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Joy

15 unexpected signs someone is much, much smarter than you think

The smartest people are often funny and humble.

via Associated Press/Wikimedia Commons

Albert Einstein writing on a blackboard.

Can you quickly and easily tell how intelligent someone is? There are some obvious ways to determine if someone is highly intelligent, like when you see them work out a complex trigonometry problem on a blackboard or when they can easily explain the science behind mRNA vaccines or dark matter.

But there are also those we meet at social gatherings who immediately make us think they are very smart. Usually, it isn’t because they are making a long-winded speech about the fall of the Roman Empire or explaining quarks. We know they are intelligent because of the way they interact with people and ideas.

A Redditor named SomethingAbout2020 asked people on the AskReddit forum to share the “non-obvious signs” that people are intelligent. Many of their responses centered on highly intelligent people being open-minded, curious, and not wasting their time arguing with others.

Brilliant people are confident in what they know, consider other people’s opinions, and readily admit when they don’t know the answer.

What are 15 'non-obvious' signs that someone is really smart?

1. They know what they don't know

"They acknowledge areas where they lack knowledge."

"'Never pretend to know something when you don't' is something I always teach. It covers lying and ignorance."

2. They consider other people's ideas

"They’ll listen to the other's facts and points and take them into account when giving an objection."

"One of the best developers at my last job and manager of a project I was at is an extremely intelligent person. ... One thing I noticed is how he would take everyone's opinion into account. He would take my opinions into consideration even if I'm not a smarter person or know less about development."

3. They make you feel smart

"Talking to a dumb person will make you feel smart. Talking to a smart person will make you feel dumb. Talking to a very smart person will make you feel smart."

4. They see patterns

"Part of the reason smart people throughout history are well-known is because they discovered something new and figured out how to maximize its potential. Darwin was a guy who discovered a bunch of islands with slightly different animals. He then collected and analyzed that data to come up with the theory of evolution, which was largely correct. Einstein’s theory of relativity was based off of his observation that physics acted on everything equally. He figured out that “exceptions” were because of the way high-speed objects interact with the universe’s speed limit (the speed of light). He recognized these exceptions by gathering them and recognizing the pattern between them all, then created his theory of relativity based on that."

A painter making a mural. via Canva/Photos

5. They consider multiple intelligences

"They realize not everyone is smart the same way. Your 'stupid hick neighbor' might have dropped out of school in 8th grade, but he can drive your car once and tell you exactly what's wrong, then fix it. That a**hole in school that had no empathy for anyone and showed no emotion made that sci-fi sh*t you thought would never be real. Yeah, she's dingy and her worldview is tiny, but she's the best teacher you've ever met and inspires tons of kids to go on and do great things with themselves. There's no one-size-fits-all answer here, really."

People who are super bright are probably familiar with Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. The theory suggests that people have more than just one type of just one type of intelligence, like being good at mathematics. Gardener says there are several, including musical, spatial, linguistic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and kinesthetic intelligence. This theory allows people to appreciate different forms of intelligence that may not be of the academic variety.

6. They choose their battles

"When another person is not able to process something and, therefore, sticks with his opinion, after a few tries, the smart person just gives up. There is no use in trying to make someone understand something while they already have an uneducated opinion."

7. They speak to their audience

"They know how to explain concepts on just about any level, tailoring that level to their intended audience, and without coming across as condescending in any way."

"I heard a saying that went 'you have to be an expert to explain it simply.'"

8. They're confident in their intelligence

"Not constantly bragging about their intelligence. If they truly are smart, people can figure that out pretty quickly without them doing anything to show it."

"You generally only brag about things you're insecure about because you seek validation. If you are very comfortable with your intelligence, then you may not care if someone misinterprets you and makes you look dumb or something. You have nothing to prove. That's not just for intelligence but for anything."

9. They're funny

"I think the smart people are even more funny than stupid people because smart people understand the complexity behind humor and can make their jokes reflect that."

Scientific studies show that funny people, especially those with a dark sense of humor, are more intelligent than their not-so-funny peers. Researchers argue that it takes cognitive and emotional ability to make people laugh, and analysis shows that funny people have higher verbal and non-verbal intelligence.

laugh, humor, sense of humor, jokes, men in suits, moment of levity, A man laughing at his friend's joke.via Canva/Photos

10. They mind their own business

"This is a big one. They keep to themselves and deal with their own drama."

11. They aren't necessarily great students

"Believe it or not 'average' or 'above average' students are often smarter than those with straight A’s on the report cards. They do enough to pass well and get what they want but don’t let the academic system control them. Life isn’t all about booksmarts. This shows they are independent thinkers and don’t get wrapped up in designed systems. Not all, but many. Many kids who are forced to always be exceptional in school can end up the worst off and can develop deeper issues."

12. They are good listeners

"They actually listen to who they are talking to as opposed to waiting for their turn to talk."

13. Curiosity

"It really does seem to be one of the single greatest differentiators between average and smart."

A meta-analysis of over 50,000 students from around 200 separate studies found that students who are curious do better in their school work over those who are not. Why is curiosity so important when it comes to IQ? “Curiosity is basically a hunger for exploration. If you’re intellectually curious, you’ll go home, you’ll read the books," Dr Sophie von Stumm, the study’s first author, said. "If you’re perceptually curious, you might go traveling to foreign countries and try different foods.”

14. Comfortable in silence

"Being comfortable enough to allow a moment of complete silence while you think when the natural instinct of most is to immediately start replying tells me that you are, at the very least, mindful of what you want to say."

15. Unattached to their opinions

"Most of the smart people I know are not pushy with their opinions; by contrast, most of the opinionated people I know are flaming morons. I don't know if there's a correlation there, but my anecdotal experience has always been that the more eager someone is to state their opinion, the less that opinion is probably worth."

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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intelligence

Joy

How do you know someone is incredibly intelligent? Here are 15 'subtle signs' people notice.

"They can change their mind when presented with new information."

via Associated Press/Wikimedia Commons

Albert Einstein using a blackboard.

Highly intelligent people come in all types. Some have no problem bragging about their smarts or accolades, while others are more humble because they don’t need to call attention to their brilliance. However, without tooting their own horn, certain hallmarks of intelligence are noticeable in how they approach people and situations. It seems that having a big brain is a hard thing to hide.

One of the undeniable characteristics of someone very intelligent is that they exhibit mental flexibility. They change their opinions when they don’t have enough information on a topic and can apply what they’ve learned from one subject to another. They also tend to have a great sense of humor, proving that their brain can easily connect different ideas.

A Redditor asked people on the ProductivityCafe subforum to share the “subtle signs that someone is intelligent.” It created great conversations about the characteristics of intelligent people and how their smarts seem to influence every part of them, from their personality to their ability to avoid unnecessary conflict.

smart people, thoughtful people, intelligence, signs of intelligence, reading, books A man reading a book in his library.via Canva/Photos

Here are 15 subtle signs that someone is very intelligent.

1. Curious about multiple subjects

"They like to learn about any and everything."

"And remember details and concepts later. A desire to understand and curiosity about the subject at hand."

2. They change their minds

"They can change their mind when presented with new information."

"This is definitely the best / most noticeable answer. Intelligent people agnostically process new information. They don’t just “automatically” deny anything that they don’t know or is inconsistent with what they already know. Intelligent people - it’s not what they know, it’s how they interpret / process new information."

"As John Nash, the mathematician allegedly once said; when the facts change, I change my mind!"

3. They process humor quickly

"They get the joke sooner than most people. Happens once in a while in movies or group settings: one person starts to laugh way ahead of everyone else. That’s one with a super fast processing mind (I know one). It is totally unconscious, so cannot be faked."

4. They like being corrected

"When you correct them, they're actually happy about it because they get to learn something new."

"100%. This is often referred to as growth mindset."

5. Great sense of humor

"Humor is a marker for intelligence. Truly dumb people aren’t funny."

"Agreed but I would add that witty or dark humor is more intelligent than mean, cruel, gross humor. If someone’s 'wit' is just the same structure of putting other people down or being gratuitously shocking or gross, then no."

"A really good sense of humor. To be really funny, you have to be very observant and able to see things in ways that others don’t."

6. They make you feel smart

"They explain some things to you in a way that makes you feel intelligent."

"Einstein said, 'If you can't explain what you are talking about to a six-year-old, you don't fully understand it yourself.'"

7. They think before they respond

"They don't react. There is always a delay... and then, they respond."

"They observe, they pause, and then comes the long encyclopedic reply."

A woman thinking about her response.via Canva/Photos

8. They know when to be quiet

"Yes, I have come across people with no filter, and have to argue about everything, and that can be exhausting."

"Never miss a good opportunity to shut the f**k up."

9. They're great at banter

"Yes, and quick word play/good puns."

10. They ask about your thought process

"If someone is inquisitive. They want to know how and why you think the way you do. Most people don’t do this."

11. They know what they don't know

"Even very intelligent people don't know about every topic. They understand this and don't pretend to be an expert or speak to things they don't specialize in. Or they use analogies to connect it to things they do understand.They understand that there is a lot they do not know, especially about their given specialties."

"Some people have so much ego, that they have an inability to say that they don’t know the answer to a question. They’ll either give a bullsh*t answer, or try to shrug off the patient’s concerns entirely. Nobody knows everything. If you don’t know, there’s no fault in admitting that, and then using resources to find the answer."

12. Physical intelligence is important, too

"I wish people could understand intelligence in many forms—being good with your hands is intelligence. Being able to learn elaborate choreography is intelligence. Being emotionally responsive and understanding microexpressions is intelligence. It’s not just regurgitating facts. I’m a fact regurgitator myself, but I have a lot of respect for things I can’t do."

13. They don't get into drawn-out arguments

"Not raising their voice during a disagreement. Shouting over each other is to try and win an argument with intimidation rather than logic."

"Argue with an idiot and there's two idiots."

14. They think for themselves

"They don’t have herd mentality. Specifically in politics, religion, and pseudoscience."

"I remember the first time that I understood that not picking a side was a valid option for many situations. It was like a record skip moment in my head."

15. They use a bidet

"They own a bidet and don’t use toilet paper."

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intelligence

Parenting

'Let them be themselves': Mark Cuban’s parenting advice is surprisingly simple

Every parent should hear this.

Credit: Gage Skidmore, Flickr

Mark Cuban's estimated net worth is $5.7 billion, but he still cares about raising children with a strong work ethic.

When it comes to billionaire parenting, one thinks of pouting children, upset that their pony’s coat isn’t the right color. Or jam-packed schedules and elite boarding schools, where there are fancy plaid uniforms and everyone speaks three-to-four languages, minimum. But sometimes, the best advice comes in the simplest form, wisdom that Mark Cuban, the billionaire entrepreneur and former Shark Tank investor seems understand well.

During a recent appearance on the Your Mom’s House podcast, Cuban opened up about how he and his wife, Tiffany Stewart, tried to raise their children somewhat “normally,” despite the glaring fame, fortune, and pressure that comes with being a person like Mark. With an estimated net worth of $5.7 billion, it’d be more than easy for him to outsource parenting duties to hired professionals, or to prescribe his children a 65-year plan drawn up before they were even born. However, he explains that he and his wife decided to foster one essential trait: “Everything’s changing so rapidly, from a technological perspective, just the world in general. So, you know, just be curious,” he says. “That’s what I try to get them to do, right? Be curious so that you always want to learn something, and figure things out.”

Curiosity is overlooked as a trait to cultivate in children, yet research has shown that curiosity is an incredibly powerful trait, one that impacts learning, creativity, and success. A study conducted in 2011 found that curiosity, or a “hungry mind” is just as useful for predicting academic performance in children as intelligence and effort, writing, “Our results highlight that a “hungry mind” is a core determinant of individual differences in academic achievement.”

“And everything’s changing so rapidly—from a technology perspective, just the world in general. So just, you know, be curious. That’s what I try to get them to do, right? Be curious so that you always want to learn something, and figure things out. The more knowledge you have, the more—not power, but the more capabilities you have, and the more options are available to you.”

It even makes us feel good: our brains release dopamine and other feel-good chemicals when we encounter new experiences, places, ideas, and people. Science also shows that curiosity is associated with higher levels of positive emotions, a higher satisfaction with life, lower levels of anxiety, and greater psychological well-being.

via GIPHY

How to raise curious kids in four key principles

However, for children, embracing uncertainty and stepping out of their comfort zones might feel scary. Which is why Cuban and his wife made curiosity a high priority when raising their kids. Here are four strategies for nurturing this trait in children—and with some luck, successful adults will appear on the other end.

child, curiosity, exploration, freedom, parenting "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." Credit: Justin Peterson on Unsplash

Don’t pressure them to choose careers too early. Despite society’s love of asking children “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Cuban strongly believes that expecting children to know their life’s calling at 18 or even 22 is outdated and unrealistic. “I was talking to one of my kids about college the other day, and it’s like, you don’t have to know what you’re going to be when you grow up,” he shared. “I don’t think any kid should be under the pressure at 18 or 22, when they graduate from college, to know exactly what they’re going to do.”
Knowledge is power. One of the most common adages in the book, but for Cuban, it was essential that his children learned that curiosity leads to real-life skills, abilities, and talents, unlike control. “The more knowledge you have, the more—not power, but the more capabilities you have, and the more options are available to you,” he explained.
Change is the only constant. Get used to it. As someone whose made billions from multiple side projects, investments, and major sports team ownership, Cuban understands better than most that life doesn’t always follow a straight and narrow path. Rather than clinging to the ways things were, Cuban encourages parents to embrace the rapidly changing world we live in. Children who are taught to adapt, pivot, and evolve will be better suited in a world where entirely new fields of work emerge constantly–and will be better equipped than their peers to handle the job market’s volatility.
Let them decide their own path. Ensuring their children had the freedom to explore and discover their own interests was of the utmost importance to Cuban. Other parents might want to project an agenda onto their children, reflecting their own insecurities or need for reassurance that they’ve raised a “successful kid.” And while letting go of the reins may be scary for parents, it will be well worth it: “I want them to go on their own path,” Cuban says. “Whatever it might be, I want them to be themselves. I don’t want them to be Mark Cuban’s kid for their entire lives.”

via GIPHY

It’s clear from the interview that Cuban and his wife recognized the uniqueness and the scale of their position. At one point, when talking about his kids' future inheritances, he says, “I’ve watched Succession. I don’t want it to be like that.” And while he, like any other parent, wants their child to do well and to succeed in life, when it’s all said and done, he really just loves being a father. “My favorite word in the world is 'Dad,’” he says, smiling.

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parenting

Health

Expert shares the key 'brain training' trick to master the cravings you can't resist

Here's how to break bad habits.

via Canva/Photos

A woman tempted by a chocolate bar.

Imagine a life where you had complete control over your cravings. You'd be able to resist that big hunk of chocolate cake. You’d be able to know when enough is enough with alcohol and drugs. You’d also have the willpower to put your phone down when your mind tells you to pick it up and start scrolling through Instagram.

While perfect self-control seems impossible (and not very fun), studies show that a technique called urge surfing is very effective at helping people control their cravings so they become less frequent and intense over time. Instead of using white-knuckled willpower to get through an uncomfortable craving, urge surfing is a practice where you observe the craving as it moves through your body until it goes away.

What is urge surfing?

Let’s say you have a strong urge to eat a candy bar. Picture the urge as a wave and imagine yourself riding the wave as it naturally ebbs and flows rather than fighting the urge to give in to the craving. You recognize the urge, pay attention to the accompanying thoughts, and feel the sensations that go through your body. It’s all about accepting the craving and allowing it to pass.

surfing, surfers, waves, mindfulness, cravings, ocean, swimming A surfer catching air.via Canva/Photos

Jennifer Salzaman, known on TikTok as @RebelwithoutaDrink, explained the practice in a video. “Urge surfing is exactly what it sounds like. It’s riding out an urge just like a surfer rides a wave. When that craving or that urge peaks, it feels like it will never go away, and you have to act on it. But you don't, as uncomfortable as it is, it is just a feeling. It's just a thought, and it will pass if you can stay present, and you can stay curious, and you can let that urge and that craving run its course. You're training your brain to deal with the discomfort. The more you do this, the easier it will be to achieve the changes that you seek.”

@rebelwithoutadrink
Urge surfing is a technique for managing our unwanted behaviors. Rather than giving in to an urge, we can learn to ride it out, like a surfer riding a wave. After a short time, the urge will pass on its own! #quitdrinking #cravings #alcoholfreejourney

Dr. Sanam Hafeez tells Verywell Mind that understanding the ocean metaphor is important because it gives us a reference point to realize that the craving will peak and pass. Hafeez says, "Visualize the urge as a wave in the ocean, rising in intensity before eventually cresting and subsiding." She suggests you "picture yourself riding this wave, allowing it to peak without giving in to impulsive actions." Remind yourself that “urges, like waves, are temporary and will eventually pass if you allow them to."

According to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Addiction and Recovery, the most you’ll have to surf any craving is 30 minutes, and then it will leave you alone for a while. However, it’s crucial to surf them, not to feed them. “We feed urges through ruminating, giving them attention, planning to fulfill them, engaging in apparently irrelevant and unimportant behaviors, justifying, etc. Urges will pass on their own if we allow them to,” the recovery center says.

mindfulness, peaceful, restful, woman resting, woman as peace, woman satisfied A woman relaxing on the couch. via Canva/Photos

The great thing is that after you successfully surf a few urges and they go away, it will train your brain to handle the discomfort, which will make handling cravings increasingly easier. Most cravings will become more manageable, less frequent, and intense over time. The key is to train your brain to handle them through surfing.

It should be said that urge surfing is just one tool for helping people overcome intense cravings. It is not meant to be a replacement for professional treatment for a serious addiction or disorder. If you are suffering from problems stemming from drug or alcohol addiction or disordered eating, please get professional help.

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addiction

Joy

A costume designer’s horrific monster becomes this child’s best friend

Just a girl and her “dinosaur” being pals

https://www.tiktok.com/@spiritwalker

A little girl reminded costume designer Brandon Johnson and everyone online that you can’t judge something from the outside. A TikTok video making the rounds across the internet showcases Johnson’s fierce-looking “Spirit Walker” costume/puppet befriending with young Evona on the street.

Johnson brought his towering, four-legged Ghoul creature on the street to show off his creation to the public and drink in the shocked reactions from the passers-by. While the majority of the pedestrians were impressed or freaked out by the sharp fanged creature, little Evona just grinned and waved her hands.After such a wholesome interaction, Johnson reached out to Evona’s mother, Eboni, and set up a surprise playdate between her daughter and his “dinosaur,” as Evona affectionately called the puppet. After reuniting with smiles, kicking around a ball, and some playtime, Evona’s excitement doubled when she received a plush Spirit Walker “dinosaur” for her to take home.

@spiritwalker
Replying to @dustyzoogs she was the first person to get the plush in person. Meet Evana- thanks @eboniibishop for being a wonderful mother #spiritwalker #ghoul #cute #fyp #found

Commenters on Reddit loved the connection between the beast and the toddler.

“This little girl is so adorable! She proves that what one person sees that is frightening another can see the joy in.”

“Kids see what's inside, not just what's on the outside!”

“It's unfortunate we get older and lose that innocence.”

Fear is a natural instinct and response. Per the National Library of Medicine and several other scientists, it’s partially how humans as a species have been able to survive and thrive. It’s not a bad trait but can provide hurdles and limits for some.

For many people, fear has created lost opportunities, whether it is fear that’s holding you back at work, fear of other people’s opinions, or just fear of the unknown in general. What makes this interaction so special, viral, and interesting is that by all reason this little girl should have been terrified, crying, and running to her mom upon seeing Johnson’s creation. In fact, that’s the intended response Johnson was trying to get from adults.

Yet instead of fear, Evona chose curiosity. Through her curiosity, she was able to touch not the exterior creature but what was truly inside of it (in this case, it was Brandon Johnson). Because she approached a situation with curiosity, she got a fun afternoon and plush toy to enjoy rather than yet another unknown to add to her list of fears.

Choosing to be curious rather than scared isn’t just beneficial to cute and naive children. Per a BBC report, curiosity can help your brain naturally create new neural pathways and lead to better success at work and understanding others. There is even a study that suggests that it can actually help you live a longer life.

Obviously, the things you probably fear aren’t actual living, breathing monsters or even fake costumes or puppets of ones. It’s understandable to look away from something that isn’t “normal.” Shying away from something new or foreign is relatable. Feeling uneasy to ask a person out is totally natural. It’s you thinking that you’re protecting yourself. No shame in that.

But not asking a person out could rob you of a potential love, or at least a potential quality friendship. Not trying the new scary thing could rob you of your brand new hobby or vocation. Choosing to look away could rob you of a new path or opportunity that previously hasn’t come your way.

We can all learn something from little Evona. Sometimes opportunities and quality connections can come if we just control our fears, let curiosity guide us, and look into the beady-eyed, sharp-toothed mouth of an unknown experience and say, “Hello, dinosaur!”

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friendship

The thought of your teen sexting is terrifying, but it doesn't have to be.

When my friend found out her 14-year-old son was sexting, she flipped out.

It sounds like an all-too-familiar scene for many parents: Her kid left his cellphone unattended. When she heard that "ping," she thoughtlessly grabbed the phone and saw something she now can't unsee: an explicit photo of his girlfriend, who's the same age as he is.

Image via iStock.

She said she immediately became angry. She was mad at the girl who had sent the photo, she was mad at her son for possibly asking for the picture, and I suspect she was also mad at herself for not having an honest, preemptive conversation with her kid about this rather new phenomenon.

My friend immediately confronted her son, whom she says was upset, embarrassed, and mortified all at once.

He didn't want to talk about it, was angry that she had looked at a message on his phone, and stormed into his room. And after such an intense and uncomfortable — albeit brief — confrontation, my friend backed off. They haven't talked about it since.

**When I heard this story, I thought, there has to be a better way.**

It's important to note there can be legal ramifications for sexting among teens who are not yet legal adults, but the reality is that it might still happen and parents need to be able to discuss it with them.

So I reached out to Nicole Cushman, MPH. She's the executive director at Answer and co-chair of the Sexuality Task Force at the American Public Health Association. Basically, she knows all about sexting, and her goal is to empower young people through honest, relevant, and effective sexuality education. And boy, did she have some things to teach me.

Image by Helar Lukats/Wikimedia Commons.

Sexting occurs when someone sends or receives a sexually explicit text, image, or video on their cellphone.

How many teens nowadays do you see without smartphones? Not very many, right? So while a lot of people sext (I see you, adults), it is also a highly accessible habit for kids who choose to engage. Sexting feels like it was born out of the need for teens to express themselves sexually, merged with all the incredible advances in technology (hello, Snapchat!) over the past 15 years or so.

But for a parent, those sexting waters can be tough to navigate. It's basically the "new" sex talk: How do you talk to your kids about sexting without shaming them? How can you give them some good info (that they'll actually listen to) before they start sexting?

Cushman has some ideas. Here are five small ways to teach your kids about safe sexting:

1. Acknowledge not just the cons, but also the pros of sexting.

Usually, teens who sext are trying to flirt or somehow feel closer to the person they're communicating with, Cushman says. So it's important to first acknowledge that they're exploring their sexuality by expressing sexual feelings, which is totally normal.

Also, consider that sexting is actually completely safe when it comes to physical risks like pregnancy or contracting STDs ... so that's good!

2. It's about educating not just the sender, but also the person on the receiving end.

You know what they say: With great power, comes great responsibility. Cushman advises parents and educators to discuss what's expected from both the sender and the receiver when it comes to sexting.

It's as simple as making it clear that, "Hey, if you're sharing intimate photos or texts with someone, make sure there's an understanding between the both of you that you want to keep those messages private."

Cushman points out that we tend to focus more on the individuals who send the sexts, though, and we pay a lot less attention to those who are receiving the explicit messages. When you really think about it, it is entirely up to them whether a sext goes any further than their phone, so we should be giving kids real talk about what happens on both sides of the phones.

When it comes to talking to your kid who may be receiving sexts, it could be as easy as saying, "Hey, if you're getting explicit texts, it's important you understand this is something very delicate that you've been entrusted with. Make sure you take that responsibility seriously."

Image via iStock.

3. Teach them how to make expectations clear.

This one is important: Talk to your kids about how to have a conversation about privacy. Encourage them to establish expectations of privacy with whoever they're communicating with, and don't be afraid to ask some tough questions while you're at it.

Cushman suggests first asking your teens to think through their relationships and whether or not they can fully trust the other person.

"Many young people might assume that if they send a message to someone they’re in a relationship with or someone they’re flirting with that it’s somehow implied that the message was meant to be private, but we know from the limited research that is out there that that’s often not what happens," Cushman says.

While there should be no shame in sexting, it's incredibly important to help your teens establish expectations too, offering up ways to frame the conversation with their partner, like: “I know this is something you might want and that you think is fun and sexy, but I wanna make sure that you understand before I do this that I’m expecting you to keep this between the two of us.”

4. If sexting goes wrong with your teen, what are some of the repercussions you can expect — both physically and emotionally?

Well, that depends. Certainly there are feelings of embarrassment, shame, and regret. That's understandable. But there can be an added layer of trauma to the teen if he or she starts to get bullied or harassed.

The internet is unpredictable, so if a sext meant to be kept private is somehow shared online, the emotional effects can be devastating. In the most extreme cases, Cushman says some young people have committed suicide after experiencing persistent harassment over photos that were distributed.

5. What should you do if things go wrong and your kid's explicit photos end up going to unintended places?

First things first — support them. Do not assume that it is their fault. Make sure your son or daughter knows you love them.

Sure, you may be angry, disappointed ... all those things a parent would naturally feel in that tricky situation. But don't let it define your kid, and Cushman says, by all means, it's important not to blame them. Do you remember what it was like being young and sexually curious?

The key here is communication and support. Tomorrow is another day and things will get better.

Image by J.K. Califf/Flickr.

Let's face it: It's probably going to be a little awkward discussing sexting with your kid.

But that's OK. Better to be open and candid with your teens than to let them walk through this unchartered territory alone. Technology is only going to get more sophisticated, so it might even be important to have the "digital sex talk" before your kid starts engaging in this new world on their own.

Take the time to have an open and realistic conversation. Understand that they're sexually curious and now have all this technology to experiment with. Parents are their kids' first teachers, so talk to them about sexting: the good, the bad, and the ugly. That way, if they choose to engage, they have all the information they need to help keep them safe.

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