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Mom takes away tween daughter's phone and tablet—and notices "immediate" change

"Not even 24 hours later I have a totally different kid."

Image via Canva/Alena Ozerova

Mom and tween daughter have a better relationship after taking away her phone and tablet.

Most kids these days have phones. In a 2025 survey conducted by Florida State University on the digital media use of American tweens aged 11-13 years old, nearly 80% of kids in the age range had a smart phone—with one-third of them reporting they got their first phone by the age of 10.

And while the impacts of phone access for tweens is still being studied, a 2024 study published in the Journal of Human Development and Capabilities found that kids under 13 who owned smartphones reported worse mental health outcomes than those who didn't.

Phone use is a common issue many parents navigate with their tweens these days. And a mom with a tween daughter (who she says is currently 12 years old going on 13), shared with fellow parents on the subreddit r/Parenting the major changes she noticed after taking away her daughter's phone and tablet access.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained, "Long story short, there was a lot of toxic stuff happening between the kids, and it was all through these huge group chats. They’d be constantly in contact, texting each other, FaceTiming, etc. And the way they spoke to each other wasn’t healthy, it was vulgar and rude under the guise of being quirky."

The mom's resolution? "I went nuclear. Immediately had her hand over her devices. Bought an AirTag for her backpack so I can find her when I pick her up from school. The only screen she can use is the living room tv," she explained. "This sounds harsh, but I had previously tried adjusting screen time settings to be more strict and it wasn’t yielding the results I wanted. So a full detox it is."

To her shock, she shared how her daughter practically transformed overnight. "And oh boy, not even 24 hours later I have a totally different kid,," she wrote. "She is out of her bedroom. She wants to be around us! She’s engaging with her little sister and laughing with us. Boredom has been so, so good. And we’re only on day 2 right now. What I thought would feel like a miserable punishment has actually lifted her up and brought her spark back."

@pagesix

The Kelce girls will not be reliant on cell phones when they get older. 🎥: Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce

The story resonated with parents and teachers alike, who shared their experiences dealing with tweens and technology use. Another mom shared, "We've recently had to cut our child's screen time too. She's a similar age, and was also isolating herself, sullen, bored, angry all the time, etc, and it turned out there were some unideal conversations happening. She's like a different kid too. Even playing with her younger siblings! This was all on a school-issued laptop, thankfully her teacher was on board and said she'd rather her not do her homework if that's what was needed. It almost feels like she's relieved we took control. We are going to do things so differently from now on."

One educator commented, "As a teacher in a state with the new banned cell laws, I can tell you it is working. I have students participating in class discussions, they are turning work in. They are focused. There are still those who will not work but we had the same type of students when I was a student before cell phones. It’s been a game changer in our district."

One parent explained how they plan to address their son's tech accessibility, commenting, "I am planning to get my 11 year old a watch that can text, make calls from the watch, see his location, etc. About the same price as a phone and corresponding plan but fewer of the headaches," they wrote.

Other parents offered helpful resources. "The book The Anxious Generation is a must read for all parents. The research supports taking away smartphones and tablets and social media," one added. Another noted, "Another good one: Stolen Focus."

How parents can delegate phone use with tweens

Many parents are processing how to delegate or cut off phone use with their tweens, deciding what is healthiest and realistic for them.

"Tweens are at a critical stage where their brains are still developing key skills like self-regulation, patience, and resilience," Tessa Stuckey, MA, LPC, a mental health counselor and founder of LookUp (a nonprofit resource to support families facing the growing challenges of screen use and social media), tells Upworthy.

She adds that constant access to phones and tablets interferes with that development by "offering instant gratification, endless comparison, and exposure to content they’re not emotionally ready for. Taking a break allows their brains and bodies to reset—helping them rediscover creativity, real connection, and the ability to tolerate boredom, which is essential for growth."

Here are three tips to help you navigate phone use with your tween:

Tip #1: Establish clear boundaries early
Stuckey notes that parents should make it clear from the start that devices are tools, not toys.

"Set family rules about when, where, and how they can be used—for example, no devices in bedrooms at night and no screens at the dinner table," she says. "By sticking to these rules consistently, kids learn that screens are a privilege, not a right."

Tip #2: Replace, don’t just remove
When you cut off screen time, have alternatives ready.

"Encourage activities that naturally release dopamine and bring joy—like going outside, playing a game, cooking together, or simply letting them get bored," says Stuckey. "This not only makes the transition easier but also teaches them how to regulate without always relying on a device."

Tip #3: Use screens intentionally together
Not all screen use is harmful if it’s guided.

"Watch a show together, look up a recipe, or FaceTime with family—modeling intentional use shows kids the difference between mindless scrolling and purposeful connection," Stuckey explains. "Over time, they’ll learn that the healthiest way to use devices is with balance and purpose."

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New moms share the 'weird' advice that helped them survive their first year of motherhood

"Sometimes all you can do is try new ideas, often nonsensical ones."

Image via Canva

New moms share best "weird" hacks that helped them in first year of motherhood.

New moms in their first year of motherhood are modern-day superheroes. They are masters in the art of powering through. New moms know that sometimes you have to resort to weird and unexpected hacks to take care of tired, hungry, and crying babies.

Over on Reddit in a subforum of parents, member Lina_reese shared her thoughts on "the weirdest advice I got as a new mom… and it actually helped!" She went on to explain, "One day my friend told me, 'Just take a shower if the baby won’t sleep,' and I laughed. Like, this is the time for me to shower? He’s the one who needs to sleep!"

She decided to take her friend's advice. And to her surprise, it worked. "But believe it or not, as soon as I stepped away and relaxed for a bit, he started calming down too. I had no idea how much my own energy affected him. Now whenever I feel overwhelmed, I try to take a small break and it often helps both of us," she added.

She concluded her post by asking other new moms to share their "weirdest" parenting hacks that also helped them with their new babies. These are 16 of the best pieces of advice that fellow new moms offered that helped them survive early days with new babies.

baby, newborn baby, new baby, new born, babies Loop Baby GIF Giphy

"I would put my twins in their cribs when they were tired/it was nap time and go shower. Within a week they barely cried when I put them down. It was huge for my mental health to have 10 minutes without crying babies and gave me a much needed reset. The inadvertent sleep training was a cherry on top. This is something I share with new moms because there is so much guilt involved in letting a baby cry. You can't pour from an empty cup though." —igloo1234

"Baby not sleeping? Turn on your favorite music and dance, you'll calm down and baby will fall asleep. It made sleep time, 1000x better." —mallowpuff9

"If they're big enough for baby wearing, I would wear them on my back and clean the kitchen. They always fell asleep while I was hand washing dishes when they got backed up and wiping down countertops/ table. I also turned on the TV to watch/listen to something adulty for my own entertainment." —Dr_mombie

"Use earplugs if the baby is colicky or whining a lot. It doesn’t make you a bad parent if you’re tending to their needs. I joked that the only thing I could control is if there was two people crying, and earplugs helped me deal with rocking a colicky baby for hours and stay sane." —zazrouge

ear plugs, earplug, baby crying, noise, noise gif the narrator GIF Giphy

"Baby won't stop crying? Take them outside. That's it. They'll almost always stop once they're outside. And if they don't stop, at least it doesn't sound as loud out there." —RoRoRoYourGoat

"Outside or water. Even just splashing around in the bath is enough to change the vibe." —littlescreechyowl

"Sometimes all you can do is try new ideas, often nonsensical ones, until you find one that works. Will the fourth silly idea that ended up working work tomorrow? Nope. Would it have worked if you tried it first? Who knows!" —jimmyw404

"I find that, if invested in something (a project, playing a game, etc) most people can easily push themselves past their bedtime without even realizing how tired they really are. The act of wanting to continue and having the thing you want to continue doing in front of you helps keep you going. And then once you stop doing what you were doing and sit down for a few minutes, it often catches up in a huge wave. Same thing applies to kids and babies. When the stimulation ends, it's easier for them to fall asleep." —thegimboid

"Make a Spotify playlist of songs you know the words to. Overwhelmed and can't think of a song? Pop in an earbud and sing along. Calm baby and yourself." —Icy_Marsupial5003

lullaby, singing, baby music, sing along, sing song Shawn Mendes Kiss GIF by BuzzFeed Giphy

"I had just given birth, still in the hospital, had a 21 month at home. A nurse told me, to help with jealously, the 21 month old remembers being the only child. the baby doesnt. Take care of his needs, put him down to sleep, play with the 21 month old like she was the only child. After a few weeks, when the baby didn't sleep as much she realized he was not to bad and OK to keep around. Never had a once of jealously. 20 years later, they are still best friends." —bethaliz6894

"Infant probiotics. At some point I read that a lot of colicky babies are dealing with digestive upset, and someone recommended clinical-grade infant probiotics, and they were a lifesaver. People love to recommend gripe water, but I was ON IT with the probiotics whether he or I had just been on antibiotics, or he had diarrhea, etc. Total game changer." —invah

"When you get mad at your kid, look at his tiny hands." —CaptainSensible17

baby, baby hands, hands, baby hands gif, babies Way To Go Good Job GIF by Ginghamsburg Church Giphy

"When your kid is really driving you crazy, get down on the floor with them and play. Look at the world from their point of view." —plantverdant

"I don’t remember who told me about the 1-2-3 hours nap schedule but I tried it and was blown away. When your baby ( not a newborn) wakes up, look at the time. Put them back down for a first nap again 1 hour after. When they wake again, they stay up for 2 hours. Then after the next nap it’s 3 hours, and then bedtime for the night. Put them in their crib before they are showing you physical signs of being over tired." —majadadim

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20-year-old woman agreed to a closed adoption for her baby, then got a wonderful surprise

Opening up a closed adoption is a risky decision. For this family, it paid off.

via CBS News/YouTube
A journal detailing Steven Schoebinger's young life.

At Upworthy, we love sharing the “best of humanity” with our audience, and this story out of Utah, originally reported by CBS News’ Steve Hartman, shows the power of love to break down barriers.

When Schauna Austin, 48, was 20 years old, she got pregnant and knew she wasn’t ready to raise a child, so she made the difficult decision to give the baby up for adoption.

She gave birth to a son she named Riley and only had three days to spend with him before surrendering him to his new family. So, she held him tight for 72 hours straight.

"It was perfect," Austin said about those three emotionally-charged days. "I knew I would have him for a short time, so I made every minute count of it. I didn't sleep for three days." It must have been tough for Austin to give up her son because the grieving process of surrender and adoption can be incredibly difficult.

Riley was given to Chris and Jennifer Schoebinger in a closed adoption, who decided to change his name to Steven.

In a closed adoption, the birth mother, Austin, would not receive any information about the adoptive family. In Utah, closed adoptions are a rarity these days, with about 95% allowing some exchange of information between the birth and adoptive parents. Usually, the birth parents have a good deal of input over whether they prefer to have regular contact or not with the adoptive family.

However, about a week later, the Schoebingers made a major decision.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The Schoebingers decided Austin should be involved in Steven’s life. They wanted to officially open the closed adoption.

You can imagine that it's a big and potentially risky decision for adoptive parents to bring in a birth parent. It could complicate things, stir up difficult feelings, or even bring conflict into their lives. But the Schoebingers weren't worried about any of that.

"It was like, 'OK, this is the way it should be. She was part of our family,'" Jennifer told CBS News.

"You know, you can't have too many people loving you, right? Why couldn't he be both of ours?" Chris added.

Every year, the Schoebingers sent Austin pictures and bound journals showing Steven's journey in deep detail. They even had lists of all the new words he learned each year. The books were titled “The Life and Times of ‘Riley,’” paying homage to Steven’s original name.

adoption, parenting, open adoption, closed adoption, moms, fathers, kids, family, modern families, adoptees The Schoebingers sent Steven's mother photos ever year until the two were ready to meet. Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

The hope was that one day when the biological mother and son were ready, they could pick up where they left off. That moment came when Steven was seven years old and his biological mother taught him to fish.The unique arrangement has been fantastic for both Austin and her biological son. "I was blessed beyond words," Austin said. "I kind of got the best of both worlds, for sure," Steven agreed. It may seem like relationships between children and those who gave them up for adoption would be complicated, but studies show that 84% of adoptees reported high levels of satisfaction when maintaining ongoing contact with their birth parents. It's considered the standard these days unless there are specific reasons why its in the best interest of the child to have the adoption be closed.

Steven is now 27 and in August 2022, he and his wife, Kayla, had their first child, a boy they named — wait for it — Riley. Austin, herself, is now a grandmother.

The remarkable story of Austin and the Schoebinger family proves that when we put walls between ourselves and others, we are often blocking everyone off from more love and support.


People on social media were incredibly moved by the story. Dozens of commenters chimed in on YouTube to express their gratitude for the families involved:

"Steven's adoptive parents are WONDERFUL! They weren't selfish, and did what was best for STEVEN, His dad said it best-----the more love a child has, the better. His bio mom lucked out with this special couple as well, especially when they sent her the books each year! This story was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!" one user wrote.

"Speaks volumes of his adoptive parents and also the love of his natural mother to make the hardest decision on earth," another said.

"Thank you for including the birth mom in the raising of your son. I’m adopted and it was a closed one. the struggle of not knowing your birth parents is real. I just spent my first Christmas in 56 years with my Ukrainian birth family. Full circle family is love. Oh what a ride!" someone added.

Ultimately, Chris Schoebinger, the adoptive dad, said it best:

"I think the lesson we learned is that sometimes we create barriers where barriers don't need to be. And when we pull down those barriers, we really find love on the other side," Chris said.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Bride planned an autism-friendly wedding so her daughter could fully participate in the moment

"Weddings aren't about perfection–they're about love. And for us, love meant creating a day that felt good for Sofia, too."

@jodiebevan08/TikTok (with permission)

Bride has an autism-friendly wedding so her daughter with special needs can be a part of her big day.

Weddings are beautiful, sentimental days–but wedding days can also being *extremely* chaotic. So when bride Jodie Bevan (@jodiebevan08) began planning her wedding to groom Matthew, every detail revolved around making it an autism-friendly day for her teenage daughter Sofia.

In a series of TikTok video, bride Jodie documented exactly how she made Sofia comfortable on her wedding day. From her outfit choice to glam, every detail centered on Sofia's needs.

"We planned our wedding day around Sofia's needs as a teen with autism and special needs. From her dress material to a calm hairstyle, to a sensory toy bag. How Sofia would be on our day was my biggest worry but she was honestly incredible and I couldn't be more proud of her 🤍," she captioned the post.

@jodiebevan08

We planned our wedding day around Sofia's needs as a teen with autism and special needs. From her dress material to a calm hairstyle, to a sensory toy bag. How Sofia would be on our day was my biggest worry but she was honestly incredible and I could be more proud of her 🤍 Thankyou again @BTS | Luxury Wedding Content for capturing all these beautiful videos 🤍. #AutismAcceptance #InclusiveWedding #SofiaStrong #SensoryFriendly #SpecialNeedsParent #NeurodivergentLove #WeddingWithHeart #weddingday #weddingdress #weddingflowers #autismawareness #senmum #senmumlife #fyp

"Planning our wedding with Sofia's needs first. We made all of our vendors aware of Sofia's needs beforehand, including the photographer. We got Sofia's photos done first so she could relax," she shared in the video.

Next, she noted the detail paid to Sofia's clothing as the video showed her helping Sofia get changed for the wedding ceremony. "This was the first time she's worn a dress in over 10+ years! We made sure it wasn't an itchy material, not too fussy or long," she added. "She had her comfort clothes to change into after photos were done. These are the shoes she wears every single day but in a white version." (Sofia also held a teddy bear that was dressed in a suit.)

@jodiebevan08

Reading the comments in my last video has made me realise how much more awareness we need for special needs children. I know I am doing a good job at being Sofias advocate. I am her safe place, so what ever I am doing, I’m doing it right 🤍 #sen #autismawareness #autismacceptance #senparentsoftiktok #senmum #specialneeds #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #weddingtok #weddingday

After explaining Sofia's clothing, Jodie went on to give details on hair and makeup. "Hair is a BIG sensory trigger for Sofia, so we went for something very simple, no fuss and went at her pace," she shared. "The amazing hairdresser even managed to curl it! We asked for minimal makeup, just skincare and brows. This wasn't needed but she enjoyed this and I wanted her to feel included."

Finally, Jodie shared how she made Sofia feel comfortable during the wedding reception with sensory toys. "I packed a bag of all things she likes. Toys, pens, paper, iPad, etc and placed this on her eat at the wedding breakfast," she wrote.

@jodiebevan08

Having special needs we’ve always known Sofia will never get married or walk down the isle in a white dress - I cant tell you how much this moment means to me🤍 The moment she spots Matthew too "my matthew"🥹I couldn’t be more proud of her, not only walking into a room full of people she doesn’t know but even wearing a dress when she lives in leggins and jumpers daily! Thank you for capturing this @BTS | Luxury Wedding Content I will forever be grateful 🤍 #senmum #weddingdress #weddingvibes #specialneeds #autismawareness #weddingday #weddingtok #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp

Jodie ended the post with a sweet note about what it meant to include Sofia on her special day. "Weddings aren't about perfection–they're about love. And for us, love meant creating a day that felt good for Sofia, too."

And viewers absolutely loved every heartfelt detail Jodie paid attention to for Sofia's comfort. "I’m sorry but the teddy bear in the suit 😭😭😭💖💖💖💖," one commented, and Jodie replied, "He was her plus one 😂😂🤍." Another viewer added, "You say weddings aren't about perfection but I think this is the most perfect expression of love for your family ❤️." And another viewer shared, "My sister has autism and she was my bridesmaid, she’s 13 and it was first time she wore a dress in many years and to say she smashed it was a understatement 💗," and Jodie responded, "That’s amazing! I felt so proud of Sofia even wearing the dress as I knew how big even that was for her 🤍." And another viewer commented, "my goodness this made me so emotional. how amazing ❤️."

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