Being rich, famous, and at the top of your field is awesome. But it doesn’t absolve anyone from self-doubt and anxiety.
Just ask Samantha Ponder. At 31, she’s been a successful sideline reporter and "College GameDay" host, and she's a mom to two beautiful kids. Most recently in 2017, she became the first female host of ESPN’s "Sunday NFL Countdown," shattering the concept that women can’t talk sports from the desk.
<p style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A post shared by Sam Ponder (@samanthaponder) on <time datetime="2017-08-01T01:42:55+00:00" style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;">Jul 31, 2017 at 6:42pm PDT</time></p></div></blockquote></div></div></div><p>Despite a decade of hard-earned experience under her belt, she still felt insecure at times. “Every job I’ve had I’ve wondered, 'holy crap, I don’t know if I’m good enough,'” she says. </p><p>Like many of us, she struggled to define her self-worth at work. She often passed salary and contract negotiations off to an agent. Early in her career, Ponder found it difficult to manage criticism and negativity from social media trolls.</p><p>"I used to call my dad to ask what I was doing wrong," she recalls. "He usually responded with 'consider the source.'" </p><p>But even with a great support network, it's difficult not to let that type of criticism affect your self-image. It wasn't until she gave birth to her daughter that Ponder gained new perspective. </p><div><div data-card="instagram" data-reactroot=""><div><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="7" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:8px;"> <div style=" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:62.4537037037037% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;"> </div> <p style=" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BRzX-8UhhhT/" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;" target="_blank">My favorite time of day. "Mama les snuggle an watch basitball." ❤🏀</a></p> <p style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A post shared by Sam Ponder (@samanthaponder) on <time datetime="2017-03-19T02:20:47+00:00" style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;">Mar 18, 2017 at 7:20pm PDT</time></p></div></blockquote></div></div></div><h2>Ponder started thinking about what she would advise her daughter to do. Then she started to act on it herself. </h2><p>Instead of handing difficult conversations off to her agent, she took her seat at the table. </p><p>"Talking about money makes me so uncomfortable, but this time around, I was much more involved," she says, referring to the contract negotiations for her new job at ESPN. She fought the doubting voice inside her saying, “What if they don’t want me? What if they say you should just be glad we gave you a job.” And replaced it with "What would I tell my daughter to do?"</p><p>It's this philosophy that's carried Ponder to the top of her field and in proving her worth — to herself and others. In reflecting on her career so far, Ponder highlights three key truths that continue to motivate her. </p><h2>1. Don’t bluff.</h2><p>Women frequently <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/13/business/dealbook/overcoming-the-confidence-gap-for-women.html" target="_blank">undervalue themselves</a> in the workplace, which can lead to lower pay and ultimately less upward mobility into executive roles. Ponder says success in negotiating requires balance: be confident <em>and</em> honest in estimating your worth. Having specific examples and honest reasons to back it up not only strengthens your case but also allows you to be OK (truly OK) with walking away if your employer decides not to negotiate.</p><h2>2. Maintain an identity separate from your job.</h2><p>It’s easy to let the power dynamics of a job negotiation cloud your vision of yourself. "If you need the offer to feel happy, then they control you," she says. </p><p>If the job means everything to you, you no longer have negotiating power. No job is more important that your happiness. Whether it's family, friends, faith, a hobby, or a side hustle, it's important to find ways to maintain your happiness outside of work.</p><div><div data-card="instagram" data-reactroot=""><div><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="7" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:8px;"> <div style=" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:62.4537037037037% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;"> </div> <p style=" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BRUl13dhAkg/" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;" target="_blank">Never a dull moment with this chick. Today she told me she needed a purse because she had a business meeting 😏</a></p> <p style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A post shared by Sam Ponder (@samanthaponder) on <time datetime="2017-03-07T03:25:25+00:00" style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;">Mar 6, 2017 at 7:25pm PST</time></p></div></blockquote></div></div></div><h2>3. Know your boundaries.</h2><p>"At the end of the day, everybody’s got to feed their family," Ponder says. Know your boundaries and what walking away means for you, she advises.</p><p>It’s all part of an effort to change her own learned behaviors now so that when her daughter’s generation confronts the same issues, it’s less uncomfortable. Whether it’s salary negotiations, setting an example for your child, or simply finding peace in a new position, Ponder reiterates the importance of cutting yourself some slack. </p><h2>“I think can we all just admit that we’re insecure. All of us,” she said.</h2><p>Knowing this, and owning it, allows you to take the pressure off and get down to real business.</p><p>For more from our I’ll Just Say it series, read on <a href="http://www.upworthy.com/this-couple-is-very-much-in-love-thats-why-they-sleep-separately?c=apstream">here</a>.</p>Keep Reading Show less
Protect Your Privacy
No, your phone isn’t ‘listening’ to you — but it’s probably tracking you
08.03.20
Mozilla
True
Firefox
When I found out I was pregnant in October 2018, I had planned to keep the news a secret from family for a little while — but my phone seemed to have other ideas.
Within just a few hours of finding out the news, I was being bombarded with ads for baby gear, baby clothes and diapers on Facebook, Instagram and pretty much any other site I visited — be it my phone or on my computer.
Good thing my family wasn't looking over my shoulder while I was on my phone or my secret would have been ruined.
I'm certainly not alone in feeling like online ads can read your mind.
When I started asking around, it seemed like everyone had their own similar story: Brian Kelleher told me that when he and his wife met, they started getting ads for wedding rings and bridal shops within just a few weeks. Tech blogger Snezhina Piskov told me that she started getting ads for pocket projectors after discussing them in Messenger with her colleagues. Meanwhile Lauren Foley, a writer, told me she started getting ads for Happy Socks after seeing one of their shops when she got off the bus one day.
When online advertising seems to know us this well, it begs the question: are our phones listening to us?
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<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Mozilla</small></p><p>"There is a common myth that companies like Facebook are using the microphone on your device to passively listen to all your conversations," says Marshall Erwin, Senior Director of Trust and Security at Mozilla and cybersecurity expert who worked for Congress during the Snowden disclosures in 2013. "This isn't the case."<br></p><p>However, your phone — just like your computer — is collecting your personal data.</p><p>It's collecting this data with <a href="https://blog.mozilla.org/firefox/what-is-a-web-tracker/" target="_blank">cookies and other web trackers</a> embedded in the sites you visit, with the data you provide freely when you create social media profiles, use apps or buy things online, with your location data, and with your device ID. </p><p>"Your phone is the most complete surveillance device invented by mankind," says <a href="https://www.hks.harvard.edu/faculty/bruce-schneier" target="_blank">Bruce Schneier</a>, adjunct lecturer in public policy at the Harvard Kennedy School and renowned security technologist. "It knows where you live, it knows where you work, it knows when you wake up and when you go to sleep. It knows who you sleep with. It knows you better than your spouse."</p><p>"Surveillance is the business model of the internet," he adds.</p><p>For example, Schneier tells me, "the fact that we are talking is recorded somewhere and we actually don't know which of our cell phone companies is selling that data. We don't know which apps on our phone are grabbing that data and using it."</p><p>Pretty much everything we do on our computers or our phones — which, remember, are mini-computers we carry around all day — produces personal data. </p><p>Our data is often then bought, sold, and correlated against other data to create a profile of who we are. That profile is in turn targeted in a variety of ways.</p><p>For example, internet advertisers, Erwin explains, can use it "to anticipate and target ads related to what you are thinking and talking about, without actually having to listen to your conversations."</p><p>For example, a shoe manufacturer could use your data to target you simply because you're in your 30s and you seem interested in sports. But they might also target you because you googled running trails or you recently visited a running hobbyist website. Meanwhile, a politician might use it to target you because you are white and live in a battle-ground state.</p><p>It's easy to use (or misuse) your data.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
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<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Mozilla</small></p><p>"Data is what powers a lot of misinformation because it is easier to influence people with malicious messages if those messages are highly targeted towards susceptible groups or populations," explains Erwin.<br></p><p>He continues, "Our data can be misused in discriminatory advertising, where job or housing ads are targeted to only certain racial groups, in violation of people's basic rights."</p><p>Personal data can also be targeted by malicious actors, especially when the apps on our phone aren't secure. For example, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/08/technology/tiktok-security-flaws.html" target="_blank">the app TikTok had vulnerabilities</a> that allowed hackers to manipulate and retrieve user personal information. </p><h2>So what can you do to protect yourself?</h2><p>Well, the bad news is that there's no way to fully protect your data.</p><p>"Your data isn't under your control," says Schneier, "Your email is held by Google, your photos are held by someone else, your files are on some company's hard drive and your financial purchases are held by credit card companies. Your data is not yours anymore."</p><p>"That's the baseline," he continues. "There's largely nothing you can do about it."</p><p>But you can take steps to limit the collection of your data.</p><h3>1. Turn on your privacy controls.</h3><p>"A lot of tech companies provide ways for people to enhance their privacy and to decrease the amount of data collected about them," explains Erwin. "These privacy settings are often off by default, however, and need users to turn them on."</p><h3>2. Use a browser that turns those privacy protections by default.</h3><p>Mozilla protects users' data by turning on privacy features by <a href="https://blog.mozilla.org/blog/2019/06/04/when-it-comes-to-privacy-default-settings-matter/" target="_blank">default in the Firefox browser</a>.</p><p>"For example, our Enhanced Tracking Protection feature prevents third parties from tracking you and building a profile of your activity from the websites you visit," says Erwin. "And our DNS over HTTPS (DoH) feature protects that same data from people spying in the middle of the network, encrypting DNS traffic and ensuring it is only disclosed to parties with strong privacy practices."</p><h3>3. Use private browsing.</h3><p>Private browsing — or incognito mode — allow you to browse the web without saving your browsing history. How? They automatically clear cookies and your cache, making it a little harder to track you and target you with ads. </p><p>If you use Firefox, you can also use enhanced tracking protection, which blocks a number of trackers before they're even placed on your device in the first place. </p><h3>4. Avoid public WiFi.</h3><p>Public wifi networks are less secure and it's easier for your data to be hacked.</p><h3>5. Use a VPN.</h3><p>The Mozilla VPN is available on Windows and Android devices and it will help keep you safe online by protecting your data, IP address and location. It also encrypts your activity and communications. </p><h3>6. Adjust your phone settings</h3><p>Watch this video for tips on how to do that:</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-youtube">
<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="cc04d300d0a52d104d9e7ec0b48aefa0"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7NzHRiOZ3EQ?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span>
<small class="image-media media-caption" placeholder="Add Photo Caption...">Data Detox: Smartphones | Firefox</small>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NzHRiOZ3EQ" target="_blank">www.youtube.com</a>
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