The CDC reduced COVID isolation time and people are joking about the 'bad advice' that'll come next

The CDC changed its COVID-19 isolation guidelines on Monday in a move that confused a lot of people. The CDC now recommends that asymptomatic people infected with COVID-19 isolate for five days, instead of 10.
It also recommends that after isolation, those who were infected wear a mask for five days while around others.
The move comes at a time when there has been a major rise in cases across the country due to the omicron variant. The decision has a lot of people asking, “Why are we sending people who’ve been infected out in public sooner when the number of cases is on the rise?”
There has also been anxiety among the business community that an increase in isolated employees may lead to staffing shortages across the country. So is the CDC just bowing to the business community or is there a good reason for us to be more relaxed about a deadly disease?
“The Omicron variant is spreading quickly and has the potential to impact all facets of our society. CDC’s updated recommendations for isolation and quarantine balance what we know about the spread of the virus and the protection provided by vaccination and booster doses,” CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky said in a statement.
“These updates ensure people can safely continue their daily lives,” she added. “Prevention is our best option: get vaccinated, get boosted, wear a mask in public indoor settings in areas of substantial and high community transmission, and take a test before you gather.”
There are a lot of people out there who think reducing isolation periods at a time when infections are on the rise is a really bad idea. So a group of people on Twitter decided to do the only thing we can in such crazy times, have a laugh.
The Twitter users have been speculating on other pieces of bad advice the CDC may come out with in the future. Here are 16 of the funniest.
cdc says go ahead and get bangs— Ygrene\u2122 (@Ygrene\u2122) 1640707041
No, don't get bangs.
cdc says if you can lean you can clean— rava (@rava) 1640659894
People are a little suspicious that the CDC is kowtowing to business interests.
The CDC says if you blow weed smoke in a paper towel roll while covering the hole with a dryer sheet your mom won\u2019t smell it.— La Befana (@La Befana) 1640712034
The worst piece of advice you'll ever get in high school.
The CDC says it is now OK to go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.— Michael G. Bazemore (@Michael G. Bazemore) 1640748070
Vizzini begs to differ.
CDC says you can now eat the Silica Gel packet if you\u2019re feeling a little peckish— basement fire (@basement fire) 1640704022
You can eat the packet that says "DO NOT EAT" if your boss says it's ok.
The CDC says you can now wipe back to front— Bog Witch Energy (@Bog Witch Energy) 1640645088
No comment.
the cdc says you can check out any time you like but you can never leave— maura quint (@maura quint) 1640755214
In 2022, Don Henley will become the CDC director.
the cdc says sex is just so much better without a condom and promises to pull out— alyssugh (@alyssugh) 1640722263
The CDC pinky swears it will.
The CDC says you can now ask \u201cwhat are we\u201d after 5 dates.— Alexandra Bucky Variant Chaos Magic Anderson (@Alexandra Bucky Variant Chaos Magic Anderson) 1640653938
The CDC is so needy these days.
The CDC says you can now run with scissors.— \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 Cat Herding Science Nerd \ud83d\udd2c (@\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 Cat Herding Science Nerd \ud83d\udd2c) 1640656909
You can run with scissors, as long as you're wearing a mask.
The CDC says it\u2019s now ok to watch your dog stretch without saying \u201coooooh, BIG STRETCH\u201d— Sarah Axelrath, MD (@Sarah Axelrath, MD) 1640663316
No one can watch their dog stretch without making a comment. It's impossible.
The CDC says you actually need a note from your boss to go to the doctor— \ud83c\udf84Holiday Cheer Austin\ud83c\udf84 (@\ud83c\udf84Holiday Cheer Austin\ud83c\udf84) 1640738220
The CDC only cares about your boss these days. Your health? Not so much.
CDC says you can have either thoughts or prayers, but not both.— \ud83c\udf0a Purl \ud83c\udf0a (@\ud83c\udf0a Purl \ud83c\udf0a) 1640716860
What about ivermectin?
CDC says rub some dirt on it, walk it off— Red Army Duck (@Red Army Duck) 1640663764
The CDC is now a dad in the '70s.
The CDC says to just put some Vicks on it.— Jason Thomas (@Jason Thomas) 1640703995
Vicks cures everything.
BREAKING: cdc says it is fine to bathe with your toaster as long as you plug it in first— Incindery \ud83d\udd25 (@Incindery \ud83d\udd25) 1640646381
Clean toasters make healthy toast.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."