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Gorgeous 3-part harmony got 'The Voice' judges to hit their buttons within 7 seconds

They had the judges' attention right from the first bar of "Made You Look."

three women singing on The Voice

OK3 wowed everyone with their powerful voices.

The way our brains react to musical harmony is fascinating. When notes are off, the blending of different tones is grating and unpleasant. But when a harmony hits just right, it's a like a sweet celebration for our senses.

That's why, when OK3 sang the opening bar of Meghan Trainor's "Made You Look" in their debut performance on NBC's "The Voice," three of the four judges hit the button to turn their chair around within a remarkable 7 seconds. The women's three-part harmony was powerful throughout the whole song, but their pitch perfect opening was the epitome of attention-grabbing.

The way "The Voice" works is four celebrity judges first hear singers in a blind audition, where their chairs are turned around so they can't see the performers—they can only hear them. Then, if they like what they hear, they push their big red button and turn their chair around, indicating they want that performer on their coaching team. Ultimately, the judges compete along with the singers to have their chosen performers come out on top. When multiple judges turn their chairs, the performer gets to choose whose team they want to be on.

Usually, it takes longer than a few seconds of listening to a singer (or singers) perform for judges to start turning their chairs around, but in this case, it was almost immediate for three out of the four judges. And even the one holdout, Chance the Rapper, eventually hit his button as well, giving OK3 the coveted four-chair turn.

Watch:

The trio brought their vocal coach, who was the one who brought them together in the first place, and the judges encouraged them to consult her to make their decision about whose team they would be on.

Judge John Legend made a case for himself first.

“I loved your performance. ... I grew up arranging songs for groups, and then, when I went to college, I was an award-winning a cappella arranger," Legend said. "If there’s nothing else that I do, I do this." He also added that he thinks "there's a lot of space for a big pop girl group right now."

Country duo judges Dan + Shay made a strong pitch as well, as they literally do harmonies themselves. And Reba McIntyre not only shares roots with the women being from Oklahoma herself, but she also pulled out her Grammy and a box of chicken nuggets, so it's definitely going to be a tough choice.

The sneak preview clip didn't show who the group chose, and neither did the season premiere that aired on February 26, 2024. The episode ended on a cliffhanger, so the choice will be revealed on February 27.

What a standout performance for these young women, Sierra Sikes, 23, Kenna Fields, 22, and Courtney Hooker, 25. Their journey on "The Voice" is sure to be a life-changing experience, if not a career-making one.

You can follow "The Voice" on YouTube.

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids.

The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase:

"When are you bringing them over?"

Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

Pets

Five reasons rabbits make the best indoor pets

They do cute things with cute names, like "zoomies," "binkies" and "flops."

Bunnies make amazing indoor pets.

Our family has gone through a passel of pets while raising our kids.

We started with a goldfish named Princess (who lived a surprisingly long life for a feeder fish we got at a festival). We've had several pairs of fancy rats, which really do make sweet, personable pets. We got our first cat when we moved to a place that allowed them, which as a lifelong cat person I was excited about. Then added a feline friend for him a couple of years later.

Finally, several years ago, two of our kids got rabbits. And honestly? If we had known how awesome bunnies can be as indoor pets, we would have skipped the fish and the rats—maybe even the cats—and never looked back.


The fish was interesting to look at. The rats were sweet and cute. (If you've never seen a pet rat wash its face or eat a Cheerio, you're missing out.) Rats themselves are clean, but their cages get smelly pretty fast. The cats are great—again, always been a cat person—but ours are indoor only and the catbox situation is … less than desirable. They've also destroyed several pieces of furniture with their claws. Good thing they're so entertaining and lovable.

But the rabbits have surprised me by having a leg up on all the other pets we've had. Here's why:

1. They can be litterbox trained—and it's way less stinky than a cat's litterbox.

Photo by Li Yan on Unsplash

I had no idea that rabbits could be litter trained.

Rats can allegedly be litter trained as well, but we never had any luck with that with any of our pet rats. And cats are easy to litter train, of course, but cat pee and poo are smelly. It takes super expensive litter to cover cat pee ammonia smell, and if a kid waits too long to change the litter it's … noticeable.

Rabbit pee doesn't stink. I don't know how, but it doesn't. It barely has much of a smell at all, and the smell is just sort of "earthy." Same with rabbit poop. It's basically just digested hay, and it's little dry-ish pellets that pick up easily. We often joke that it's like picking up a Cocoa Puff, not that we have to pick up a lot of it because they generally keep it all inside their litterboxes.

It took less than a week for each of our rabbits to start using their litterboxes consistently. And their "litter" is just paper. Super easy to clean out their boxes, and again, super not smelly.

2. They're adorable and unbelievably soft.

Photo by Степан Галагаев on Unsplash

Bunny fur is so soft it's unreal. The only thing I've ever felt that was softer was chinchilla fur. They do shed sometimes, so there's a vacuuming element to having rabbits, much like there is with cats and dogs. Totally worth it, though.

There are a bazillion different rabbit breeds out there, with different-sized bodies, different fur types, different ear types and so on. But most of them are so darn cute. The way they twitch their little noses all the time? Precious. Their little bunny butts with their little bunny tails? Forget about it. I thought watching a rat wash its face was cute, but bunny face and ear washing is even better.

And eating lettuce? The little crunchy-munchy sounds they make? Gracious.

The number of "Awwww, he's so cuuuute!" around here rivals when we had a newborn baby.

3. They do cute things with cute names like zoomies, binkies and flops.

Not only do rabbits do the cutest things, but the cute things they do also have the cutest names, such a:

Zoomies: When a rabbit gets a sudden burst of energy and starts racing around the room, it's called a "zoomy."

Binkies: When rabbits are happy, they'll do a sudden, twitchy jump for joy, where they leap up in the air and sort of shimmy their body really fast. It's my favorite thing. They do it out of nowhere, like their joy just overtakes them all of a sudden and they can't help themselves. (Watch some bunny binkying above and witness the cuteness.)

Flops: When rabbits feel safe and content, they just flop over onto their side. Again, out of nowhere. You might almost think they fainted or died, but no, they just "flopped."

I genuinely had no idea rabbits had such personalities. I'd only ever seen them in hutches or cages just sort of laying around, but when they are able to roam around, they're delightfully entertaining.

4. They can be surprisingly smart—and fearless.

Photo by William Daigneault on Unsplash

Wild rabbits are skitterish, so I expected our pet rabbits to be similar. Nope. Our bunnies can get spooked by loud noises, but they're not at all afraid of people. They're not even afraid of our cats. They'll run right up to people and constantly try to get the cats to play with them. It's hilarious.

And maybe it's just our rabbits, but they're surprisingly smart. My son's rabbit kept getting out of his enclosure, and it took us a while to figure out how he did it because he'd only do it when no one was in the room.

You can also train them to do little tricks, like running around in a circle or jumping through a hoop. My kids have trained the rabbits to jump over their legs when they're sitting, and all my daughter has to do is flick her finger and her rabbit will spin around for a treat.

5. They're pretty low-maintenance as furry pets go.

Photo by Aneta Voborilova on Unsplash

I don't want to oversimplify what it takes to have a bunny as a pet, and there are some downsides I'll share in a moment. But as far as loveable, furry creatures go, rabbits are pretty low-maintenance. They eat hay and food pellets and fresh vegetables, they drink water either from a bowl or a water dispenser, and they need things they can chew on. There aren't vaccines for pet rabbits in the U.S., so no need to keep up with those. They need their claws trimmed once in a while. And that's about it.

So what are the downsides?

Chewing. The main downside with our two bunnies is that one of them is a major chewer. All rabbits like to chew, but if you give them enough things that are safe for them to chew on, they're less likely to chew things you don't want them to. But rabbit teeth are like razors and our chewer is particularly partial to cords—phone chargers, lamp cords, any type of cord really. He somehow manages to chew through pet-proof cord protectors as well, so he doesn't get to roam around freely without a close watch on him like our other rabbit does.

Space is another issue if you can't let them roam freely. Creating an enclosure large enough for them to run around in requires space that not everyone has. Our "free-roaming" bunny doesn't even have a cage—he just roams around my daughter's room and has a little linoleumed area where his litter box and food go. (Unlike cats, rabbits actually like to have their food near their litterboxes.) Like all animals, rabbits need exercise to stay healthy so it's not great for them to stay in small hutches or cages all the time.

Finally, as the Humane Society of the United States points out, they're not great for families with very young children. I'd wait until kids are old enough to understand how to handle them gently (they are more delicate than cats or dogs) and not make a lot of startling noises around them.

That's really about it. As I said, if I had known the cost-benefit ratio of having rabbits as indoor pets, we would have started the kids off with them as pets from the get-go. In some ways, they're even preferable to the cats—and coming from a lifelong cat person, that's really saying something.


This article originally appeared on 3.17.22

A guy having a collaborative conversation.

The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.

Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion.

Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.


How to have a constructive conversation

Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.

The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsPeople coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos

When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.

It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.

Phrases you can use to avoid an argument

The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”

Here are some other phrases you can use:

“I wonder if…”

“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”

“I might be wrong, but…”

“How funny! I had a different reaction…”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”

“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsTwo men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos

What's the best way to disagree with people?

A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.

“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.

In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.

Some important regulation going on here.

What is a glimmer? No I’m not talking about "Twilight" vampires or the princess from my favorite Netflix cartoon.

Glimmering is the opposite of a trigger. A word we’ve all become very familiar with.

Where triggers tighten our stomachs, make it hard to breath and generally signal danger (even when no danger is present), a glimmer gives us a sigh of relief, helping us to feel safe and secure. And though both terms were identified by psychologist Deb Dana in her book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy,” most of us have only been taught to find what triggers us in life. Because, well, we have to survive before we can thrive.

But thanks to TikTok savvy therapists such as Dr. Justine, glimmers have taken on new life and people are excited to learn about the concept. You could say that finding new ways to reclaim hope is indeed going viral.


In a video that has now been viewed over 78,000 times, Dr. Justine breaks down the glimmer basics.

@heydrjustine Glimmers✨ are the opposite of triggers. #AVrboForTogether #SoFiBreakUpChallenge #AlaskaAirCAREoke #anxietyrelief #nervoussystem #traumahealing ♬ New Home - Austin Farwell

“Glimmers are anything that sparks a sense of joy, awe, or belongingness. It can be noticing the warmth of the sun, something beautiful around you, or seeing a kind face,” her caption reads.

If this sounds enticing to you, you’re not alone. One person—clearly eager to find their own sparks of joy—wrote, “ugh yes love glimmer hunting.”

Which begs the question: How can we form a glimmer hunting group?

“Purposely noticing glimmers allows you to tap into micro moments on Ventral Vagal energy (a state of groundedness and connectedness),” Dr. Justine continues.

The vagus nerve carries messages from our brain to other parts of our body. It’s what sends you into flight-or-fight mode when there’s a perceived threat. Mine happens to go on the fritz anytime I’m riding in the passenger seat. And I mean every time. My shoulders go up to my ears, everything appears to move chaotically and I can’t resist the urge to hold onto the grab handle for dear life. It doesn't matter who’s driving. It always feels like I'm careening down the fast lane toward my doom. That’s the vagus nerve, doing vagus nervy things.

However, that same nerve can stimulate a completely different sensation: calm. Yes, our bodies are quite literally a walking bundle of contradictions. But we can use that to our advantage by finding the glimmers.

The glimmers we find can be simple. A walk in nature, pet cuddles, our favorite song. Even the smallest, most fleeting moments can help activate our vagus nerve to send a signal to our body that says, “Hey, we can relax, everything is perfectly OK right now.”

And the best part is: By holding onto these feelings for at least 30 seconds, we can teach our brains to consistently retain positive thoughts. Or, as Dr. Justine puts it, “turn that glimmer into a glow.”

“This is my first time hearing this word and ima hold on tight to it,” one person commented, ready for their glow up.

Dr. Justine adds “doing this purposefully is important because humans have a negativity bias towards scanning for threats/danger (especially after trauma).”

We are already hardwired to scan for the negative. Again, survival trumps all. But after a traumatic event, our drive to protect ourselves is even more hypervigilant. And yet, safety cues are just as important as danger cues. Regulation is just as vital to our health and stimulation. Balance is often the foundation to our well-being.

“This is fascinating, scientifically supporting the old saying about stopping to smell the roses,” one person noticed.

After watching Dr. Justine’s video, people started sharing their own glimmers. Three rainbows. The smell of lavender. The cracking of creme brulee. A hit of fresh air. Small things that still managed to light folks up in a big way. This is what glimmering is all about. It was a very happy comment section.

If geeking out on science is a form of glimmering for you, you could always read Deb Dana’s book. Or you could check out Dr. Justine’s TikTok for more bite-sized information. Or hey, just go back to basics and smell the roses. There doesn’t seem to be a wrong way to glimmer. What matters is knowing it can dramatically change your mental health.


This article originally appeared on 3.24.22

This dad exemplifies stellar parenting.

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to help your kids learn from life experiences. Some lessons they learn naturally and others they learn through parental guidance, but discerning which is which and how those things overlap can be challenging.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals, of course, but sometimes we see examples of great parenting we can point to and say, "AHA! That's how it's done."

One such example comes from a dad named Robert. He's been teaching his 5-year-old daughter Aubrin to skateboard and set up a mini half pipe for her to learn on. In a video on Instagram, Robert shared his interchanges with Aubrin after she crashed hard on the ramp during a lesson.


It's a sweet video that doubles as a masterclass in effective parenting. Robert communicates with a perfect blend of empathy, encouragement and empowerment, which gives his daughter exactly what she needs to tackle her fears and persevere in what she wants to do.

Even his initial question after she fell—"Did it scare you or did it hurt you?"—is helpful for making her more aware of what she's actually feeling as well as knowing how best to help her.

Seeing this gentle parenting scenario play out is just so heartwarming. (And if Aubrin's voice sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral "stuckasaurus" video in which she offered delightful color commentary while snowboarding in a dinosaur suit.)

Watch:

Robert explained his thinking behind the way he responded to Aubrin's fall:

"Trying something new can be scary but re-trying something after slamming can be terrifying.

I had to re-gain her trust and she needed to re-establish her confidence after this slam and it was a tough but beautiful rollercoaster experience.

This is one of the biggest psychological battles we face as humans, because once that negative experience has made its home in our brain it’s very hard to get it out.

I know from intense personal experience that a bad fall can have long lasting [psychological] effects and truly believe, that when possible, it’s best to get back up and try it again with the goal being to end the session with a positive experience; to not have that negative memory ruminating in your head until the next time you return to try.

I’ve been asked a lot 'How do you know what to say in these moments?' and the truth is I absolutely don’t know what to say.

Seeing her slam sucks the air out of my lungs and my heart drops but I just try to stay calm and redirect with some questions or comments while surveying the situation. A parent's emotions (depending on how you instinctively react) will oftentimes influence the child’s emotional response and it’s my goal to remove my influence and allow her to just be, to feel, to hurt at her pace and it allows me to get a better reading of how she’s truly feeling in these pivotal moments.

Ultimately I just respond from the heart. If you calmly lead with empathy and support without applying pressure you’ll do just fine."

Beautiful insight and advice. Unfortunately, many parents are raising kids while working through wounds from their own childhoods, and when you're battling parental instincts that aren't particularly healthy or helpful, having it all laid out like this is really valuable. Commenters on Instagram and Reddit have expressed how much they appreciate seeing supportive parenting in action.

"I actually got emotional watching this..." wrote one person. "I am learning so much from your posts!!! As someone whose parents led from a place of fear a lot of the time, this is showing me so much possibility of what the opposite can look like. Thank you for being so open, we are all made the better from it."

"I wish I had a dad like you growing up. She’s so lucky," wrote another.

"Made me smile and also as a grown ass man, gave me watery eyes - as someone that never had this kind of treatment growing up and kind of needed it - this is the kind of dad I will be if I ever meet someone and have kids," shared another.

Whether we were raised by gentle, supportive parents or the opposite, we can all recognize effective parenting when we see it. Thank you, Robert, for sharing such a stellar example we can all watch and learn from.

You can follow Robert and Aubrin's family adventures on Instagram (@chasing.sage).


This article originally appeared on 8.12.22