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Mom goes on strike after teenage son said he'd be better off without her. Did she go too far?

Her mother-in-law called her "petty."

mom on strike, reddit aita, parenting

A mother with a megaphone goes on strike.

Every parent knows that sometimes their kids, especially teenagers, can say things in the heat of the moment they don’t really mean. But the mother at the center of this story took her teenage son’s outburst seriously and turned it into an opportunity to teach him a lesson. The question is, did she go too far to make a point?

A 35-year-old mom wanted to learn if she had been too hard on her 14-year-old son, so she shared her story on Reddit’s AITA subforum (we've abbreviated the forum's name to avoid printing foul language). AITA is where people vote on whether the poster was right or wrong in how they handled a situation.

“Lately, he has been acting out a little at home and school, so I decided to sit him down to try and figure out what was happening,” the mother wrote in a post that received over 800 comments. She said that the boy had been cursing out his parents as well as his teacher.


“He is my only child, and his dad and I are still together. I tried to sit him down and ask why he was acting out…but he wouldn’t budge," the mother wrote. “I asked him whether there were any issues going on at school because if there was, I would be more than happy to help him.”

But all the boy could muster was that “all 14-year-olds should act out a little.”

When the mother pressed her child for an answer, he blurted, “My life would be better if I didn’t have a mother.”

The mother was immensely hurt by her son’s words, so she decided to show him whether his life was, in fact, better without her around and she went on strike.

Spoiler alert: His life wasn’t better.

That night, the mom made dinner for herself and her husband. “When my son smelt food, he came downstairs and asked where his was,” the mom wrote. “I responded, ‘I made dinner for myself and your dad. Since life is easier without a mom, there’s some heatable food in the freezer.’”

The next day when he got up for breakfast, there was none to be found. “Where’s my breakfast?” the son asked. “Your mother would normally do that for you,” the mom responded. “But if life is easier without one, you’ll need to prepare your own breakfast. Also, take the bus to and from school.”

After “a few swears,” the teen made cereal and hopped on the school bus. The mother believes the teen may have complained about his mother’s strike to her mother-in-law, who called her, saying that she was “a horrible mother” who was “starving my child” and “being petty.”

To see if she did the right thing by going on strike, the mom posted her story to AITA, and the commenters overwhelmingly said that she was right in the situation.

"It’s not like you actually deprived him of anything," Shrimp-34 wrote in the most popular post on the thread. "He still had access to food and a way to get to school. It was definitely petty, but he wasn’t harmed in any way, and maybe sometimes you have to fight fire with fire?"

"He isn't being starved, he's 14, he can feed himself,” bahahahahahhhaha wrote in a post that received over 2,300 upvotes. “He isn't being kept home from school, he's 14, he can take the bus. [You would be wrong] if you kept this going for weeks, but doing it for a couple of days to help him realize all the things you do for him and appreciate them better is actually a really good life lesson—and its natural consequences. He doesn't want a mom? You are letting him have his wish."

A few commenters thought the mother should have taken the high road.

"I know it's hard, but you can't take that stuff personally and then retaliate like a teenager," Turbulent_Cow2355 wrote. "You have to model the behavior that you want to see in your kids, and that means taking the higher road, even when don't want to. You are being petty. Don't teach your child that pettiness is a good idea for conflict resolution."

The good news is that the mother and son were able to patch things up, and the teen’s realization helped him avoid further trouble.

“My son had a half day, so I texted him asking if he would like me to pick him up or the bus,” the mom wrote in a story update. “He texted back, saying he wanted me to get him. So I did. In the car, he immediately apologized for what he said, and he said that his friends were acting out, so he wanted to fit in. His friends got suspended today for something they did, and they wanted my son to join. My son did not, and he said he was sorry for how he was acting. I also apologized for my actions.”

Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


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