upworthy
Pop Culture

People reveal which paid memberships are 100 percent worth every penny

"Costco… For the chicken and food court alone it is worth it."

deer at Yosemite National Park, air ambulance helicopter
Photo (left) by Johannes Andersson on Unsplash Photo (right) by Ben Wicks on Unsplash

From National Parks passes to air ambulance services, some memberships are totally worth it.

With the basic cost of living stretching many folks financially, people are always on the lookout for ways to save money. But with long-term commitments and ever-increasing costs, people are also often wary of memberships or subscriptions that might save you money (or at least be worth what they cost), but also might not.

Thanks to a Reddit user who asked fellow Redditors, "What membership is 100% worth every penny you pay for it?" we've got a list of memberships that might actually be worth checking out.

The kinds of memberships people listed vary widely, from warehouse stores to learning programs to medical evacuation services, but everyone who shared made a strong case for why the cost of them are worth it.

Here are the memberships people say are worth every penny:

Emergency Helicopter Services

"I live on an island in Alaska with limited healthcare. An emergency flight to a more capable hospital will cost $50000. For $100 a year I save $49900 if I ever need their services. That $100 covers everyone living under my roof. There is no limit on the number of flights. And seniors pay $75. Of course, the flight isn't a guarantee. Bad weather or the donated jet needing repairs can, and does, prevent you from being flown out." – Ksan_of_Tongass

"Can't believe someone beat me to this.
A year and a half ago, I had to be medevaced to Seattle with a broken back. Price tag on the flight would have been $141,110.89...
Good thing we are a member of the air med network!" – Tedious_research

"More common than you would think. They have this same premise in rural Texas for about $25/m." – sevargmas

The Great Courses (or Wondrium)

"The Great Courses. It’s now under the umbrella of Wondrium (and they have a bunch of other stuff, but I look for the GC stuff) They have hundreds of courses. Each one has roughly 26-40 lectures. They’re the best professors in the world - the ones that students report as their favorite teachers.

My boyfriend and I always have four on Thursdays: a science, an art, a philosophy (or wild card) and a history. We’ve done classes like: botany, the analects of Confucius, The Medici’s, the physics of time, early humans and the history of food.

I’ve got a good deal with them at $10/month all I can stream. Great for lifelong learners." – Shaydie

"I bought a 2 year subscription (when it was 50% off) and never looked back. Ancient Egypt is probably the best course I've ever taken, even including courses I've taken in college. It's old (1999) and some things have been disproven since, but it's still so damn good. Now I'm watching Ancient Mesopotamia, which is also very good." – Ok-Supermarket-1414

"I’ve learned so many things from having a Wondrium subscription (and mostly the great courses ones are my favourites). I think having the streaming version of this versus buying courses has led me to learn so many more things than I would have, and try and some and find out they weren’t really for me." — Shipping_away_at_it

Mountains rising up behind a lake at sunset

Grand Tetons National Park

Photo by Nate Foong on Unsplash

National Parks Pass

"The US National Park Senior Pass. The BEST bargain in the nation." – BrunoGerace

"We toured the us in an rv this year, and the america the beautiful pass paid for itself many, many, many times over." – mushnu

"And if you're not a Senior (or Vet) the annual pass is still a deal. Visit 3 NPs or NMs in a year and it's paid for itself." – Kerensky97

"I’m canadian, I’ve seen national parks in canada, a lot of europe and the us, and it’s not even a fair contest. The national parks in america are s tier amazing sites. Diverse, well cared for yet wild, affordable, etc." – mushnu

The YMCA (though this varies a lot by location and income)

"YMCA - I pay $70 a month for a family of four and it includes use of the pool, gym, and sauna and up to four hours of childcare a day. I go nearly everyday and have lost 60 pounds over the last six months. It’s also my only childcare as a stay at home mom so it keeps me sane." – neopolitandynomite

"Came here to say this! I’m in WI and pay $82/month for my family of 7. We go 3-4 times a week, love it. Also have volunteered to coach soccer and have kids in the youth sports. Pool, hot tub and sauna is like a spa to me." – Martini6288

"My family YMCA membership (one adult + children) is $115/mo, but even so, it's totally worth it! I attend at least 3 group ex classes a week, my kids go in the kid zone, they get swim lessons, T-ball, summer camp, etc at reduced cost. It's also very convenient as we live right across the street. We attend many of their special events too (Halloween party, pumpkins in the pool, etc)." – WhJoMaShRa

AAA

"AAA or equivalent roadside service club in your respective country. A single tow costs more than your membership and it quickly pays for itself. Plus all the other discounts and affiliated services they offer, it is absolutely worth the money." – llcucf80

"Between tows and the times either I or someone I was with locked their keys in their car, it has more than paid for itself. It has been a life saver more than once." – nelsonalgrencametome

"Family car broke down on a road trip. My dad had some upper level AAA membership or something, because they covered the tow, a bus ticket for me home while they got covered in the affiliated hotel for 2 nights, along with meals." – DopeCharma

"I haven't owned a vehicle in over 6 years, up until the last two years I've had a AAA membership.

It's worth mentioning that it's not like insurance, it's your membership. I kept it because I could call them if a friend needed a tow, someone locked their keys in their car, needed gas but no way to get it, flat and no spare, doesn't matter

If you have a membership, youre present, card in hand, doesn't matter who's vehicle it is, you're golden. I even got complete strangers a tow, I wasn't gonna use them.

One time I even got my own vehicle out of an impound using AAA because the tow company was certified with AAA and it was only impounded for expired tags. I didn't pay a dime to the tow company, they just got more from me requesting the tow through AAA to an auto shop

Amazing service, 100% worth every penny." – drklunk

front view of a costco store

Costco can save you on a lot more than just chicken.

Photo by Grant Beirute on Unsplash

Costco

"Costco… For the chicken and food court alone it is worth it." – Peach3ater

"Even if you ONLY buy allergy med from Costco, it’s worth the membership fee. $70 membership + $14 bottle of 365 allergy pills is basically 2-3 months max of Claritin or other brands at regular grocery store." – the_bio

"For me it's my contacts. Just my regular prescription for a year is more of a discount at costco vs 1800contacts than the membership costs." – MRoad

"There are so many things it can save you $10 a month on. It’s insane. My wife and I probably save $120 a month on everything from bulkier groceries/snacks, paper towels/toilet paper, laundry detergent, some clothes, tires and gas. We don’t even drink soda or have pets, both of which can more than pay for a membership. We live an hour away and factor our time/wear and tear on the car into how much it saves us. $120 a month easily even on a light month." – sevseg_decoder

Spotify Premium

"I've had Spotify premium since 2011 and I listen to it all day every day. Best value subscription." – Breakfast_1796

"Undoubtedly this, especially compared to what you used to have to spend on physical media. Even then, you’d be stuck with the same handful of albums with one good track instead of nearly every song ever recorded." – Chewie83

"Sometimes I imagine explaining Spotify to my 16-year-old self. "So for about the price of a single CD a month... You can have all the music ever, on demand. All of it, Whenever you want..." It's honestly a dream come true for me lol." – DAFUQ404

"I've had the spotify family plan since like 2015 or so. 15/month for 6 people? Yes please!!! I'd be paying 10 just for me to have premium. Now my fiancée, my adult children, my bestie, and her husband all have a quality music service." – eyemacwgrl

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Joy

5 small things that made us smile this week

Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s a sweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends at All In), or a dad joke so epic you'll hurt your eyes from rolling them so hard. These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress—and this week, in honor of Father's Day, it's dad-themed.

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1.The "soulmated so hard" trend

@breezeb3a

I’ll never recover from losing you 💓

♬ The Winner Is... Version - DeVotchKa

This is a TikTok trend that’s both wholesome and, at times, actually jaw-dropping. The premise is this: Pets can be our soulmates, and sometimes we “soulmate” so hard that our pets leave a lifelong impression on us. This trend has people showing how big of an impression their pets have made on them, even after they’ve crossed the rainbow bridge. In one video, user Brianna Kay shares an ultrasound of her baby with what looks like the outline of her dog kissing the baby on the forehead. In another video, an owner asks her soulmate cat to send her a sign from beyond the grave that she is at peace. The response (here) will shock you.

2. Dudes getting flowers

Why is it that men (traditionally speaking) are the ones who give flowers, and not usually the ones who get them? We don’t have a good answer for that, but it’s clearly time to flip the script. This week, our friends from All In are hitting the streets of New York and delivering bouquets to men, and they are absolutely loving it. Let’s make this a regular thing.

3. A new grandpa gets good news  

@ellelauricella In my feels today remembering my dad’s reaction to meeting my baby ❤️ We named his middle name after my father and kept it a surprise my whole pregnancy. This was one of the happiest moments of my whole life. #postpartum #dad #dadsoftiktok #dadanddaughter #grandson #firstgrandbaby #birthvlog #hospitalbirth #momsoftiktok #fyp #firsttimemom ♬ Stuff We Did (from 'Up') - Piano Version - your movie soundtrack

Just in time for Father's Day! There’s almost no better way to honor your dad than naming a new baby after him, which is exactly what happens in this video. It’s almost impossible not to cry (happy tears!) seeing this new grandpa learn the good news from his daughter, who’s already weepy from postpartum hormones. (We’re not crying, you’re crying.)

4. Dad's loving dogs

@aubree.avery I had to make a PowerPoint to convice my parents to let me get her & now she is four years old and my parents beg me everyday to let them keep her. #dogmom #doodle #doodlesoftiktok #dogs ♬ Kiss me Sixpence None The Richer - whitelinesprettybabyy

Speaking of adorable dads: It seems like there’s this universal experience where when someone brings a pet into a household, the dad of the household will refuse to bond with it (at least at first). TikTok has latched on to this truth and is now flipping the script, showcasing dads who initially refused to accept the family pet and are now treating it like their precious firstborn. Search “dads and the dog they didn’t want” on TikTok and you’ll find some hilarious examples (like this dad, testing every couch inside a furniture store to make sure he’s able to adequately rub the dog’s belly from his seat on the sofa).

5. A dog who just cannot handle a prank 

@haleyandthepets spoiler bro got mad instantly #foryou #foryoupage #dogs #fyp #dunkindadawg #viral ♬ snoopy von - joro.mixes

We can never share enough dog content, right? (That was a rhetorical question, because the answer is of course not.) Dogs are adorable. They’re hilarious. And they have some very strong feelings. In this video, one easygoing dog gets his “nose stolen” as a prank, and every time he finds out, he shows his owner that he is absolutely not having it. Give that baby her nose back!

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Pop Culture

Brit shares the one-word 'dead giveaway' that American actors can't do an English accent

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American."

via Warner Bros Discovery

Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones"?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Holmes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady"). Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British. Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.


@benedicttown The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent
♬ original sound - Benedict Townsend

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.


What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added. "I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.


What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or "There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.” For example, a person from New Jersey would pronounce cot and catch it as "caht" and "cawt," while someone from Los Angeles may pronounce them as "caht" and "caht."

To get a better idea of the big difference in how "caught" and "cot" are pronounced in the U.S., you can take a look at the educational video below, produced for a college course on linguistics.


- YouTubeyoutu.be

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. For some actors, it could mean the difference between a great performance and one that has people scratching their heads. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

actors
Family

How Father's Day began when a tireless young woman honored her Civil War veteran single dad

The last living descendent of Sonora Smart Dodd is finally sharing the incredible story.

Images via MyHeritage

Sonora Smart Dodd and a painting of her father, William Jackson Smart

Father's Day falls on Sunday, June 15 this year. The holiday will see families gathered together to honor and celebrate father figures in all forms, from grandfathers to stepdads and 'chosen' dads. And the origin of Father's Day has a deep connection to American history and single dads.

It's a story that begins in Spokane, Washington in 1909, with a young woman named Sonora Smart Dodd. It's an important tale in American history that was uncovered by the researcher Naama Lanski and her team at MyHeritage.com (an online genealogy platform)—who reached out to Sonora’s great-granddaughter and the last living direct heir, Betsy Roddy—as well as researched historical documents and records from the time period.

Dodd was listening to a church sermon on Mother's Day when it struck her: "Why isn’t there a Father’s Day?" Her father, a Civil War veteran named William Jackson Smart, deserved to be honored.

Sonora Smart Dodd, father's day, founder of father's day, father's day holiday, father's day storyPhoto of Sonora Smart Dodd.Courtesy of MyHeritage

Betsy Roddy tells Upworthy that after Sonora's mother's death in 1898 (when she was just 16), William Jackson Smart raised her and her five younger brothers on his own—something that bucked cultural tradition at the time.

"Rather than pass his children off to relatives, he chose to keep them at home and serve as mother and father for 6 young children," she says.

After Sonora approached her pastor about establishing a Father's Day, her vision came to fruition in 1910 when the inaugural Father's Day was held.

William Jackson Smart, civil war, civil war veteran, father's day, fathers dayDrawing of William Jackson Smart.Courtesy of MyHeritage

"It took a year, but she petitioned the ministerial alliance and YWCA in Spokane," Roddy tells Upworthy. "It was a simple celebration city-wide, and Father's Day was proclaimed by the local government. They handed out red and white roses—red to living fathers and white for fathers who had passed. It became official symbol of Father's Day."

The holiday quickly went nationwide, but it would be another 60+ years until it was recognized by the United States federal government. Dodd petitioned and lobbied for Father's Day to become a national holiday.

"She worked pretty tirelessly to push the concept forward," adds Roddy.

Finally, in 1972 under President Richard Nixon, the third Sunday in June was officially proclaimed Father's Day and signed into law. Dodd was 90 years old, alive and well and able to see her tireless work pay off.

Roddy was able to develop a relationship with her great-grandmother before she passed away at 96.

"My great-grandmothers stuck to the idea and vision of this being a national holiday. She fearlessly took on something much bigger than herself, before women had the right to vote," says Roddy. "It's easy to lose sight of that in context of today's world. She took on something women didn't do that was incredibly courageous. It's also a story of a woman's courage. To hold fast to an idea and see it through is a lesson for all of us. It's not just my great-grandma's legacy, it's an American story and legacy."

Adds Lanski, " At a time when parenthood was seen almost exclusively through a maternal lens, she championed the vital role of fathers and fatherhood - shaped by her own experience being raised by a dedicated and proud single father."

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Movies

The real-life love story of Maria and Georg Von Trapp we didn't see in 'The Sound of Music'

"I really and truly was not in love."

Photo credit: Public domain

Maria Von Trapp was not in love with Georg when they got married, but that changed.

The Sound of Music has been beloved for generations, partially for the music (and Julie Andrews' angelic voice), partially for the historical storyline, and partially for the love story between Maria and Georg Von Trapp. The idea of a nun-in-training softening the heart of a curmudgeonly widower, falling in love with him, and ultimately becoming a big, happy family is just an irresistible love story.

But it turns out the real love story behind their union is even more fascinating.

maria von trapp, georg von trapp, the sound of music, love story, historyMaria Von Trapp (left) was played by Julie Andrews and her husband Georg was played by Christopher Plummer in "The Sound of Music."Photo credit: Public domain

The National Archives has collected information about what's fact and what's fiction in The Sound of Music, which is based on a real family in Austria named Von Trapp. The film was generally based on the first section of Maria Von Trapp's 1949 autobiography, The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, with some of the details being true and others fictionalized for a movie audience.

For instance, Maria was actually hired on as a tutor for just one of Georg's children, not as a governess for all of them. The children, whose names, ages and sexes were changed, were already musically inclined before Maria arrived. Georg was not the cold, grumpy dad he was portrayed as in the beginning of the film, but rather a warm and involved parent who enjoyed making music with his kids. Maria and Georg were married 11 years before leaving Austria, not right before the Nazi takeover. The Von Trapps left by train, not in a secret excursion over the mountains.

But perhaps the most intriguing detail? Maria was not in love with Georg at all when they got married.

gif, the sound of music, von trapp family, movie, true eventsSound Of Music Flag GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy

It doesn't initially make for a great Hollywood romance, but the Von Trapp love story began with marriage for other reasons and evolved into a genuine love story. Maria wrote that she fell in love with Georg's children at first sight, but she wasn't sure about leaving her religious calling when Georg asked her to marry him. The nuns urged her to do God's will and marry him, but for Maria it was all about the children, not him. When Georg proposed, he asked her to stay with him and become a second mother to his children. "God must have made him word it that way," Maria wrote, "because if he had only asked me to marry him I might not have said yes."

"I really and truly was not in love," she wrote. "I liked him but didn't love him. However, I loved the children, so in a way I really married the children."

However, she shared that her feelings for Georg changed over time. "…[B]y and by I learned to love him more than I have ever loved before or after."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The idea of marrying someone you don't love is antithetical to every romantic notion our society celebrates, yet the evolution of Maria's love for Georg has been a common occurrence across many cultures throughout history. Romantic love was not always the primary impetus for marriage. It was more often an economic proposition and communal arrangement that united families and peoples, formed the basis of alliances, and enabled individuals to rise through social ranks. Some cultures still practice arranged marriage, which limited research has found has outcomes identical to love-first marriage in reports of passionate love, companionate love, satisfaction, and commitment. The idea of marrying someone you don't already love is anathema to modern Western sensibilities, but the reality is that people have married over the centuries for many reasons, only one of which is falling in love.

Maria's marriage to Georg actually was about falling in love, but not with him. She loved his children and wanted to be with them. It definitely helped that she liked the guy, but she wasn't swept off her feet by him, there were no moonlit confessions of love a la "Something Good," and their happily ever after love story didn't come until much later.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Ultimately, Maria and Georg's love story was one for the ages, just not one that fits the Hollywood film trope. And it's a compelling reminder that our unwritten rules and social norms determining what love and marriage should look like aren't set in stone. Do marriages for reasons other than love always evolve into genuine love? No. Do marriages based on falling in love first always last? Also no. Should a marriage that starts with "like" and develops into to a genuine, deep love over years be considered "true love" in the way we usually think of it? Who can say? Lots to ponder over in this love story.

But Maria's description of learning "to love him more than I have ever loved before or after" is a pretty high bar, so clearly it worked for them. The Von Trapps were married for 20 years and had three more children together before Georg died of lung cancer in 1947. Maria would live another four decades and never remarried. She died in 1987 at age 82 and is buried next to Georg on the family's property in Vermont.

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Humor

People are sharing quotes from their favorite comedians. These 23 are pure gold.

"I haven't slept for 10 days, because that would be too long."

via Bonnie/Wikimedia Commons, Alan Gastelum/Wikimedia Commons, Underbelly Limited/Wikimedia Commons
Comedians George Carlin, Jim Gaffigan and Joan Rivers

Laughter really is the best medicine, and there are a lot of ways to get your daily dose. You can rewatch an old funny movie that's been proven to get the job done, listen to a hilarious podcast, or goof around with friends. Maybe the most efficient way to really get yourself rolling, though, is to take in some stand-up comedy.

And while it feels like the true heyday of stand-up is over — the days of George Carlin and Richard Pryror — the truth is that stand-up is more popular than ever. That's thanks, in part, to Netflix, which drives millions of viewers to featured comedy acts, who then go on to sell out huge theaters for their shows.

Comedy is powerful, necessary, and relevant. In fact, Oscar Wilde once said, "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you."

A Reddit user recently posed a great question on the AskReddit subforum: “What is a quote from a comedian you'll never forget?”

The post quickly went viral, receiving over 10,700 responses on the first day. Of the countless comedians mentioned in the thread, Norm Macdonald appears to be the most quotable.

Sadly, Macdonald died of cancer in 2021, but he was famous for his outlandish musings, delivered in a dry, deliberate tone. Macdonald is best known as a stand-up comedian, but he was also memorable on television as a cast member on "Saturday Night Live" from 1993 to 1997 and on his sitcom, “The Norm Show.” Two other deceased funnymen were often quoted in the discussion, Mitch Hedberg and George Carlin.

Hedberg’s comedy was based on short, memorable one-liners filled with absurdity. He passed away in 2005 from a drug overdose. George Carlin is often listed among the greatest stand-up comedians of all time and was a voice of the counterculture in the ‘60s and ‘70s. Later in life, his comedy evolved into a nihilistic criticism of American life that, for many, is still relevant today.

“It's called 'the American Dream' 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it,” Carlin said.

best comedians. funniest stand-up comedy, norm macdonald, george carlin, mitch hedberg, funny, laughter, comedyGeorge Carlin is considered by many to be the GOATGiphy

Here are 23 of the funniest and most poignant quotes from a comedian shared by users on the AskReddit forum.

1.

"Every time you clog a toilet, you exceeded someone’s expectations." — Unknown

2.

"Everybody thinks they're a comedian. Especially in my line of work." — Norm Macdonald

This came from Macdonald's memoir, "Based on a True Story," a must-read for Norm fans. My favorite thing about this line is that it was a sort of random throwaway, almost an afterthought, as he was expressing disdain for a doctor who told a joke and got a big laugh from everyone else in the room.

And that doctor's joke? It was Macdonald's own moth story.

best comedians. funniest stand-up comedy, norm macdonald, george carlin, mitch hedberg, funny, laughter, comedyRIP Norm MacdonaldGiphy

3.

“I’m not an adventurous person. I’ve only ever used one side of a cheese grater.” — James Acaster

4.

“I’ve started cooking with wine. That sounds so fancy, cooking with wine. What I do is I get drunk and I make rice. I tell my friends ‘come over, I’m cooking with wine.’ They come over, I’m drunk, and there’s rice everywhere.” — Kevin Nealon

5.

"What is it like to have four kids? Imagine you are drowning, and then someone hands you a baby." — Jim Gaffigan

best comedians. funniest stand-up comedy, norm macdonald, george carlin, mitch hedberg, funny, laughter, comedyJim Gaffigan, the funniest lazy dad you know.Giphy

6.

"I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread." — Mitch Hedberg


7.

“Cocaine is God's way of saying you make too much money." — Robin Williams

8.

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." — Bob Newhart

9.

“People say someone lost their battle with cancer. But if someone dies from cancer, the cancer dies too. I’d call that a draw.” — Norm MacDonald

10.

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States." — Spike Milligan

11.

"When you are on fire, and running down the street, people will get out of your way." — Richard Pryor

best comedians. funniest stand-up comedy, norm macdonald, george carlin, mitch hedberg, funny, laughter, comedyRichard Pryor: a legend.Giphy

12.

"I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic...in morse code." — Emo Phillips

13.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." — Groucho Marx

14.

"I didn't want to be Drunk in Public. I wanted to be drunk in a bar. They THREW me into public." — Ron White

15.

"I know I'm getting older, my last birthday cake looked like a prairie fire!" — Rodney Dangerfield

best comedians. funniest stand-up comedy, norm macdonald, george carlin, mitch hedberg, funny, laughter, comedyRodney Dangerfield don't get no respect.Giphy

16.

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." — George Carlin

17.

"When you got a career there ain't enough time in the world...when you got a job there's too much time." — Chris Rock

18.

"She had enough plastic surgery so that when she crossed her legs, her mouth snapped open." — Joan Rivers

19.

"Nationalism does nothing but teach you to hate people you never met, and to take pride in accomplishments you had no part in." — Doug Stanhope

20.

"I'm impulsive, but I'm also quite indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now." - Dylan Moran

21.

“So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that’s funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn’t funny.” - Mitch Hedberg

22.

"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." - Ricky Gervais


best comedians. funniest stand-up comedy, norm macdonald, george carlin, mitch hedberg, funny, laughter, comedyRicky Gervais dances in 'The Office'Giphy

23.

"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while.

Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, 'Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, 'Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.'

And we … kill those people.

'Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.'

It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride.

And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace." — Bill Hicks

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Joy

Woman reveals her fiancé's 'horribly disgusting' pillow, and oh boy, brace yourself

"I was expecting bad, but that I fear, is far far far worse."

@rutttyy01/TikTok

Can't believe she tried to clean it.

Listen, if we're in a relationship, odds are we’ve encountered some of our partner’s weird quirks. Some of those might be cute and loveable, and others might fall into cringe territory.

For Abigheal McClary, there was no question as to which category her fiancé’s truly ghastly pillow, which appeared to have been around "since the dawn of time,” fell into.

"My fiancé has a pillow that is so horribly disgusting that I fear even being in the same bed as it. I fear laying beside it, because I think I could probably catch something from it,” McClary began in a TikTok video. One might assume she’s being a bit hyperbolic (there’s always that one thing of our significant others that gives us the irrational ick, right?) but once you see this horror show of a pillow, you’ll think McClary is being merciful.

Watch:

@rutttyy01 It’s bad #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage ♬ original sound - Abigheal💅🏻

Dear god, did you even know such a horrid shade of sickly brown existed?!!

"The pillow looks like it coughs constantly,” one person wrote.

Another added, “I’ve never seen a rotten pillow."

All jokes aside—and it probably goes without saying—that this is objectively unsanitary. According to WebMd, pillows should generally be washed once or twice a year, and replaced about every two years. Pillowcases, on the other hand, should be washed weekly, unless they aren’t used nightly, so sayeth Martha Stewart. Not that this heathen uses a pillowcase at all!

Having our faces exposed to unclean pillow night after night not only puts us right in the pathway of respiratory pathogens, but also plenty of acne-causing bacteria. Although, by the grace of god, McClary said in her video that "This man has no pimples on his face laying on this thing ...I have no clue how." Honestly, neither do we. He needs to be studied.

As one person joked, “he doesn’t get pimples because he’s created a micro bioverse that’s evolved so far into the future they must feed on his dead skin cells to continue their micro society…that’s the only explanation.”

Though McClary mentioned that her fiancé wouldn’t let her wash this unsightly pillow, nor put a pillowcase on it (he apparently likes it because “it’s cool on both sides”) she must have talked some sense into him because subsequent videos show her dunking the thing into a bath, using a concoction of bleach, Shout, baking powder, and some other cleaning agents.

@rutttyy01 Pillow update : the pillows journey #fyp #foryoupage #foryou #fypシ ♬ original sound - Abigheal💅🏻

Each time, the pillow acted as a giant, heavy teabag, staining the water a murky brown.

However, as fate would have it, McClary put the pillow in a dryer after its soaking, and when she opened the door, there were nothing but shreds.

Folks rightfully guessed that the bleach used in the bath deteriorated the fabric…but in truth, we all suspect the dryer just wanted to put the pillow out of its misery.

“The dryer knew what needed to be done,” one viewer quipped.

@rutttyy01 Pillow update : Tragic # What do yall want to see next? #fyp #foryoupage #foryou #fypシ ♬ original sound - Abigheal💅🏻

Hopefully, this acts as a highly entertaining little PSA to please, please, please keep your pillows clean. Otherwise, those who share a bed with you can’t be held responsible for their actions.

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