+
upworthy
Pop Culture

Kevin Smith receives a flood of support after sharing how childhood trauma affected his identity

Fans are applauding his honesty and calling for destigmatization of mental health conversations.

kevin smith
People/Youtube

Let's normalize talking about our mental health.

For many of us, the impacts of childhood trauma linger on insidiously. Aspects of our adult identity become shaped by those terrible chapters in our early years without us even realizing it. And because this happens at such a young age, it can take years of soul searching, not to mention professional support, before a person can sift through those painful memories to recover a real sense of self.

Yes, it’s a taxing and scary process, with perhaps the most daunting aspect being the fact that you once again have to bring that trauma to light by talking about it. But as we have seen many times over, being open and honest about our struggles often results in the support, healing and transformation needed to improve our mental health. In other words—the rewards outweigh the discomfort.

Filmmaker Kevin Smith is a celebrity pretty well known for being candid about his personal challenges, especially when it comes to health and well-being. After suffering from a heart attack back in Feb 2018, the “Clerks” director has made his weight loss journey and the insights from it a major part of his presence online. You’d be hard pressed to find a fan that didn’t know about this part of his life.

However, in an exclusive with People, Kevin Smith revealed for the first time that the root cause of his previous weight struggles had been related to sexual abuse he experienced at 6 years old, when an older boy forced him to perform sexual acts with a young girl in the neighborhood.

As Smith told People, he always denied the gravity of the incident, telling himself that "we were just playing doctor in an alleyway." It wouldn’t be until the age of 52, after checking into Arizona's Sierra Tucson treatment center and dedicating a month to intensive therapy, that Smith would learn the event was indeed severe and left him with an untreated psychological wound.

It took suffering from a "complete break from reality" and being stuck in a “weird, dark place,” but Smith did finally get help. After talking with a therapist, he learned that the incident, along with being made fun of for his weight by a teacher in grade school, led him to create a "larger-than-life" public persona he calls "the other guy.”

"I felt disgusting, like I didn't matter. That's when 'the other guy' started to appear. I decided to be entertaining and make people love me before they noticed I was fat,” he told People.

As we all know from “Jay and Silent Bob” alone, this strategy has worked. Perhaps for Smith more than most, it would seem disastrous to throw away an alter-ego which has brought such great commercial success.

And yet, Smith has still decided to not only take steps towards finding his "authentic self," which include discontinuing smoking pot and incorporating a more relaxed work schedule, but to share his story with fans in an effort to spread the message of the importance of self-acceptance.

Smith posted a link to the People article on his own Twitter account, writing, “Having been a creature of the Internet for 28 years now, I fully expect to get trolled for this. But if it can help some folks, it’ll be worth it. So here goes…A few months back I went through a mental health crisis. This is some of the stuff I learned.”

Take a look at what folks had to say:

“The more we talk about our mental health, the less stigma there will be around it. It’s ok to not be ok. Thanks for sharing your journey with us, Kevin!”

“Kev, I don't know you well, but we've met a few times over the years and I've always had a ton of respect for you. And I respect you even more for having the courage to face your demons publicly in a way that will surely help others do the same. Much love, brother.”

“Dude I related to this hard especially struggling with people commenting on my body when I was much heavier growing up and how I processed it. I minimized a lot of the comments going through life. Glad you talked about it Kevin.”

“Sending you all the love, Kev. You are worthy. In every way. You are helping people every day, but most importantly you're also taking time to help yourself and that's equally as important. I've been on a similar journey and I'm just happy to hear about your healing journey.”

“Thank you so much for this Kevin, being able to actually see the real authentic you is truly amazing, and I hope others get so much positive energy and healing from this, mental health is important and our happiness.”

“This was so beautiful. I can't thank you enough for sharing all your wisdom these last few years especially. I'm so happy you're finding yourself, cos that's who we love. You always shine past the other guy. Much love and godspeed in your continued growth.”

You certainly don’t have to be a popular celebrity to talk about your struggles. If anything, this is a beautiful example of what can happen when we normalize having these types of conversations. It might not look like an interview with People, but opening up to our loved ones, community or a therapist can still work wonders for recovering our sense of self. In fact, it might be the only way for us to truly do it.

You can watch Smith’s full video interview with People below:

The gaze of the approving Boomer.

Over the past few years, Baby Boomers (1946 to 1964) have been getting a lot of grief from the generations that came after them, Gen X (1965 to 1980), Millenials (1981 to 1996), and now, Gen Z (1997 to 2012). Their grievances include environmental destruction, wealth hoarding, political polarization, and being judgemental when they don’t understand how hard it is for younger people to make it in America these days.

Every Baby Boomer is different, so it's wrong to paint them all with a broad brush. But it’s undeniable that each generation shares common values, and some are bound to come into conflict.

However, life in 2023 isn’t without its annoyances. Many that came about after the technological revolution put a phone in everyone’s hands and brought a whole new host of problems. Add the younger generations' hands-on approach to child rearing and penchant for outrage, and a lot of moden life has become insufferanble.

Keep ReadingShow less

Klein Kwagga understood the assignment at his sister's concert.

Some kids are too shy to ever want to get on a stage, some will spend most of a performance staring awkwardly at their shoes, and some kids love the opportunity to show off what they've practiced in front of an audience.

And then there are the kids were simply born for the spotlight. You know them when you see them.

When Dirkco Jansen van Nieuwenhuizen hopped on stage with all of the other brothers and sisters of the dance students at René’s Art of Dance in South Africa, no one expected a viral sensation. According to Capetown Etc, it was the school's year-end concert, and siblings were invited to come up and dance to Bernice West’s Lyfie—a popular song in Afrikaans. And Dirkco, who goes by Klein Kwagga, took the assignment and ran with it.

Keep ReadingShow less

Prepare to get Thatcherized.

It seems that Adele is going viral once again.

Perhaps you’ve seen the image in question previously (it seems to make the rounds every couple of years). But in case you missed it—it’s Adele’s face. Normal, just upside down.

Only it’s not normal. In fact, when you turn Adele’s face right side up, what you notice is that her eyes and mouth were actually right-side up THE ENTIRE TIME, even though the entire head was upside down. So when you turn the head right side up, the eyes and mouth are now UPSIDE-DOWN—and you can’t unsee it. Do you feel like you're Alice in Wonderland yet?

Keep ReadingShow less
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

People share the most practical ways to support new parents

There's a lot of preparation that goes into having a child well before they're even born. First there are the physical changes your body makes to clear up some space for a tiny human roughly the size of a watermelon. Then there's preparing the nursery, buying lots of extremely small clothes, diapers and an expected understanding that while sleep may be your friend, you won't be getting any of it for about a year.

Lots of people give plenty of advice to help you cope in the early days but after the baby arrives, the focus shifts to solely the baby. It's obviously not a deliberate shift. Babies are just more shiny and new that the parents. But not everyone forgets about the parents once baby makes their grand entrance–some go out of their way to make sure the parents feel supported.

Upworthy asked its audience, "what was the best non-baby related gift you received as a new parent," and the answers were a masterclass on how to care for new parents.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

A mom seeks doctor's help for postpartum depression and instead gets a visit from the cops

Too many women lose out on much needed support because of unwarranted stigma.

Canva

Postpartum depression is very common, and treatable.

Jessica Porten recently visited her doctor four months after giving birth to her daughter, Kira. She wasn't feeling quite like herself.

She had been dealing with overwhelming sadness and fits of anger, which she knew was likely stemming from a case of postpartum depression.

In a Facebook post, Porten recounts the story of that appointment.

Keep ReadingShow less
Identity

Formerly enslaved man's response to his 'master' wanting him back is a literary masterpiece

"I would rather stay here and starve — and die, if it come to that — than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters."

A photo of Jordan Anderson.

In 1825, at the approximate age of 8, Jordan Anderson (sometimes spelled "Jordon") was sold into slavery and would live as a servant of the Anderson family for 39 years. In 1864, the Union Army camped out on the Anderson plantation and he and his wife, Amanda, were liberated. The couple eventually made it safely to Dayton, Ohio, where, in July 1865, Jordan received a letter from his former owner, Colonel P.H. Anderson. The letter kindly asked Jordan to return to work on the plantation because it had fallen into disarray during the war.

On Aug. 7, 1865, Jordan dictated his response through his new boss, Valentine Winters, and it was published in the Cincinnati Commercial. The letter, entitled "Letter from a Freedman to His Old Master," was not only hilarious, but it showed compassion, defiance, and dignity. That year, the letter would be republished in theNew York Daily Tribune and Lydia Marie Child's "The Freedman's Book."

The letter mentions a "Miss Mary" (Col. Anderson's Wife), "Martha" (Col. Anderson's daughter), Henry (most likely Col. Anderson's son), and George Carter (a local carpenter).

Dayton, Ohio,
August 7, 1865
To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Keep ReadingShow less