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word fun


People share how badly named things should be renamed and it's an absolute riot

Contractions = "birthquakes" and jet skis = "boatercycles."

Dentures really should be called substitooths.

Language is a fascinating thing to explore. Where words come from, how things are named, the way sayings and slang are constantly being invented—it's all great fun to plunge into.

But sometimes a deep dive into words and language reveals missed opportunities as we contemplate what a thing should be called instead of what it is.

Reddit user johnnylgarfield asked, "What is badly named, and what is a better name for it?" and hoo boy did the wordsmiths deliver.

Anything that could have "Otto" in it should

"Otto Preminger wrote his own biography and failed to title it Otto-Biography.

Once in a lifetime pun, and he just threw it away." – hippo717

"I saw an automatic car wash with the name "Otto's automatic carwash"

The fact it wasn't called an ottomatic carwash still hurts me." – ShadowVader

man riding on a jet ski

Man taking a "boatercycle" out for a spin.

Photo by Yuriy Bogdanov on Unsplash

Alternate names for everyday things that we should seriously consider

"I keep seeing people say that contractions should be birthquakes." – ssssobtaostobs

"Dentures. Should be Substitooths" – donkeyknuckles

"Any bacon alternative that is not named Fācon is an abomination." – RitaPoonismysister

"Jet ski. Dumb name. Obviously it is a Boatercycle." – KYbywayofNY

"Hemorrhoids should be asteroids obv." – UncleDuude

"Olives should be Greece’s Pieces." – rmg18555

Words that just shouldn't be the way they are, on principle

"Abbreviation should be a much shorter word. Dyslexia should also be easier to spell."– Masked_Daisy

"Lisp" shouldn't make me lisp." – rhaegar89

"And why isn't palindrome a palindrome?" – slimfastdieyoung

"Why is a fear of palindromes aibohphobia?!?" – 1nonspecificgirl

"The same reason the fear of big words is hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia." – redwolf1219

"The word for your condition is also your exposure therapy!" – quaffee

butterfly on a flower

A beautiful flutterby.

Photo by Calvin Mano on Unsplash

How about two things that should simply be swapped?

"I'm not the first to say it, but 'pick-up artists' and 'garbage men' should swap titles." – GGAllinPartridge

"A driveway should be a parkway and a parkway should be a driveway." – scottcmu

"And cookies and bacon should switch since you bake cookies but cook bacon." – cwx149

"Butterflies should be Flutterbys." – genderlawyer

A whole thread just for the weather folks

"Weather forecast is boring. Weather prophecy is awesome." – dire18

"Atmospheric foretelling." – uneducated_sock

"Precipitation Prognostication" – VonBrewskie

"As the atmospheric oracles have foretold, 'tis raining." – Shi-Rokku

"Meteoracles*" – HauntedHippie

"You mean the skyentists?" – illfygli

a group of crows on a stone wall

"Murder of crows" can stay.

Photo by Qurratul Ayin Sadia on Unsplash

And everyone's favorite, the naming of animal groups

"Why is a group of squid called a shoal when it should be called a squad?" – xdark_realityx

"A squid squad? Nice.

A crow crew

A whale wall

A swan swarm

A bat batch

A lobster cluster

and of course

A group of groupers" – loopywolf

"Cloister of oysters" – itsmarvin

"A Murder of Crows. It should be a CawCawphony." – EscapedCapybara

"A murder of crows goes so unfathomably hard tho, it can stay." – mrspuffispeng

"The committee on groups of bird names are the best in the business. They put everyone else to shame. Murder, curiosity, charm, kettle, mural, cast, parliament. Why even compete?" – remeard