+
upworthy
More

'What's not to love?' This 'Orange Is the New Black' star is what self-acceptance looks like.

Before "Orange Is the New Black" or her stand-up comedy career, DeLaria struggled like so many others.

Sometimes, coming to terms with yourself can be a lifelong process.

That's the message Lea DeLaria puts out in a recent video she did for StyleLikeU.

You probably best know DeLaria as "Big Boo," Litchfield Penitentiary's resident confident butch lesbian on the Netflix series "Orange Is the New Black." And while her on-screen persona aligns in a number of ways with her own life, it wasn't always that way.


GIF from "Orange Is the New Black."

The video begins with DeLaria explaining what it is she strives for in life: self-acceptance.

Fans of stand-up comedy might remember DeLaria as the first openly gay comedian to appear on a late-night talk show — a feat accomplished in 1993 on "The Arsenio Hall Show."

"It's hip to be queer, and I'm a bi-i-i-i-ig dyke!" she famously announced to her TV audience.

"I hated myself for not being 'normal.' At that time, [being gay] was still considered a mental disease."

Still, behind that bravado was someone desperate to debunk myths about what it's like being a butch lesbian.

All remaining GIFs via StyleLikeU.

Like many, DeLaria struggled coming to terms with her own identity and coming out to others.

She touches on her path to stand-up comedy, which followed a stint as a carpenter.

"Stand-up comedy in those days was a big activist tool, so that's what I started doing," she says. "I'm very grateful for that because I probably would have, you know, put a gun in my mouth if I didn't have that. ... I think, personally, my coming out experience was very, very difficult ... because I thought I was the only one."

Afraid of rejection, she didn't come out to her parents until she was 28. To her surprise, they accepted her.

When she eventually came out to her parents, her father had no idea. "Let me just say to that, 'Look at me,'" she jokes. Her parents' acceptance was made a bit easier by her career success (she guest starred on an episode of "Matlock" around that time).

"I hated myself for not being 'normal.' At that time, [being gay] was still considered a mental disease."

Introspection didn't end with her sexuality. There was another issue to tackle: accepting her weight.

Working in the entertainment industry, she was hit with a lot of the sexist double standards around appearance and weight.

"Men can weigh any f*cking weight they want. They can be any weight they want. No one gives a sh*t about it."

But when it comes to women? Women are constantly sexualized and told their value hinges on how attractive men find them. But DeLaria isn't having it. "There's nothing wrong with [being fat]. It's that simple."

According to her own words, she's not beautiful. She prefers "handsome" — thank you very much.

Earlier this year, she got engaged to her longtime girlfriend, fashion editor Chelsea Fairless.

DeLaria bristles at the question, "When do you feel the most beautiful?" replying, "I never think of myself as 'beautiful,' so that's a very strange word to apply to me, I think."

"I'm more of a handsome person. When my fiancée looks at me with this look in her eye, and I can see that she's completely and utterly in love with me, she makes me feel really handsome. Even when she's mad, I can still see it in her eyes."

You can watch the complete interview below.

Just an FYI, it contains some explicit and NSFW language.

Democracy

This Map Reveals The True Value Of $100 In Each State

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

Image by Tax Foundation.

Map represents the value of 100 dollars.

As the cost of living in large cities continues to rise, more and more people are realizing that the value of a dollar in the United States is a very relative concept. For decades, cost of living indices have sought to address and benchmark the inconsistencies in what money will buy, but they are often so specific as to prevent a holistic picture or the ability to "browse" the data based on geographic location.

The Tax Foundation addressed many of these shortcomings using the most recent (2015) Bureau of Economic Analysis data to provide a familiar map of the United States overlaid with the relative value of what $100 is "worth" in each state. Granted, going state-by-state still introduces a fair amount of "smoothing" into the process — $100 will go farther in Los Angeles than in Fresno, for instance — but it does provide insight into where the value lies.

Keep ReadingShow less
Health

People admit the one thing that Boomers really got right and some folks are uncomfortable

"You have to force yourself to do things that are difficult and uncomfortable."

A Baby Boomer has some thoughts on emotional resilience.

An overarching Baby Boomer stereotype is that they have a problem with the younger generations, especially Millennials because they were coddled growing up and lack the determination to do hard things.

Many believe that when helicopter parents shelter kids from discomfort, they never develop the emotional resilience that it takes to succeed on their own.

Some may even attribute this to the increase in mental illness.

Keep ReadingShow less

A young woman drinking bottled water outdoors before exercising.



The Story of Bottled Waterwww.youtube.com

Here are six facts from the video above by The Story of Stuff Project that I'll definitely remember next time I'm tempted to buy bottled water.

1. Bottled water is more expensive than tap water (and not just a little).

via The Story of Stuff Project/YouTube


A Business Insider column noted that two-thirds of the bottled water sold in the United States is in individual 16.9-ounce bottles, which comes out to roughly $7.50 per gallon. That's about 2,000 times higher than the cost of a gallon of tap water.

And in an article in 20 Something Finance, G.E. Miller investigated the cost of bottled versus tap water for himself. He found that he could fill 4,787 20-ounce bottles with tap water for only $2.10! So if he paid $1 for a bottled water, he'd be paying 2,279 times the cost of tap.

2. Bottled water could potentially be of lower quality than tap water.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Millennial mom charges her 3 young children rent, sparking debate among parents

Her goal is teach her children how to budget and pay bills “in a safe environment.”

Representative Image From Canva

It's important to teach kids about financial responsibiltiy. But is this too far?

Back in May of 2023, a Texas couple sparked a huge parental debate after saying that they charged their 19-year-old daughter rent after she graduated high school. While some thought it taught responsibility, others felt like they were merely adding another arbitrary obstacle for their child.

Now, if this was the response to a 19-year-old getting charged rent, imagine how folks might feel to hear about it happening to kids under 13.

In a viral TikTok, mom and personal finance influencer Samantha Bird shared that she charged her three elementary school-aged children rent and utilities each month. This method might seem unconventional, but Bird argues that it’s simply a way to learn about money “in a safe environment.”

Keep ReadingShow less

When people move in and refuse to move out, what do you do?

Squatters' rights laws are some of the most bizarrely misused legal realities we have, and something no one seems to have a good answer for. Most of us have heard stories of someone moving into a vacant home and just living there, without anyone's permission and without paying rent, and somehow this is a legal question mark until the courts sort it out.

According to The National Desk, squatters' rights are a carryover from British property law and were created to ensure that abandoned property could be used and to protect occupants from being kicked out without proper notice. It should go without saying that squatter law isn't meant to allow someone to just take over someone else's property, but sometimes that's exactly what happens.

It's what happend to Flash Shelton's mother when she put her house up for rent after her husband passed away. A woman contacted her with interest in the property, only she wanted to do repairs and look after the home instead of paying rent. Before anyone knew it, she had furniture delivered (which she later said was accidental) and set up camp, despite Shelton's mom not agreeing to the arrangement.

Keep ReadingShow less
via Dorilee and Sean Lavin (used with permission)

Sean and Dorilee Lavin feel complete.

Dorilee Lavin, 39, was a divorced mother of 3 living in Vermont. When she was ready to find her next relationship, she made a list of characteristics she wanted in her next husband. “I manifested him hard,” Dorilee, 39, told Today.com.

Three days later, she saw a tall, dark-haired man named Sean walking his 2 daughters to school and hoped he was single. “It was the sweetest thing ever, like an image you’d see in a magazine,” she recalled. "They had such a happy energy."

After some research, she discovered that he was single, too. Unfortunately, their paths didn’t cross and the school year was nearing its end. "I never got the chance to connect with him, but the [after-school care] was tired of hearing me talk about him to them," she confessed in a TikTok video with over 1.7 million views.

Keep ReadingShow less