When a woman tweeted she was raped, this site had the perfect response.

This website's swift reaction is a shining example of how to respond to rape allegations.

 Wagatwe Wanjuki
12.02.15

At the beginning of every video by James Deen Productions, there's a positive message about consent that you may not expect to see in an adult film:

"We recommend honest, clear, and ongoing communication with your partner(s) to ensure that all sex is consensual. All actors in this film have consented to participate in the acts you see. Have fun, respect each other, and practice safer sex."

Sounds great, right? James Deen, the founder of his namesake production company, is often celebrated as a strong public advocate for consent. Which is part of why TheFrisky.com, a women's lifestyle website, started running a sex advice column titled "What Would James Deen Do?"

Deen at the 70th Venice Film Festival. Photo by GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images

But seeing Deen celebrated as an advocate for consent has been difficult for writer and adult film actress, Stoya. And here's why:

In November 2015, Stoya tweeted that Deen, who is also her ex-boyfriend, had sexually assaulted her.


When Amelia McDonell-Parry, the editor-in-chief of popular women's site TheFrisky.com, learned of the allegations, she took swift action.

She knew she didn't want to be a mouthpiece for Deen.



McDonell-Parry didn't stop there.

She quickly wrote and published a piece explaining her decision to shut down his sex advice column and remove ads to his site.

"From a professional standpoint, as the editor of a women's blog which has published the accused's words, acting swiftly and decisively is the least that I can do. The court of public opinion is not a court of law, and I don't need Stoya or any woman to 'prove' that she has been raped for me to believe her. Women who come out as rape victims are far, far, far too often not believed. This is especially true of women who work in the sex industry, with people actually wondering aloud if porn stars can be raped. Victims are put on trial themselves, with everything they've ever said/done/worn suddenly under scrutiny as possible 'evidence' that they are lying or that they asked for it."

GIF via "Bob's Burgers."

Amen. This is so refreshing, so rare, and so important.

As an anti-rape activist, I can't tell you the number of times I've heard stories from survivors about how they reported their assaults to trusted institutions, like their employers or schools ... only to have nothing done.

In many cases, survivors faced retaliation from their community while their assailants' reputations remained unscathed. Which, of course, adds an extra layer of trauma for the survivor.

I have never seen a company make such a swift and strong response after someone came forward with allegations of assault. And it's awesome.

I assume this is where The Frisky's headquarters are located? Photo by Selena N.B.H./Flickr.

By shutting down his column, The Frisky is prioritizing support for survivors over revenue.

Deen is a well-known name in the adult film industry and his fame extends beyond consumers of pornography. The Frisky had a pretty sweet deal set up: They didn't pay him for the column; all they did was link to his personal site and see the traffic from his name roll in. But on this issue, The Frisky put their money where their mouth is.

As expected, some people have chimed in to say this seems like a drastic move to make in response to a few tweets.

One commenter on The Frisky replied to McDonell-Parry's post saying, "This is a profoundly stupid argument. There is no way of knowing if Deen is guilty or innocent. Bring it to court, if there is evidence against him, then punish him. If there is not any evidence, then the author of this so called article has some apologizing to do."

Sorry you had to see that, Captain. GIF via "Star Trek: The Next Generation."

But here's why that kind of response seriously misses the boat:

1. False rape allegations are extremely rare.

Time and time again research has found that about 2-8% of rape allegations are unfounded — the same amount as any other crime. And the numbers are probably much lower, because "unfounded" does not mean untrue. To put the numbers in perspective: fraudulent reports about stolen cars are more common, coming in at an estimated 10%.

2. Survivors are rarely believed.

A 2002 study found that almost 50% of male student athletes surveyed believed that about half of women reporting rape are lying. There's this notion that women make up rape allegations as a form of revenge, which makes about zero sense.


Yeah, rape myths have never made sense to me either. GIF via "O Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Consider this: outing yourself as a survivor opens you up to so much scrutiny, abuse, and criticism about the assault (and every action before or after). And considering that the vast majority of rapists — estimates from RAINN put it anywhere from 94% and 98% — never spend a day in jail, there's very little to gain from fabricating such serious allegations. The truth is that very few women lie about being raped, but almost all rapists lie about raping.

3. When one survivor comes forward, many others often come forward.

Most rapes are committed by a very small number of people. Repeat rapists have an average of 5.8 victims. Remember Bill Cosby? Many were afraid to come forward, but eventually 35 women showed themselves on the cover of New York Magazine. In this case, the domino effect has already begun: three more women have already come forward about being assaulted by Deen.

When people and institutions take a public stand in support of survivors, they are committing a meaningful act against rape culture.


Photo by Chase Carter/Flickr.

One study showed that college men were less likely to commit rape if they knew that there would be consequences like punishment or social isolation for their actions.

Taking a public stand against rapists is actually an effective rape prevention tool. Who knew? Move over, rape whistles. Time to make space for the whistle-blowers.

To truly make the world a safer place — and to end rape culture — there is one simple thing we can all do: Believe survivors.

rape rape culture rape myth james deen the frisky stoya
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Florida city forecloses on man's home after fining him $30,000 for not mowing his lawn.

Youtube

Should a man lose his home because the grass in his yard grew higher than 10 inches? The city of Dunedin, Florida seems to think so.

According to the Institute of Justice, which is representing Jim Ficken, he had a very good reason for not mowing his lawn – and tried to rectify the situation as best he could.

In 2014, Jim's mom became ill and he visited her often in South Carolina to help her out. When he was away, his grass grew too long and he was cited by a code office; he cut the grass and wasn't fined.

France has started forcing supermarkets to donate food instead of throwing it away.

But several years later, this one infraction would come back to haunt him after he left to take care of him's mom's affairs after she died. The arrangements he made to have his grass cut fell through (his friend who he asked to help him out passed away unexpectedly) and that set off a chain reaction that may result in him losing his home.

The 69-year-old retiree now faces a $29,833.50 fine plus interest. Watch the video to find out just what Jim is having to deal with.

Mow Your Lawn or Lose Your House! www.youtube.com

florida dunedin lawn mowing jim ficken
Cities

Michelle Obama named 'most admired woman in the world,' because of course she is.

The world can't get enough Michelle.

Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube

The world officially loves Michelle Obama.

The former first lady has overtaken the number one spot in a poll of the world's most admired women. Conducted by online research firm YouGov, the study uses international polling tools to survey people in countries around the world about who they most admire.

In the men's category, Bill Gates took the top spot, followed by Barack Obama and Jackie Chan.

In the women's category, Michelle Obama came first, followed by Oprah Winfrey and Angelina Jolie. Obama pushed Jolie out of the number one spot she claimed last year.

Unsurprising, really, because what's not to love about Michelle Obama? She is smart, kind, funny, accomplished, a great dancer, a devoted wife and mother, and an all-around, genuinely good person.

She has remained dignified and strong in the face of rabid masses of so-called Americans who spent eight years and beyond insisting that she's a man disguised as a woman. She's endured non-stop racist memes and terrifying threats to her family. She has received far more than her fair share of cruelty, and always takes the high road. She's the one who coined, "When they go low, we go high," after all.

She came from humble beginnings and remains down to earth despite becoming a familiar face around the world. She's not much older than me, but I still want to be like Michelle Obama when I grow up.

Her memoir, Becoming, may end up being the best-selling memoir of all time, having already sold 10 million copies—a clear sign that people can't get enough Michelle, because there's no such thing as too much Michelle.

Don't like Michelle Obama? Don't care. Those of us who love her will fly our MO flags high and without apology, paying no mind to folks with cold, dead hearts who don't know a gem of a human being when they see one. There is nothing any hater can say or do to make us admire this undeniably admirable woman any less.

When it seems like the world has lost its mind—which is how it feels most days these days—I'm just going to keep coming back to this study as evidence that hope for humanity is not lost.

Here. Enjoy some real-life Michelle on Jimmy Kimmel. (GAH. WHY IS SHE SO CUTE AND AWESOME. I can't even handle it.)

Michelle & Barack Obama are Boring Now www.youtube.com

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France has started forcing supermarkets to donate food instead of throwing it away.

via EarthFix / Flickr

What will future generations never believe that we tolerated in 2019?

Dolphin and orca captivity, for sure. They'll probably shake their heads at how people died because they couldn't afford healthcare. And, they'll be completely mystified at the amount of food some people waste while others go starving.

According to Biological Diversity, "An estimated 40 percent of the food produced in the United States is wasted every year, costing households, businesses and farms about $218 billion annually."

There are so many things wrong with this.

First of all it's a waste of money for the households who throw out good food. Second, it's a waste of all of the resources that went into growing the food, including the animals who gave their lives for the meal. Third, there's something very wrong with throwing out food when one in eight Americans struggle with hunger.

Supermarkets are just as guilty of this unnecessary waste as consumers. About 10% of all food waste are supermarket products thrown out before they've reached their expiration date.

Three years ago, France took big steps to combat food waste by making a law that bans grocery stores from throwing away edible food.According to the new ordinance, stores can be fined for up to $4,500 for each infraction.

Previously, the French threw out 7.1 million tons of food. Sixty-seven percent of which was tossed by consumers, 15% by restaurants, and 11% by grocery stores.

This has created a network of over 5,000 charities that accept the food from supermarkets and donate them to charity. The law also struck down agreements between supermarkets and manufacturers that prohibited the stores from donating food to charities.

"There was one food manufacturer that was not authorized to donate the sandwiches it made for a particular supermarket brand. But now, we get 30,000 sandwiches a month from them — sandwiches that used to be thrown away," Jacques Bailet, head of the French network of food banks known as Banques Alimentaires, told NPR.

It's expected that similar laws may spread through Europe, but people are a lot less confident at it happening in the United States. The USDA believes that the biggest barrier to such a program would be cost to the charities and or supermarkets.

"The logistics of getting safe, wholesome, edible food from anywhere to people that can use it is really difficult," the organization said according to Gizmodo. "If you're having to set up a really expensive system to recover marginal amounts of food, that's not good for anybody."

Plus, the idea may seem a little too "socialist" for the average American's appetite.

"The French version is quite socialist, but I would say in a great way because you're providing a way where they [supermarkets] have to do the beneficial things not only for the environment, but from an ethical standpoint of getting healthy food to those who need it and minimizing some of the harmful greenhouse gas emissions that come when food ends up in a landfill," Jonathan Bloom, the author of American Wasteland, told NPR.

However, just because something may be socialist doesn't mean it's wrong. The greater wrong is the insane waste of money, damage to the environment, and devastation caused by hunger that can easily be avoided.

Planet

Single dad asks his daughters for fashion advice before a date and strangers on social media responded with some helpful suggestions.

The world is dark and full of terrors, but every once in a while it graces us with something to warm our icy-cold hearts. And that is what we have today, with a single dad who went viral on Twitter after his daughter posted the photos he sent her when trying to pick out and outfit for his date. You love to see it.




After seeing these heartwarming pics, people on Twitter started suggesting this adorable man date their moms. It was essentially a mom and date matchmaking frenzy.

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