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People share their partner's weirdest quirks that they've learned to love

Sometimes a healthy relationship means accepting your partner thinks out loud…all the time.

relationships, pet peeves, quirks,
Representative Image from Canva

Ah, that special moment of realizing your beloved is an absolute weirdo.

There comes a time in every long term relationship when the honeymoon phase has ended, and your partner’s little quirks begin to reveal themselves. You know, that habit of hogging the blanket at night, or making an audible “ah” sound after every sip of soda. Those fun little idiosyncrasies that are both endearing and exasperating all at the same time.

And while these pet peeves can be aggravating, they also invite love on a deeper level. When you can truly appreciate someone for their imperfections, without judgment or resentment—and they can do the same for you—the result is more humor, trust, connection and joy. Frustrations dissolve into moments of laughter. And flaws become celebrations of each other’s humanity.

Recently, someone asked the folks on Reddit to share the “weirdest thing” their partners did, that they’ve learned to accept. The answers were adorable, hilarious, strange, and all around a fairly profound glimpse at what human relationships are all about.

Let’s take a look.

"When he's alone, he talks to himself in 3rd person, making comments on the things he's doing. 'Ladies and gentlemen, xxxx has done it again, he's made the best omelet in history.. for the 3rd time this month. He's the man of the year. Look at him getting a glass, and opening the fridge.. oooh is he going for orange juice? yes he is! okay now he needs to do something but what was it? ah righttt the toast. The toast, everybody. He almost forgot the toast.' Stuff like that. I'm glad he does it loudly, it's hilarious. Especially when he gets tired and stops mid-sentence but keeps doing what he's doing in silence. Even funnier when he starts speaking again all of a sudden."

via GIPHY

"She never, ever, ever eats the last bite of anything. She'll always have a bite of whatever left on her plate after a meal. She's never once, in the 20 years I've been with her, eaten the last piece of pizza. She'll never take the last peanut. I've never seen her finish a can of Pringles. Upside for me: I get the last everything."

"When he wakes up in the morning, he puts on ALL his clothes, just to walk to the bathroom, take them off and have shower. Why?? I will never understand that lol"

"My wife is a neat freak, always cleans up after herself and is putting things away. However I noticed that when she runs out of toilet paper she will just take the new roll and stand it on top of the empty tube instead of replacing it. I asked her why she does that and she said “it’s the one thing I allow myself to be lazy about”. I think it’s hilarious. OR My amazing, incredible wife absolutely refuses to reload the TP roll. It is complete out of character for her, but it's such a locked in behavior I have given up on correcting it. At least she isn't putting it on backwards!!"

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"He lays on the floor to decompress, which isn't too bizarre. But he lays down in weird spots and occasionally accidentally scares the shit out of me. One time, he was lying on the floor in the front entrance closet, petting the cat, and fell asleep. I just saw his legs on the ground sticking out from the closet. My first thought was that he had fallen, hurt himself, and was unconscious. But he was just snuggling the cat. Another time, I couldn't find him anywhere in the house and started to freak out. But he was lying on the back deck on his belly, talking to the skunk that lives under the deck. This was at night. So all I see is a man sprawled on the deck in the dark. Scared me silly."

"She sleeps with her eyes open occasionally, and will also sometimes laugh like someone just told her the greatest joke ever told while sleeping. I've accepted my little demon."

"He always finds random objects around the house to make into a 'hat' for me. Fresh laundry? Hat. Random plushies? Hat. Bubble wrap? Hat. Then he makes one for himself, we take a funny picture and hang it on our 'hat photos' wall."

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"She does gatherer things. bringing little trinkets home and presenting them to me. I always say very impressive! she puts little piles of things all over the house and gets upset if they are disturbed or I suggest getting rid of them."

"My husband occasionally talks in his sleep and will also laugh like a little girl in his sleep. It absolutely cracks me up and creeps me out at the same time."

"I don’t know how weird this is, but my boyfriend constantly talks to himself. He also gives voices to our pets- 2 cats and a dog. Each pet has a distinct voice and accent. Some of them have catchphrases."

"Sometimes when he’s getting ready for work in the morning, I’ll hear him having conversations with the pets and himself in all the various voices. It’s hilarious and adorable. Sometimes I catch myself doing it now, too."

"She mostly closes doors, but only mostly. Not fully ajar, not fully closed. I have never seen this wonderful woman completely close a door in 13+ years.Luckily, it’s just inside doors."

"He gets very concerned about his socks to the point he will count them when he's folding laundry and get irritated when he can't find all of them. Then he accused me of doing something with them. Like I would do anything with his stupid socks."

"He needs the GPS even though he knows the area and the way. If the GPS goes out, he’ll oddly panic."

via GIPHY

"Anything that could go or fit on top of anything else is called a "hat." There are no lids, there are no covers, there are no toppers or caps. We have a top-loader freezer. She wouldn't say 'close the lid.' She'd say 'put the freezer hat back on.' Bottle caps? No. Bottle hats. Does the pot of boiling water have a lid? Nope. It has a hat. Wine bottle stopper? Try again. That's a hat. Trash bin cover? Trash bin hat*. There are hats and only hats. Edit to add that she's a native English speaker, but her family is Lithuanian. I think it's something she picked up from her dad as a kid and it just became a habit. She is aware that it's goofy."

"All sauces are gravy. What kind of salad gravy do you want?"

"He does this loud chicken noise (like a baw-kak!) just randomly and it could be anywhere. It’s never been inappropriate, but it’s always surprising and I laugh every freaking time."

"To my wife, everything is a 'counter.' Tables, dressers, nightstands, basically any flat surface that is not the floor is the counter."

"He randomly licks me. We will be cuddling and he just will lick my shoulder real quickly. I don’t get it."

"My youngest had trouble learning to eat solids and my wife spent 3-5 meals a day for like 6 months mimicking eating to her. It’s now 9 years later and after every first bite of a meal she goes MMMMMMMMMM! It’s a charming relic of a stressful time in life."

"He does sock shoe sock shoe like a psycho."

via GIPHY

"She usually dresses normal but sometimes she goes through phases where she dresses like people from different eras. Like a 70s disco phase outfit or a 80s rock chick outfit or a 1950s dress outfit. It's one thing to do this for a day or something... she will do it for like 3-4 weeks straight, ordering clothes on amazon to make new outfits, wearing the outfits to go grocery shopping or walking the dog etc. And then she rinses and repeats every once in a while. She also will obsessively watch movies from that era when this happens. She has been doing this for 20+ years. She is known in our neighborhood for doing this."

"Bf is a biologist and absolutely cannot stop himself from interacting with any animal/insect/bird that his brain has deemed interesting. I've spotted him softly talk to bugs and bees when he thinks no one's looking. Also as long as he has deemed it safe, if we spot a snail (and he's REALLY GOOD at spotting snails it's insane) he WILL pick it up no matter the circumstances. We've spent HOURS in parks/sanctuaries in one single spot if he's spotted a cool lizard or an animal because we must make new animal friends. His parents tell me all the different insects, bugs and tiny animals he used to bring to them as a baby lmfao."

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Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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Pop Culture

James Van Der Beek's realization about his identity after cancer has people pondering

"I had to look my own mortality in the eye," said the Dawson's Creek alum. "I had to come nose to nose with death."

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Photo credits: SANSIERRASTUDIO (left) Super Festivals from Ft. Lauderdale, USA (right)

James Van Der Beek in 2010 and 2023

There's nothing like a brush with death to make you reflect on your life. It's so easy for all of us to get caught up in the day-to-day details of living and not take the time to ponder the deeper elements of existence, from the nature of the universe to the meaning of life to our own individual role in the big picture.

Existential questions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but actor James Van Der Beek shared a thoughtful 48th birthday message with his own life reflection after facing cancer, and it distills a lot of the angst of those questions into a simple yet profound answer that's hitting home with people.

Van Der Beek, who starred in the millennial favorite Dawson's Creek, announced he'd been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in 2024 at age 47. He and his wife, Kimberly, have six children, and in a video shared on social media, Van Der Beek shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to "the ultimate" identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.

"I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on," he said. "And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, 'Who am I? What am I?'"

"And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he continued. "I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working. I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them."

He found himself facing the question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?"

So often we define ourselves by our roles in life or by what we do, but what if those things change? Who are we when it's just us, alone, with nothing external to anchor us to a particular identity?

"And I meditated and the answer came through," Van Der Beek shared. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

I offer that to you however it sits in your consciousness. However it resonates, run with it," he said. "And if the word God trips you up, I certainly don't know or claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger or if it feels too religious you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."


Van Der Beek's sincere, warm delivery and universal message of love and worth hit home for a lot of people. Fellow celebrities and fans alike praised and thanked him for it:

"Happy birthday brother. This was absolutely beautiful 💜🙏🏻💜," wrote singer Chris Daughtry.

"You’re a gift to this earth and I’m grateful to know you even if it’s just through IG. Greatly admire the graceful way you share and happy you made it around the Sun again," wrote New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre.

The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrote, "That is it James. That is it. And you my friend are love. A steward of love. A teacher of love !❤️. We love you !!"

"I watched this with Bodhi with tears in our eyes and Bodhi said 'that was really touching' thanks for being love James and sharing that with everyone, ❤️" added actor Teresa Palmer.

Battlestar Galactica reboot's Katee Sackhoff wrote, "Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom ❤️ Amen!'

"You are such a special soul. You are pure love my friend," added actor Nikki Reed. "Worthy of it all… hoping to hug all of you soon. Happy birthday❤️❤️❤️"

Some people took issue with Van Der Beek saying people could remove the word "God" from the message if they wanted to, but the reality is that not everyone has positive feelings about God or religion, and some have even been deeply hurt by people weaponizing them. Van Der Beek making a message of love more universal so that everyone can take it in and benefit from it without barriers or hang-ups is part of what makes it so beautiful. He was able to express his own religious/spiritual experience without shying away from the terminology that was true for him, while also making sure that his message was accessible to everyone regardless of faith or belief.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Van Der Beek's sincere, open, and balanced approach as well.

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James Van Der Beek shared his hopes for the spring weeks before his death, and it's beautiful

Funny, clever, and profound in a way only Van Der Beek could pull off.

james van der beek, james van der beek death, james van der beek cancer, cancer, colorectal cancer, cancer treatment
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James Van Der Beek speaking at Galaxy Con.

James Van Der Beek, best known for his roles in Dawson's Creek and Varsity Blues, has died at the age of 48 after a journey with stage 3 colorectal cancer.

Since November of 2024, the actor has been open about some of the struggles he’s faced with the diagnosis, including having to sell off much of his iconic memorabilia to pay off his cancer treatment.

And yet, Van Der Beek still left the world on perhaps a grounded, somewhat hopeful note, as indicated by the undeniably profound message he made in an Instagram video, posted a mere few weeks before his death.

Using his signature down-to-earth, friendly sense of humor, Van Der Beek spoke directly to the camera as he asked the essential question: “Why are we celebrating a new year in the dead of winter? Why are we celebrating new beginnings at a time when nature rests?"

“Animals are hibernating, birds fly south for the winter,” he continued. “The time to celebrate new beginnings, and a new year, and a new you and a new resolution is spring at the vernal equinox, when the flowers bloom and it gets warmer and the birds return.”

He then quipped that the Gregorian calendar, which marks a new year in the winter, goes against nature, and therefore makes “absolutely no sense.”

“In the winter, the days are shorter and the nights are longer,” he wrote in his caption. “But instead of being reminded how perfect this season is for cocooning, eating stew, snuggling and sleeping… why are we being told this is the time to buy a gym membership?”

So, to anyone having trouble keeping to those New Year’s resolutions, Van Der Beek assured, “I don’t think it’s your fault” and offered a different solution: viewing spring as the start of the new year.

“I’m gonna say screw it,” he said. “I’m gonna take the winter to recover, to rest and I’m gonna make New Year’s resolutions in the spring. Who’s with me?”

Obviously, the video hits differently now…the optimism a little bittersweet. But it's nonetheless a huge testament to how he “met his final days with courage, faith, and grace,” as his wife Kimberly Van Der Beek wrote.

“There is much to share regarding his wishes, love for humanity and the sacredness of time,” she added.

It’s wisdom that still rings true. We can force ourselves to go against nature. Or we can follow in Van Der Beek’s footsteps and give ourselves the grace to let nature work through us, to trust in our inherent worthiness, and to take time to heal. This is just one of many wonderful contributions that he’s given to us all, and he will be deeply missed.

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How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence
via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

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Parenting

Boomer grandparents often forget what it's like having young kids. Millennials call it 'gramnesia.'

"Gramnesia" combines the words "grandparent" and "amnesia".

gramnesia, millennial, millennial parents, boomers, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting
@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials coined the term "gramnesia" for Boomer grandparents who have forgotten what it's like raising kids.

Becoming a grandparent is the dream for many parents who've raised their children into adulthood. After all, there are few things sweeter than getting to spend time with grandkids.

But many Millennial parents have had many bones to pick with their Boomer parents about their grandparenting skills (or lack thereof). Recently, Millennials have been calling out Boomer grandparents for a number of questionable grandparenting behaviors: from excessive gift giving to completely disappearing.

And its led one Millennial mom to coin the term "gramnesia" when describing her Boomer parents as grandparents.

What is "gramnesia"?

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

@selahvictor

Millennial Moms have you experienced this?! I swear every time I ask my Mom about a parenting struggle, she's like "what are you talking about?" SHE HAS GRAMNESIA😂😂Disclaimer: my Mom had 8 kids, so maybe she just was way more of an expert than me😜Also if you made it to the end, this is probably why it was easier for that generation too (and why I'm a great sleeper!)😂 #boomers #millenialmom #millennial #boomermom #parentinghelp #momof8 #selahvictor #lamom #gramnesia

Examples of “gramnesia” statements

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid.”

“I potty trained you before you were one.”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

“*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”

gramnesia, boomer grandparent, boomer grandparents, grandkids, grandparenting Some Boomer grandparents are being called out for "gramnesia".Photo credit: Canva

Why "gramnesia" exists in the first place

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

How to confront Boomer parents about "gramnesia"

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Millennial shares the lies that every kid's parents told them in the '90s

"Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

1990s kids, 1990s parents, lies, '90s nostalgia, old wives tale, '90s kid
via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.

Children believe everything their parents tell them. So, when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the untruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own. In 2024, a man named Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” one commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” another added. After just four days of being posted, the video had been viewed upwards of 250,000 times.

@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, tattoo, jobs A woman gets a tattoo.Canva Photos

Eight more lies that parents told their kids in the '90s

Justin's video was also a hit on Reddit, where many commenters had heard the same lies growing up. However, there were a few more they remembered hearing as kids back in the day. Commenters added eight more items to his list of 10 things that parents lied to their kids about in the '90s. Here are some great ones Justin could use to create a follow-up video:

"When the ice cream man is playing music, that means he’s all sold out."

"You'll never make any money messing around with that computer."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, kids, parenting Boy playing on the computer.Canva Photos

"Dusty went to live on a farm."

"You'll go to jail if you take the mattress tag off."

"My in-laws told my husband (as a child) not to flip the light switch on and off because he would start a fire in the wall that would burn down the house."

"I was also always told that if I played with the campfire, I would wet the bed that night."

"Green potato chips are poisonous, and eating raw hot dogs gives you cancer."

"My mom told me I couldn’t put on the skin transfer tattoo that came with my chewing gum because the tattoo had drugs in it."

This post originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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