Dad says this 20-minute bonding technique with daughter has made 'a huge difference' in their relationship
"Consciously doing this and being purposeful has been a game changer."

Dad shares bonding technique that brought him closer to his daughter.
Building a strong parental bond between father and daughter is all about spending intentional time together. And for dads who work or have limited time during the days to spend with their daughters, the good news is that a strong relationship can be achieved in less than half an hour.
An enthusiastic dad shared about how a 20-minute bonding technique "made a huge difference" with his daughter on the Reddit thread, r/daddit. "I never really felt bonding and I even felt my child was a bit scared of me or just had a preferred parent. (Still does)," he explained. "But consciously doing this and being purposeful has been a game changer there's last 2 months when she turned 3."
The bonding technique comes from psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen, MD. Called "Special Time," the dad describes it as 20-30 minutes of engagement with a simple purpose: "To foster a stronger connection with children by providing undivided attention and positive interaction."
"This is probably one of the most effective parenting strategies I've given parents, is spend 20 minutes a day with your child. Do something with them they wanna do," Dr. Amen explained in a video on "Special Time." "And during that time, no commands, no questions, no directions. It's just time."
Dr. Amen also adds that the benefits are endless. They include: increased closeness, improved communication, and a more positive relationship with the child.
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Fellow dads weighed in on how it's helped their relationships with their kids thrive. "That kinda explains why my kiddos bonded so well with me over their mother. It's not something I've consciously done, just enjoyed doing. Usually after dinner we'll have a good 30 mins of dedicated playtime before bed," he wrote. "I mostly just used it as a way to get those last bits of energy on the day out. My daughter will just come up to me and say what she wants to do. 'Dada, chase' and we'll chase each other around the house, or 'Dada hide' obv is hide and seek. Which is hilarious with a 3 yo. Her idea of hiding at one point was laying as still as possible on the floor with her head in a diaper box."
Another dad added, "Yeah, being mindful of this and making time for it helps so much. I'm out of the house 55+ hours per week with work and my wife is SAHM, so he's way more attached to her than to me. But this morning I lay under a table in his room for like 30 minutes being the 'cupboard troll,' demanding he pays tolls to receive items from the cupboard."
Dr. Amen's "Special Time" technique is "deceptively easy," parenting coach Keesha Scott, MS, tells Upworthy. "It works because kids don’t just want attention, they want attuned attention. When a parent sets everything else aside, the child feels deeply seen, and that sense of connection becomes the foundation of trust."
"Special Time" also lays a great foundation to build a secure attachment. "A secure attachment allows individuals to move forward in the world feeling safe, empowered, and confident," Reesa Morala, LMFT, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Embrace Renewal Therapy, tells Upworthy. "When you know that someone is in your corner with unconditional positive regard, your body is more willing to try new things and expand themselves because they know someone will be there to support and champion them."
For parents looking to try out "Special Time," it doesn't take much forethought. "That could mean playing a game, telling a story, or just sitting together in a way that feels relaxed. Some of the best moments don’t come from a planned 'session' at all," says Scott.
Morala adds, "Let them teach you a skill or a game. Get silly. Get creative. If you can involve movement, that will naturally get the endorphins (hormones that help with attachment bonds) flowing."