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The note said she didn't deserve her promotion. Here's her mic-drop response.

From a girl who went to MIT anyway.

gender equality, woman’s rights, women, girls, society
This story first appeared on the author's Medium and is reprinted here with permission.

Because you're a girl.

This article originally appeared on 04.14.17


I was promoted a few weeks ago, which was great. I got a lot of nice notes from friends, family, customers, partners, and random strangers, which was exciting.

But it wasn't long until a note came in saying, “Everyone knows you got the position because you're a girl." In spite of having a great week at a great company with great people whom I love, that still stung, because it's not the first time I've heard it.

Every woman who works in tech — heck, likely every woman on Earth — hears “because you're a girl" dozens, if not thousands, of times in her life.

It starts young, of course:

Why can't I join that team? Because you're a girl.

Why can't I study physics? Because you're a girl.

Then, the comments age with you.

Why can't I manage that project? Because you're a girl.

Why can't I join that group? Because you're a girl.

And after you've reached any level of attainment in a profession you love, the comments are used to minimize your success.

Why did you get that award? Because you're a girl.

Why were you chosen to participate in that class? Because you're a girl.

Like so many women before me, I have shaken off the comment.

I've gotten angry. I've gotten sad. I've doubted myself and my abilities. I've ignored it entirely. I've challenged it. I've recruited support from men and women I respect. Yet every time it stays there in the back of my mind, screaming for attention after every failure or setback.

But today is the day I've decided to change that.

I did, in fact, get the job because I'm a girl.

A girl who was called "bossy" growing up.

A girl who wasn't afraid to play with the boys.

A girl who didn't hesitate to raise her hand if she knew the answer.

A girl who stood up for other kids.

A girl who was always the first one to volleyball practice and the last to leave.

A girl who was told she was too assertive and aggressive to advance in her career.

A girl who went to MIT anyway.

A girl who asked her company to do more on diversity and inclusion and won't stop pushing until it's truly remarkable.

A girl who has made big mistakes, both personal and professional.

A girl who swings for the fences even when no one is watching.

A girl who puts in hours when other people are asleep

A girl who tells young girls how smart and strong they are.

A girl who hates to lose.

And a girl who won't stand silently while people still use “because you're a girl" as any limitation for girls who want to grow, challenge the status quo, and be something, anything, greater than society tells them they could or should.

So yeah. I guess you could say I got my job because I'm a girl, but not for any of the reasons you might think.

This story first appeared on the author's Medium and is reprinted here with permission.

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Weide shared that his wife had a particular "soft spot" for animals in need. "Our own animals were all rescues, and friends would tell her, 'If I can come back in another life, I want to be one of your animals.'" he wrote.

Linda was an actress and Weide shared some of her most memorable roles, but it's clear her role as the leading lady in his life meant the most to him.

"What a team we made," Weide wrote. "She was Gracie to my George. After we purchased side-by-side cemetery plots years ago, I asked her what she wanted her marker to say. She answered, 'I'm with Stupid.' (That request will not be honored.) Oh dear—what am I ever supposed to do without her?"

It can't be easy to wrap up a tribute to the love of your life after they pass, but Weide did it beautifully.

"They say, 'Nothing lasts forever,' but they didn't know about my love for her," he wrote. "28 years wasn't nearly long enough. Still, I may just be the luckiest SOB who ever lived. Rest well, Bunnie. I hope we'll be together again."

And finally, the perfect last line:

"For those who never knew her, I'm sorry for your loss."

Weide has been "surprised and a bit overwhelmed" by how people have responded to the obituary, but he's thrilled that so many people are getting a glimpse of

"I love that total strangers are confessing to tears and saying they can tell what a beautiful person Linda was. The fact that so many are getting a small taste of what I blessed with for 28 years is so moving," he wrote on Twitter. "Many of the comments have made me cry, some make me laugh...Others make me shout, 'Yes, yes!'"

"Anyway, my deepest appreciation to everyone who's taken the time to read or ❤️ or comment on the tribute," he continued. "You have made this new widower feel a little less lonely. And I know Linda sends her love, too.”

Thank you, Bob Weide, for sharing your love story with the world. It seems you were right—we all would have loved Linda.

Read Weide's obituary in full here. And if this story compels you to do something to honor Linda's life, Weide suggests making a donation to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, her favorite animal shelter.


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