Heroes
These Kids Aren't Lovin' It, So They're Speaking Up About It
These kids aren't showing up for the Happy Meal.
07.30.14
Family
'Lazy' mom of four shares a video of her incredibly messy home and parents love her for it
"It's not dirty, it's just messy."
03.14.23
Bri James and her messy (not dirty) home.
It’s hard to keep your home clean when you have a child, but when you have four, unless you have a live-in maid, it’s completely impossible. There is no dishwasher fast enough to keep up with the dishes in the sink and no magical point where all four children have it together enough to put their toys away.
The problem is that if you take your eyes off the prize and let a day go by without cleaning up, you’re practically drowning in chaos.
TikTok user and stay-at-home mom Bri James (aka @themessymama4) did the unthinkable and let her home go four days without tidying up and shared the incredible mess with everyone on TikTok.
"I know I'm going to get roasted," she says in the clip, "but ... this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves."
The clip shows cutlery on the floor, empty packets everywhere, dishes piled a mile-high in the sink, and clothes and toys strewn everywhere. The house looks like the parents went away on a permanent vacation and left their kids to fend for themselves.
The video was praised by a lot of parents who are tired of seeing mommy influencers with spotless homes and children in matching linen outfits. Finally, there was a mom on TikTok they could relate to.
"I'd MUCH rather see you clean your realistic house than watch another blonde clean an already clean countertop," Meghan Sanders wrote.
TikTokker Its_not_that_serious put things in perfect perspective. "Dude, at the end of the day all of their fingers and toes are attached and feeling safe and loved you’re doing fine. Someday the house will be clean," they wrote.
"Having children is mentally and physically exhausting and you don’t always have the energy to clean every day," Rose added.
But not everyone appreciated Bri's slice of reality. Some people thought that her messiness was borderline neglectful and that she was setting a terrible example for her children.
"Set a good example for your kids. Make them help," carleebocciaa wrote.
"Without children = fine, your choice. With children (especially small ones) = completely unacceptable," ACZOgirly wrote.
Shortly after posting her first video, Bri got to work on the impossible task of cleaning up the entire house. Noticeably absent from the job were her spouse and four children. She appears to clean the entire place by herself.
She showed her cleaning prowess through a series of fast-motion videos.
@themessymama4 my butt does not look flattering in these Walmart lounge pants 🤦🏼♀️😅
Finally, at 9:30 p.m., Bri was done with most of the job, although she still had a bit of vacuuming to do and there were still some dishes in the sink. At the end of the job, she was exhausted. But she got the job done and that’s all that matters. It’s OK to let your house fall into disarray from time to time but eventually, you have to take care of business.
@themessymama4 I'm going to bed now. 🤣🥱😴
We’ll give TikTokker Sannon Martin the final word on this story because she hits the nail on the head. “Your home is exactly like mine,” she wrote. “Some days it’s a wreck and some days it looks amazing. That’s life. You’re doing great!”
This article originally appeared on 03.05.22
Pop Culture
Andie MacDowell shows what we can all learn about beauty and age from the gray hair movement
"Honestly, it's exhausting to have to be something that you no longer are."
03.16.23
Andie MacDowell in Cannes, 2003.
For many, even those that proudly wave the flag of self-love, the sight of that first gray hair is anxiety inducing. That single strand is a harbinger of the doom of our youth. More than one, and you might as well weave them together to create yourself a noose. It’s time to kiss your beauty—and therefore, your value—goodbye.
But what if, instead of marking the end of our glory days, we could see this change as a new chapter with equally glorious reveals? Something worth presenting, rather than hiding?
Back in July 2021, actress Andie MacDowell made headlines for rocking the silver vixen look at the Cannes Film Festival. MacDowell’s hair has always been a defining feature, but previously she had been coloring her raven locks to maintain her signature look. This was at the behest of her managers, according to an interview with Vogue.
But after her kids officially declared the salt-and-pepper look was “badass,” MacDowell started to see going natural as a “power move.” So she followed the impulse, and you don’t need me to tell you it was a bit of a social media sensation.
MacDowell reflected on how freeing the experience was in a conversation with Interview Magazine. “I feel better like this. Honestly, it’s exhausting to have to be something that you no longer are…I was finally like, ‘You know what? I’m not young. And I’m OK with that..I feel so much more comfortable. It’s like I’ve taken a mask off or something.”’
Isn’t this a battle so many of us fight? Instead of basking in how far we’ve come, we spend so much effort trying to wind back the clock. And in all the rigamarole of trying to delay the inevitable, we forget that aging is a glorious gift. One that’s not guaranteed.
Even when we use terms like “embrace the gray,” there’s this connotation that aging is this frightening tidal wave that we simply need to bolster ourselves for. Where’s the grace in that? I mean, yes, as the end of life approaches, it is scary to think about the impending unknown. But the process of getting there? Perhaps not so much.
In the same article, MacDowell reflected that she, too, “hates the word 'embrace,' because it always sounds like you’re having to accept something, and I don’t feel like that.” I love this viewpoint. Accept it? Why not value it? Let’s come back to the original meaning of the word … and welcome it warmly.
MacDowell continued “We do have something unique to offer. You can’t be young forever, but you can always be considered beautiful, fashionable, and glamorous.”
The cynical voice in your head might say, “sure easy for someone who’s already glamorous to say that.” But MacDowell isn’t the only one who made this discovery. Tons of “real” women have had the same revelation.
Once the pandemic caused salons across the country to close down (coupled with major pay cuts and job losses), a surge of women chose to stop coloring their hair. But—as with many life aspects affected by COVID-19—what started as a forced restriction became an opportunity for reinvention. In ditching the hair dye, many women found that their silver strands were not only tolerable, they were empowering.
Now you could even say gray hair is “in” and making a comeback tour. And trust, these dames are definitely glamorous. This is not just an experience for A-listers.
Of course, this movement is not just about aesthetics. There is a bigger idea here. It’s no secret that our society has some deep-seated stigmas when it comes to aging, for women in particular. We place a high value on those "30 Under 30" lists, seek out the strongest retinol to erase all signs of life and stand mouth agape in horror at the first mention of the word “ma’am.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. All chapters of life are precious, and worth celebrating.
I’m a firm believer that glamor is only a result of confidence. And as we grow older, we only become more dynamic, more nuanced, more interesting. If that’s not a confidence booster, I don’t know what is.
Going gray won’t be the answer for everyone. I certainly don’t plan on trading in my signature red anytime soon. But the real call to adventure is: How can you feel good about yourself at every stage of life? How can you throw away the (false) notion that you somehow lose your shine with every passing year?
As the saying goes, “beauty is truth, truth beauty.” I think we can really see that in stories like these. To age gracefully is to age fearlessly. Radical self-acceptance is gorgeous.
This article originally appeared on 02.25.22
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Joy
Owner of plus-size dress shop gifts $700 prom dress to 'shy' teen after watching her light up
Creating moments like these is why she opened her store in the first place.
03.15.23
@juicybodygoddess/TikTok
Elyse Monroe found the perfect dress, then found out it costs nothing.
Adolescence is a harrowing time for body image and self-esteem all around, but few milestones are as universally daunting as finding a prom dress. Whether it’s due to budget constraints, not being able to find a dress that fits, or both, what should be a fun event is often viscerally dreaded.
This was certainly the case for Summer Lucille. Lucille told Today.com that growing up, “if you weren’t skinny, there weren’t many options, and it was devastating for me because I’ve always loved fashion.”
She recalled, “I went to my prom looking like a church lady in a suit dress with a jacket because it was the only thing that fit. It was a very sad period in my life.”
Wanting to ensure a more positive experience for others, Lucille opened up her plus-size-only dress shop, Juicy Body Goddess, in 2016. The boutique, based in North Carolina, features mostly Lucille’s own designs of formal dresses up to a size 6X.
Juicy Body Goddess really started gaining traction when Lucille set up a TikTok account sharing truly joyful interactions with customers as they try on different styles.
Besides having an eye for fashion, Lucille is a masterful hype woman, making others feel beautiful with her enthusiastic, heartfelt praises. She clearly loves what she does. Here's one of many, many examples:
@juicybodygoddess I had to get her number so she can model🤩 #plussizefashion#plussizeboutique#birthday#plussizetiktok#juicybodygoddess♬ original sound - JuicyBodyGoddess
Juicy Goddess’s TikTok presence is how 18-year-old Elyse Monroe found out about the store. Monroe and her family drove nearly six hours for a consultation, determined to find the perfect dress.
Lucille shared with People that Monroe was initially “nervous and shy,” but after trying on a sparkly, form-fitting purple gown, everything changed.
"When she got into that purple dress, she lit up," Lucille told People.
There was still a budget problem, however. Monroe’s family could only afford to pay $400. The dress was $700.
Thankfully, Lucille had one more surprise up her sleeve.
A now viral TikTok video shows the Monroe family approach the register, asking how much the dress would cost.
Lucille can be heard saying, “This dress is $700…but it’s free.”
Yeah, as you can probably expect, this leaves the teen and her family a bit emotional. Watch below:
@juicybodygoddess I didn't cry until I did edit #plussize#plussizetiktok#juicybodygoddess#plussizefashion♬ original sound - JuicyBodyGoddess
The video has had an overwhelming number of responses. Many commiserated with their own painful prom memories and applauded Lucille for her generosity. Some were even inspired to perform their own act of kindness by donating. Lucille told People that since posting the video, there has been $12,000 worth of gift card purchases. Yowza.
This is such an amazing example of what can happen when we celebrate uniqueness, spread generosity, and prioritize making everyone feel worthy of praise.
If you’d like to purchase a gift card from Juicy Body Goddess, click here. Or, if you wanna just follow along on some gorgeous fittings, you can find the Juicy Body Goddess TikTok here.Keep ReadingShow less
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Family
Funny video compares the differences in how new moms and 'veteran’ mothers parent their kids
Veteran mom for the win.
03.16.23
"Veteran" mom and "new" mom parent differently.
When a couple has their first child, they start out with the greatest of intentions and expectations. The child will only eat organic food. They will never watch TV or have screen time and will always stay clean.
But soon, reality sets in and if they have more kids, they'll probably be raised with a lot less attention. As a result, first-born kids turn out a bit differently than their younger siblings.
"Rules are a bit more rigid, attention and validation is directed and somewhat excessive," Niro Feliciano, LCSW, a psychotherapist and anxiety specialist, told Parents. "As a result, firstborns tend to be leaders, high achievers, people-pleasing, rule-following and conscientious, several of the qualities that tend to predict success."
However, it’s not just laziness that makes parents change their M.O. As parents gain experience, they learn not to sweat the small stuff and to have a bit more faith in their children.
Tova Leigh is a writer and performer who creates funny sketches on TikTok about parenting and feminism. To point out the differences between new and veteran moms she made a series of funny sketches with fellow mom Riona O Connor.
In the first video, the two mothers deal with fighting children. The new mommy uses a sweet voice and quietly suggests, “Oh honey, no, no fighting, sweetie. Gentle hands” to the brawling kids. When that doesn't work, the veteran mother screams, “We said stop fighting!”
@tova_leigh We’re all doing a great job, some of us just do it a little louder (or with a hose) 😂 which one are you?! with @rionaoconnor_ #fyp #funny #parenting #momsoftiktok
The video must have hit a nerve with parents everywhere because it went viral, racking up more than 3 million views. "As a mum of 5… this is 100% accurate," Lora Bora wrote in the comments. Kira agreed saying, "I got 4…. And I felt this in my soul."
While the video was funny, it should also provide some comfort to young mothers who feel overwhelmed by the pressure to be perfect. As blogger Constance Hall points out, the need to be perfect can rob us of precious time with our kids.
"We are only half present for them all of the time due to the constant pressure to have everything perfect,” Hall wrote in a viral Facebook post. “To go to the gym, answer that email, pay that bill, cook that organic kale, blend it, get it into a patty so no one knows it's kale, get to the doctors.... Make the kids lunches cos if you order them again you will be JUDGED!”
In the second video, the two mothers have very different approaches to making a puree.
@tova_leigh We’re all doing a great job, some of us just do it with a happy meal 🤪 which one are you? With @rionaoconnor_ #funny #fyp #momlife
In a third video, the two parents express their Christmas spirit in very different ways.
@tova_leigh #ad AD We are all doing a great job, some of us just do it with less Christmas spirit 😉 Which one are you?! Did you recognise any of the lines? They are all from our favorite movies available on @SkyTV this Christmas. What's your favorite? With the amazing @rionaoconnor_ TAG A FRIEND #ChristmasOnSky #fyp #funny #momlife #momsontiktok #newmomvsveteranmom #ad
Kids grow up fast and if you blink an eye, you just may miss it. So regardless if you’re a new mom or a veteran mom, take a page out of these mothers’ books, relax a bit and have fun being a parent. Your kids will probably forget your vegan kale puree, but they’ll always remember the time you spent just being present.
This article originally appeared on 05.18.22
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Family
15 people reveal the real reasons why they don’t plan on having children
Nobody should judge another person's reproductive choices.
03.16.23
A woman isn't into the idea of having kids.
A growing number of adults in the United States say that they aren’t interested in having children. A 2021 study by Pew Research found that 44% of nonparents aged 18 to 49 say that it is “not too or not at all likely that they will have children someday.” That’s a 7% increase over the 37% who said the same in 2018.
Fifty-six percent of those say they simply don’t want to have children, and the 46% who chose “some other reason” cited medical reasons, their financial situation, lack of a partner, age and state of the world as the biggest reasons they aren’t likely to have kids in the future.
A Reddit user by the name of ilovenosycats asked the online forum, “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?” and received a lot of revealing answers. Over 1,700 people responded to the question, and some of the most popular reasons contradict the idea that those who don’t want to have kids are being selfish.
Many who replied to the thread said they don’t want to have children because they don’t think they’d be good parents. Others are dealing with childhood trauma and have no interest in passing it on to their kids. Some are concerned about the condition of the world and don’t think it’s right to bring a child into such a challenging place.
Some enjoy having fewer responsibilities and a couple of extra dollars in their pockets. And who can blame them?
While it’s good to understand those who want to remain child-free, people’s reproductive choices are no one else’s business. There are many great reasons to have kids or be child-free. So, it’s probably best to celebrate each other’s differences when it comes to such a big decision.
Plus, no one should have children unless they really want them.
Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?”
1.
"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that." — SignificantFunny1523
Usedcellist1 added:
"This is my reason. Waiting for that 'badly enough"'to kick in. It's getting hard to differentiate between wanting to fit in socially (not wanting to miss my friends and family's current 'baby wave'), and what I actually want. Been married 4 years now and I'm 32, so it's just... hard. I struggle with the idea daily."
2.
"Sleep. I love sleep. I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I much prefer sleep to children." — DamnIGottaJustSay
3.
"This curse ends with me." — DavetheRoper
4.
"Don’t have the patience for kids." — Leoimirmir
5.
"I don’t want to be a parent. That’s a perfectly valid reason." — AllyriaCelene
6.
"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid." — Typical_Conclusion_5
7.
"Would rather help an existing life be better through adoption than to create another one. As well as not pass down my less than optimal genetics." — LoonaticLaskdorp
8.
"I like my life exactly like it is. Kids might make it better. They might make it worse. But, since this is awesome, I’m great with things staying the way they are." — SnooWords4513
9.
"I have OCD and trauma that would be entirely overwhelmed by a child. Children deserve to be annoying, gross, messy, and to have fun. I would not be able to foster an environment where a small child had the freedom to have fun without feeling bad about themself. Children are annoying but they’re supposed to be. It would be unfair for me to have a child that I know would overstimulate me. You don’t get breaks from being a parent and I just don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.
I would perhaps like to adopt or foster older children one day. I think I could help someone have a very nice life. I’d also like to give a child the adult guidance I needed and never had.
Overall, I think I’m more suited to be a cool uncle. I love kids and feel like they represent the best parts of personhood — love, trust, freedom of self-expression without shame. I just don’t think I’d be a good fit for small kids long term. My own desires to nurture another don’t overpower the personal limitations I hold, I believe that would be selfish. On a personal level, I would also be horrified if I had a child with the same disorders that I have. I know the struggles and pains of growing up mentally ill and mistreated, and I never hope to make another person feel that way." — TheSoundofStyrofoam
10.
"Bringing someone into this world is cruel." — dziwolonk
11.
"I can barely look after myself let alone a kid." — Rude_Act_6276
12.
"Isn't 8 Billion People enough?" — Georgiculus
13.
"Responsibility is one of the things I hate most in my life. I want peace of mind. I don't want to deal with a creature that I have to take care of everything. Besides, this world isn't a good place anyway, if I had a child I wouldn't be able to live my own life trying to give him a good life. That's why I don't have children." — Corvuseums
14.
"Being a DINK is the literal best. We are the coolest neighbors on the block, amazing aunts and uncles, loving parents to several pets, and have enough free money that we can give money to charities and causes we believe in. I think I am a better member of my community without kids. (I fully believe this is not the case for everyone and there are many fantastic parents.)" — probably_a_possum
15.
"I can’t impregnate myself." — Nirvana_bob7
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Joy
'Stealthy' dog gets around the house by tiptoeing everywhere and it's strangely adorable
He started tiptoeing as a puppy to sneak things, and now he does it all the time until someone makes eye contact.
03.16.23
Photo by Cierra Voelkl on Unsplash
Dog gets around the house by tiptoeing.
Dogs can be weird. They've all got their own personalities and sometimes we owners have to raise an eyebrow and scratch our heads trying to figure out what they're thinking. Milton, a family's pit bull has taken to sneaking around his house for no real reason. Or maybe there is a reason, but he keeps getting caught before he can finish his diabolical plan.
Danielle Tholen told The Dodo that he started tiptoeing to get to his own food bowl when he was about 7 months old, so she took him to the vet thinking something was wrong with the puppy. Turns out, he's just really bad at sneaking...well, kinda. Milton is so quiet that you can't hear him on the hardwood floors, but he's also a fairly large dog who tiptoes right in front of people.
But shhhh...he's a stealthy boy.
"He legitimately does it to try to steal food, or make himself available in case I drop some food or he can steal it from the trash. He's sneaky," Tholen says in the video.
Milt's owner goes on to explain that the constant tiptoeing started about two or three years ago, but when he was a puppy, it was just every once in a while. It's certainly an interesting way to get around the house. I suppose if you're constantly tiptoeing, then eventually your silent movements will land you with a stray spoil of vittles as your reward.
But Milton moves so slowly while he's attempting to stealthily sneak forbidden treats that it looks like someone has accidentally hit slow motion on the remote. His peculiar behavior is adorable and seems to keep his owner laughing.
Watch Milton creep around below:
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