Mary Lentz in her viral TikTok video
After more than 10 years in Los Angeles, I've learned that the city's dating scene and my life goals are fundamentally misaligned. While I dream of becoming a wife and mother, I've encountered countless men in their late 30’s who aren't ready to settle down.
Most of my meaningful connections have been with men outside of LA. I'm picky, I have high standards, I know I'm a catch, and I refuse to settle just because the dating pool feels shallow.
My pool is also naturally smaller than most: I’m 6’ tall and looking for a man who shares the same faith that I do. I also need a half-glass full kind of guy who is assertive and communicates well. The past few years have been discouraging. I've met promising men only to hit the same dealbreaker repeatedly: they're not open to distance.
Meanwhile, I'm willing to relocate because I don't want to raise a family in LA. Whether that's another city entirely or somewhere like Ventura County, I'm flexible about geography in a way that many LA men aren't. I also don’t understand that if a man is ready to settle down, and I’m willing to move, why not invest in a season of plane tickets and FaceTimes if the reward is potentially finding your future Mrs?
TikTok · maryinthemiddle www.tiktok.com
2864 likes, 1038 comments. “get me off the market!! dating in 2025 is a joke and so maybe tiktok will be more helpful than the 5 dating apps I’m on. way too much money has been invested in the apps just to use their filters that have only yielded ghosting or dates where the man didn’t plan. i’m in Los Angeles but open to relocating (please note: I DO have a hard time in humidity and would consider myself a city girl, however I can do suburbs as long as it’s driving distance to a city). Much love, let’s do this ❤️”
The inspiration for my TikTok video came from seeing a 30-something woman on IG essentially marketing herself to single men. I thought it was brave, and it got me thinking: what do I have to lose? So on a whim, I posted my own version. The response has been random and interesting.
I've received an overwhelming amount of DMs, but most are from men with no videos, no photos, and usernames like "Lakers_Riley47" which feels like catfish territory.
I've had gems of ladies reach out suggesting I DM their brothers or friends, buuut here's the thing: if they think we'd be a good match, they can share my post with said prince charming and let him reach out to me.
Someone commented that my video "seems desperate." I responded "I am," because, duh, I am desperate, clearly. I’m content and enjoying my life, but I believe in the verse "knock and the door will open for you." Knocking requires action, and in 2025, knocking means posting a TikTok marketing yourself. I don’t think dating apps go in your favor, the apps I’m on have felt endless and fruitless, and waiting around for chance encounters wasn't getting me closer to my goals. So I decided to take control and put myself out there in a way that felt authentic to who I am and what I want.