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Pop Culture

Man's dating advice to find the guy who will 'guide you through death' is striking a chord

"Yeah, muscles are cool, but can he sit in the hospital for six hours?"

This is a real life partner litmus test.

We all know that dating can be confusing, disappointing, and...all things opposite of romantic, essentially. That goes especially when we conflate trivial preferences (you know, 6’5”, blue eyes, finance type stuff) with traits that actually align with our values. In other words, when we forget that the criteria for a fling differs from that of a life partner.

As for finding the former, a man named Davi has some pretty solid advice. While it’s geared towards women who are seeking husbands, you can easily apply this PSA to anyone looking for long-term love. The reasons will be pretty obvious, though fairly macabre.

“Your husband will literally have to guide you through the death of both of your parents, so choose that man wisely,” Davi begins in a clip posted to TikTok. “Like, yeah, muscles are cool, but can he sit with you in a hospital waiting room for six hours without making it about his fantasy football team?”

dating, dating advice, relationships, relationship advice, finding the right guy, life partner, grief, green flags"Yeah, muscles are cool, but can he sit with you in a hospital waiting room for six hours without making it about his fantasy football team?”Photo credit: Canva

The “real test,” Davi argued, isn’t based on aesthetics, but on whether or not you can “trust them to talk to your dad’s doctor when you’re too overwhelmed to do it yourself…and help you through it.”

He even noted that while positive communication, like sending “good morning texts,” and cutesy novel things like “matching Halloween costumes” are still important, they are trumped by how a partner is able to help you during grief.

“It’s, ‘Hey I called the funeral home so you didn’t have to do it. That’s trustworthy. That’s a quality to look for.”

Keeping this question in mind can help you “start figuring out what really matters” and “being picky about the right things,” Davi says, rather than being distracted by what someone looks like. Of course, physical attraction has its place, but as we know, that is the most superficial and changeable quality of a person, and therefore not always the best way to determine a true life partner.

Davi then brought it home with a warning, saying, “One day, life is gonna body slam you with grief, I promise you. And the guy who only brings vibes is gonna fold like a lawn chair.”

dating, dating advice, relationships, relationship advice, finding the right guy, life partner, grief, green flags“One day, life is gonna body slam you with grief."Photo credit: Canva

Again, this can apply to anyone, but it certainly touches on a common dilemma that many women have lamented about male partners who don’t pull their own weight during challenging circumstances. While they are often referring to childcare, this brings a whole new layer to consider.

“If you find a man who can hold you up when you’re going through it, hold onto that for dear life. Because love isn’t built on butterflies and your little checklist. It’s built on the guy who brings snacks, tissues, and doesn’t flinch when the hard stuff shows up.” Davi concluded.

The video, which has racked up nearly five million views, has certainly struck a chord, and has been met with an overwhelmingly positive response—from people who noted that it "changed their brain chemistry” to women who shared gratitude for having this kind of partner in their lives.


“OMG I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS”

“Excellent advice! This man is going to be your emergency contact.”

“Fall in love with how he treats you, not the muscles.”

“My husband was my rock through the loss of my parents, sister, and our son. Yes. Pick the right man.”

“My dad just passed away and he was there EVERY step of the way. I am so thankful for him and happy to endure all of life’s challenges with him.”

Yes, it's a bleak and uncomfortable scenario that no one relishes having to think about, and certainly not on anyone’s top of mind when it comes to romance, but nonetheless, grief is a big part of life. It’s something none of us want to endure alone. The right partner can make those difficult moments a little easier to navigate, so, as Davi rightfully prompted, choose wisely.

Internet

Therapist lists 'green flags' women look for when visiting a potential partner's home

There's something about a guy who isn't afraid of period products.

Therapist lists 'green flags' to look for when visiting date's home

When looking for a potential mate people often talk about the different types of "flags" that can be present. Generally, red flags mean you should stop or proceed with caution while watching for other red flags, while green flags are a sign of positive things. Jeff Guenther, LPC goes by the name of TherapyJeff on social media.

The therapist recently asked the women in his audience about "automatic green flags" they look for when visiting a man's apartment for the first time. They do not disappoint. Guenther takes the top 12 answers and compiles them into a list to help out his fellow guys who may be struggling.

Seemingly predicting that some men may swipe away, he informs them that these are changes they can make before the day is over. The list is quite simple and may encourage people to attempt to have at least one of them available in their home before their next date.


Coming in with something that seems unassuming, Guenther says guys should install a bidet.

"12, a bidet. Buy one online and hook it up to your toilet, ladies love it but it will also change your life forever. Trust me," the therapist says.

The list includes other simple things like a throw blanket on your couch, a hairless bathroom counter, and sheets that are any other color outside of black or navy. Judging by the comment section, women are not only appreciative of Guenther taking the time to compile a list but they're also adding additional green flags.

Would you add anything to the list? Check it out:

@therapyjeff

Green flags women look for when entering a guy’s place for the first time. #mentalhealth #therapy #relationshiptips #datingadvice #dating #greenflags

"BAR SOOO. LOW. If one of my female friends couldn't check all of these boxes I would question their sanity. But collectively most sis[sic] hetero dudes have kept the bar so low that these are green flags," one woman complains.

"This list is fascinating (omg why is there never a trash can in the bathroom!!)," another woman says.

"It's a green flag for me when they have like, any sort of personal items on display. Like cards, framed pictures, decorations or gifts, souvenirs, etc...reminders of good times/friends/family," someone writes.

"A book clearly in the process of reading (either real or ebook). Library card in a visible place–GOLD flag," another person shares.

Several men in the comments are excitedly expressing that they didn't know they were already giving off all these green flags based on the list. Some talk about being passionate cat dads while at least one man was anxiously awaiting Godzilla figurines to make the list. Overall it seems that nearly everyone in the comments was appreciative of the list and who knows, maybe he'll do one for green flags guys should look out for.

Man interviewed by Meet Cutes NYC is a walking green flag

When dating someone we are often told to look for red flags that help us know that this person may not be the best partner. Recently, there's been a push to start looking for green flags, which are signs that the person you're dating will make a good partner. Green flags can be really subtle things and in a recent interview on the Meet Cutes NYC account on TikTok, one guy shows so many green flags he's got people questioning if they're on the wrong dating app.

Meet Cutes NYC uploads videos of them stopping random people who appear to be couples and ask them if they are indeed dating. Joaquim and Tara happen to be the lucky couple to get stopped for an interview and immediately Joaquim emits green flag energy according to TikTokker Jordan_the_Stallion8.


"Firstly, he was doing the sidewalk rule by where you'r supposed to walk on the outside part of the sidewalk that's facing the street while your partner walks on the inside part. Secondly, as they're walking and someone approaches them, immediately he gets protective, he gets defensive," Jordan says. "He was defesive until they were asked a question about how they first met and then the excitement that he had because he had the opportunity to talk about his partner."

People in the comments of the original video were also gushing over Joaquim's reaction and responses. When the couple mentions they met on Hinge, a popular dating app, people started to wonder what Hinge the couple were talking about. Some even going as far as to demand that the app use them in their marketing campaigns.

"Dude went from aggressive to lover boy," someone writes.

"He was so New York in the beginning and then turned to a puppy talking about his love, protect that man," another says.

"This man, is THE man. Sidewalk rule, protective until threats assessed, and proudly in love. King," one commenter recognizes.

"Am I on a different Hinge or what," someone jokes.

"Hinge marketing team better do something with this for real," a commenter declares.

@meetcutesnyc

Love’s Refreshing #meetcute #hingepartner #hinge #howcouplesmeet #love #nyc #streetinterview #foryou #foryoupage #fyp

It's beyond clear that Joaquim loves Tara even telling the interviewer, "I have no idea how I lived all these years without her." The couple seem extremely supportive and proud of each other and now they've got an entire internet community rooting for their continued success.