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Pop Culture

'Reformed' narcissist describes how she would manipulate people in a viral TikTok

"Everything I said or did was planned and thought out…to get people to do certain things."

narctok, narcissists tiktok
@toxiccwaste0/TikTok

“I'm prefacing this with: This is wrong and you shouldn't do this to people."

Most of us know that while we colloquially throw around the word “narcissist” to label someone as arrogant or selfish, those who are actually diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are quite rare.

We also know that self-aware narcissists are even rarer. And yet, TikTok has become a booming platform for self-described narcissists to offer insights into how their minds work and even encourage others to seek therapy. This makes sense—you get the ego-boosting attention of likes and views while also developing more altruistic intentions. Win, win.

At the very least, it seems to be further proof that while NPD is a serious disorder that can leave a trail of hurt and abuse in its wake, no two people are alike, and we find more understanding in not lumping all narcissists together.


TikTok creator Lillith (aka @toxiccwaste0) claims she was formerly diagnosed with NPD in 2021. Bearing in mind we only have anecdotal evidence to go on, Lillith describes behaviors that do align with certain NPD-specific criteria—including a lack of empathy, intense pleasure-seeking, and a habit of “love-bombing”—as she shares her experience of being what she calls a “reformed narcissist

One video, which currently has over 76,000 views, shows Lilith responding to someone's question about the worst thing she had done physically or mentally to someone. Liltih obliged, adding the warning that anyone who could relate to what she was saying should seek help.

“I'm prefacing this with: This is wrong and you shouldn't do this to people,” Lilith began, adding that she always viewed potential relationships as a “game of chess” rather than anything romantic.


"Everything that I said or did was planned and thought out to get reactions and to get people to do certain things," she said. "So I pushed people to really bad places." One example she gave was an account of manipulating a person into sending $150,000 over the pandemic using triggers she had picked up on.

"I was telling him to kill himself and was being really mean and making him cry all the time, and I would lie to him and then I would give him doses of what he wanted," Lilith said. "But I was mostly just really abusive...I just wanted to keep him so I could keep using him."

Watch:

@toxiccwaste0 Replying to @jakiviachantae I always said I’d answer anything honestly, I honestly am so ashamed of this stuff and it’s mad weird of me to put it on the internet but here I am lol #npdtiktok #clusterbpersonalitydisorder #narcawareness #narcissist ♬ original sound - lilith

Though she used to consider her ability to "implant thoughts" into people’s brains as cool, Lilith shared that now she feels “disgusted.” She also wrote in the comments section that she has no desire to be considered a “role model,” but instead sees her confessional-style videos as a form of possible redemption for her “terrible choices.”

Many people saw Lilith taking accountability as a good thing and even validating for some who had been previously abused by narcissists.

One person wrote, “If you’re a narcissist, coming here and admitting this sort of stuff is 100% healing.”

Another added, "All I've ever wanted from the people who treated me this way was to admit it and attempt to live in their truth. I appreciate you.”

Again, though it is not common for a narcissist to view their behavior as hurtful (hence one reason it is so painful to be in a relationship with one), certain studies indicate that those with NPD can still learn aspects of emotional intelligence through therapy. And going off of Lilith’s plethora of videos detailing how she is trying to change, there seems to be a sliver of hope.

If you’d like to follow more of Lilith’s videos, you can find her on TikTok.


Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


Health

Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?



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Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from the democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets.

But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly-heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. There is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper, according to health experts as well as the man who invented the toilet paper roll in the first place.

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Brielle Asero lost her job after 2 months.

TikTokker Brielle Asero, 21, a recent college graduate, went viral on TikTok in October for her emotional reaction to the first day at a 9-to-5 job. The video, which received 3.4 million views, captured the public’s attention because it was like a cultural Rorschach test.

Some who saw the video thought that Asero came off as entitled and exemplified the younger generation’s lack of work ethic. In contrast, others sympathized with the young woman who is just beginning to understand how hard it is to find work-life balance in modern-day America.

“I’m so upset,” she says in the video. "I get on the train at 7:30 a.m., and I don't get home until 6:15 p.m. [at the] earliest. I don't have time to do anything!" Asero said in a video.

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Some girls out at a bchelorette party.

A recent story posted on Reddit shows how sometimes trusting your gut can be the best thing you can do, even if following it will seriously impact your friendships. It all started when a 24-year-old woman with the username Yslbabycat went to a bachelorette party with 5 other friends in Italy.

For brevity’s sake, we’ll call our main character YBC.

One night, the six girls went bar and club hopping and met some new friends. “We met some young people, and they invited us to a party. We went and danced and met more people. The night kept going on longer, and we were very far from our lodgings. These young men with 2 women in their group told us to stay with them for the night,” she wrote.

That’s when she had the first strong gut feeling.

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Family

Single dad receives letter from late wife and immediately gets a DNA test

"She wrote a letter for me before she died, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now."

A devastated man sitting by the ocean.

Ten months after a man’s wife passed away, he finally got the courage to read a letter she left him, which contained a devastating admission. The 4-year-old son they had together may not be his.

“My ‘darling’ wife passed away 10 months ago,” the man wrote on Reddit’s Off My Chest forum. “She wrote a letter for me before she died, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now. She told me how sorry she was that she didn’t have the guts to tell me this to my face when she was alive.”

In the letter, the wife revealed that there was a “good chance” that the son he thought was his wasn’t his biological child. A few weeks before their wedding day, the wife got drunk at her bachelorette party and had a one-night stand with another man. Soon after that night, she became pregnant but was unsure who the father was.

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Cage for reviving canary, with oxygen cylinder, made by Siebe Gorman & Co. Ltd, London.

These days the phrase "canary in the coal mine" is used to refer to any early warning sign of trouble or danger, but it's based in the real history of canaries being used in coal mining. Miners would carry the songbirds into the mine with them as a makeshift carbon monoxide alarm, as the bird's small body would be impacted by the odorless gas first, giving miners time to evacuate before it built to deadly levels.

Many if not most of us probably assume the canaries used for this purpose gave up their lives to save the coal miners. As it turns out, that was not always the case.

In fact, the man who created the canary in the coal mine system went out of his way to make sure the birds could do their job safely.

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A man cries out in rage while working on his laptop.

There’s a strange thing happening in the U.S. economy these days. Unemployment has been at its lowest in decades, and layoffs remain modest. However, people who are looking for work are having a hard time getting hired and it’s frustrating to send resume after resume and never hear anything back. What gives?

Business Insider says that despite a strong economy, employers are cautious about hiring more employees until they’re sure inflation is under control and that the Federal Reserve will eventually lower interest rates.

"It feels like the job market is in a bit of a holding pattern," Daniel Zhao, a lead economist at Glassdoor, recently told Business Insider.

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