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Dad struggling through a painful divorce shares a comforting letter from his daughter

"Hey dad, I know you are going through a hard time right now and I just want you to know that I will be here for you forever & always."

divorce, reddit, uplifting letter

Depressed dad going through a divorce

Divorce is a terribly difficult process for families to go through. It can evoke feelings of despair, anxiety and loss. People also have to deal with emotional abandonment, the pain of being disconnected from children and financial stress.

Going through a divorce is so stressful that, according to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale, it is the second most stressful life event right after the death of a spouse.

A Reddit user with the username stefanfection shared a powerful letter his daughter wrote that's given him hope while going through a painful divorce. “I went through a divorce recently and have been having a rough time,” stefanfection wrote on the MadeMeSmile forum. “I woke up to this this morning, from my daughter. It also helps. I just gained custody of her.”


He uploaded a picture of a letter written by his daughter.

I went through a divorce recently and have been having a rough time. I woke up to this this morning, from my daughter. It also helps I just gained custody of her.
by u/stefanfection in MadeMeSmile

The letter reads:

"Hey dad, I know you are going through a hard time right now and I just want you to know that I will be here for you forever & always. I hope you become happy again because I would love to do a ton of fun things with you in the *summer* I love you tons & just remember that... I will always be here for you."

The post inspired people to send messages of support for the father. The most popular was from Icouldusesomerock, who wrote: “She loves you more than words can express. You’ve done a fine job sir keep it up.”

“Thank you, I try my best and so does she. It feels good to hear that from you,” stefanfection responded.

Some people who had lived through divorce took the opportunity to remind stefanfection that it’s not his daughter’s job to be his emotional caretaker. “Remember to tell her it is not her job to take care of you even as you appreciate just how much she loves you,” mmlperiwinkle wrote.

"As a child who lived with unhappy parents who let me become their emotional ‘caregiver’ (at the expense of my identity for a very long time), I found this pretty distressing to read. This seems sweet on the surface but letting a child feel responsible for a parent’s emotions is devastating to the child,” tofuandsardines wrote.

However, stefanfection was adamant that he hadn't placed any additional emotional burdens on his daughter and that they were undergoing therapy. “I have discussed this with her. We are going through therapy and getting all the necessary tools we need,” he wrote. “Although we do stuff together and I try to make it look like everything is the best, she can tell there is hurt. It's just life.”

Others chimed in to remind the father that there is plenty of time during summer vacation to do some epic things with his daughter. A group of Redditors exchanged lines from the theme song to “Phineas and Ferb.”

"There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation

And school comes along just to end it

So the annual problem for our generation

Is finding a good way to spend it

Like maybe

Building a rocket or fighting a mummy

Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower

Discovering something that doesn't exist

Or giving a monkey a shower"

The father’s post shows that even in the darkest times, there are wonderful people in this world who will help lead us to the light. In this case, it was his daughter. Even though no one knows how the situation will turn out, the dad seems to be doing the right thing by going to therapy with his daughter.

According to Psychology Today, up to 33% of children develop behavioral problems after their parents divorce. They can have academic challenges, mental health problems and engage in risky sexual behavior and substance use.

Clinical psychologist Patricia P. Martin tells Mass Live that parents and children should talk to mental health professionals while going through a divorce.

“This gives the children a neutral, supportive space to share the confusion, anger, sadness, frustrations they are feeling and to find constructive ways to deal with these emotions,” Martin told MassLive. “I recommend all children of divorce have at least two or three sessions with a mental health professional as a means of screening for problems as well as providing supportive education.”

All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

True

A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.

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