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Pop Culture

'Reformed' narcissist describes how she would manipulate people in a viral TikTok

"Everything I said or did was planned and thought out…to get people to do certain things."

narctok, narcissists tiktok
@toxiccwaste0/TikTok

“I'm prefacing this with: This is wrong and you shouldn't do this to people."

Most of us know that while we colloquially throw around the word “narcissist” to label someone as arrogant or selfish, those who are actually diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are quite rare.

We also know that self-aware narcissists are even rarer. And yet, TikTok has become a booming platform for self-described narcissists to offer insights into how their minds work and even encourage others to seek therapy. This makes sense—you get the ego-boosting attention of likes and views while also developing more altruistic intentions. Win, win.

At the very least, it seems to be further proof that while NPD is a serious disorder that can leave a trail of hurt and abuse in its wake, no two people are alike, and we find more understanding in not lumping all narcissists together.

TikTok creator Lillith (aka @toxiccwaste0) claims she was formerly diagnosed with NPD in 2021. Bearing in mind we only have anecdotal evidence to go on, Lillith describes behaviors that do align with certain NPD-specific criteria—including a lack of empathy, intense pleasure-seeking, and a habit of “love-bombing”—as she shares her experience of being what she calls a “reformed narcissist

One video, which currently has over 76,000 views, shows Lilith responding to someone's question about the worst thing she had done physically or mentally to someone. Liltih obliged, adding the warning that anyone who could relate to what she was saying should seek help.

“I'm prefacing this with: This is wrong and you shouldn't do this to people,” Lilith began, adding that she always viewed potential relationships as a “game of chess” rather than anything romantic.


"Everything that I said or did was planned and thought out to get reactions and to get people to do certain things," she said. "So I pushed people to really bad places." One example she gave was an account of manipulating a person into sending $150,000 over the pandemic using triggers she had picked up on.

"I was telling him to kill himself and was being really mean and making him cry all the time, and I would lie to him and then I would give him doses of what he wanted," Lilith said. "But I was mostly just really abusive...I just wanted to keep him so I could keep using him."

Watch:

@toxiccwaste0 Replying to @jakiviachantae I always said I’d answer anything honestly, I honestly am so ashamed of this stuff and it’s mad weird of me to put it on the internet but here I am lol #npdtiktok #clusterbpersonalitydisorder #narcawareness #narcissist ♬ original sound - lilith

Though she used to consider her ability to "implant thoughts" into people’s brains as cool, Lilith shared that now she feels “disgusted.” She also wrote in the comments section that she has no desire to be considered a “role model,” but instead sees her confessional-style videos as a form of possible redemption for her “terrible choices.”

Many people saw Lilith taking accountability as a good thing and even validating for some who had been previously abused by narcissists.

One person wrote, “If you’re a narcissist, coming here and admitting this sort of stuff is 100% healing.”

Another added, "All I've ever wanted from the people who treated me this way was to admit it and attempt to live in their truth. I appreciate you.”

Again, though it is not common for a narcissist to view their behavior as hurtful (hence one reason it is so painful to be in a relationship with one), certain studies indicate that those with NPD can still learn aspects of emotional intelligence through therapy. And going off of Lilith’s plethora of videos detailing how she is trying to change, there seems to be a sliver of hope.

If you’d like to follow more of Lilith’s videos, you can find her on TikTok.


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O Organics
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Family

School is back in session. Here are 5 simple lunch ideas to keep you sane while you keep your family healthy.

With O Organics, it's easy.

Photo credit: Canva

Yes, school lunches CAN be easy, healthy and inexpensive.

Parents, let’s face it: prepping school lunches can feel like trying to solve a complex math equation. It's got to be nutritious, appealing, fast, and let's not forget…within budget. But what if we told you there’s a secret weapon that can make this whole ordeal a breeze? Enter: O Organics from Albertsons.

O Organics offers a wide range of affordable, USDA organic goodies that are perfect for school lunches. From crunchy apple slices to delicious, creamy greek yogurt, they've got you covered. Plus, their prices won’t break the bank, proving that healthy eating doesn’t have to be a luxury.

Now, let’s get down to the good stuff: the food! Here are some simple, kid (and wallet) friendly lunch ideas—made entirely with O Organics ingredients—to help you ditch the processed junk and give your kids the fuel they need to conquer the classroom:

1. Pasta Salad

  • Main: A cold pasta salad made with O Organics whole-grain rotini pasta, O Organics chopped vegetables (like cucumbers, bell peppers, and cherry tomatoes), and Italian dressing. Add protein with chickpeas or a three bean blend.
  • Side: O Organics apple slices.
  • Snack: A serving of O Organics Greek yogurt, with some granola for a fun topping.

2. Egg Salad Sandwich

  • Main: A sandwich using whole wheat bread filled with a mixture of O Organics hard boiled eggs, mayo (or Greek yogurt for extra protein), mustard, dill, onion powder, salt and pepper.
  • Side:O Organics tortilla chips and salsa.
  • Snack: A pack of O Organics fruit strips.

3. Peanut Butter Apple Wrap (great for toddlers)

  • Main:O Organics peanut butter spread on a couple of flour soft taco tortillas, topped with thinly sliced apples. Drizzle some O Organics honey, roll it up and voila!
  • Side:O Organics baby-cut carrots with a side of hummus.
  • Snack:O Organics cottage cheese.

4. Quickie Quesadilla

  • Main: A tortilla filled with O Organics Mexican Style Shredded Cheese, black beans, and a sprinkle of chili powder.
  • Side: A couple of hard boiled O Organics eggs.
  • Snack: Ants on a log.

5. A Hot Dog…that stays hot

  • Main: You know the drill. Hot dog (we recommended the O Organics Beef Franks). Mustard. Cheese. Bun.
  • Side: A colorful side salad with spring mix, cherry tomatoes, and vinaigrette dressing.
  • Snack:O Organics banana chips.

But how the heck do you keep the hot dog hot? We’ve got just the tip, courtesy of Allrecipes.com:

Step 1

  • Preheat an insulated beverage container by filling it with boiling water. Let stand for 15 to 20 minutes. Right before leaving, dump out water and replace with more boiling water. The preheating keeps it hot for a longer time. Place the hot dog into the water and close the lid.

Step 2

  • When your child is ready for lunch, they can take the hot dog out of the container and place it on the bun.

Remember: This list is just a starting point. You can totally customize it to your kid’s needs and preferences. You can even involve your kiddos in the lunch-packing process to make it more fun for everyone. Let them help choose the menu, make a shopping list, pack their lunches…even grow their own veggies! If you’re feeling ambitious, that is.

No matter how you choose to give your kids the best possible start to their day, making small changes and taking advantage of resources like O Organics can help make it happen in a sustainable and enjoyable way.

So, what are you waiting for? Shop O Organics now exclusively at Albertsons, Safeway or any sister store. Your kids' bodies (and taste buds) will thank you.

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Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

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Pop Culture

Church singer with 'next-level' range covers Adele and wows audiences on 'The Voice'

Atlanta-based Asher HaVon hit rich lows and incredible highs with his rendition of "Set Fire To The Rain."

The Voice/Youtube

Asher HaVon singing "Set Fire To The Rain"

Back in December of 2023, Adele told The Hollywood Reporter that she wasn’t fond of other people covering her songs since they cannot relate to them on the same level.

“I don’t mind it when they do, but I’m just saying they’re never going to be able to emote it,” she said.

But had she heard Asher HaVon’s rendition of her power ballad “Set Fire To Rain,” she might be singing a different tune.

The Alabama-based singer, minus a high-profile gig involving Barack Obama, was more accustomed to performing at church than on a massive stage.

Still, HaVon wowed judges on “The Voice” during his blind audition—beginning with rich, earthy tones that effortlessly soared to goosebump-inducing high notes.

"Asher, what an incredible voice you have," Reba McEntire said afterwards. "Your range, your power, I couldn't wait to turn around and see what you look like."

John Legend, though he didn’t turn his chair for HaVon, seconded McEntire’s opinion, saying “it went in so many different places and your voice has so many different pockets that are very cool."

Take a listen below:

Feeling chills? You’re not alone. Check out what other viewers had to say:

“Right out of the gate Asher sounded amazing and he just got better and better. Crazy vocal, range,and runs.”

“He took that steadying breath and out came this legit sound, deep and sonorous. It was a little surprising. I thought he'd be a high tenor. He showed the low but also got some squall, falsetto, and grit in there. Well done, man!”

“After the Intro I didn't expect such a huge range. Asher nailed it!!! Great Performance.”

“This had me smiling from start to finish. This is probably the best rendition I have heard of this song and his voice is astronomical.”

“Absolutely gorgeous version of the song. Asher totally made that song his own!”

“This man is vocally exceptional. His voice was soulful and powerful. And the song choice further supported his voice.”

It might be true that no one can relate to a song the exact same way the creator of the song does. But we can infuse our own emotions and interpretations into those works, creating something fresh and new. It’s definitely one of the more magical aspects of the human condition.


This article originally appeared on 3.26.24

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Sustainability

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

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One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.


When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

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Education & Information

Nonprofit exposes 'housing cartel' behind sharp rent increases across the country

"In Phoenix alone, you've seen rent increase 76% since 2016."

Photo by Daniel Tadevosyan|Canva

Nonprofit exposes reason behind sharp rent increases


It's no secret that there's a housing crisis in America. That's not to say that there aren't enough houses for people to live in, there are plenty of houses and apartments available, they're simply unaffordable. Over the past several years the cost of housing has increased to an amount that is so out of reach for the average person, that homelessness is on the rise as people unable to pay their rent are evicted.

While the housing prices continue to climb, wages have essentially stayed the same. This has led to people across the country making difficult decisions in an attempt to keep a roof over their heads. But most people have no idea why rental rates have skyrocketed in less than a decade. One nonprofit is exposing where this unexplained increase is stemming from with the help of the attorney generals' of Arizona and Washington D.C..

More Perfect Union is a nonprofit media organization aimed at empowering working people. Recently, the organization tackled the American housing crisis with a pretty shocking discovery.

There's a singular company behind the exorbitant housing prices in Arizona and D.C. though the states are thousands of miles away from each other. The attorney general of the District of Columbia calls the company an illegal housing cartel due to the tactics used and the money made. The company is called RealPage, which uses an algorithm that pulls from renters confidential information to skew the housing prices.

Landlords sign a contract to work with RealPage, but according to documents uncovered by the investigators, if a landlord pushes back against the rates, the company can expel them from the program. But what about all the empty units? There doesn't seem to be a concern because the rates are so high that the landlords still increase their revenue even when some apartments are empty for long periods of time.

This may feel a bit like a movie plot, but it's not science fiction. RealPage may be operating in multiple states across the country contributing to the unaffordable price of housing for American citizens.

a view of a city with tall buildingsPhoto by Gabriel Valdez on Unsplash

"We're talking about an algorithm that aggregates otherwise confidential information that the landlords have that ordinarily they would not share with their competitors," Washington D.C. Attorney General, Brian Schwalb says. "That allows then the algorithm to spit out a pricing recommendation. All designed to keep the overall market at its highest peak."

Arizona Attorney General, Kris Mayes explains, "they're not charging what the market can bear they're controlling the market. It's leading to the exacerbation of our affordability crisis, our housing crisis here in Arizona."

RealPage's practices are so concerning that the Federal Trade Commission and the Department of Justice stepped in to remind landlords and companies of antitrust laws. "Your algorithm can't do anything that would be illegal if done by a real person," the text reads on the screen, in part.

Landlords who sign up are bound by the rules set by RealPage, which state RealPage sets the rental rates, leaving landlords little option to opt out. They company even sends out "policing agents" to enforce these prices by physically checking on the landlord and leasing agents. Landlords are lured in with the promise of increased profits, some may not realize at the outset that the prices their renters would be expected to pay would be unaffordable causing some to become homeless.

But with RealPage working with landlords across the entire state, every rental property would increase nearly simultaneously, leaving renters no choice but to pay more than they can afford. In reality this may mean getting second and third jobs, foregoing important medications, pulling children out of afterschool care to allow them to care for themselves and more just to afford housing.

The problem with algorithms setting rental prices and anything else that has to do with human needs is that computer codes are not human. They don't know that Alice living in 3B is a single mom out of work because she just had a mastectomy. An algorithm doesn't factor in that Marc in the split level is having to drive an hour every day to help care for his elderly mother or that Carol on the first floor left an abusive relationship and this was the only place she could afford.

Leaving the lives of people up to an algorithm can have disastrous affects, and the lawsuit the attorney generals are bringing will highlight that concern using RealPage as the example.

This article originally appeared on 4.24.24

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Joy

Couple who met in a widowed spouse grief group awed by double rainbow at their wedding

Hard not to see this as a sign.

Photos courtesy of Chelsea Schaefer Photography

Michelle and Scott Ellermets got a beautiful symbol of hope on their wedding day.

Finding love again after losing a long-time partner isn't always easy. Being widowed comes with complicated emotions—sadness, worry, guilt, grief—and it can be hard to imagine ever falling in love again when you're in the middle of processing all of those feelings.

But sometimes loves comes along when we least expect it, which is how Michelle and Scott Ellermets ended up in a wildly viral moment.

Wedding photographer Chelsea Schaefer shared a compilation of photos and video from the Ellermets' beach wedding that took place on September 7, 2024 and it's been viewed by millions.

A beautiful story of love after loss

"After both unexpectedly losing their spouses of 20+ years, they met in their local grief group," the video begins. "They fell in love."

Schaefer explained that it rained the whole day of the wedding, but just minutes before the ceremony began, the sun came out and a double rainbow appeared.

Watch:

@chelseaschaefer24

I will never get over this day 🥹🌈


The couple's story is as sweet as two people who've lost their life partners can be.

Michelle had been married to her husband Jonathan for more than 23 years when he died unexpectedly of a heart attack in January of 2023. Scott was married to his wife Lisa for 29 years, but she passed away following an illness in June of the same year.

Michelle and Scott both joined a support group for grieving spouses in the Washington D.C. area.

"I joined Facebook in early December and a [local] widows [and] widowers website," Scott told Good Morning America. "And when I got on it, I saw that somebody was Facebook friends with my sister. It happened to be Michelle." He decided to send her a message and they hit it off right away.

They were just supportive friends at first. In fact, Michelle even told him that she wouldn't ever marry again. But love had other plans.

family at wedding on a beachThe Ellermets and their loved ones at their weddingPhotos courtesy of Chelsea Schaefer Photography

Friendship grew into another chance at love

"Our friendship, just at some point along the way, became more than that -- and we fell in love," Michelle told GMA. One thing that mutual loss had taught them was that time isn't promised, so they didn't hesitate when they knew they wanted to get married.

"At our age, when you know, why not?" said Michelle. We don't want to waste any time. You can't take your days for granted."

The double rainbow that greeted them at the end of their ceremony felt like "icing on the cake' and "a blessing from God" said Scott. Many of the millions who have watched the video agree, saying they see the double rainbow as a sign from their lost loved ones.

"Their late spouses gave them their blessings...love it"

"They approve & probably played a part in bringing you together from the other side. 🙏🏻🙏🏻"

"You can't tell me the two rainbows aren't their late partners supporting them ❤️"

"The double rainbow gave me immediate goosebumps 🌈🌈❤️❤️"

"If that’s not a sign I don’t know what is! God bless their marriage."

"Both late spouses sending their blessings!!! How beautiful!! I wish you both all the happiness!! ❤️🌈🌈"

"There is no clearer sign than a double rainbow when widowers find solace and love in each other. Both of their dearly departed loved ones wanted them to find happiness, and they’re just so happy that they have each other to lean on ♥️✨"

"When I remarried a widower, as a widow myself, there was a beautiful soft snow that fell for about one minute at the reception. It was so beautiful. And we believe it was a sign from our beloved spouses."

bride and groom on beach in front of rainbowThe double rainbow felt like a blessing, the couple said.Photos courtesy of Chelsea Schaefer Photography

The story is giving other widowed people hope

Others who have lost partners said they found hope in the story.

"🌈 Goosebumps here. I'm a widow and I find the rainbows so romantic. Their late partners showed out in the cutest way."

"I need this in my life. I lost my fiancé unexpectedly in 2022 and I want to fall in love again. I hope to find him one day again."

"This is so beautiful! I’m finding there are no such things as coincidences — this was absolutely the late spouses giving their blessing. I lost my husband to brain cancer 7 months ago and cannot imagine dating, especially while still raising our two young kids. But this still gives me hope. 🌈"

"This made me cry. I lost my husband and this give me hope. Thank you for sharing!! Wishing them all the happiness!!"

Rainbows are a symbol of hope because, as the saying goes, you can't have a rainbow without the rain first. No one wants their beachside wedding ruined by rain, and this couple may have been disappointed by the weather early in the day, but there was something beautiful in store for them.

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