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'Sleep training' is a heated debate in the parenting world. It shouldn't be.

Any parent who takes a definitive stance on sleep training needs to understand a few things.

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Photo by RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Parents debate whether it's wrong to sleep train babies.

Welcoming a new baby to the world is a wonderful but daunting experience, and no matter how much you try to prepare, there will always be something you aren't fully prepared for.

For many parents, that thing is lack of sleep.

You can hear parents talk about exhaustion and sleep deprivation and still be wholly unprepared for what a baby who isn't a great sleeper does to to your psyche. It's no surprise that many parents turn to parenting books and "experts" to try to figure out how to get their babies to sleep, which is where the idea of "sleep training" comes in.

Sleep training is a broad term for teaching or training a baby to go to sleep (or back to sleep) without needing to be soothed by a parent or other caregiver. There are many sleep training methods that range from fairly common sense to borderline abuse, which is one reason it seems to spark big debates between parents. Everyone's talking about a different method when they defend or vilify sleep training.

Sleep training usually involves letting a baby fuss or cry for some length of time, which some see as problematic because of research on the importance of responding to babies' cries. Others say that a little crying is a small price to pay because it's healthier in the long run for baby and parents to get good sleep.

Of course, there's a huge difference between "crying or fussing for a few minutes" and "wailing and screaming with no end in sight," and that's where the big disconnect comes in. For some parents, sleep training entails the former, and it works, so they swear by it. For others, it entails the latter, and it's a nightmare, so they think it's horrible.

There's also a huge difference between "I'd love it if my baby would sleep all night without waking" and "I think I might die if I don't get a 4-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep." Desperation makes many parents who might not love the idea of sleep training to give it a go.

I have some personal experience with this. My first baby wasn't a great sleeper. I remember thinking, at six weeks postpartum, "There's no way a person can survive on this little sleep." I adored my baby, but the sleep deprivation from waking up several times a night for weeks on end felt like literal torture.

She started sleeping through the night when she was a few months old, but that didn't last long. Teething happened. Then crawling happened. It seemed like just when she'd get into a nice sleep routine, some milestone would throw us right back to waking up and crying multiple times a night. She slept in our room next to our bed, so it was easy enough to nurse her back to sleep, but it was still night after night of disrupted sleep.

I was desperate to try something, but I wasn't keen on the idea of sleep training. It's a natural instinct to respond to your baby's cries, so walking away didn't feel right. One book had suggested leaving the baby in their crib to cry by themselves and not pick them up no matter what. If they got so upset that they threw up, you were just to clean them up and do the same thing again. Um, no thank you.

But I had heard other parents say they tried different sleep training methods that involved leaving them to cry for just a few minutes, going in to pat/comfort them, leaving them again for a little longer, and going back and forth until they eventually fall asleep. I read so many parents say something like, "It took like 15 minutes of fussing for them to fall asleep the first night, 5 minutes the second and after that they just went right to sleep and didn't wake up until morning!"

baby sleeping If only all babies slept this peacefully.Photo by Yan Krukau/Pexels

That sounded reasonable. So I tried it, a couple of times.

It went nothing like how those parents described. Not even close.

First of all, my baby did not "fuss." It was full-on crying, wailing and screaming with snot and drool involved. Secondly, there was no patting her to calm her down—she would only calm down if I picked her up. Third, the wailing when I left the room didn't ever subside, it only got worse and worse. I felt like I was torturing my baby and it was breaking my mama heart, so we gave it up.

I have no doubt that those parents were telling the truth about how sleep training worked with their child. It just absolutely did not work that way with mine.

That baby is now 24 and has slept in her own bed all night for over two decades. My other two kids had their own sleep personalities as babies—one of them super easy and the other more like my first. I didn't do anything different to make them that way—it's just how they were. It was hard sometimes. We co-slept as needed. It all worked out in the end.

There are a few things I know for sure after parenting three kids and talking with countless other parents:

1) Every baby, child and family is different and what works for one won't necessarily work for another. As long as no one is actually being abused or neglected, do what works for your kid and your family.

2) Anyone who offers definitive, one-size-fits-all advice on any part of parenting is flat-out wrong. One size most definitely does not fit all.

3) Sleep is important, but unless you've slept a night in their bed, don't judge a parent for how they choose to handle sleep with their baby. What's right for you may not be right for them.

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Want your home to be 'the house' for your teens? Mom shares her 4 tips to make it happen.

Don't mistake being "the house" with being the "cool house."

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood
hi.im.amywhite/Instagram

Amy White explains how her house became "the house" for her teens.

I grew up in "the house." In high school, my home was the designated place where my friends gathered, sometimes in big groups, sometimes just my small core squad. My three best friends spent the night there almost every Friday and/or Saturday night for four years straight. We devoured Totino's frozen pizzas by the dozen, inhaled soda, and laid waste to any snacks or leftovers that were brave enough to survive in the kitchen. Not only that, but my house was pretty small — four teenage boys took up a lot of space in the living room (the whole thing) and made a lot of noise playing video games deep into the night. It must have driven my parents and older brothers crazy. It's a wonder anyone put up with it.

Or so I thought when I was younger. When I became a parent myself, I started to understand a little more why my mom and dad were so willing to host and feed all my friends and me every single weekend. Why the outrageous grocery bill and constant chaos in the house were probably a small price to pay.

Mom explains how to make your house 'the house' where teenagers hang

One mom has perfectly encapsulated the value of turning your home into "the house" for your kids and their friends, and exactly how she did it for her family.

teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teens hanging out in a living room.via Canva/Photos

Amy White shared a reel on Instagram showing her college-aged son hanging in her dining room with a group of friends playing cards. The text overlay reads "What makes your kids' high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break." I think most parents can agree that we want our kids to keep coming home as long as possible! So how exactly did White pull this off?

Her explanation in the caption was spot-on.

First, White says that you have to start early. Become "the hang out house" in high school or even earlier. Then you have a better chance of holding onto the mantle into your kid's college years.


Next, be ready to stock the house with snacks and drinks, and don't make a fuss when your kid's friends have at it. "The kids knew we had food," she writes, "BUT they also knew I didn't care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge."

Third, and this is a big one, don't mistake being the "cool house" for being "the house." Some parents choose to allow their underage kids and friends to drink alcohol under their supervision, but you don't have to bend your morals and the law to lure the squad over to your place. Pizza and Coke is plenty to keep most teens happy. "We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!"

teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teenagers eating pizza.via Canva/Photos

Fourth, always say Yes (as often as possible, anyway) when your kids want to have friends over. "They know my answer is 99% of the time YES," White writes. "You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was 'open' to their friends in high school, they know it will be 'open' to their friends in college."

As a bonus tip, White pleas with parents not to worry about the mess having friends over makes. "I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house 'clean.'"

Should parents allow teens to drink at home?

There's an age-old debate over whether parents should allow teens to drink at home because it's better than if they do is unsupervised or keep their home dry as a bone. A recent study out of the University of Buffalo found that kids who grew up drinking at home had a greater chance of having addiction problems when they got older. "A robust relationship was found between parental permission to use alcohol during adolescence and increased alcohol use frequency and quantity, alcohol use disorder symptoms, and alcohol-related harms in young adulthood," the study says.

White writes, "It's worth being 'the house', so let go of control & get to know your kids friends." Commenters agreed.

White's video went viral to the tune of 8.5 million views and hundreds of comments. Parents shared their own experiences of what it's like being the default hang out house.

"Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays"

"A wise man once said don't be the house with the alcohol. Be the house with the food."

"Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it"


teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teenagers eating pizza.via Canva/Photos

"We never allowed alcohol, drugs, bad language, always respectful, and guess what, our house was always the house where the kids hung out. First my daughter, then my son. Through grade school, high school, then when my kids went out of state for college their college friends would come spend a couple weeks during the summer. I always thought of it this way, I loved knowing my kids friends and, who knows, maybe some of those kids, especially during the younger years, just maybe those kids just needed an adult to care. Anyway, it was always fun to have them here!"

"It used to crack me up when my daughter would bring over a bunch of her friends (girls and boys) in high school and instead of hanging out in the family room they all wanted to crowd into either the kitchen with me or our tiny office and happily share all the gossip with me."

Experts say that knowing your kids' friends, and their parents, can have huge benefits. Not only will it bring you the peace of mind of knowing where your kid is and who they're with when they get to those crucial high school years, it has been shown to tangibly improve kids ability to create positive relationships and problem-solve collaboratively. Plus, it can actually be really fun! Kids and teens are the funniest, silliest, most interesting people on the planet. Having a house full of them is messy and loud, but it's always a good time.

One caveat: "don’t feel bad if your house isn’t the chosen house," one commenter reminds us. "Just be happy your kid has a good group of friends and be thankful they have somewhere safe to hang out."

This article originally appeared last year.

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Couple with unfortunate last name hilariously mourns the baby names they couldn't use

Kudos to the parents for thinking this through.

babies, baby names, kids, parents, parenting, names, naming babies, moms, dads, motherhood, fatherhood, family
Photo credit: Canva

A couple laughing and a baby crying.

Naming your baby is a really special experience that can help shape who they become, honor the legacy of close friends and family members, and carry personal meaning through symbolism. It's a hard process to get just right, and unfortunately, there are a lot of horrible ways it can go wrong.

One couple with a rather unfortunate last name recently took to social media to playfully mourn all the names they "absolutely can't" use for their impending baby.

Quince and Zach have built a following of more than three million people across Instagram and TikTok, where they share relatable, funny content about life as young parents to a two-year-old daughter, with another baby on the way.

There's just one problem for Quince and Zach, and it's their last name: Cox.

There's nothing wrong with Cox on the surface; it's a perfectly normal and respectable last name. It wasn't until the couple started brainstorming names for their soon-to-be baby girl that they realized Cox was, let's say, problematic.

In a hilarious post on Instagram, the couple recently shared a lengthy, exhaustive list of names they immediately knew would be a no-go:

  • Holden Cox
  • Anita Cox
  • Harry Cox
  • Sawyer Cox
  • Sharon Cox

Check out the fantastic, tongue-in-cheek post here:

More than 400,000 people interacted with the viral post, including thousands of comments from people eager to share their own close calls with unfortunate baby names.

"Maiden name was Dix. I'm now a Cox. I wish I was joking," wrote Shenai Cox.

"My maiden last name is cox. Definitely couldn't hyphenate with my husband. His last name is Oancea (pronounced want-cha) want-cha cox? No thank you," another user wrote.

"My last name is Muncher soooo..." wrote Amber Muncher.

There were even a few people who could only wish their parents had shown the same foresight as Quince and Zach.

Harry Wang, a commenter, wrote, "Wish my parents though like that," before adding, "It's a part of me now, gotta wear it with pride."

In any case, the public service announcement was much appreciated by all:

"As a former cox (maiden name) more people need to be this aware some Cox’s are shockingly blase out here about what they are naming their kids," someone wrote.

In part two of the post, Quince added more names to the cross-off list and revealed why she couldn't hyphenate her last name after getting married.

"I mean we could always hyphenate my maiden name 'Pullen'" she joked in the caption before officially eliminating Hugh Cox, Olive Cox, and Ophelia Cox.

You may laugh, but variations of Olive are some of the most popular names in America.

A few labor and delivery nurses even chimed in on Quince's post to voice their support, saying they wished more parents would be mindful of names that could one day humiliate their children.

There are more ways a name can go wrong than just having phallic undertones. There could be easy rhymes, embarrassing abbreviations, or even an unfortunate "first initial, last name" combination that makes emailing an unpleasant experience for a child one day. Nurses who meet babies all day, every day have seen some horror stories:

@issabelvictoria_

Baby names are so fun🥰 #nicunurse #neonatalnurse #nursesoftiktok #newgradnurse #newgradnurses #nursetok #nursingschool #nursetiktok #nursing #fyp #nurse

While there are only a handful of names that are strictly illegal in the United States—depending on the state, you may have trouble naming your baby Hitler, Santa Claus, or King—parents are urged to take precautions against names that could make life difficult for their child.

Some helpful methods include saying the name out loud (both the full and shortened versions), spelling it out, checking the initials, and watching for embarrassing nicknames, to start.

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People share 36 of the most beautiful first names they've ever heard

"It just sounds so melodic."

names, name tag, beautiful names, beautiful name, pretty names
Image via Milan Radulovic's Image

A list of the most beautiful names.

There is a lot of pressure to name a baby the absolute *perfect* name. And for many, the goal is to come up with a seriously beautiful name that is unique-sounding—a name that will stick with you forever.

Looking through baby names lists can help. But to get more ideas on beautiful names, a person posed the question on Reddit: "What’s the most beautiful first name you’ve ever heard?"

The crowd-sourced name-inspo led to a detailed and distinctive list of beautiful baby names, with many noting that the majority were for baby girls. "I love that 90% of these are women's names, meanwhile men are like this is my boy Daryl," one commenter joked.

These are 36 of the most beautiful names people can think of:

"I saw a best guy employers name tag: Orion." - spaceshiplazer

"I used to know a woman called Isis, thought it was beautiful to be named after a goddess, now its just unfortunate." - ShireNorse

"I knew two Muslim sisters back in the 4th grade. One was Neda and her sister was Nezerine. I have always thought Nezerine was one of the prettiest names I have ever heard." - a-passing-crustacean

"When I was a kid I was obsessed with 'Swan Princess' and I thought the name Odette was beautiful lol idk if it’s even real." - messyowl


odette, name odette, swan princess, swan princess gif, odette gif Princess Odette Girl GIF by The Swan Princess Giphy

"My sister's childhood friend's grandfather's name was Diogenes. He was a very nice old bloke too, so maybe I just associate the name with a friendly face. Nonetheless, it's both a strong name, and a beautiful name." - MrSlipperyFist

"Met a guy who said his name was Levi. Eventually I noticed he had a tattoo of a sea dragon. I asked him about it, and he told me it was for his name, because Levi was short for Leviathan. Coolest name ever." - Weird-is-norm

"My therapist's name is Althea, I think it’s so lovely." - FroggySpirit

"Vivienne - I find the French spelling the prettiest, it just sounds so melodic." - Looktothecookiee

"Genevieve in French pronunciation, like Genevieve Bujold (actress) is a fantastic name." - FlamingoRare8449

"I knew a woman named Eleanora which sounds so beautiful when pronounced by Italians." - CursingWhileCrafting

"Tbh most of the flower names like: Dahlia, Iris, Rose, Jasmine, Lily, Ivy, Alyssa." - frizzyno

rose, rose name, rose gif, pretty rose, roses Rose GIF Giphy

"Violet." - garythegyarados

"Met an Italian girl named Alessandra. That was 30 years ago and it's still in my brain as the most beautiful name I've ever heard." - Mothman

"Isildur." - Few_Image7673

"Aurelia." - worstnameIeverheard

"Evelyn is so pretty to me." - 1mALittl3N0tStraight

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"'Derry Girls' made me absolutely love Orla." - sarathev

"Noelle. 'Her name is Noelle I have a dream about her she rings my bell'." - Special-Strategy7225

"'Sailor Moon' made me fall in love with Serena. I also really like Celeste, Aria and Evangeline (no one but me seems to appreciate the last one lol). They were on my short list of baby names but I went with another fav." - endoftheworldvibe

sailor moon, sailor moon gif, sailor moon name, sailor moon names, sailor moon anime sailor moon GIF Giphy

"The Māori name Anahera." - lizzietnz

"Seraphina. Heard it at coffee shop and it stopped me dead. Sounds like angels and fire rolled into one." - Twisted_Metalx

"Leilani was always pretty to me." - MathTutorAndCook

"There are so many, but I’ve always loved ‘Aurora’ ......it sounds magical and brings to mind the dawn and the northern lights." - Special_You_7103

"River Phoenix most beautiful name I heard." - Mona_Mour__

river phoenix, river phoenix, gif, river phoenix name, river, river name river phoenix 80s GIF Giphy

"Adelaide, my Mama's name." - Cantretiresoonenough

"Clementine." - iamnotasheep

"Lydia. I just love it for some reason." - Beautifulone_2


This article originally appeared last year

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A self deprecating quote about success attributed to Abraham Lincoln beautifully defines loyalty

It's a beautiful way to reframe how we think about commitment.

abraham lincoln, president abraham lincoln, president lincoln, abraham lincoln quote, abraham lincoln quotes
Photo credit: Canva

President Abraham Lincoln'.

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, was full of wisdom. His pursuit of knowledge remained steadfast throughout his life.

"His ambition was a little engine that knew no rest," Lincoln's law partner said of him, according to the National Archives.

Although his life was infamously cut short by assassin John Wilkes Booth on Friday, April 14, 1865, his words continue to inspire people years after his death. One of Lincoln's most famous quotes about how he achieved success centers on his reliance on loyal friendship and is twinged with self deprecation:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down."

There has been some debate about whether Lincoln really said this—and there are no historical documents confirming he did. However, the attribution has stuck.

Showcasing Lincoln's humor, the quote represents how Lincoln relied on friends and the strength and encouragement he received from them during personal hardships and his political career to carry him through.

There are many examples from Lincoln's life that support the importance he placed on his friendships. One example came from Illinois businessman, G.S. Hubbard, who said about Lincoln: "We were thrown much together, our intimacy increasing. I never had a friend to whom I was more warmly attached. His character was nearly faultless. Possessing a warm, generous heart, genial, affable, honest, courteous to his opponents, persevering, industrious in research, never losing sight of the principal point under discussion."

abraham lincoln, abe lincoln, abraham lincoln photo, president lincoln, president abraham lincoln Abraham Lincoln portrait by Alexander Gardner in 1865.Photo credit: Canva

One of Lincoln's closest friendships was with a man named Joshua Speed, who befriended Lincoln long before his presidency back in Springfield, Illinois, in 1837. According to Smithsonian Magazine, Speed helped the future president make it through two "serious, suicidal bouts of depression."

Lincoln battled depression throughout his life, notably after the start of his political career in the mid 1830s, and in 1840 when he shockingly broke off his engagement to Mary Todd, with whom he would later marry in 1842 and welcome four sons.

By 1846, Lincoln was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives and was deemed one of the most successful attorneys in Illinois. However, "Lincoln still suffered from bouts of depression, sorrow over the death of his son Edward Baker Lincoln, and disappointment after two failed runs for the U.S. Senate," according to the National Park Service.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

However, Lincoln was also buoyed by friends, especially during his run for president. One in particular was David Davis, a circuit judge who met Lincoln in Illinois while he was still a practicing attorney.

"The two became close friends, and Davis worked diligently as Lincoln's campaign manager at the 1860 Republican nominating convention in Chicago. Along the way, Davis went from a circuit-riding lawyer to a U.S. Supreme Court Associate Justice and maintained a long-time friendship with Abraham Lincoln," according to Davis's website.

And it was Lincoln's sense of humor that helped him through his darkest times and drew friends to him. Lincoln's longtime friend from Illinois, lawyer Thomas W. S. Kidd, wrote of him: "He enjoyed a joke or good story, and possessing an inexhaustible fund of both, they were ever at hand or within reach when occasion required them for his own or the amusement of his friends. They certainly attracted to him more friends that stuck to him, whether on the calm or stormy side of life, than any other influence he could use to draw them."

Lincoln's quote on friendship highlighted the president's sense of humor and humility and shows that without friends and the support of others, his success may not have been possible.

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Gen Z is the first generation less cognitively capable than their parents but Denmark has a solution

"Since the late 1800s, every generation has outperformed their parents."

Gen Z; Millennials; technology; cell phones; social media; teens and technology; teens social media
Photo credit: Canva

Gen Z is the first generation less cognitively capable than their parents. Denmark has the solution.

Nearly every parent hopes their child will be better off than they are: smarter, more secure, and more well-adjusted. Many parents see this as a stamp of successful parenting, but something has changed for children growing up today. While younger generations are known for their empathy, their cognitive capabilities seem to be lagging behind those of previous generations for the first time in history.

Dr. Jared Cooney Horvath, a teacher turned cognitive neuroscientist who focuses on human learning, appeared before Congress to discuss concerns about cognitive development in children. In his address to the members of Congress, he says, "A sad fact that our generation has to face is this: our kids are less cognitively capable than we were at their age. Since we've been standardizing and measuring cognitive development since the late 1800s, every generation has outperformed their parents, and that's exactly what we want. We want sharper kids."

kids, intelligence, sharp kids, generations, education, cognitive abilities Student smiling in a classroom, working on a laptop.Photo credit: Canva

Horvath explains that the reason this happens is that each generation has gone to school longer than the previous generation. Gen Z is no exception to the longer duration of time spent in school, but they're the first ones who aren't meeting this normal increase in cognitive development. According to the cognitive neuroscientist, the decline is due to the introduction of screens in the classroom, which started around 2010.

"Across 80 countries, as Jean was just saying, if you look at the data, once countries adopt digital technology widely in schools, performance goes down significantly. To the point where kids who use computers about five hours per day in school for learning purposes will score over two-thirds of a standard deviation less than kids who rarely or never touch tech at school," Horvath reveals.

In most cases, the decline in performance doesn't result in better strategies. The neuroscientist shares that the standardized testing has been adjusted to accommodate lower expectations and shorter attention spans. This is an approach that educators, scientists, and researchers went to Capitol Hill to express wasn't working. But not every country is taking the approach of lowering standards to meet lowered cognitive ability. Denmark went in the opposite direction when it realized their students were slipping behind.

France24 recently interviewed educators in Denmark following their seemingly novel approach to students struggling with cognitive development. Since the beginning of the 2025/2026 school year, Denmark has not only been having students turn in their cellphones, but they've also taken tablets, laptops, and computers out of the classroom. No more digital learning for the majority of the school day. Danes went old school by bringing back physical textbooks, workbooks, and writing assignments. The results have been undeniable. Even the students can't seem to deny the success of the countrywide shift in educational approach.

"I think the biggest issue has been that, because we kind of got rid of the books and started using screens instead, that we've noticed that a lot of the kids have trouble concentrating, so it's pretty easy to swipe with three fingers over to a different screen and have a video game going, for example, in class," Copenhagen English teacher, Islam Dijab tells France24.

Now, instead of computers being part of every lesson, Denmark uses computers very sparingly and with strict supervision. One student says that it has been nice not having screen time at school because she loves to read and write. But it wasn't just the lack of attention span children were developing, they were also developing low self-esteem and poor mental health due to the amount of time spent on devices.

kids, intelligence, sharp kids, generations, education, cognitive abilities Students focused and ready to learn in the classroom.Photo credit: Canva

The data showing the negative impact of screens on teens' brains has prompted a nationwide change in Denmark that extends outside of the classroom. Afterschool activities are eliminating or extremely limiting electronic use. There is also a national No Phone Day that encourages everyone to put away their devices for the day, and Imran Rashid, a physician and digital health expert, is petitioning parliament to ban social media use for children under the age of 15. The no phone movement in Denmark is a nationwide effort that hopes to right the ship before another generation feels the effects.

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