Miranda Lambert calling out selfie taking fans, sparks debate about concert etiquette.
Is it a form of disrespect?
Was she in the right?
Country singer Miranda Lambert recently paused mid-song during a show in Las Vegas to confront fans who were taking a selfie during the performance, and no one can seem to agree whether or not she was right to do so.
In a video taken at the Sunday night concert, Lambert is seen beginning her ballad “Tin Man” when she suddenly says, "I'm gonna stop right here for a second, I'm sorry. These girls are worried about their selfie and not listening to the song,” referencing a group of friends somewhere in the front section.
“I don’t like it, at all,” she continues, “We’re here to hear some country music tonight…I’m singing some country damn music,” before motioning for them to put their phones away.
The clip quickly went viral, sparking a heated debate about who was in the wrong. Over on TikTok, most commenters thought Lambert was out of line in her chastising and agreed that the harshness did more to ruin the moment than the girls trying to take a photo.
@redneckinvegas Miranda said its My Show.. #selfie #narcissist #Miranda #country #music #show #iPhone #tinman #sing #viral #share #wwyd #comment #vegas @Miranda Lambert #startover #scream #concert #wtf #lol #haha #me #like #love #vegasshow #subscribe #pissmeoff #girls #why #beautiful #sexy ♬ original sound - redneckinvegas
“Imagine it was their favorite song and they were taking a video and they were excited,” one person wrote.
“They were just making memories,” wrote another.
Another pointed out that even if Lambert were in the right, she could have handled the situation differently, suggesting that “she could have finished her song and just said some blanket statement like ‘let’s try to be in the moment and stay off our phones.’”
One even noted that for folks who “paid upward of $700 to sit up front…they SHOULD be able to take photos.”
It even became a point of focus on “The View,” wherein Whoopi Goldberg defended Lambert against the other hosts, saying that for those willing to pay high prices for front row seats to a show, they should equally be willing to “give respect” by watching someone “do their thing.”
Eventually, one of the women called out by Lambert, Adela Calin, decided to speak up. She assured NBC News that posing for a photo that night took “30 seconds at most” and came from innocent intentions—they had even attempted to capture the image before the show started but couldn’t find proper lighting. They had finally asked a woman behind them to snap a photo when Lambert spotted them.
"We just couldn’t get one good picture," Calin told NBC. "We were so excited because I think we had the best seats in the whole theater."
The entire situation reflects a larger exhaustion many people are having with the tech that is now the cornerstone of every aspect of our lives. According to a survey published by Fast Company, an overwhelming number of Americans (including those from Gen Z) long for a pre-plugged-in world, when life didn’t revolve around a 24-hour news cycle, constant content and a barrage of screens. It seems like many would prefer to return to simply being at a concert and trusting that the memories will be made through the feelings felt in the moment, rather than posting something online and then never thinking about it again.
There’s also the recent uptick of concertgoers literally abusing performers by throwing their phones and other objects at them, as with Bebe Rexha and Harry Styles. This is, needless to say, dehumanizing and dangerous, and most likely something that influenced Lambert’s reaction. Even Calin acknowledged this.
Absolutely great show ruined by a fan throwing their phone at @BebeRexha hopefully she is ok after that pic.twitter.com/4eBScgurv5
— Alex Chavez (@captiv_8_) June 19, 2023
However, Calin added that while she might understand Lambert’s concern, her determination to make her group look “young, immature and vain” was unfair.
“It felt like I was back at school with the teacher scolding me for doing something wrong and telling me to sit down back in my place,” Calin said. “We were just grown women in our 30s to 60s trying to take a picture.”
There isn’t a clear-cut solution to this modern-day dilemma. Selfie-taking is a deeply embedded part of our contemporary culture and like any social trend, there are pros and cons to that. Probably the only thing that we can count on not changing is the value of keeping to kindness while discussing the topic.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.