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Being a mom can be hard.

You don't have to be a mom to know that. Obviously, I'll never be a mom and I certainly know it. For moms — especially now, when advice on how to be "the very best" is driving moms to distraction — there's a lot of pressure to be perfect. But what does "perfection" even mean? How do you define it? And does letting your kids enjoy Teddy Grahams (best snack) and too much "Yo Gabba Gabba!" (fun for adults too!) mean you're not setting them up for success?

After all, haven't all moms felt like a "hot mess" at some point? And shouldn't it be OK to admit that?


More and more women are showing up to rebel against the idea of "perfect" motherhood. And that's a good thing.

That's why movies like "Bad Moms" are so popular (and getting sequels) and why you'll find celebs and non-celebs alike speaking out about the realities of motherhood.

And that's why this video of Busy Philipps, who recently sat down with People magazine to answer some anonymous moms' most pressing questions, is pure delight.

Philipps lovingly admits she doesn't have all the answers, but she does give some real talk about the reality of screen time and how hard it can be to make friends with other parents. Of course, the best advice for any parent: "It's all about balance," whether that's how often you change your baby's onesie or how prominent "princess culture" is in your kiddo's world.

Philipps, who just signed on for her very own late-night talk show, has never shied away from speaking openly about the rewards — and the awkward hilarity — of her life as a mom of two.

Listen, anyone who can help their baby perfect a side-eye is a parenting master in my book:

Philipps is a great reminder that nobody has all the answers, and parents don't need to take themselves too seriously.

As Instagram-famous mom Sia Cooper wrote in a viral post in April 2018, "There's no one right way to parent or to be a mom." She continued: "We all are running in the same race and doing the best that we can. Motherhood is not a one size fits all — what works for one family may not work for the next. So who are we to judge another mom's choices or reasoning?"

So why not celebrate all the parents — like Philipps — who are out there doing their best and feeling free to laugh and be open about it? You're nailing it!

All images provided by Adewole Adamson

It begins with more inclusive conversations at a patient level

True

Adewole Adamson, MD, of the University of Texas, Austin, aims to create more equity in health care by gathering data from more diverse populations by using artificial intelligence (AI), a type of machine learning. Dr. Adamson’s work is funded by the American Cancer Society (ACS), an organization committed to advancing health equity through research priorities, programs and services for groups who have been marginalized.

Melanoma became a particular focus for Dr. Adamson after meeting Avery Smith, who lost his wife—a Black woman—to the deadly disease.

melanoma,  melanoma for dark skin Avery Smith (left) and Adamson (sidenote)

This personal encounter, coupled with multiple conversations with Black dermatology patients, drove Dr. Adamson to a concerning discovery: as advanced as AI is at detecting possible skin cancers, it is heavily biased.

To understand this bias, it helps to first know how AI works in the early detection of skin cancer, which Dr. Adamson explains in his paper for the New England Journal of Medicine (paywall). The process uses computers that rely on sets of accumulated data to learn what healthy or unhealthy skin looks like and then create an algorithm to predict diagnoses based on those data sets.

This process, known as supervised learning, could lead to huge benefits in preventive care.

After all, early detection is key to better outcomes. The problem is that the data sets don’t include enough information about darker skin tones. As Adamson put it, “everything is viewed through a ‘white lens.’”

“If you don’t teach the algorithm with a diverse set of images, then that algorithm won’t work out in the public that is diverse,” writes Adamson in a study he co-wrote with Smith (according to a story in The Atlantic). “So there’s risk, then, for people with skin of color to fall through the cracks.”

Tragically, Smith’s wife was diagnosed with melanoma too late and paid the ultimate price for it. And she was not an anomaly—though the disease is more common for White patients, Black cancer patients are far more likely to be diagnosed at later stages, causing a notable disparity in survival rates between non-Hispanics whites (90%) and non-Hispanic blacks (66%).

As a computer scientist, Smith suspected this racial bias and reached out to Adamson, hoping a Black dermatologist would have more diverse data sets. Though Adamson didn’t have what Smith was initially looking for, this realization ignited a personal mission to investigate and reduce disparities.

Now, Adamson uses the knowledge gained through his years of research to help advance the fight for health equity. To him, that means not only gaining a wider array of data sets, but also having more conversations with patients to understand how socioeconomic status impacts the level and efficiency of care.

“At the end of the day, what matters most is how we help patients at the patient level,” Adamson told Upworthy. “And how can you do that without knowing exactly what barriers they face?”

american cancer society, skin cacner treatment"What matters most is how we help patients at the patient level."https://www.kellydavidsonstudio.com/

The American Cancer Society believes everyone deserves a fair and just opportunity to prevent, find, treat, and survive cancer—regardless of how much money they make, the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, gender identity, their disability status, or where they live. Inclusive tools and resources on the Health Equity section of their website can be found here. For more information about skin cancer, visit cancer.org/skincancer.

Pop Culture

Adults share things teens 'aren't ready to hear,' and it's some solid advice for all ages

'Social media is not reality and your entire life should not revolve around it.'

Photo by Sarah Brown on Unsplash

Some trends aren't even worth experimenting with.

No one who has ever lived to see old age has also thwarted growing older. But with age comes the gift of wisdom, along with maybe a wrinkle or two.

However, passing along that hard-earned knowledge isn’t always easy. After all, when we’re younger, the world seems to be much more simple. We are not yet fully aware that things never stop changing—trends that were once the “it” things will eventually become a source of embarrassment. Or worse … come back as “retro” or “nostalgic.” Ouch.

That’s right, kids. Believe it or not, there will come a time when even Billie Eilish isn’t cool anymore!

Of course, we’re not just talking about fashion or taste in music. Hopefully, we all expand our world view after our teenage years, growing more mature, grounded and less self-absorbed. That’s not always the case, of course, but that is the goal.

Reddit user u/Slight_Weight asked folks to share things that teens today “are not ready to hear.” Honestly I expected to find cynical, snarky “kids today don’t know anything” type of comments. But on the contrary, a lot of it really was tough love. And truthfully, much of the advice isn’t age-specific. They’re just good “be a kind human” reminders all around. And then other answers were just plain funny.

Check out 17 of the best answers. For the youngsters, just trust us on this. And for the … um … more refined crowd, you’ll probably relate to them all.
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A meta-analysis from Brigham Young University found that social isolation may increase the risk of premature death by up to 50%. The problem with loneliness is that people suffer in silence and it afflicts the ones we don’t see.

A TikTok user who goes by the name Megan Elizabeth recently shared a touching story on social media about how her grandfather was feeling lonely so he reached out to her. The story shows what can happen when one person is brave enough to confront their social isolation and the important role grandkids can play in their grandparents’ lives.

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Remember Brendan Fraser? 10 years ago, he was one of Hollywood's biggest stars. Then, he suddenly disappeared.

If you were a kid in the late '90s and early '00s, chances are you saw a Brendan Fraser movie. The comedy and action star catapulted to fame behind blockbusters like "The Mummy" franchise, "George of the Jungle," "Looney Tunes: Back in Action," and the Oscar-winning film "Crash."

But after 2008, he largely disappeared from major starring roles. His absence wasn't due to drugs, a sex-scandal, or illness — despite memes and even reported articles speculating about his career arc, with many blaming it on poor career choices.

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