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Family

Drew Barrymore gets honest about the 'hard choice' she made with her kids and smartphones

Every parent faces this challenge.

via The Drew Barrymore Show

Drew barrymore talks to her audience about smartphones.

It’s understandable for parents to put off giving their kid a smartphone ‘til the last moment possible. Because it can be the moment they change from a happy, carefree tween to a teenager whose face is constantly stuck in their phone.

A smartphone exposes them to all the dangers of social media and is connects them 24-7 to a device that manipulates them on a biochemical level. Further, recent research has shown there is a “fairly robust” consensus among academics that smartphones are linked to the rise in teen depression, loneliness and self-harm.

No wonder many parents are thinking twice about getting their kids a smartphone.

In a video recently shared by The Drew Barrymore Show, the daytime TV host revealed the struggle she’s having with her daughters, Olive, 11, and Frankie, 10, who are asking for smartphones.

“A lot of parents are giving their kids phones at very young ages, and it’s just access to everything,” Barrymore told her audience. “It’s really tough. I’m like very overwhelmed.”

Drew Barrymore on the challenge of parenting kids who want cellphones 

@thedrewbarrymoreshow

@Drew Barrymore on the challenge of parenting kids who want cellphones 🤳 #parents #parentsoftiktok #parenting

But even though she’s under extreme pressure from her kids, Barrymore is standing her ground. “I’m not going to give up. I’m not going to give in. I haven’t let my kids have phones yet,” she told the audience as it broke into applause.

Barrymore’s struggle with telling her children “no” is one that every parent faces.

“It’s amazing to have wanted so badly for my kids to love me and to love their environment and feel safe...None of us want our children to resent us,” she continued. “And we don’t want to be their enemy. It’s such a hard choice to say, ‘I don’t care if you hate me for this. I don’t care if you’re mad at me for this. I know that I am doing the right thing by you and I accept your anger.’”

“Nobody wants their kids to be angry with them. It’s not a great feeling,” she continued. Barrymore also understands that, as a parent, it’s easy to have a weak moment and give in because toeing the line can be tiresome. “I have to find the courage every day not to give in,” she said.

But in the end, Barrymore understands that every parent and child is different and that those who have bought their kids smartphones shouldn’t feel bad about the decision. “And by the way, if you’ve given your kids phones and you’re doing the hands up, you’re not wrong. There is no right and wrong. It’s just a hard thing to navigate,” she said.

The post went viral, attracting over 860,000 views and nearly 1300 comments. Many sent messages of support for Barrymore and those who share the same dilemma. "If your child is never mad at you, you aren't doing your job," Cheriek wrote. "Thanks for adding the last statement. I have told so many people that. There is no right or wrong on how you are raising your children." Julia Belgraves added.

How old are kids when they get their first smartphones these days? According to Common Sense Media, 42% of kids have a phone by age 10, 71% by 12 and 91% by 14. Unfortunately, there is no consensus on the right age to give a child a smartphone. Jerry Bubrick, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute says it depends on the child's maturity. “I tell parents that it’s not so much about a particular age as it is about a kid’s social awareness and understanding of what the technology means,” Dr. Bubrick told Child Mind.

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Drew Barrymore explains why she opts for experiences instead of Christmas gifts for her kids

'I just feel like a better gift would be a life memory.'

commons.wikimedia.org

Drew Barrymore's kids don't expect to see presents underneath the tree.

Christmas time is here again, and along with it can come the stress of purchasing gifts. This probably goes double for parents with young children. Whether it’s the latest toy, tech or item of clothing, there’s an overwhelming amount of stuff that people can be pressured to purchase to see faces of their loved ones light up.

However, actress and talk show host Drew Barrymore would argue that perhaps what’s more important than physical gifts during the holiday season is creating lasting memories.

In an exclusive interview with ET, Barrymore shared a fairly unconventional Christmas tradition—rather than spotting Christmas gifts under the tree, her two daughters (Frankie, 8, and Olive, 10) go on a trip every year.

Barrymore admitted that at their age, not getting presents was a bit of a hard sell. But she continued to affirm the importance of her decision, telling them, “I think we'll remember the place and the photos and the experience and that's what I want to give you.”

She also clarified with ET that "they get plenty of things throughout the year, so I'm not like some weird, strict, cold mom who's like, 'You don’t get any gifts!' I just feel like a better gift would be a life memory. I'd rather invest [in that than in] a doll house or something. It all evens out and it's fine."

There’s no rigidity in the plan—over the pandemic when travel restrictions were at an all-time high, Barrymore did offer Christmas gifts. And unprecedented global events notwithstanding, she still prefers to keep things open to change.

"[I try] to remember that one holiday won't be probably the same as one 10 years from now, that your life can dramatically change, and new people and new traditions can come into it," she said. "I like looking at the holidays through a comedic, realistic lens of, ‘we're gonna have a lot of different holiday stories. What one do you want to keep going and build as a tradition?’ Rather than, 'this is my tradition and I'm stuck in it.'"

Obviously, for many people, buying trips is even less financially feasible than buying presents. But the real point that’s illuminated through this story is that focusing on experiences can be just as rewarding (and many times more rewarding) than getting stuff. The pressure to spend money during the holidays is real, but what’s more important is making memories with the people who matter most. Especially in our modern world where everything moves at a mile a minute and carving out quality time is a difficult task. Luckily, that doesn’t have to cost a penny.

Even people who are extensively wealthy are choosing to invest in Christmas differently. Recently a successful CEO made headlines for sharing that she only gives her children one gift each year, and uses the rest of the money to provide gifts to other kids who might go without a gift. Odds are, those kids will remember learning how to embody kindness and generosity long after the shiny newness of whatever gift they got has faded.

It can be hard to not feel as though Christmas gifts will somehow make the day feel more Hallmark Channel-worthy. But it’s true that presence is a precious gift unto itself, and simply being there with loved ones might be all it takes to get that warm, fuzzy Christmas feeling.

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