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Opinion: If we want to heal America, we have to welcome former Trump voters with open arms

Opinion: If we want to heal America, we have to welcome former Trump voters with open arms
Photo by Jose M. on Unsplash

Former officials from the George W. Bush administration and campaign launched a super PAC in support of presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden, declaring they "knew it was time to take a stand." They claim that they seek to unite and mobilize a community that is historically Republican voters. The group, consisting of at least 200 former officials, aides and Cabinet secretaries, formed "43 Alumni for Biden" to block President Donald Trump from winning a second term. They claim on their website that there have been "far too many days filled with chaos emanating from the highest levels of government" and that "political differences may remain among us, but we look forward to a time when civil, honest and robust policy discussions are the order of the day."

When I read about "43 Alumni for Biden," it gave me a great sense of hope. Even though I didn't vote for Biden and I'm not a huge fan, I am liberal and think it's important to accept anyone willing to admit that they are disappointed in their political party. It takes someone with real strength to admit the damage that has been done to our nation by Trump's presidency. It takes even more strength to say they voted for Trump, they were wrong and now they want to fix it.

My optimism has less to do with what side they are on and much more to do with the act of reaching across the isle. Almost all politicians have their heels dug on issues that align with their respective political party. The only thing worse than someone trying to prove that they are always right is someone putting all their energy into proving that their counterpart is consistently wrong.

What is even more counterproductive is the person who waggles the "I told you so" finger in the face of someone who has the audacity to change their mind and actually agree with them. Why anyone would shame someone for having the courage to admit they were wrong is a concept that befuddles me to this day. Yet it happens more often than not. The fear of being ridiculed plays a huge role in our inability to be vulnerable. We have an opportunity to come together as a country. As long as we all grow the hell up.

When a politician changes their stance on an issue whether it is because of new information or just a change of heart—especially after reflecting on things and keeping an open mind, they are labeled as a flip flopper. Somehow it seems like they have more credibility if they can say that they believed something all along because it makes them look smart. Ask yourself, who do you trust more: someone who always says they are right or someone who can utter the words "That's a really good point?" We need to take it upon ourselves to be the bigger person.

Remember all that progress you made in your relationship when you screamed at your partner with guns a blazing telling them how wrong they were. Remember when they responded by telling you that you had excellent points and they would try and do better from now on. Oh, wait. You probably can't because that never happens. But I could be wrong (see what I did there).

Now imagine a time when you might have made a mistake, and your partner speaks to you with tenderness and understanding with the inevitable dash of disappointment because, lets face it, you deserve it. I think we would all opt for the undesirable cherry as opposed to a full on sundae of shame.

We are imperfect emotional beings and protect our psyche like a dog learning the boundaries of a newly installed invisible electric fence. Once our pride gets zapped, we are less likely to venture out as far, and in fact, will most likely recoil deep within the boundaries of our comfort zone.

The people involved with 43 Alumni for Biden have been able to reassess the state of the Republican party to which they held such loyalty. Just because they are supporting a Democrat in Joe Biden, doesn't mean they need to turn their back on their traditional Republican views. This is about more than just taking a step back and putting aside any blind loyalty one might have to their respective political party. It is unclear what percentage of the organization voted for Donald Trump in 2016. I am going to guess not very many punched a chad for Hillary Clinton.

When you vote for someone, you have put your trust in them. That leads to defending any perceived missteps they may have had because you advocated and believed in them. The more controversy there is, the more you feel the need to justify your vote and defend them even more. Then you find yourself defending the fact that you are defending them and believe the negative news coverage is a lie or a smear campaign.

I did it with both Bill and Hillary Clinton in the midst of everything that was being said about them. Then I stopped and thought about what my thought process would be if it was George W. Bush that was being accused of the exact same things. It was the moment I realized I wasn't being honest with myself. The diagnosis? We protect our ego on subconscious and primal level and fear the vulnerability that comes with admitting that we were misguided. Once we are able to face that, we can really get to the core of why we don't budge.

We are going to need all the communication skills we can muster up because if you think the months were bizarre leading up to the 2016 election, I am pretty sure Kanye West has something special planned for us. Buckle your seatbelt and open your minds because just when you thought 2020 couldn't possibly have any surprises, things are about to get even weirder.

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Family

Want your home to be 'the house' for your teens? Mom shares her 4 tips to make it happen.

Don't mistake being "the house" with being the "cool house."

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood
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Amy White explains how her house became "the house" for her teens.

I grew up in "the house." In high school, my home was the designated place where my friends gathered, sometimes in big groups, sometimes just my small core squad. My three best friends spent the night there almost every Friday and/or Saturday night for four years straight. We devoured Totino's frozen pizzas by the dozen, inhaled soda, and laid waste to any snacks or leftovers that were brave enough to survive in the kitchen. Not only that, but my house was pretty small — four teenage boys took up a lot of space in the living room (the whole thing) and made a lot of noise playing video games deep into the night. It must have driven my parents and older brothers crazy. It's a wonder anyone put up with it.

Or so I thought when I was younger. When I became a parent myself, I started to understand a little more why my mom and dad were so willing to host and feed all my friends and me every single weekend. Why the outrageous grocery bill and constant chaos in the house were probably a small price to pay.

Mom explains how to make your house 'the house' where teenagers hang

One mom has perfectly encapsulated the value of turning your home into "the house" for your kids and their friends, and exactly how she did it for her family.

teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teens hanging out in a living room.via Canva/Photos

Amy White shared a reel on Instagram showing her college-aged son hanging in her dining room with a group of friends playing cards. The text overlay reads "What makes your kids' high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break." I think most parents can agree that we want our kids to keep coming home as long as possible! So how exactly did White pull this off?

Her explanation in the caption was spot-on.

First, White says that you have to start early. Become "the hang out house" in high school or even earlier. Then you have a better chance of holding onto the mantle into your kid's college years.


Next, be ready to stock the house with snacks and drinks, and don't make a fuss when your kid's friends have at it. "The kids knew we had food," she writes, "BUT they also knew I didn't care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge."

Third, and this is a big one, don't mistake being the "cool house" for being "the house." Some parents choose to allow their underage kids and friends to drink alcohol under their supervision, but you don't have to bend your morals and the law to lure the squad over to your place. Pizza and Coke is plenty to keep most teens happy. "We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!"

teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teenagers eating pizza.via Canva/Photos

Fourth, always say Yes (as often as possible, anyway) when your kids want to have friends over. "They know my answer is 99% of the time YES," White writes. "You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was 'open' to their friends in high school, they know it will be 'open' to their friends in college."

As a bonus tip, White pleas with parents not to worry about the mess having friends over makes. "I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house 'clean.'"

Should parents allow teens to drink at home?

There's an age-old debate over whether parents should allow teens to drink at home because it's better than if they do is unsupervised or keep their home dry as a bone. A recent study out of the University of Buffalo found that kids who grew up drinking at home had a greater chance of having addiction problems when they got older. "A robust relationship was found between parental permission to use alcohol during adolescence and increased alcohol use frequency and quantity, alcohol use disorder symptoms, and alcohol-related harms in young adulthood," the study says.

White writes, "It's worth being 'the house', so let go of control & get to know your kids friends." Commenters agreed.

White's video went viral to the tune of 8.5 million views and hundreds of comments. Parents shared their own experiences of what it's like being the default hang out house.

"Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays"

"A wise man once said don't be the house with the alcohol. Be the house with the food."

"Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it"


teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teenagers eating pizza.via Canva/Photos

"We never allowed alcohol, drugs, bad language, always respectful, and guess what, our house was always the house where the kids hung out. First my daughter, then my son. Through grade school, high school, then when my kids went out of state for college their college friends would come spend a couple weeks during the summer. I always thought of it this way, I loved knowing my kids friends and, who knows, maybe some of those kids, especially during the younger years, just maybe those kids just needed an adult to care. Anyway, it was always fun to have them here!"

"It used to crack me up when my daughter would bring over a bunch of her friends (girls and boys) in high school and instead of hanging out in the family room they all wanted to crowd into either the kitchen with me or our tiny office and happily share all the gossip with me."

Experts say that knowing your kids' friends, and their parents, can have huge benefits. Not only will it bring you the peace of mind of knowing where your kid is and who they're with when they get to those crucial high school years, it has been shown to tangibly improve kids ability to create positive relationships and problem-solve collaboratively. Plus, it can actually be really fun! Kids and teens are the funniest, silliest, most interesting people on the planet. Having a house full of them is messy and loud, but it's always a good time.

One caveat: "don’t feel bad if your house isn’t the chosen house," one commenter reminds us. "Just be happy your kid has a good group of friends and be thankful they have somewhere safe to hang out."

This article originally appeared last year.

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Brave man tries some of history's strangest sandwiches, including banana and liverwurst

Did you know there's such a thing as a popcorn sandwich?

sandwiches of history, food history, sandwiches, sandwich recipes, recipes, weird sandwiches, foodies of tiktok, food
@sandwichesofhistory/TikTok, used with permission

People sure loved their tinned fish

Long before the Earl of Sandwich gave the dish its name, folks were sticking various ingredients—some genius, some highly questionable—between two pieces of bread. Arguably, what has made the sandwich withstand the test of time is that it virtually has no rules as far as fillings go. So, even in times of economic hardship, one could place whatever items they had on hand in between a measly couple of slices of toast, and it could still be considered a meal.

Still, while we applaud the ingenuity, certain sandwich recipes have stayed in the past for a good reason, as food enthusiast Barry W. Enderwick can attest. Over on his wildly popular Sandwiches of History account, Enderwick recreates historical sandwich recipes from old cookbooks, rates and reviews them, and even sometimes “pluses them up” with added ingredients to really make it sing.

As to be expected, some sandwiches, such as Gene Kelly’s Greatest Man Sandwich, featuring mashed potatoes and accompanied by a mug of beer, were surprise delights. Others…not so much. If there’s one thing to be learned after reading this, it’s that people in olden times put sardines where sardines should absolutely not be.

Thankfully, Enderwick has bravely volunteered to be a taste-tester. Here are some of his most head-scratching recreations.

Apple Sandwich (1910)

@sandwichesofhistory Apple Sandwich (1910) on Sandwiches of History⁣ Perhaps after yesterday’s Banana and Liverwurst Sandwich I should be leery of fruit based sandwiches. Thankfully, today’s Apple Sandwich from 250 Meatless Menus and Recipes of 1910 has no curveball ingredients. In fact, it is a very nice refresher…especially after yesterday. #fyp #sandwichesofhistory #apple ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

This recipe was gleaned from 250 Meatless Meals and Recipes. Mix half of a peeled and grated tart apple with cream cheese and heavy cream. Season with nutmeg and spread onto whole wheat bread. Yeah, it’s easy to see why Enderwick gave it an 8 and dubbed it a “very nice refresher.”

Spaghetti Sandwich (1931)

@sandwichesofhistory Spaghetti Sandwich (1931) on Sandwiches of History⁣ Every once in a while…well, ok more often than I’d like, there comes a sandwich with a name that belies what it is really in it. To wit, today’s Spaghetti Sandwich from the St. Louis Dispatch published 1931. Is there spaghetti in it? Sure, but it’s the other ingredients and the bread that do a number on this sandwich. Shout out to Jesse who sent in this...I think? lol #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

You’d think this one would be self-explanatory: tomato sauce, meat, and cheese between two slices of bread…maybe some noodles if we’re going crazy. But spend any time with Sandwiches of History, and all you learn that many sandwiches are incredibly misleading with their names, and the Spaghetti Sandwich is one of them.

There are, in fact, spaghetti noodles involved, along with a sieved hard-boiled egg, chopped onion, parsley, mayo, sardines, all mashed together into a paste and served on…what for it…buttered raisin bread

To no one's surprise, Enderwick threw it into the trash and gave it a 1.

Banana and Liverwurst Sandwich (1931)

@sandwichesofhistory Banana and Liverwurst Sandwich (1931) on Sandwiches of History⁣ I know what you’re thinking, “finally, the great tasted of liverwurst and the great taste of banana in one sandwich!” Slow your roll because you’re forgetting about the awesome power of ketchup which obviously bring those to flavors together. See also sarcasm. Ever since seeing this posted over on 70s Dinner Party’s on Instagram account I knew I’d have to tackle it. Better to rip the band aid off in go, right? #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ Souvenir De Paris - Martin Taylor

Buckle up, cause this one’s a doozy. Half of a banana (Enderwick noted that in this time period, the commonly used banana species would be even MORE “banana-y,” making this even grosser) is added to liverwurst and ketchup, then mashed together. Salt to taste. Put on buttered bread. Pray for a quick death.

Enderwick called the sandwich a “textural nightmare,” threw it away, and gave it a .5. May this kind of nourishment never find me.

Pineapple Roquefort Sandwich (1965)

@sandwichesofhistory Pineapple-Roquefort Sandwich (1965) on Sandwiches of History⁣ Kicking 2026 off right with what seemed like an oddball sandwich from 1965’s Cookin’ with Dr. Pepper. Now, I know folks use Dr. Pepper in all kinds of recipes but the combo of tangy Roquefort (which is a blue cheese) and Dr. Pepper didn’t quite sound right to me. Well, about that… At any rate, I found out about this cookbook via post on the Instagram account june_cleavers_vintage_closet_ which linked to a different recipe. #fyp #sandwichesofhistory #sandwiches ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory


Gleaned from the Cookin’ with Dr. Pepper cookbook, the recipe says to mix cream cheese, pineapple, Roquefort cheese, Worcestershire sauce, Dr. Pepper (of course), along with paprika and salt together, then fold in pecans and onions. Chill the batch and spread onto bread.

Enderwick gave this an 8 after adding a few pineapple chunks for extra texture, and noted that you could taste the Dr. Pepper in it.

Onion and Mayo Sandwich (1927)

@sandwichesofhistory Onion and Mayonnaise Sandwich (1927) on Sandwiches of History Today, we’ve got a doozy of a sandwich from 1927’s Salads and Sandwiches. I don’t want to give anything away but the Onion and Mayonnaise Sandwich has several surprises in store for us. None of them awful, just…well, odd. #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

The Salads and Sandwiches Cookbook of 1927 says to soak onions in water for an hour, then dip them in a vinaigrette with cayenne pepper. Place the onions along with some corned beef onto buttered rye bread. The end.

At this point, you might be wondering, where's the mayo? There isn’t any! This one got a 6.5

Peanut Butter Sandwich…with Olives and Sardines! (1915)

These were technically two different (yet equally horrifying) options from the monster who created 100 Picnic Suggestions. Enderwick gave the peanut-butter-and-olives sandwich a 4.5, and the peanut-butter-and-sardines a 3.5, but when “plussed” up with other ingredients, they went up to 5.5 and 6.5, respectively. Too generous, if you ask me.

Popcorn Sandwich (1909)

@sandwichesofhistory The Popcorn Sandwich (it’s not even a sandwich!) #fyp #sandwichesofhistory #sandwichtok ♬ Happy (Instrumental) - By Line

As Enderwick will tell you, this one barely qualifies as a sandwich, since it’s open-faced. But that’s the least of its offences, apparently. To make the sandwich, you’ll need freshly popped popcorn, sardines (oh dear, not again), salt, a pinch of cayenne pepper, ketchup, and a dash of Worcestershire sauce, all mashed up together. Slather that on hot buttered toast, and top with Parmesan. Bon appetit.

Enderwick could only describe it as “some kind of really terrible tuna melt,” and didn’t even bother to give it a ranking.

Prune Sandwich (1940)

@sandwichesofhistory Prune Sandwich (1940) on Sandwiches of History⁣ Growing up, I always thought of prunes and grandparents food. After all, they were the only ones I ever eat them. Yet, given how many prune based sandwiches I see in these old recipe books, I kinda get why. So many! You’d be forgiven for thinking today’s sandwich, the Prune Sandwich, was just prunes between buttered bread. Oh no, it’s…I want to say…more than that? #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

According to the White Lilly Cooking Guide, you’ll need to brown some almonds in shortening in a pan, then mix that in “prune pulp”…ground up prunes, essentially. This all sounds fine enough until you see that the recipe also calls for Indian relish, which is like a dill pickle relish with some added things like cabbage. Yeah.

Honestly, it could have been worse. Enderwick gave it a 4. Sadly, adding cheese did nothing.

Pineapple and Anchovy Cheese Sandwich (1935)

@sandwichesofhistory Pineapple Anchovy Cheese Sandwich (1935) on Sandwiches of History⁣ So you might be wondering, why is this cookbook from 1935 called Five Feet of Flavor. Apparently, when you put the pineapple spears that came in the can end-to-end it measured out to five feet. Of course, that is just a distraction from the fact that it contains a recipe for the Pineapple Anchovy Cheese Sandwich. Sigh…go home, 1935. You’ve clearly had one too many lunch martinis. #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

This final recipe comes from Five Feet of Flavor: A New Style. Just when you thought you’d escaped the clutch of sardines, a new tinned fish enters the chat. The recipe calls for pounding anchovy paste and cream cheese into a paste. Spread onto buttered bread. Then top with pineapple spears. Dear god.

Into the trash it went. As Enderwick explained, the flavors of the pineapple and cream cheese worked…until you get that fishy component. This one got a 2.

Obviously there are plenty of winners that Enderwick has tried—the Bocadillo de Gambas y Pimientos from Spain, the Pakistan Club Sandwich, and the Katsu Sando from Japan were all heavy-hitters for 2025—but one major thing we can glean from his experiments is that some things are best left in the past.

Follow Sandwiches of History for even more cool culinary content.

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3 simple words that helped Robert Frost stay resilient through a lifetime of anxiety and depression

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life."

robert frost, poet robert frost, robert frost poem, robert frost poems, writer robert frost
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American poet Robert Frost as a young man in 1910 and again in 1949.

Poet Robert Frost created inspiring poems that are beloved around the world. Frost was known for his simple yet deep style of poetry, and, although he didn't publish his first book until he was 40, he went on to earn four Pulitzer Prizes.

He created a body of work that continues to touch people. Yet, like many great artists, Frost struggled with his mental health throughout his life. (Frost was born in 1874 and died in 1963.) William & Mary English Professor and Frost biographer Henry Hart found that many of Frost's relatives struggled with schizophrenia as well as depression.

"Throughout his life, he struggled to fit in. His education was irregular, routinely disrupted when Frost dropped out after suffering attacks of anxiety and depression that expressed themselves in various physical ailments," notes the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH).

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Frost experienced many hardships during his life, beginning at a young age. His father William Prescott Frost, Jr., died when he was just 11 years old. His sister Jeanie would later suffer from mental illness, and died in a mental hospital.

Frost would go on to marry his high school girlfriend, Elinor White, in 1895. The couple had six children, a blessing that came with loads of tragedy.

"Four of Frost’s six children died before he did, including Carol, the son who committed suicide. Frost’s daughter Irma suffered mental problems that required hospitalization, and Elinor battled anxiety, too. She died of heart failure in 1938," according to the NEH. "Frost’s own bouts of depression brought physical and mental anguish. 'Cast your eye back over my family luck, and perhaps you will wonder if I haven’t had pretty near enough,' he lamented at one point."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

His wife Elinor was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1937, and died in 1938 from heart disease. "She had been the unspoken half of everything I ever wrote," Frost said. He would go on to live 26 more years without her.

Through these challenges, Frost developed resilience and perseverance. One of his most famous quotes describes his advice on how he pushed through:

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

The quote is reported to come from a September 1954 interview with journalist Ray Josephs for This Week Magazine. During the interview, Josephs asks Frost, "In all your years and all your travels, what do you think is the most important thing you’ve learned about life?"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

From there, Frost shared his wise insights.

"He paused a moment, then with the twinkle sparkling under those brambly eyebrows he replied: 'In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on. In all the confusions of today, with all our troubles . . . with politicians and people slinging the word fear around, all of us become discouraged . . . tempted to say this is the end, the finish. But life — it goes on. It always has. It always will. Don’t forget that.'"

Frost died at age 88 in 1963 and was buried in Bennington, Vermont, next to his wife Elinor. Honest about life's struggles to the end, Frost's gravestone reads: "I had a lover's quarrel with the world."

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How a beloved kids game in Ghana became the Jenga phenomenon we all know today

Jenga first took the world by storm in the 1980's.

Jenga; family game night; board games; original Jenga; who started Jenga; Jenga creator; Jenga from Africa
Photo credit: Canva

A couple plays Jenga.

Game night is something that lots of friends and families enjoy around the world, and certain games have become staples. Monopoly, Trouble, and Scrabble are games most Americans are intimately familiar with, but another has risen to the top of the heap. Jenga is played in dining rooms around the world. There's even a giant version that's often played at bars, pubs, and backyard barbecues.

It's a game made of wooden rectangular blocks stacked to form a tower. Each row of blocks is laid in a different direction to create a stable foundation as players begin removing blocks one by one and placing them on top of the weakening tower. Eventually, the tower collapses when an unlucky player removes a weight-bearing block. But the anxiety-inducing game didn't start in America.

Jenga; family game night; board games; original Jenga; who started Jenga: Jenga creator; Jenga from Africa Focused fun: A child plays a tower block game.Photo credit: Canva

The game didn't start in Europe either, though the woman who trademarked the simple wooden game lives there. Before Leslie Scott decided to sell her childhood game to the masses, she lived in several African countries. While living in Ghana with her family, Scott was near a timber mill where children often collected small discarded pieces of wood, called "Takoradi Bricks," and stacked them on top of one another. According to Ghanaian content creator Kobe Boujee, the game was popular among local children and was called "Osiadan," which means "one who builds," or "a builder."

Scott never mentions the game as something commonly played by other children in her Ghanaian town, though it's possible she was unaware of that. She and her brother were in different age groups. When he was playing with blocks, Scott was a senior in high school, making it plausible that he picked up the game from other children in town without his sister's knowledge. When their parents moved the family to England, they brought the Takoradi Bricks with them.

Scott tells YouTube's Seize the Play:

"Takoradi was the main port in Ghana. Having had this set for him, we then actually had a few sets made deliberately to play this game that we called Takoradi Bricks. I mean, our family just played games. We made games out of everything, so it's of no particular surprise that he's playing with his blocks, and we sort of push him out of the way and start playing with his blocks. I mean, that was the basis of the game, the game that then I turned into Jenga."

In the interview, Scott acknowledges hearing people describe the game as African, telling the interviewer, "This wasn't a game that existed. I often hear people saying, 'you know it's an African game.' Well, it wasn't. There's no evidence of anybody playing a game with little wooden blocks like that in any sort of culture."

If the game was localized because of the children's proximity to the timber mill, it's possible it was never widely documented. It's also possible, however, that the formal game didn't exist before Scott’s family created it.

After bringing the game to England, it became popular among the family's friends, prompting Scott to trademark it and begin producing it for sale. The game was originally called Kujenga, a Swahili word meaning "to build." Eventually, the name was shortened to Jenga, and although it didn't sell well at first, it began to take off in the mid-'80s.

Whether the Ghanaian content creator is correct that the game originated with local children, or Scott is correct that her family created it, the game was developed in Ghana. But before deciding to market Jenga to the masses, Scott made a small change to the rules. By adding each removed block to the top of the tower, she transformed it into a uniquely Scott creation and the blood-pressure-raising game the world has come to love.

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People share the 15 signs you should know it's time to leave a party

"If the host starts cleaning up instead of socializing, it's either time to help or time to leave."

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via Renata Chebel/Flickr

Two women having a good time at a party.

There's something incredibly satisfying about knowing the right time to leave a party. You felt the vibe was about to shift in the wrong direction, so you grabbed your coat, said some goodbyes, and hit the door. Then, when you hear the next day that the couple who hosted the party got into a big argument that brought everything to a halt, you can be proud you called it.

Knowing when to bail means making sure you don't have to console somebody who got into a disagreement with their significant other, talk to the cops, or sit through someone picking up an acoustic guitar and playing bad Nirvana covers.

acoustic guitar, party, lighter, singing, harmonica, house party A guy playing guitar at a party. via AG Gilmore/Flickr

Becoming a trained professional in the world of partying doesn't just happen overnight; it comes from years of experience honing a keen social Spidey sense. The folks on Reddit came together to share the signs it's time to leave a party, hoping to protect younger people from making the same mistakes they did.

The answers fall into two lanes: the first focuses on recognizing when the host wants to wind things down, and the second on signs the party is about to go sideways.

15 signs that it's time to leave the party

1. Leave before round 2

"When that one guy who got drunk first and had to be airlifted into a bed to come to his senses at the beginning of the party gets up and is ready for round two. Time to go, you do not want to see round two."

"You absolutely do want to see round two, just from the safety of your own place, the next day, laughing at the photos people took."

2. Take the "well" clue

"Host puts their hands on their knees, stands up and says 'Well, it's getting late.'"

"Slap the knees and say 'right' is the British way."

3. Host cleans, you leave

"If the host starts cleaning up instead of socializing, it's either time to help or time to leave."

"A friend of mine would regularly stop the music, yell '10 second tidy!' and everyone would just start picking up bottles and stuff and clean up. It was always quite fun and somehow never a buzz kill."

4. The first drunk cry

"When that one girl starts drunk-crying and making a scene for nothing."

"Since everyone is sharing stories; I used to work in hotels and we would often have parties at someone's house after shifts. There was one girl in particular who was sweet as pie and super shy when sober, but when drunk, she turned into an absolute mess. After she got drunk, started crying and then locked herself in the bathroom for multiple hours, two parties in a row, we stopped inviting her."

"I see you've met my brother's wife. There is always a moment at family gatherings when she starts her sh*t, my husband and I look at each other and announce we are leaving. Staying never ends well."

Why is it that some people get extra happy when they drink, while others get depressed? Researchers aren't sure of the exact reason, but polls show that around 2% of people regularly cry when they drink alcohol. Scientists suggest that drinking may increase some people's stress response, which can leave them crying in their beer.

bbq, bar b que, back yard party, argument, beer, Argument at a backyard party.via Canva/Photos

5. When the dog gets nervous

"This is for real. If the dog's trying to deuce out, I'm gone too."

"This is the one. The dogs know what's coming."

6. If the host yawns

"When the hosts yawn, leave. If the hosts don't yawn, leave by the time half the guest have. Don't stay until the end unless it's your best friend."

"Yeah, basically just observe the hosts. It's not always a yawn. Sometimes they go into this thousand-yard stare, sometimes they excuse themselves and start cleaning up, sometimes they just start looking at their phone or watch a bit more than usual."

7. Weird dudes roll up

"A group of males that no one really knows show up."

"This happened at a house party I was at once. The host was a female and asked who they came with, and they just stared at her and left the room and went to the backyard. It was so creepy. It was 5 or 6 guys and absolutely no one at the party knew them. She ended up calling the police because she was scared to tell them to leave."


house party, res solo cup, beers, rager, big party, fun party People hanging out at a house party.via Canva/Photos

8. When the phones come out

"In my experience, when someone shares a YouTube video they're excited about. The video is fine, but it inevitably leads to 'Oh, that reminds me of one I saw!' leading to an unending chain of people sharing videos, most of the group bored at any given one. The party is over, now its just people watching Youtube. Bail."

"Underrated answer. I looooathe the end of night YouTube loop."

9. Trust your gut

"As soon as your gut tells you to leave. Don't let anyone convince you to stay if you have that feeling."

10. It depends on your age

"In your teens: any vomiting.

In your 20s: it's just you and the host's closest friends, and everyone left there is a closer friend than you.

In your 30s: the babysitter needs to get home.

In your 40s: no one needs encouragement. Our pajamas start calling us immediately after dinner."

11. Leave by midnight

"Been a bartender for several several years. NOTHING good happens after midnight. It's just drunk people and the people trying to take advantage of them."


hungover, hangover, sleeping on floor, after the party, disco ball, the next day A woman who slept on the floor.via Canva/Photos

12. When it moves to the front lawn

"When the party spills outside the house cause the cops are coming."

"The first time a neighbor complains. They may have already called the cops."

13. When the "Grease Megamix" comes on

"I always left office Christmas parties when the DJ played Grease Megamix. After 20 years in the industry, I deduced that this was a distinctive sign that everything was going to go downhill rapidly from that point. My advice to young people when hearing Grease Megamix at a company party:

Put down your drink.
Get your coat.
Vacate the premises using the nearest exit in a calm and ordinary manner."

"The only time i've heard the Grease Megamix in the wild was at a wedding in the middle of nowhere, and sh*t got weird soon after. fighting, crying, screaming, throwing things—mostly by the couple's relatives, all of them over 50. you're absolutely right, it always goes downhill after the megamix."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

14. When the badmouthing begins

"When everyone just starts bad mouthing each other and no one is actually socializing lol. like what's the point?"

15. If you're the only woman there

"As a woman?? You show up and you're either the only girl there or one of the only girls there...you won't be having a good time."

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