Sick of picture-perfect social media posts, a mom got real about the chaos of parenting.

Every parent has been there.

The sink is overflowing with dishes. Legos cover the entire floor, piercing your foot every time you take a step. And you suddenly realize that you've made the kids chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese five nights in a row.

Every parent has moments where it all seems to be spinning out of control.


But this isn't momentary chaos. It doesn't mean everything is unraveling. Turns out this might just be a normal part of parenting.

Mom and blogger Danielle Silverstein recently made an "admission" on Facebook: "I really AM a hot-mess mom."

The post, on her page called Where the Eff is My Handbook?, detailed a seemingly never-ending list of the ways in which her household is in utter shambles.

"Never once have I thought to myself, 'OMG, I think I’m actually tackling this whole parenthood thing,'" she wrote.

She continued:

"I am that mom who doesn’t do dishes at night before I go to bed. I do dishes when I get around to doing dishes.

I’m that mom who grabs her kids’ clothes out of the dryer in the morning because nothing is folded and put away.

I’m that mom who forgets to send in forms and gets calls reminding me that, yes, I need to send in those forms.

I’m that mom who forgets to RSVP and gets a last minute text asking if my kid is coming to the party.

I’m that mom who packs a crazy, one-food-group lunch because I haven’t gotten around to going food shopping.

I’m that mom who lets her kids have endless screen time sometimes (ok, more than sometimes) just because I don’t feel like fighting and need to get a few things done."









You can read the entire hilarious and all-too-familiar post below:

Ok, full disclosure: I really AM a hot-mess mom.I am consistently five steps behind where I should be in the world of...

Posted by Where The Eff Is My Handbook on Thursday, January 25, 2018

Near the end of the now super-viral post, Silverstein reaches an important realization.

"Do I think I’m a good mom? Yeah, I really do. But I don’t have it all together by any stretch of the imagination," she writes. "And that’s ok, I’m realizing."

Because, despite the overflowing sink and the overdue paperwork, raising happy, healthy kids is what it's really all about:

"I’m also that mom whose kids are safe.

I’m also that mom whose kids are, for the most part, happy.

I’m also that mom whose home has lots of love and laughter.

I’m also that mom who cheers on her kids and is their biggest fan.

I’m also that mom who is constantly working to show her kids they are accepted no matter what.

I’m also that mom who takes her kids to do cool stuff and have great experiences.

I’m also that mom who loves being a mom."











The post has racked up thousands of shares and comments from other parents who want to say, "YES! THANK YOU!"

The truth is that it's never been harder to be a parent. All the usual stuff is still there — the dirty diapers, the tantrums, the picky eaters — but in the age of social media, when every other parent seems to be totally nailing it, the pressure to be "perfect" has never been higher.

Silverstein says enough is enough.

"We don’t deserve to feel down on ourselves," she writes in a Facebook message. "We deserve to feel celebrated. Our job is damn hard."

(That's not an excuse to not try, never feed your kids a single vegetable, or let them get away with whatever they want! But if you have some off-days, you're forgiven.)

We need less carefully filtered Instagrams and more brutal honesty. Silverstein's post was a much-needed rallying cry for moms she calls "hot messes," but in reality are just overworked and under-appreciated.

So let's all raise a glass (or a haphazardly washed sippy cup) to all the parents out there barely holding it together. This one's for you.

Several years ago, you wouldn't have known what QAnon was unless you spent a lot of time reading through comments on Twitter or frequented internet chat rooms. Now, with prominent Q adherents making headlines for storming the U.S. Capitol and elements of the QAnon worldview spilling into mainstream politics, the conspiracy theory/doomsday cult has become a household topic of conversation.

Many of us have watched helplessly as friends and family members fall down the rabbit hole, spewing strange ideas about Democrats and celebrities being pedophiles who torture children while Donald Trump leads a behind-the-scenes roundup of these evil Deep State actors. Perfectly intelligent people can be susceptible to conspiracy theories, no matter how insane, which makes it all the more frustrating.

A person who was a true believer in QAnon mythology (which you can read more about here) recently participated in an "Ask Me Anything" thread on Reddit, and what they shared about their experiences was eye-opening. The writer's Reddit handle is "diceblue," but for simplicity's sake we'll call them "DB."

DB explained that they weren't new to conspiracy theories when QAnon came on the scene. "I had been DEEP into conspiracy for about 8 years," they wrote. "Had very recently been down the ufo paranormal rabbit hole so when Q really took off midterm for trump I 'did my research' and fell right into it."

DB says they were a true believer until a couple of years ago when they had an experience that snapped them out of it:

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If the past year has taught us nothing else, it's that sending love out into the world through selfless acts of kindness can have a positive ripple effect on people and communities. People all over the United States seemed to have gotten the message — 71% of those surveyed by the World Giving Index helped a stranger in need in 2020. A nonprofit survey found 90% helped others by running errands, calling, texting and sending care packages. Many people needed a boost last year in one way or another and obliging good neighbors heeded the call over and over again — and continue to make a positive impact through their actions in this new year.

Upworthy and P&G Good Everyday wanted to help keep kindness going strong, so they partnered up to create the Lead with Love Fund. The fund awards do-gooders in communities around the country with grants to help them continue on with their unique missions. Hundreds of nominations came pouring in and five winners were selected based on three criteria: the impact of action, uniqueness, and "Upworthy-ness" of their story.

Here's a look at the five winners:

Edith Ornelas, co-creator of Mariposas Collective in Memphis, Tenn.

Edith Ornelas has a deep-rooted connection to the asylum-seeking immigrant families she brings food and supplies to families in Memphis, Tenn. She was born in Jalisco, Mexico, and immigrated to the United States when she was 7 years old with her parents and sister. Edith grew up in Chicago, then moved to Memphis in 2016, where she quickly realized how few community programs existed for immigrants. Two years later, she helped create Mariposas Collective, which initially aimed to help families who had just been released from detention centers and were seeking asylum. The collective started out small but has since grown to approximately 400 volunteers.

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Two weeks ago, we watched a pro-Trump mob storm the U.S. Capitol in an attempt to overthrow the results of a U.S. election and keep Donald Trump in power. And among those insurrectionists were well-known adherents of QAnon, nearly every image of the crowd shows people wearing Q gear or carrying Q flags, and some of the more frightening elements we saw tie directly into QAnon beliefs.

Since hints of it first started showing up in social media comments several years ago, I've been intrigued—and endlessly frustrated—by the phenomenon of QAnon. At first, it was just a few fringey whacko conspiracy theorists I could easily roll my eyes at and ignore, but as I started seeing elements of it show up more and more frequently from more and more people, alarm bells started ringing.

Holy crap, there are a lot of people who actually believe this stuff.

Eventually, it got personal. A QAnon adherent on Twitter kept commenting on my tweets, pushing bizarro Q ideas on many of my posts. The account didn't use a real name, but the profile was classic QAnon, complete with the #WWG1WGA. ("Where we go one, we go all"—a QAnon rallying cry.) I thought it might be a bot, so I blocked them. Later, I discovered that it was actually one of my own extended family members.

Holy crap, I actually know people who actually believe this stuff.

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Images via Canva and Unsplash

If there's one thing that everyone can agree on, it's that being in a pandemic sucks.

However, we seem to be on different pages as to what sucks most about it. Many of us are struggling with being separated from our friends and loved ones for so long. Some of us have lost friends and family to the virus, while others are dealing with ongoing health effects of their own illness. Millions are struggling with job loss and financial stress due to businesses being closed. Parents are drowning, dealing with their kids' online schooling and lack of in-person social interactions on top of their own work logistics. Most of us hate wearing masks (even if we do so diligently), and the vast majority of us are just tired of having to think about and deal with everything the pandemic entails.

Much has been made of the mental health impact of the pandemic, which is a good thing. We need to have more open conversations about mental health in general, and with everything so upside down, it's more important now than ever. However, it feels like pandemic mental health conversations have been dominated by people who want to justify anti-lockdown arguments. "We can't let the cure be worse than the disease," people say. Kids' mental health is cited as a reason to open schools, the mental health challenges of financial despair as a reason to keep businesses open, and the mental health impact of social isolation as a reason to ditch social distancing measures.

It's not that those mental health challenges aren't real. They most definitely are. But when we focus exclusively on the mental health impact of lockdowns, we miss the fact that there are also significant mental health struggles on the other side of those arguments.

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