander Hamilton sneaks out the window to prepare for his duel with Aaron Burr. In these reenactments, Ashby takes what used to be a sentimental song (“Best of Wives and Best of Women”) and hilariously reimagines it as Alexander being completely annoyed with his wife’s insistence to come back to bed.

Not only is Asbhy’s commitment to her character impressive (and laugh-out-loud funny), it’s also helped spark tons of other reenactments of the same scene across TikTok. Open the app and you’ll see dozens of other women who are also completely committed to the part—the facial expressions, the costumes, the scenery, even casting their significant others as Eliza. We have Ashby to thank for it.

2. BOGO (Buy One, Get One) bars for everyone

Another thing we like to go “all in” on? Saving money. And right now our friends at All In are giving us a fantastic deal on some seriously tasty snacks. To get a free (!!!) box of their organic snack bars, sign up with your phone number on Aisle, grab two boxes of All In bars at Sprouts, snap a pic of your receipt, and text it through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box, and then all you have left to do is enjoy your new favorite treat. Easy peasy.

3. Conrad vs. Jeremiah 

@adelaidesdetours Replying to @user2411812280930 @hannah.1.2 and I came in hot to convince @Kennedy Bilse to join the Team Conrad train. @the summer i turned pretty ♬ original sound - adelaidesdetours

First, some background: Unless you’ve been living under a rock this summer, you probably know that the show everyone’s been watching is The Summer I Turned Pretty, a series based on the best-selling books written by Jenny Han. Essentially, it’s a story about a love triangle between Isabella “Belly” Conklin and her two lifelong best friends Jeremiah and Conrad Fisher. Now on its third season, we find Belly engaged to Jeremiah despite possibly (most definitely) harboring feelings for her ex (and Jeremiah’s brother!!!), Conrad. Jeremiah’s busy at work, so Conrad takes it upon himself to help Belly with planning her and Jeremiah’s wedding.

While the jury’s still out on who Belly will end up with, fans of the show have taken to social media to make elaborate arguments on which of the boys she should pick (and, sorry Jeremiah, but everyone is mostly #TeamConrad). In our favorite video, the creator adelaidesdetours creates a multi-part, in-depth slide deck that serves not only as a deep dive into Conrad Fisher’s character (he’s guarded! He’s grieving his mom!) but also as a treatise into why Conrad is the superior choice. If that weren’t extra enough, there’s also a third part to the powerpoint about why Jeremiah is wrong for Belly. Her argument is airtight, and her commitment to the bit is impressive (she even presents this slideshow to a Jeremiah supporter at work). All we can say is: nicely done. Team Conrad all the way.

4. These nursery rhyme-inspired raps 

@kaylonpatecia Part 2 #nurseryrhyme #babyshower ♬ original sound - KaylonPatecia

Let’s be honest: We don’t usually associate baby showers with loud music and party vibes. This one, though? Seems like the greatest baby shower of all time. These videos, posted to TikTok by content creator KaylonPatecia, show how friends and family transformed her baby shower into a vocal showdown worthy of the movie Pitch Perfect. Instead of singing a capella, though, these partygoers layered G-rated nursery rhymes like “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and “Humpty Dumpty” over tracks like Juvenile’s “Back That Azz Up” and “Get Low” by Lil John and the East Side Boyz. The creativity, the planning, and the talent that went into making these almost defies belief, and this is undoubtedly a memory the entire family will be able to treasure for years.

5. This scavenger hunt marriage proposal 

@taylorarenz In honor of my brothers wedding week❤️I dare you to not cry at the best proposal ever! A scavenger hunt all through the city of Houston to her favorite places and most meaningful spots with her friends surprising her at each spot! #wedding #proposal #couples#proposalstory #marriage #viral #bestvideo #weddingtiktok #proposalvideo #surprise #fy #fyp @Pubity @Proposals Video ♬ Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston

Finally, we have one of the most unforgettable examples of going all in that we’ve ever seen—a marriage proposal. In a TikTok posted by content creator Taylor Arenz, she shows how her brother planned an elaborate scavenger hunt across Houston to propose to his girlfriend. At each stop—all locations that were meaningful to their relationship—she was greeted by a friend or family member who would present her with a pre-recorded video message guiding her to the next destination. The entire thing was filmed, photographed, and capped off with an in-person, heartfelt proposal infant of a huge “MARRY ME” sign in the pouring rain. Talk about show-stopping. Hats off to this guy, who just set the bar sky-high for everyone else planning a proposal. He definitely went all in—and since they’re married now, clearly so did she.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts.

Who doesn't love a good idiom? An idiom, for the uninitiated, is a common saying that means something different than the literal words might suggest. For example, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth," has nothing to do with horses and refers to the fact that you should be grateful and not critical of something someone has given you for free.

Idioms are weird, funny, catchy, and have an incredible ability to convey a lot of meaning in a small number of words. They often have strange or unique origins and evolve over time as they become a key part of the cultural lexicon.

idioms, endangered idioms, weird idioms, funny idioms, catchphrases, common sayings, words of wisdom, english language, words, funny "Working like a dog," is a popular idiom, even though dogs are notoriously lazy. Giphy

Sadly, not all idioms are made to last. Some of the oldest ones get phased over time as their meanings are lost, and new ones get adopted by the masses. A lot of our most famous idioms come from old English times, but newer ones like "Drink the Kool-Aid," "Jumping the shark," or even "Thanks, Obama" originated in the last few decades. (Admittedly, the line between idiom and meme is getting extremely thin).

For new idioms to arise, some old ones have to go. A research study carried out by Perspectus Global recently identified idioms that may be in danger of falling out of the English language very soon. The group asked 2,000 people aged 18 to 50 whether they used any of a list of fifty expressions.

Here are some of the best idioms that most people no longer use. Humbly, I'm begging you all to reconsider.

idioms, endangered idioms, weird idioms, funny idioms, catchphrases, common sayings, words of wisdom, english language, words, funny Please don't let these idioms die out, I'm begging you! Giphy

1. A few sandwiches short of a picnic

This one is used to refer to someone who's not very intelligent. A little like "The lights are on, but no one's home," or "Not the sharpest tool in the shed."

It's origin is relatively recent, but it just hasn't caught on; probably because it's a little mean. Fifty-three percent of respondents said they don't use the phrase and, honestly, that's a shame because I think this is a slightly nicer alternative to some of the other "stupid" idioms, and it's always fun to think about sandwiches.

2. Colder than a witch's tit

Part idiom, part simile, this one is definitely on its way out. Seventy-one percent said they don't use the phrase, which makes sense because it's a little sexist and vulgar. Not to mention, it originates from the days of the Salem Witch Trials, a time we don't remember fondly.

This one could still work in the right circumstances, though—say, on a frosty Halloween evening. "It's cold as balls," another common and vulgar idiom, is getting tired and stale. This one could be worth rotating in every now and then.

3. Know your onions

idioms, endangered idioms, weird idioms, funny idioms, catchphrases, common sayings, words of wisdom, english language, words, funny Know your onions Photo by mayu ken on Unsplash

World Wide Words writes, "It was one of a set of such phrases, all with the sense of knowing one’s stuff, or being highly knowledgeable in a particular field, that circulated in the 1920s. Others were to know one’s oats, to know one’s oil, to know one’s apples, to know one’s eggs, and even to know one’s sweet potatoes."

Sixty-eight percent of people don't use this idiom, which means it's highly endangered. I, however, think it's catchy enough that it deserves to hang around a little longer.

4. A nod is as good as a wink

In full, this idiom was originally "A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse." It's a catchy turn of phrase that indicates that a subtle suggestion or hint has been understood and that there's no need to elaborate or over-explain.

It's an old one, originating from the 1700s, but it's still useful, in my opinion, and I know more than a few people who are prone to over-explaining when a simple "nod" would do.

5. A stitch in time saves nine

Another one from the 1700s, this idiom is used as advice to deal with problems straight on and right away.

Metro UK writes, "It’s believed to have had its origins in sewing, the idea being that if you mend a small tear with one stitch, it will prevent it from becoming a bigger tear which might need more stitches–nine, in fact–to repair."

Sixty-four precent of respondents don't use this idiom anymore, but maybe they should. It rhymes and the advice is solid; that much will never go out of style.

6. I've dropped a clanger

You use this one when you've made a big or embarrassing mistake. I'd never heard of it before, but when I read it I immediately started laughing out loud.

That's a good enough reason that more than just 40% of the population should be using it regularly.

7. A fly in the ointment

idioms, endangered idioms, weird idioms, funny idioms, catchphrases, common sayings, words of wisdom, english language, words, funny A fly in the ointment Photo by VD Photography on Unsplash

Referring to an unexpected annoyance that ruins a good thing, I remember this idiom from when I was a kid. Apparently, though, it's rapidly fading from the lexicon. Fifty-nine percent say they never use it, even though it comes to us all the way from the Bible.

It was probably the inspiration for Alanis Morissette's lyric, "A black fly in your chardonnay."

8. A flash in the pan

Another one I remember from my childhood, "a flash in the pan" is still barely hanging around. It's often used to describe the equivalent of a musical one-hit wonder, i.e. someone or something that's here one day and gone the next with little cultural impact.

I always thought it had to do with cooking, like a quick burst of flame when you add oil to a hot pan, but it actually refers to 17th century muskets and gunpowder exploding. Mental Floss writes, "Sometimes, the fire wouldn’t carry on to the powder in the barrel, and a “flash” in the gun’s pan had no effect. Therefore, a flash in the pan with no projectile was much ado about nothing."

9. Storm in a teacup

Over half of people surveyed either don't use this idiom or aren't familiar with it, which really is a shame. This turn of phrase is honestly adorable and visceral!

Sometimes called "tempest in a teapot," this one means "an exaggerated uproar over a minor or trivial matter" according to Grammarist. It comes all the way from the Roman philosopher Cicero who once used the phrase "storm in a ladle." I think we can agree that teacup is cuter.

10. Dead as a doornail

I used to hear people say this one all the time, but if you pressed me now, I'd be hard-pressed to remember the last time I heard it used. The survey backs that up, with 55% of people saying they never use the expression.

The idiom was famously used in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, and according to Upworthy writer Annie Reneau, "Way back when, nails were made by hand and quite valuable. People would salvage and repurpose nails whenever they could. The way doornails were bent and driven into the backside of a door made it virtually impossible for them to be reused as a nail. ...So not only are doornails dead simply because they're nails, but because their future potential for any other use is also dead. They are doubly dead, if you will. Extra deceased."

Now that I know where it comes from, I find myself wanting to bring it back!

11. Not enough room to swing a cat

Talk about idioms you can see. This one is extremely visceral, and refers to a small space without much room to, well, you get the idea.

This is a great example of how idioms evolve over time. The "cat" in the phrase actually doesn't refer to swinging a live cat by its tail, but it's a reference to a "cat o' nine tails" whip. Dictionary.com writes, "This expression, first recorded in 1771, is thought to allude to the cat-o'-nine-tails, or 'cat,' a whip with nine lashes widely used to punish offenders in the British military."

12. Popped her clogs

We've needed a fresh death idiom for a while now. "Kicked the bucket" is so played out. "Popped her clogs," is only used by less than half of the population, making it ripe for a comeback.

Grammarist takes a shot at the origin of this strange phrase: "To work in a factory, one had to wear clogs to protect his or her feet. It was also common in those days to pawn things to help tide you over to the next payday. Another word for pawn was pop. Then there is a stretch made in the story. If you were going to die, you wouldn’t need your clogs anymore, so you would pop them. ...Though, if you were going to die, why would you need more money?"

13. Steal my thunder

idioms, endangered idioms, weird idioms, funny idioms, catchphrases, common sayings, words of wisdom, english language, words, funny Steal my thunder Photo by Leon Contreras on Unsplash

I still use this all the time, but I must be in the minority, because the research shows that over half of all people never say it.

The origin of "steal my thunder" is fascinating and weird. The story goes that a playwright by the name of John Dennis invented a machine in 1709 to use in one of his shows—the machine could create a noise that sounded exactly like a clap of thunder. Well, his play sucked and was quickly replaced by a run of Macbeth. The new production wound up using his thunder machine without permission, prompting him to proclaim, “They will not let my play run, but they steal my thunder!“

14. Cool as a cucumber


idioms, endangered idioms, weird idioms, funny idioms, catchphrases, common sayings, words of wisdom, english language, words, funny Cool as a cucumber Photo by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash

Now I'm not a big cucumber fan, but in researching these idioms I did learn that cucumbers, due to their high water content, can stay six to seven degrees cooler than the outside temperature. That makes them an extremely refreshing choice on a hot day.

Overall, I still prefer "cooler than the other side of the pillow," but the cucumber idiom is less wordy and has some fun alliteration. It deserves to be in regular circulation, but unfortunately, the data shows it's dying out.

15. See a man about a dog

Ever heard someone say this before excusing themselves to go to the bathroom? Mensa explains it: "The phrase ‘to see a man about a dog’ is an old but fairly common expression that appeared in English in the late 19th century. It is a wry excuse or mild fib declared with a wink: 'I am going out and do not want to tell you where I am going.'"

The origin is a little complicated and goes back to the days of dog racing, prohibition, and more. Sometimes it's "see a man about a horse."

In any case, I think clever quips you can use before leaving the room are always good to have in your back pocket, so this is your reminder to hold onto this one.

Photo Credit: Canva, YouTube, Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran and Rupert Grint both star in the music video for A Little More.

14 years ago, singer Ed Sheeran hilariously confused a lot of people when he released a music video for his song "Lego House." While the man singing in the video certainly looked like Ed – and moved his body like Ed – and grabbed the mic on stage like Ed, it wasn't Ed. Squint your eyes just a little, and you'll see it's actually Rupert Grint, best known as Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films.

The strawberry-haired doppelgangers could be brothers. And although the lyrics to "Lego House" appear to have been about a relationship that's dying, the video told a whole different story. In it, Grint plays a man who seems to BE Ed, as he walks around lip-syncing to the beautiful, aching song. But as we get further along in the video, we find out that in actuality, he's an obsessive fan who finally gets apprehended while on Ed's concert stage. The love story, it would seem, was between a stalker and his idol.

- YouTube www.youtube.com


The YouTube comments are, of course, filled with Harry Potter fans. Seemingly addressing Grint, one declares, "You were seen by a million Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world!"

Cut to last week: Sheeran drops the release of a new follow-up song/video entitled "A Little More" wherein, you guessed it, Grint stars as the same fan, newly released from prison where it seems he's been for the last 14 years. This time, he's haunted by visions of his nemesis look-alike EVERYWHERE. The song is an absolute joyous bop, despite the rather dark, heavy subject matter – of limerence and obsession.

But good news! The character seems to learn to live with the obsession, even meeting a woman and marrying her. This doesn't mean Sheeran is out of the picture. In a completely (to use Sheeran's word) "bonkers" moment, he appears as a second bride next to Grint during the wedding ceremony. Then, in what can only be described as a fantasy-epilogue, the two men frolic, romantically dancing with Sheeran dressed as a winter bride.

The truth is, according to Sheeran, the song is actually about an ex or just that someone who gets deeply stuck in the crevices of your mind. He also gives fans his full permission to use the song toward their exes, in whatever form that takes. He writes on an Instagram post, "Releasing something this personal always feels really bare and open, but I always find the deeper and more honest I go with lyrics, the more people connect to it. Also, who knew I looked so amazing in a wedding dress. The sound is up now if you wanna start making videos directed to your exes with the song, I wanna see em all, get creative gang."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Grint and Sheeran adorably discuss getting mistaken for one another. Grint shares a time when a famous musician actually approached him as though he were Sheeran, but claims he was too embarrassed to correct him. Someone in the comments reveals of the friendship, "The cutest thing is that now even their daughters are friends."

Even Google, ever the marketing geniuses, got in on the fun, writing in an Insta post: "Ed Sheeran – Rupert Grint… Anyone else seeing double? You may need to do a little more searching to figure this one out…"

Redditors were at the ready. In the subreddit r/popheads, the video is posted with lots of comments in just a week's time. Many are excited for Sheeran's upcoming album, Play. One fan writes, "It's so goofy and fun, I have always loved Ed Sheeran, but this goofiness mixed with the actual bop just elevated my love for him."

And this person jokes: "And just when I finally got over my confusing crush on Rupert Grint."

This Manager thinks PTO is for vacation, not "life changing events."

What does it take to be a good boss? You can answer this a million different ways—by being a clear communicator, earning employee trust, providing constructive feedback, and fostering a positive and supportive work environment while also being open to feedback and recognizing your team's contributions—but really, it all seems to stem from respecting your employees as fellow human beings.

Part of that means acknowledging that these employees have lives that are, frankly, more important to them than the job, and not penalizing them for it. One manager, and Gen Zer no less, seems to fully understand this basic principle, and folks are applauding her for it.

Elizabeth Beggs, who manages a five-person team for a packaging distribution company in Virginia, recently made a TikTok sharing which time-off requests she “rejects. ”You’ll see why “rejects” is in quotes shortly.

One example: when a female rep notified Beggs that she was likely having a miscarriage. After the team member asked how she can file for time off to see to the issue, Beggs immediately responded, “Girl, go to the doctor! We’re not submitting time off for that!”

In Beggs’ mind, PTO is for “vacation,” not medical emergencies. What a concept.

@bunchesofbeggs

Edited to clarify- 1. My team is all salary. 2. These examples are not all recent or from my current position. 3. My team works hard and hits thier KPIs above and beyond. Time off is meant to recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events #mangers #corporate #genzmanagers #sales #vetstocorporate #veterans

Beggs went on to explain a couple more situations, like when one employee—a parent—was “up all night” with their sick kid. And her last one wasn’t even negative—she had an employee who wanted to work a half-day to do something nice for their anniversary.

“Seriously, if any of these triggered anyone, then you need to evaluate how you run your team as a manager,” she concluded.

By and large, the response to Beggs’ management style has been overwhelmingly positive, and people seem to find it completely refreshing.

“You are not a manager, you’re a LEADER,” one person wrote.

@bunchesofbeggs

Everything you do should be to better your team, not to make your life easier #leadership #ownership #corporatelife #veteran #military

Another said, “The better you treat your employees, the more loyal they will be and the better work they will put out. Most people do not understand how management works.”

A few noted how this attitude seems to be more present among younger leaders. One person commented, "millennial manager here. My team members are human first, employees second. Like just go do what you want but get the work done too.”

Another joked that “Boomer managers could NEVER.”

Beggs would later clarify this doesn’t mean she doesn't have clear productivity expectations for her team (who work on salary). Perhaps if she had a team member not making their KPIs (key performance indicators), there would be an additional conversation surrounding time off, but there is still an inherent respect as a fellow human being. Which, to her, means treating bona fide time off as a way to “recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events.”

@bunchesofbeggs

If you’re planning does not account for people being human- it’s bad planning #genzleaders #armyvet #militaryvet #genz #corporatelife #corporate #manager #timeoff

Younger generations might get labeled “lazy” or “entitled,” but they are also the ones fighting to change the status quo so that we all may be treated less like cogs in the machine, and more like actual human beings. Its leaders like Beggs who show that operating in new ways doesn't compromise productivity—it, in fact, enhances it. We might not be able to change the global standard overnight, but we certainly aren’t going to get to a better place without leaders who choose to serve their community rather than a bottom line.

This article originally appeared in March.

Health

7 toxic evening habits that silently keep you stuck in life (and how to fix them)

Your evening routine might be the reason you’re not living your best life. Let’s fix that.

Woman scrolling mindlessly on her phone.

It’s the end of another exhausting day. You promise yourself that tonight will be different. Tonight, you’ll read that book collecting dust under your bed, text your friend back, or maybe even do some evening meditation to center yourself. But somehow, three hours later, you’re in bed watching TikToks about which Girls character you are, and it hits you: this feels bad. Like, really bad.

(Don’t worry, you’re in excellent company—we’ve all been there.)


scrolling, phone, addiction, evening, habits Creating healthy evening habits matters. Photo credit: Canva

Here’s the thing about evening habits: in the moment, they feel innocent and harmless, but they’re basically the psychological equivalent of termites eating away at the foundation of your life. Behavioral researchers discovered that the hours between dinner and sleep represent something called a “vulnerability window,” a time when your willpower is shot and your brain is desperately seeking comfort. Ah, the perfect conditions for self-sabotage.

Your evening routine (or lack of one) might be the reason you’re not living your best life. We’re here to fix that. Here are seven “harmless” habits that are actually holding you back—and what to do about them.


The doom-scrolling spiral

“Oh, I’ll just check Instagram for just five minutes.”

Let me know the next time that works.

To your brain, scrolling endlessly is like being in a Vegas casino with a black card—and you’ll stop at nothing to get that dopamine jackpot. With every piece of new information, your brain receives a slight boost of dopamine, creating what researchers call an “intermittent reinforcement schedule”—the exact psychological mechanism that makes gambling addictive and dangerous.



Scrolling through social media for hours can activate your threat-detection system, flooding your body with stress hormones like cortisol just when you should be winding down. Studies show regular doom-scrollers report higher levels of anxiety and trouble sleeping, creating a vicious cycle where poor sleep makes you more susceptible to negative thinking… which, of course, drives you to scroll even more.

Let’s fix this: Create a “phone parking station” outside your bedroom. Seriously. Charge it somewhere else, and place it there 90 minutes before bed. Then, replace the habit with something that genuinely interests you, like reading a book or doing gentle stretches. Oh, and before you reach for the iPad: this goes for all devices.


Bedtime procrastination

Your eyelids are drooping, but instead of pulling the covers up and going to sleep, you’re up until 2 AM doing absolutely nothing important. Welcome to “revenge bedtime procrastination,” your brain’s rebellion against a day that felt completely out of your control.


woman, sleeping, bedtime, rest, energy A woman sleeping peacefully.Photo credit: Canva

What’s going on here? Your psyche is essentially saying “I didn’t get enough personal time today, so I’ll just steal it now, at the cost of tonight’s sleep.” This phenomenon is particularly common among people with demanding schedules or those who feel they lack autonomy during the day.

However, chronic bedtime procrastination creates a cascading series of issues. Poor sleep leads to decreased cognitive performance, emotional instability, and reduced willpower, which can trap you in a "procrastination insomnia cycle", where each night of delayed sleep makes the day more stressful and the next bedtime more tempting to put off.

Let’s fix this: Create a “bedtime procrastination emergency plan.” It’s a big red button to press when you feel the self-sabotage setting in, but don’t know what to do. When you catch yourself avoiding bed, do a wind-down activity of your choice—no questions asked—like a 10-minute meditation or journaling about three things you’re grateful for.

Evening rumination

The moment your head hits the pillow, your brain decides it’s show time: replaying the day’s mistakes, imagining worst-case scenarios, and generally turning your mind into your own personal anxiety theater.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

Your brain is trying to process unresolved emotional content. Still, instead of the helpful type of processing, you’ve gotten stuck in an unproductive loop that elevates your cortisol levels when they should be at their lowest.

Let’s fix that: Your running thoughts aren’t useless; it’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you. But there’s a time and place for everything, and right now is neither. Try the “worry time” technique, which is exactly what it sounds like. Dedicate 15 minutes of the day to worrying, ruminating, plotting, and scheming. Or, keep a “brain dump” journal near your bed to offload racing thoughts without judgment.


Stress eating your feelings

You’re not even hungry, but somehow, you’re standing in the kitchen at 10 PM with a spoon in one hand and a jar of Nutella in the other, wondering how you got there.

Evening emotional eating serves multiple functions: immediate comfort, a twisted sense of reward after a difficult day, or self-soothing when your willpower has been depleted. However, using food as a primary emotional regulation strategy is just a chocolate-smeared Band-Aid, covering up the real problems and preventing you from developing healthier coping mechanisms.


Let’s fix that: Work on identifying your triggers. Why are you binge-eating late at night? Are you lonely, bored, stressed, or something else? Finding the real issue is the first step towards addressing it more healthily. Or, create a “kitchen closed” policy after 8 PM. Stick to it religiously.


24/7 work tether

Checking work emails right before bed because it will “just take a second” is like inviting your most stressful colleague to sleep over: no separation between work and private life, and it should be a workplace violation.

Research shows that employees who regularly check work communications after hours experience higher rates of burnout, and the constant mental availability prevents psychological recovery. This can lead to decreased creativity, impaired decision-making, and emotional exhaustion.


burnout, emails, work, evening, routines A woman sitting in front of her laptop. Photo by Olena Kamenetska on Unsplash

Let’s fix this: Set explicit communication curfews and stick to them. If you have to email someone after hours, use the “schedule send” function so that the email arrives during the business day. Remember: your well-being is worth more than always being available.


Perfectionism paralysis

Do you spend evening hours crafting elaborate to-do lists and researching productivity systems instead of doing things you actually want to do? Well, you are likely using the illusion of productivity to avoid the discomfort of imperfect action.

Perfectionist planning provides psychological satisfaction in “working on” goals without the risk of messy execution. But it creates an endless cycle where you’re never quite ready to begin.

Let’s fix this: Try the “2-minute rule.” If something takes less than two minutes, do it now, instead of adding it to a list.


Distraction addiction

Every quiet moment needs to be filled with background TV, music, or scrolling through your phone because the silence feels uncomfortable or anxiety-provoking. But constant simulation has the opposite effect: it prevents emotional processing and keeps you disconnected from your actual desires.


woman, phone, worried, evening, routines Constant stimulation could be stressing you out. Photo credit: Canva

Without regular stillness, unresolved feelings can accumulate in the mind and the body, leading to chronic anxiety or emotional numbness.

Let’s fix that: Start small. Try practicing “micro-stillness,” 30 seconds of silence between activities. This can look like taking three conscious breaths while moving between tasks.


The beautiful truth about small changes

Behavioral science shows that even the smallest of changes in our evening routines can create dynamic improvements in our overall life satisfaction. You don’t need to change everything all at once, simply pick one habit from above that resonates the most with your current struggles and commit to working on it for two weeks.


woman, evening, routines, habits, happy A woman enjoying her evenings again.Photo credit: Canva

As your evening energy gradually improves, you will naturally find it easier to address other patterns. Because your evenings aren’t just the end of the day—they’re the foundation for tomorrow.

Can you eat the same thing for lunch every single day?

We all know people's relationships with food varies, but many of us may not realize how vastly that spectrum differs. On one end, we have people whose entire lives revolve around food. On the other are people who genuinely don't care about it and wish they didn't ever have to think about food.

Most of us exist somewhere in the middle, but one man's lunch habits have people pondering exactly where they land on that spectrum—as well as how much their position on it is costing them.

food, yummy, delicious, eating, relationship with food Some of us love food a lot more than others. Giphy

"There's this guy in my office who brings the same lunch to work every single day: one hard-boiled egg, a scoop of rice, and half an avocado," a user on Reddit wrote. "He says it costs him about $1.25 per meal. No snacks, no drinks besides water. Just that. Every. Day."

"At first I thought he was doing some sort of minimalist diet or maybe struggling financially, but nope.." they continued, "he’s just super into optimizing his expenses. Says he’s calculated that this routine saves him over $2,500 a year compared to when he used to eat out. He meal preps it all in bulk on Sunday, packs it into identical containers, and doesn’t seem to get bored at all. Even when we order pizza or someone brings in donuts, he politely declines and says, 'Already got my lunch.'"


from Frugal

The person said they were impressed with their coworker's discipline but they could never do it because they need variety. Then they asked if anyone else goes "this hard with frugal food routines," which got people sharing their experiences with others on the extreme of the "caring about food" spectrum:

"Some people just don’t like food. They just see eating as a necessary bodily function and nothing more. I suspect that might be this guy's secret."

"I'm that guy. I used to do the same for work, and now I'm 71, and I have the identical breakfast, lunch, and dinner Monday through Friday."

"You sound like my vegan great uncle. He's in his late '70s but is healthy as a horse. He wakes up at 5:00 a.m. and walks 5 miles. He then spends 30 minutes chopping his veggies and fruits and preparing his meals for the day. For breakfast he has almond milk, oats, and fruit. For lunch and dinner he has some combination of grilled peppers, vegetables, spinach, tofu, and beans. At night he snacks on Rosemary crackers dipped in olive oil.

My mom said that he told her that he has been eating that same diet for the last 50 years."

food, eating, vegetables, cooking, nutrition Some people eat purely for health and nutrition.Photo credit: Canva

"Some people eat because they have to, not because they want to. You can usually tell because they are ones meal-prepping and eating the exact same thing the whole week. They don't want to think about food. It's the people that say 'if you give me a pill and I wouldn't have to eat, I would take the pill.'"

"I’d even take photosynthesis and have green skin if it meant I could not have to eat."

"100%. Have said before that if there was a pill I could take that was free, 100% nutritionally perfect, never leave me hungry, mean perfect muscle growth, etc, and replaced all my meals but meant that I couldn't eat regular food again, I would take it.

Some people usually agree and some others think I'm completely crazy. It is usually one or the other."

food, eating, pill, meals, relationship with food Some people would take a pill if it meant they didn't have to eat food. Giphy

While there's nothing wrong with enjoying food—cooking is an art, after all—there are several reasons people might want to explore a more detached relationship with it. For one, it can save you money, but it also might help you eat more healthfully. The Cleveland Clinic lists healthy habits and eating less (which most Americans could benefit from) as pros for eating the same meal every day. As long as you're getting some food variety for gut and nutritional health, repeating meals can simplify healthy eating while also saving time and energy.

It's also not a new concept. The ancient Stoics took a moderate and self-disciplined approach to food, seeing it as a simply a means to good health and strength. Eating slowly and mindfully, avoiding gluttony and heavy or expensive foods, and mastering the appetite as a means of self-control are hallmarks of the Stoic approach to eating. Eating the same simple, cheap, but healthy meal for lunch every day is certainly one way to live that philosophy.

food, eating, meals, lunch, food prep Simplifying our approach to food can be healthy.Photo credit: Canva

Some of us go far in the other direction, making every meal a major food event, but there's something to be said for letting food just be fuel sometimes. Letting food be unexciting can be difficult when we have an emotional relationship with eating, though. Kylie Mitchell, a counselor specializing in eating disorders, wrote that as she recovered from her eating disorder, she had to remind herself that "every meal does NOT have to be a gourmet experience." She explained how food becoming boring was a transition for her emotionally:

"As my recovery has progressed, I’ve experienced food become less and less interesting. At first, quite honestly, I felt like it sucked. What once brought me so much joy* didn’t anymore because eating satisfying food was no longer a novelty. I ate satisfying foods every time I wanted them and that brought a lot of positives: a less turbulent relationship with food, ease with eating out, and more brain space to focus on living a more whole life. All these things were good (actually they were fan-freaking-tastic), but the sensational, exuberant, flooded-with-relief feeling I once got when eating was gone. I missed that for a while because for several years eating gave me such a high** that I wasn’t getting anymore.

*it wasn’t truly 'joy' I was feeling though. It was really a sense of control that gave me a short term sense of stability over my mood.

**same as above but replace 'joy' with 'a high.'"

This isn't to say that eating can't or shouldn't be a joyful experience, but rather to acknowledge that our relationships with food can be complicated (especially in the U.S. where we have an abundance of food options). Whether we would choose to eat an egg, rice, and avocado every single day for lunch ourselves, the wide range of perspectives on food means we have a lot that we can learn from one another to create a healthy balance.