Train station custodian's act of kindness makes father traveling solo feel seen
Taking your young daughter to a public bathroom as a dad can be tricky.
Dad thanks train station attendee for validating act of kindness
Any time you travel with a small child it ups the ante a bit. Did you bring enough stuff to entertain them? Did you pack the right snacks? Should you have brought an extra change of clothes just in case? Is it now customary to hand out small bags full of ear plugs and treats for all of the passengers for daring to leave your house to use a public form of transportation?
It's enough to stress you out before you even get down the street. But one of the trickiest parts of traveling with small children of the opposite gender is figuring out public bathrooms. It's usually fairly simple for moms, bathrooms for women have changing tables installed for babies and disabled individuals. They're also usually kept fairly clean and women visiting the facilities think twice about a little boy going into the women's bathroom with his mom.
Dads on the other hand aren't always comfortable bringing their daughters into the men's room with them. Plus rumor has it that men's rooms aren't always the cleanest for girls to go potty.
Kier Gaines has gone viral for praising a Philadelphia Amtrak employee for understanding this struggle resulting in a meaningful act of kindness. Gaines was traveling with his young daughter who looks to be around 5-years-old when she needed to use the bathroom. She's too young to go into the women's bathroom alone and Gaines wasn't comfortable taking her into the bathroom possibly startling women.
He was left with the only choice being to take her into the men's bathroom which had not been left sanitary. That's when the Amtrak Porter steps in.
"One of the porters that cleans here saw me and he was like, 'hey bro, you want me to hit the bathroom and clean it for you?' I said, 'yeah, thank you, man.'" Gaines reflects. "He said, 'yeah I got a daughter who's five.' he says, 'I understand how hard it is to be a dad and try to get them in a clean bathroom where they feel comfortable and safe.'"
Gaines admitted that a fellow dad recognizing the struggle and doing something to help got him a little choked up.
"It validated so many things that I felt frustrated with because they were hard but don't nobody want to hear a man complaining about what's difficult for him. Nobody wants to hear dad complaining about what's hard but for that man to see me struggling and understand deeply what that meant and clean that stall for my baby, man that meant the world."
The dad didn't let his appreciation go without being voiced, not only online to his 600k followers but to the worker's supervisor. He revealed the Amtrak worker's name is George, is dark skinned with two braids and encouraged people to tell him that he's doing an amazing job if they see him.
George definitely deserves recognition for going above and beyond. Sometimes a parent's village is simply other parents in the wild willing to see you and give you a helping hand. If dad's don't speak up about their parenting struggles then the world will never know to be inclusive of things specific to dads solo parenting for a few hours, days or forever. Gaines speaking up can have a positive impact for dads in the future.
This article originally appeared in January.
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Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids…
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Urgent dash to the bathroom! 🚪🏃♂️
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
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Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."