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'Severance' actor dedicates historic Emmy win to his 'tough' first acting coach—his mom

"Do the work, show up, and most importantly, for the love of God, don't embarrass me in public."

severance, apple tv, emmys, celebrity news, tramell tillman, britt lower ben stiller, awards shows, pop culture

via Gabriel Hutchinson Photography/Wikimedia Commons

Short. Sweet. Perfect.

Tramell Tillman, aka Mr. Milchik in Severance, might have made Emmy history for being the first Black man ever to win Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series…but he’s also in the running for best acceptance speech ever. As Tillman took to the stage, he began by quoting: “‘You remember what you want to remember. You make time for what you want to make time for. Do the work, show up, and most importantly, for the love of God, don't embarrass me in public.’”

Then, he cheekily added, “My first acting coach was tough, y'all. But all great mothers are.” That's right, Tillman’s acceptance speech became a heartwarming tribute to his mother, who also happened to be accompanying him that night.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Mama, you were there for me when no one else was, and no one else would show up. Your loving kindness stays with me, and this is for you.” Tillman then concluded, “Thank you to the Academy. I am full. I am humbled. I am honored. And as my mama would say, ‘OOOOO Look at God!’” That’s it–short, sweet, personal…about as close to a perfect Emmy speech as you could get.

In a previous interview with amNewYork, Tillman shared that it was his mom who encouraged him to get into acting to overcome his shyness. Because of her, his first acting role came in the form of a one-line part in a Christmas play. And from there "something clicked,” Tillman said.

With that tidbit in mind, it makes all the more sense that Tillman would dedicate his win to the woman who started it all. That wasn’t the only iconic Severance moment at the awards show. Britt Lower, who plays Helly, took home the award for Best Lead Actress in a Drama Series.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

While her acceptance speech was rather normal (celebrating the talents of the other nominees, thanking her Severance cast and crew, etc). But then, as many eagle-eyed fans spotted, the words "LET ME OUT" were written in all caps on the back of the paper Lower read from. This was an awesome Easter egg referring to something her character did in Season One. Iykyk.

In addition, the series took home the following additional wins:

Outstanding Production Design for a Narrative Contemporary Program (One-Hour or More)
Outstanding Title Design
Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series (One Hour)
Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Original Dramatic Score)
Outstanding Cinematography for a Series (One Hour)
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series: Merritt Wever

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Craveable snacks. Quality organic ingredients. Positive community impact.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

When people decide to go “all in,” something special usually happens as a result, and we’re here to show you how. This week, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in” across the Internet—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Follow along and feel inspired.

Hamilton superfans

@itz.unique POV: You seen Hamilton the first night in theaters #hamiltonmusical #fyp #relatable #hamilton ♬ original sound - Uniii 😜

You already know we love a good Hamilton reenactment. This past weekend, though, Hamilton fans took their love for the musical to a whole other level. As theatres released the filmed stage production in honor of the musical’s tenth anniversary on Broadway, theatre kids everywhere showed up in costume and belted out every single word (it’s okay to sing in the theatre this time, by the way! Hamilton creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda totally said we could). Some theatres sang along quietly, some chimed in loudly at the emotional parts, and some theatres truly went all in, staging elaborate reproductions of the scenes in the aisles, in time with the music. A bunch of theatre kids totally nerding out together, having fun, and celebrating good art? We love to see it.

Everyone's love of Pumpkin Spice Lattes

@deangelodbyrd It’s hereeee 😂🍂 #pumpkinspicelatte #fall2025 #funnyvideo #silly #funnydance @Starbucks ♬ original sound - DeAngelo

You know it's fall when you start seeing those plastic cups everywhere. That's right—it's Pumpkin Spice Latte season. Everyone is drinking them. Everyone is posting about them. Everyone is figuring out the perfect PSL pairing, whether that's pumpkin spice matcha lattes or just drinking a PSL curled up on the couch watching some spooky movies. (How about all of the above?)

Here's our recommendation: Pumpkin spice lattes pair perfectly with All In snack bars—specifically the Madagascar Vanilla + Almond option. It's got honey, it's got pumpkin seeds, and it's even got tons of fiber so you're getting some nutrition along with all the deliciousness. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This rendition of the Happy Birthday song

@kamoramakaylee Happy 84th birthday to our dad #tbt ♬ original sound - Kamora

There’s singing the Happy Birthday song, and then there’s singing the Happy Birthday song. This group of sisters did the latter. For their father’s birthday, they presented him with a cake (aww) and then launched into an embellished musical production of the last two lines that would put Whitney Houston to shame. The girls truly went all in, but perhaps the best part of this entire video is their dad,sitting wide-eyed at the table and gritting his teeth until the performance is over. (“He’s fine,” someone said in the comments section. “He lost his hearing ten birthdays ago.”)

Llama costumes

@kristeninmn Some of the costumes from the Minnesota State Fair’s 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest! #minnesotastatefair #mnstatefair #exploremn #onlyinmn #stpaulminnesota ♬ Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Every year at the Minnesota State Fair, the 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest steals the show. In it, participants dress their llamas in wildly imaginative costumes—everything from a sea anemone to a bucket of popcorn to Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story—and transform the livestock barn into a whimsical runway. Every glittery cape, hand-painted prop, or themed outfit is a testament to their creativity, their time and effort, and most importantly their love for animals. All of it is on full display and it’s seriously impressive work. You can tell when it comes to their animals (and creativity), Minnesotans don’t hold back.

This dog who's totally faking it.

@binkythechichi2
The king of drama
♬ original sound - cass

Okay, you have to give this guy some respect—he really doesn’t want his owner to go to work and he’s found an absolutely genius way of showing it. As soon as her alarm goes off in the morning, TikTok creator Cassidy Butler shared that her chihuahua Binky runs to the front door and actually starts faking injuries to get her to stay home with him (and sometimes, she admits, it works). Binky is absolutely committed, holding up his paw as though it were injured, plus shivering and even squinting one eye to show just how injured he is. He’s almost perfectly convincing—until Cassidy offers to take him outside to play and he momentarily breaks character. Oops! Still, we respect his dedication to the craft.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

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A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here's why.

Old footage from the '50s shows men, women, and children wearing hats everywhere they go.

via Warmbru Curiosity/YouTube

When did everyone stop wearing hats?

It was everywhere. Men, women, and even children did it every time they left the house. If you see old newsreel footage of men in the office or on commuter trains from the advent of the motion picture camera to the early ‘60s, nearly everyone is wearing a hat. Hats were just as common for women in that era. For a woman to go out without a hat in the first half of the 20th century was akin to going out without clothes.

The funny thing is that everyone’s headgear is so similar in the old-timey footage that it makes previous generations look like big-time conformists. Then, in the early ‘60s, everything changed, and men and women started to go out in public with their hair exposed. Why did such a big aspect of fashion seem to change overnight?

Warmbru Curiosity investigated the question recently in a popular YouTube video. Warmbru’s channel is a lighthearted look at some of the more unusual people and events from our history and how they have influenced the world in which we live.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Why did people stop wearing hats?

Warmbru says fashion changed dramatically after World War II, when people in developed countries began to care less about expressing their social status. “This was especially true among the younger generation the rise of youth culture in the 1950s and 1960s emphasized rebellion against traditional norms, including formal dress codes,” the YouTuber says.

Mad Men, Don Draper, Jon Hamm, hats, mens fashion, men's hats, 1950s Don Draper from AMC's "Mad Men" Image via "Mad Men" AMC

Another big reason for the change in fashion was technology. Cars became the preferred mode of transportation for many after World War II and indoor environments became more hospitable. “People spent far less time exposed to the elements as people increasingly moved to urban areas and started using cars,” Warmbru says. “The practicality of wearing hats diminishes. Hats can be cumbersome in cars and on public transport, improvements in heating and air conditioning reduce the need for hats to provide warmth.”

Warmbru adds that President John F. Kennedy, elected in 1960, rarely wore a hat and his decision to go bareheaded became associated with modernity. Further, in 1963, the mop-topped Beatles proudly flaunted their hatless heads as they shook them while singing, “Wooooo.” Hat-wearing among women began to decline around the same time as the restrictive and complex headgear clashed with the burgeoning women’s liberation movement.

Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, hats, men, men's fashion, 1960's, 1950's John F. Kennedy with his family Image via Wikicommons

The decline in hat purchases meant that manufacturers closed and the headgear became harder to come by. This reduced availability further contributed to the decline in hat-wearing. As fewer people wore hats, there became a greater demand for high-quality hair products and services. “Why spend a fortune at the hairdressers or the barbers just to cover the end result with a hat?” Warmbru asks.

Ultimately, there were many reasons why people stopped wearing hats. It appears that it was a combination of technology, influential people such as Kennedy and The Beatles, and the overwhelming mood of change that swept most of the Western world in the 1960s. But if one thing is true about fashion, it goes in cycles. So, it seems that hats may be ready for their big comeback.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Levi Strauss Foundation

The Levi Strauss Foundation advances the human rights and well-being of underserved people in places where the company has a business presence

How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

True

Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Gen Alpha is revolutionizing slang in ways that even Gen Zers find confusing

There's a reason their slang words seem meaningless.

Photo credit: Canva

Some of Gen Alpha's slang terms are as nonsensical as they sound.

As a Gen Xer, I have vague memories of adults getting confused looks on their faces when my fellow youth uttered phrases like "That's totally rad" or "Gag me with a spoon." Slang has always befuddled older generations—in fact, that's a primary feature of slang as a phenomenon—but something about slang is shifting with Gen Alpha.

There's a lot of overlap with Gen Alpha (born after 2010) and Gen Z slang, of course, with both using terms like "sus" (suspicious), "no cap" (no lie), "mid" (mediocre), and "bet" (sure, I agree). Some Gen Alpha slang is pretty fun, using terms like "rizz" (charisma), "aura points" (likeability), and "sigma" (good/cool) to describe people's positive qualities. But Gen Alpha has also started coining slang that is unique in that it seems to have no real meaning at all, which is even confusing to some Gen Zers.

skibidi toilet, gen alpha, slang, generations, culture Skibidi toilet Giphy

My Gen Z daughter and I were walking by a playground one day when a kid around maybe 9 or 10 years old shouted out, "Skibidi toilet!" in our direction. If you're wondering what that means, don't bother. It doesn't mean anything, literally. It has an origin in a bizarre video series, but no meaning. Another nonsensical Gen Alpha-ism at the moment is "6 7." Not "sixty-seven," just "six seven." Why? It apparently originated from the song "Doot Doot (6 7)" by the rapper Skrilla, which alludes to a basketball player who is 6'7", but the phrase itself, when used by Gen Alpha, doesn't really mean something specific. It's just something they randomly say.

What's with the nonsensical slang? While slang may seem confusing outside of the generation that coined it at first, slang words generally have a specific meaning that can be gleaned. With Gen Alpha, it appears that specific slang has no meaning—simply saying this nonsensical slang is a way to signify being part of the "in-group." In other words, the kid yelling "skibidi toilet" wasn't making a direct insult, but rather it was essentially him saying, "I'm young and you're old, and I'm going to confuse you with this nonsensical slang term to reinforce the fact that I'm young and you're old."

gen alpha, tweens, kids, slang, playground Gen Alpha are today's elementary schoolers and middle schoolers.Photo credit: Canva

Linguist and cultural expert at Babbel, Esteban Touma, tells Upworthy that part of what makes Gen Alpha's slang different is the fact that they were born into a world with a fully formed online culture.

"Gen Z still has some members who can recall a time before social media, and many Millennials remember a time before the Internet even existed," says Touma. "Gen Alpha simply doesn’t have that frame of reference."

As a result, most Gen Alpha slang originates in online games, social media, and meme culture, spawning and evolving at lightning speed compared to older generations.

gen alpha, tweens, kids, slang, generations, online culture Niche online culture is influencing Gen Alpha's slang more than previous generations.Photo credit: Canva

"Previous generations had to almost 'agree' on what was going to be slang because pop culture was more monolithic," says Touma. "For example, we as Millennials had to watch Anchorman or Napoleon Dynamite, agree they were funny movies, and take our slang from there. But now, each pre-teen and teenager has their own microcosm of culture in their pocket. And because the platforms that are pushing culture forward are fast-moving–like Twitch and TikTok–a phrase can go viral in a matter of hours. Gen Alpha also shows less attachment to traditional spelling and grammar, giving their language and slang a lower barrier to entry than previous generations."

Yaron Litwin, CMO at Canopy Parental Control App, tells Upworthy that Gen Alpha's slang expressions can be "ephemeral, purposefully misspelled, and heavily ironic." Some refer to meaningless slang like "skibidi" and "6 7" as "brainrot" humor, where the absurdity and nonsense are the entire point.

One possible underlying reason nonsense slang appeals to Gen Alpha is that everyone now spends a lot of time online. Since we're all online, adults are catching on to youth slang more quickly than they used to. There are even teachers who share what slang is currently popular among kids, making it harder for it to remain with the "in-group."

@mr_lindsay_sped
Which one is gonna live longer? #67 or #41 ? #genalpha #genalphaslang #teachersoftiktok

If older folks can't figure out what these terms mean, they'll give up on trying to use them, which helps the slang retain its purpose as a youth culture identifier. Slang already comes and goes quickly thanks to the Internet, but keeping it confusing also keeps grownups from ruining it.

"The slang is driven by algorithms which are constantly in flux," Litwin says, "and when a word or expression becomes too popular, especially as it is picked up by older generations, it becomes 'cringe' and fades away—at least for Gen Alpha."

Using slang that is nonsensical and meaningless, or that has such obscurely ironic usage that it's hard to know how to use it, makes it less likely that cringy adults will start using it.

Well played, Gen Alpha. So very sigma of you.

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30 musicians came out of nowhere on the streets of Paris and began performing 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

Truly the most insane and inspiring flashmob EVER.

@juliencohen_pinao/TikTok

Oh to have been there to witness it IRL.

Just when you think you’ve heard every amazing "Bohemian Rhapsody” cover imaginable—from standout AGT performances to spontaneous crowd sing-alongs to haka renditions—this one literally comes out of nowhere. And it’s every bit as exciting, magical, profound, and inspiring as the OG.

On the streets of Paris, window shutters open to reveal three women clad in white who begin to sing, “Is this the real life…” in a way that can only be described as heavily Disney-coded. A pianist appears seemingly out of nowhere. Then another singer from another window. And another. Then, a blonde man in a horse drawn carriage comes down and belts out “Mama, just killed a man…” so good you just know it made Freddie Mercury smile wherever he is now.

Oh, and did we mention the 11-year-old who absolutely shreds a guitar solo??

See on Instagram

These are just some of the 30, yes, 30 musicians and singers that came to deliver a truly epic flash mob performance of Queen’s signature rock ballad. Really, this was something between a flash mob and immersive theatre. Wow.

To say the clip has gone mega-viral would be an understatement. In under 24 hours, the clip has received over 30 million views across TikTok and Instagram. Of course, most viewers expressed more than a little FOMO.

“Could you imagine seeing this? Like omg I’d be freaking out.”

“This is tremendous, and I am so envious of those who witnessed it in real life.”

“Flash mob of healing vibes 😍”

“This right here is what Queen WANTED.”

See on Instagram

Perhaps it should come as no surprise that Julien Cohen, the pianist in the video and mastermind behind this epic flash mob, was able to pull off such a once-in-a-lifetime collaboration. After all, his entire social media is dedicated to outstanding duets with talented musicians…many of which have also gone viral. And, if someone invites you to come to Paris to be part of a “Bohemian Rhapsody” flash mob, are you really gonna say no?!

Among the star studded line up are Michael Spence, aka Mickey Castillo (lead singer) and Olly Pearson (second guitar), both of whom competed on Britain’s Got Talent. Fittingly, Castillo often got compared to the late, great Freddie Mercury by BGT judges. Pearson also played Queen’s "Don't Stop Me Now" while on the show.

Other performers include:

DDKN: A French pop group consisting of sisters, Stella, Nounée, and Anouche, known for angelic harmonies. They were the first three singers.

Sone & Coline Sicre: Made up the pop choir near the piano.

Michaël Koné: The opera singer who belted out “I’m just a poor boy” and gave those amazing "Galileos."

Martin Pennec: Came out of nowhere with those drums.

Axel Thomas & Paul Pasmanian: On the second guitar and bass guitar.

And then there's the operatic choir, who really help bring Cohen’s artistic vision come to life (and Mercury's, for that matter):

August Chevalier

Michel El Ghoul

Emmanuelle Jakubek

Lisa Chaïb-Auriol

Alessandra Rizzello

Lejeune Céleste

Nicolae Hategan

Romain Jurmande

Aside from being such an auditory delight, part of what makes “Bohemian Rhapsody” so incredibly compelling is how it brings people together with connecting threads of pure, raw emotion. This group handled both those elements so well, and the result is not only a celebration of one of Queen’s most beloved works, but of humanity as a whole—how good it feels to create with one another, and to physically witness art being made. Truly, this could not have come at a better time.

@juliencohen_piano The most INSANE Bohemian Rhapsody Flashmob you will ever see!! With 30 musicians and singers in the streets of Paris 😍 Lead singer: @Mickey Callisto Lead guitar: @GuitarOlly First 3 singers: @✨ DDKN ✨ Pop choir: @ddkn.off @Sone and @coline sicre Counter-tenor solo: @michaelkonesaki Second guitar: @Axel Thomas ♬ son original - Julien Cohen

Excuse me…off to go listen to this for the 20th time.

Expert reveals the one question to ask to make a great first impression in 9 seconds

There should be one focus when you meet someone new.

via Canva/Photos

A woman talking to people she just met.

It’s essential to make a great first impression with someone, whether it's a job interview, buying someone a drink at a bar, or serving someone a meal at a restaurant. The problem is that people form a concrete judgment of someone in just seven seconds, which can be incredibly hard to shake.

“Human beings are built to size each other up quickly,” Psychology Today says. "These first impressions are influenced by a number of factors, such as facial shape, vocal inflection, attractiveness, and general emotional state. People tend to get attached to their initial impressions of others and find it very difficult to change their opinion, even when presented with lots of evidence to the contrary.”

While it can feel impossible to combat such a snap judgment, Sally Hogshead says that when we interact with people for the first time, we should only have one question on our minds: “How can I add value to this person?” Hogshead is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speakers Association Hall of Fame speaker, chief executive officer of How to Fascinate (Fascinate, Inc.), and a former advertising executive.

introduction, first imrpession, business card, networking event, handshake, eye contact A man handing a woman his business card at an event.via Canva/Photos

Ask yourself: How can I add value to this person?

It makes sense. When someone meets you for the first time, they don’t know anything about you. The other person is asking themselves the big WIIFM: What’s in it for me? It feels a little negative to suggest that everyone is out for themselves, but we only have so much time and effort to give to others. What can you bring to the table?

“You want your listener to come away from the conversation feeling good about their investment of time and energy,” Hogshead writes for Inc. “The key here is to add value to every interaction, so that you’re not just occupying conversational space.” Hogshead adds that we don’t have a lot of time to gain the other person's attention, so it’s best to start strong. “Here’s the problem with that approach: Today, the average attention span is about nine seconds. Every time you introduce yourself, you have about nine seconds to engage your listener. When it comes to first impressions, a weak start leads to a poor impression.”

drinks, attraction, first impression, smiling woman, charming man, bar A man and woman sharing a drink at a bar.via Canva/Photos

If you’re not adding value, you’re taking up space

Value will vary depending on the situation and your desired social outcome. When approaching someone for a drink, you can add value by boosting their self-esteem with a compliment. “I think you have really lovely eyes,” or “Is that an old-fashioned you’re drinking? You’ve got great taste, they make good ones here.”

At a networking event, you can introduce yourself and discuss a recent development in the industry. “Hey, I’m Lisa. Have you heard about how Acme Paper Company is using AI to learn the best trees to cut?” Or, “Hey, it’s Malcom, is your company having trouble figuring out which trees to cut? I’ve found a cool new way to save you time and labor costs.”

You can also add value to any person by allowing them to share their thoughts and experiences. When you show genuine interest in someone and let them talk about themselves, they will almost always find you likable. Research has found that asking the first question in a conversation, followed by two follow-ups, dramatically increases your likability.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

It can be disheartening to realize that people often make snap judgments about others that are difficult to overcome, but it’s great to know that, by focusing on how you can benefit another person, you can pull down that wall and give yourself a second chance to make a first impression. Everyone has something valuable to bring to the table, whether you’re inexperienced and can make your superiors feel great by asking them questions or by being able to share your experiences with others to make their lives better. Just know that everyone is open to meeting those who can make their lives better, and you can often be that person.

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first impression

Education & Information

'Caramel' vs. 'Carmel'—the proper pronunciation may surprise you

Car-mel or car-a-mel?

Image via Canva/Henry Becerra

How to properly pronounce and use the words 'caramel' and 'carmel.'

Fall is the season of sweet and crisp caramel apples, and as the treat becomes popular again, so does the longstanding debate about how to pronounces the sweet treat's delicious coating. Is it carmel (car-mel) or caramel (car-a-mel)?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, "caramel" is "a usually firm to brittle, golden-brown to dark brown substance that has a sweet, nutty, buttery, or bitter flavor, is obtained by heating sugar at high temperature, and used especially as a coloring and flavoring agent."

"Carmel" is a proper noun that denotes a town or place. As Professor Paul Brians at Washington State University and author of Common Errors in English Usage explains, "Take Highway 1 south from Monterey to reach the charming seaside town of Carmel, of which Clint Eastwood was formerly mayor. Dissolve sugar in a little water and cook it down until the sugar turns brown to create caramel."

@mythical
Cara-mel or car-mel?

So how do you properly pronounce caramel? Whichever way you pronounce it is technically right. June Casagrande, author of The Joy of Syntax: A Simple Guide to All the Grammar You Know You Should Know, writes: "The pronunciation 'carmel,' with two syllables, is every bit as acceptable as the three-syllable pronunciation. In fact, the two-syllable option comes first in Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, which may indicate it’s more standard."

Different dialects across the United States have led to the difference in pronunciations in the United States. Back in 2013, Joshua Katz, then a doctoral student in linguistics at NC State University, created a map based on research from a Harvard Dialect Survey by Bert Vaux and Scott Golder that showed which regions pronounced caramel with three syllables or two syllables.

carmel, caramel, caramel pronunciation, how to say caramel, how to say carmel How people in the United States pronounce caramel.Image via Reddit/sauihdik

Regional preferences are clearly laid out. "Car-a-mel" was more commonly used along the East Coast and South, while "car-mel" dominated in the Midwest and West.

Many people online discussed the different ways they pronounce it in the Reddit thread r/words. "The letters are there for a reason," one commented. "There are three syllables. Pronounce them! :)"

caramel, caramel gif, caramel vs carmel, carmel or caramel, caramel sauce life will GIF Giphy

Others were passionate about the two-syllable caramel pronunciation. "Cahr-mel, but I’m also in the midwest. I’ve never heard a person say 'cah-rah-mel apples' or 'cah-rah-mel corn' but I have heard people say, when talking about them on their own, 'cah-rah-mels.' I admit I probably say it wrong and I don’t care, cah-rah-mel sounds stupid to me."

And some admitted to saying both, and being confused. "For me it's context dependent. CAHRmul sauce, but ice cream topped with CAR a mel. So, depends if it's in use as an adjective or a noun," one wrote. Another quipped, "I'm from the Midwest and use them both but it's context sensitive. Car-a-mels are candy, Carmel is sauce or flavoring. Why? I don't know, it just sounds right to me." Another shared, "But what about if you caramelize onions for cooking. 'Carmelized' sounds better to me than 'caramelized'. Googling seems to agree."

And one summarized the debate with a sweet story: "The debate on this is so relentless between my husband and me that it was literally included in our wedding vows. I say carmel, he says caramel," they wrote.

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