People are sharing 'hard-hitting' life lessons they wish they'd learned earlier
The older you get, the clearer certain lessons become.

Lots of people have regrets about not prioritizing their personal lives.
Sometimes life feels like a nonstop string of lessons we need to learn in order to be the best humans we can be. And much to our frustration, some of those lessons get repeated over and over, and some of our learning comes far later than we wish it would have.
Learning firsthand is often necessary for our own growth, but sometimes we can glean wisdom from what others have learned, especially folks who have been around a while. Older doesn't always mean wiser, but there are some things that age and experience offer that can be useful for younger people to pay heed to.
A Reddit user posted on Ask Reddit, "What's a hard hitting life lesson you learned way too late in life?" and people chimed in with some valuable insights. Some of the answers clearly came from a place of feeling hurt or beaten down, but the most popular answers are little gold nuggets we may have seen but not picked up ourselves.
Here are some of the top answers:
1. It's okay to say "no."
"The importance of setting boundaries and saying no. Turns out, people won't love you more for sacrificing your own well-being to please them. Wish I had known that sooner, would've saved a lot of unnecessary stress and burnt-out moments." – HappyPenguin112
""No." is a complete and perfectly acceptable sentence. I struggle with this myself regularly." – phlostonsparadise123
"If anything, setting boundaries and saying no will earn you MORE respect than saying yes." – Nonrandomusername19
"There are so many benefits to learning to say no. Even just the time saved alone from things that don't serve you." – LilyLove_xoxo
2. Work-life balance isn't negotiable.
"Work life balance is critical, and hustle culture is stupid. The only people who notice all those extra hours you put in at work are your family and friends." – GigabitISDN
"'I work 80 hours a week!' '40s are nothing' Yep. Yep… that’s why your wife divorced you and you never see your kids. Because you put your job over them." – slamuri
"Seriously. I had a CAREER. I trained up within the company, I got certified as a professional in the industry, and I was doing well and was well liked. It was a crazy busy and high paced job though, and I wasn't able to stay on top of it all without giving myself to it almost constantly. Checking emails at home, and even my time off that was time with my family turned into time spent panicking about work and how I will get everything done and make everyone happy.
I couldn't stand it anymore and abruptly left the industry. Now I have a better paying job that is more my speed, a true 8 hour day, and doesn't take any of my personal time. Never let work take over your life; it's just work. All it does is give you the money you need to do life. Don't let it absorb your happiness." – BoobySlap_0506
3. Don't assume everyone will think or react the way you do.
"Quit expecting you from other people." – goddess_of_fear
"I’ve heard it as: Never assume other people’s brains work the same way your brain works. Because they don’t." – Invisig0th
"My version is don’t expect yourself in others. Biggest stress reliever of all time!" – iam_caiti_b
"My hardest time with this is work ethic. I was taught to have pride in every job you do- no matter how small the task, do it to your best ability.
I expect this from everyone around me as it's such a basic premise to do things well and extremely frustrating when someone does a job haphazardly." – Top_Chair5186
4. Stop comparing.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." – assinmysock
"I’d be a lot further in life if I had stopped trying to keep up with the Joneses." – abearmin
"Stop comparing where you would've been if you'd done things differently, with where you are. Just enjoy where you are. :)" – Yet_One_More_Idiot
"Or, as my grandma would say, 'There will always be someone prettier, smarter, richer, etc. than you. Think about what you HAVE rather than what you don't have and you'll be much happier.' She was right." – SweetIcedTea73
5. Just say no to the smokes.
"Smoking isn't worth it." – SweetIcedTea73
"Yyyyep! I'm watching my dad slowly after smoking his whole life. Just avoid that sh*t." – piespiesandmorepies
"Stop for your children. They need you more than you need the nicotine and lung cancer. You've got this." – techzeus
"This is the one folks." – Pun_dimen
What lesson do you wish you had learned earlier?
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."