A mental health professional makes a strong argument against diagnosing Trump.

‘Bad behavior is rarely a sign of mental illness, and the mentally ill behave badly only rarely.’

Donald Trump is a narcissist and everybody knows it — at least in the colloquial sense of the term.

The 45th president of the United States built his brand on being self-absorbed, self-obsessed. He’s the type of man who’s spent the better part of the past several decades living in a gold tower with his name emblazoned on the outside. He’s put his name on everything from steaks to board games to vodka. He’s a real-life Narcissus, gazing into his own reflection. He is pride, he is arrogance, he is vanity.

To untrained observers, he’s the embodiment of narcissistic personality disorder. And yet, at least one man thinks that we’re not giving Trump enough credit — and he’s perhaps one of the most qualified people to make that assessment.


Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

In a letter to The New York Times, Professor Allen Frances — who literally wrote the book the subject — offered a defense of Trump against claims that the president has narcissistic personality disorder.

The letter, titled “An Eminent Psychiatrist Demurs on Trump’s Mental State,” came in response to a letter the previous day signed by 33 mental health professionals who called for a lift on the American Psychiatric Association’s 1973 Goldwater Rule against evaluating public figures. That letter argued that Trump suffers from a “personal myth of greatness” and “grave emotional instability” that makes him mentally unfit to serve as president.

In his letter in response, Frances explains that he personally wrote the criteria that defines narcissistic personality disorder as part of the team that wrote the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV (DSM-IV), and that Trump simply does not meet that criteria.

“He may be a world-class narcissist, but this doesn’t make him mentally ill, because he does not suffer from the distress and impairment required to diagnose mental disorder,” wrote Frances.

Allen Frances. Photo by Angelika Warmuth/picture-alliance/dpa/AP Images.

Frances cautions that by diagnosing Trump with NPD, or any other form of mental illness, from afar, we risk further stigmatizing people who live with mental illness.

“Mr. Trump causes severe distress rather than experiencing it and has been richly rewarded, rather than punished, for his grandiosity, self-absorption and lack of empathy. It is a stigmatizing insult to the mentally ill (who are mostly well behaved and well meaning) to be lumped with Mr. Trump (who is neither),” wrote Frances.

“Bad behavior is rarely a sign of mental illness, and the mentally ill behave badly only rarely.”

“Bad behavior is rarely a sign of mental illness, and the mentally ill behave badly only rarely. Psychiatric name-calling is a misguided way of countering Mr. Trump’s attack on democracy. He can, and should, be appropriately denounced for his ignorance, incompetence, impulsivity and pursuit of dictatorial powers.”

Psychoanalyzing Trump won’t do anything to put a stop to what Frances calls “a dystopic Trumpean dark age.” The solution, he argues, “is political, not psychological.”

Donald Trump greets supporters after a rally in Mobile, Alabama, in 2015. Photo by Mark Wallheiser/Getty Images.

Stigma remains a big issue in the mental health and disability communities. Even if Trump does have a mental illness, it’s probably not a worthwhile argument against his leadership.

David Perry, a journalist focused on disability rights, says he doesn’t see any political benefit to trying to discredit Trump on the basis of perceived mental illness. To start, Perry explains, one has to work under the presumption that there are voters who are OK with someone who demonstrates questionable behavior — like lying, bragging about sexual assault, and being prone to outbursts, and all the other criticisms people have about Trump — but who would be be dissuaded from supporting that person only on the basis of mental illness.

“Does that voter exist?” Perry asks. “If so, isn’t that a perfect example of using stigma — against ‘crazy’ people — to gain political advantage? It’s possible that voter does exist, since such stigma is pretty pervasive, but I’m skeptical that Trump supporters are capable of being persuaded by anyone’s internet diagnosis anyway.”

Photo by Isaac Brekken/Getty Images.

Mental illness affects people all around us. That doesn’t make them, as Trump might call them, “bad hombres.”

“So I get it. … We’re going to speculate,” says Perry. “But every person I know who has a mental disability finds that speculation painful, because it suggests that you might expect them to behave like Trump due to their diagnosis. So that matters to me.”

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, roughly 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness in any given year. That’s more than 43 million people. The problem, though, when it comes to mental illness, is that shame and stigma prevent many people from seeking care in a timely fashion. The truth is that when treated — whether that’s with talk therapy, medication, exercise, diet, or something else — most forms of mental illness are pretty manageable.

Stigma makes seeking help a scarier process than it needs to be, so can we all agree not to add to it by trying to diagnose Trump from afar?

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

  • Historian debunks the notion that grief in ‘Hamnet’ was portrayed unrealistically for the time
    Were medieval parents less attached to their children?Photo credit: Living History by Dr Julia Martins/YouTube

    The majority of parents today have never known the pain of losing a child. Sadly, that was not the case throughout history. Before the 20th century, many parents could expect one or more of their children to die before reaching adulthood, usually due to infectious disease.

    As in the book it was based on, the film adaptation of Hamnet centers on parental grief. Even if you haven’t seen the movie, there’s a good chance you’ve seen the tear-streaked aftermath of others who have.

    Jessie Buckley’s Oscar-winning performance as a grieving mother wrecked audiences far and wide. Her improvised, guttural scream after her child’s death went straight to the heart. Her calling the scream “ancient” couldn’t feel more accurate.

    @screenplayed

    Jessie Buckley talks about this moment in Hamnet wasn’t in the script. It came up on the day. Buckley is nominated for an Academy Award for her performance. What do you think of the film? 🎥 #hamnet #jessiebuckley #academyawards #oscars #filmtok

    ♬ original sound – Screenplayed

    However, some people have questioned whether the film’s intense portrayal of grief is realistic for the time period. Naturally, we would expect a child’s death to devastate a parent today. But was that the case historically? Did parents mourn the loss of a child as hard or as long when nearly half of children died? Would knowing you were likely to lose a child, or multiple children, make their deaths easier to handle?

    The idea that parents hundreds of years ago weren’t as emotionally attached to their kids isn’t new, even in academic circles. Dr. Julia Martins, a historian, explored the debate in a YouTube video titled “Did They Love Their Children? The History of Grief.”

    It began with French historian Philippe Ariès, who published a book in 1960 about childhood through the centuries.

    “Ariès argued that the concept of childhood as a distinct, protected phase of life is a modern invention that only emerged around the 17th century,” Martins said. “Children were understood as mini adults and, from the time they were around seven, they mixed with the adult world. He suggested that, because of the incredibly high infant mortality, parents were forced to be emotionally distant and not get too attached to their children, who might not live to see their first birthday. This indifference would be a defense mechanism. Expecting to lose half the children you had would make you not as emotionally invested in them.”

    In his 1977 book The Family, Sex and Marriage in England 1500–1800, historian Lawrence Stone also posited that colder, more pragmatic family relationships were the norm. In his assessment, the affectionate, loving bonds we associate with family today developed late in our history.

    However, by the 1980s, historians began to question this idea. Martins pointed out that Ariès relied on paintings from the past to draw his conclusions.

    For her 1983 book Forgotten Children, historian Linda Pollock focused her research on diaries and autobiographies from the 16th to 19th centuries. She argued that parents have always had intense love for their children and felt a deep sense of loss when they died.

    Martins’ own examination of the historical record has led her to the same conclusion. The difference, she suggested, lies in how parents coped with the pain of losing a child.

    “We forget how deeply religious early modern Europe was,” Martins said. “Could this indifference be religious resignation, instead of lack of affection? In a world where people understood death as God’s will, parents might console themselves thinking things like ‘The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away.’ That doesn’t mean they weren’t grieving, but rather that they were focusing on the child being in heaven and accepting God’s will. Ariès interpreted this as a lack of feeling. But you could argue that this was a coping strategy for deep pain. The grief was real; the cultural script for expressing it was different.”

    And of course, grief is and has always been an individual experience. Even in Hamnet, the parents express their grief differently, despite losing the same child.

    People in the comments on Martins’ video reiterated how historical artifacts demonstrate expressions of parental grief:

    “Sometimes I find myself thinking of the skull of the ancient Greek child with the crown of painted ceramic flowers on her head. Someone loved that child to the point that they couldn’t bear the thought of those flowers wilting.”

    “Whenever I hear the claim that people didn’t grieve their children, I think of the ancient graves we find where children are so carefully prepared for burial, with a toy (obviously made by hand, so carrying a time cost and not quickly replaceable) buried with them. That doesn’t seem like the actions of a parent who doesn’t care.”

    “My favorite example about children always being children are ancient Egyptian ‘hot wheels’: toys shaped like a tiny chariot or wagon with wheels on it, and holes to put a string through… I can’t erase the mental image I got of an ancient Egyptian child thousands of years ago running around lugging A TOY CAR around, forgetting or breaking it and crying to parents, or being happy about getting a new one as a holiday gift, nothing really changed.”

    “Cicero was inconsolable when his daughter Tullia died. Julius Caesar, who had also lost his daughter Julia, his only child, wrote to him to offer sympathy. They had a whole correspondence on grief. Cicero built a temple (lost today) to the memory of his daughter. The idea that parents from the past did not care is ludicrous.”

    “It always felt to me so strange to figure that people in the past ‘wouldn’t care so much’ for their kids because a lot of children died. Two things can be true at the same time. People surely knew that lots of people died in a very early age AND that doesn’t diminish any kind of bond or attachment. Ironically, it’s this theory itself that IS detached (from reality): humans are social creatures!”

  • ‘Old soul’ kid chooses his own name, then cracks himself up for a full minute
    A child with glasses laughing.Photo credit: Canva

    Donna Whelan describes her young son, Jacob, as an “old soul,” and well over a million people on social media seem to agree. She shares many adorable clips of him online, but one recent video of Jacob choosing his own name might just take the cake.

    In a clip from Donna’s Instagram page, she begins to ask Jacob a question: “Right, if you could choose a name for yourself…” She doesn’t even have a chance to finish before he confidently answers, “Roberto,” playing with a small lock of hair behind his ear. Just as quickly, he bursts into laughter and can’t seem to stop. “Didn’t even finish the sentence, and I gave ya an answer. Roberto!”

    Donna asks, “Do you like that name?” It’s now time for Jacob to get serious. “Yeah. Roberto is my favorite name.” He puts his hands into a pyramid, not unlike a politician or a TED Talk speaker. “When you think of… say Roberto slowly, though. Ro-bert-to. Ro-ber-toe. Rubber toe.” The laughing fit continues, his cheeks turning pink beneath his thick glasses.

    “Why does that name make you laugh so much?” Donna asks. Jacob immediately dissolves into giggles once again. “It’s just a funny name! Rubber toe!” It’s clear he’s not mocking it in any way, but simply delighted by his quick reaction and the joke.

    The laugh is truly infectious. Nearly 75,000 likes and over 3,500 comments (and counting) just heap love onto this child.

    One commenter says, “His little laugh gets me every time.” Another adds, “I actually laughed out loud too when he said ROBERTO😂😂 We never know what he’s going to say next.”

    And of course, a few “Robertos” chime in. “My name is Roberto,” one person says. “What’s so funny about being called Roberto? 😂” Another commenter adds, “Ya gotta say it slowly, though. Then it’s funny, haha.”

    Another Instagrammer shares that their son wanted to change his name when he was young: “My son wanted to change his name to Fun because he just wanted to have fun. His name is Benjamin or Ben. We call him Funjamin or Fun to this day, and he’s 29 years old!”

    This isn’t uncommon. In a piece I wrote for Upworthy a few months ago, I explored a popular parenting Reddit thread where people discussed their kids choosing new names, or even wanting to reinvent themselves.

    “For what it’s worth, I wanted to change my name a million times growing up,” one person confessed. “First, I wanted Dawn, then Angel, and lord knows what after that. I’m sure I went by Lilith during high school for a moment. My parents were so blasé about it. I never did change my name.”

    Another joked, “My son went by Spider-Man for almost a year at age 4. He’s 23 now and happy with his given name.”

    As for Jacob and his mom, who have more than 4 million followers on social media, they continue to delight the Internet with little Jacob-isms. In another popular clip, Jacob shares that he has “had about a million lives.” When Donna asks, “Would you like me to be your mum in every life?” Jacob slyly smiles, nods, and gives a resounding “Yes.”

    In a book by Donna and Jacob, The World According to Jacob: Hilarious Words of Wisdom From a Little Old Soul, they reveal that “Jacob has captured millions of hearts around the world with his infectious sense of humour, his fun, and his cheeky smile.”

  • The 1 mistake grandparents who don’t see their grandkids enough make with their daughter-in-law
    Maria DeLorenzo discusses the MIL/DIL dynamic. Photo credit: @mommom.maria/Instagram

    A grandmother’s candid take on family dynamics is getting people talking, and for many, nodding in agreement. After noticing a recurring question from frustrated grandparents online, one woman decided to address a sensitive topic head-on: why grandchildren often seem to spend more time with their mother’s side of the family.

    In a recent Instagram reel, Maria DeLorenzo, 59, responded to a wave of comments, particularly from mothers-in-law (MIL), wondering how to “counteract” what feels like an uneven relationship. Her answer was simple but eye-opening.

    “Kids live their lives in proximity to their parents,” she said, implying that they’re often closer to their mother. As a result, if grandparents on the father’s side don’t try to “cultivate” a relationship with the mom, aka the daughter-in-law (DIL), they may have fewer opportunities to see their grandchildren as a consequence.

    “It’s not rocket science,” she added. “That’s all there is to it…so choose.”

    That opinion is shared by Cheryl Groskopf, a holistic therapist at Evolution to Healing.

    “It’s important to understand that grandparent relationships usually grow out of the parent relationship first,” Groskopf said. “A child’s primary sense of safety runs through their parent—especially early on. So if a mother feels supported, respected, and emotionally safe with a grandparent…the most effective mindset shift is understanding that connection with the grandchild comes through connection with the parent.”

    Video sparks thoughtful debate

    The Instagram video drew more than 100,000 views and sparked a thoughtful discussion in the comments.

    Many parents shared personal experiences that supported DeLorenzo’s perspective. However, others felt it was an “outdated” view of MIL/DIL dynamics and argued that both the DIL and the son share responsibility for cultivating closeness.

    Even Groskopf agreed that “DILs can also be intentional about creating space for connection. Many grandparents are trying to figure out what their role is in a new family system. Small gestures like sharing updates, inviting them into moments with the child, and acknowledging their excitement about being a grandparent can go a long way toward building safe and supportive relationships.”

    No matter how you slice it, effort and intention from all sides seem to be necessary ingredients for building relationships.

    What a grandparent can do to build a relationship

    Here are some helpful ideas, courtesy of certified parent coach Sari Goodman

    1. Ask the parents, “How can I help?” and then follow through.
    2. Show up without judgment. Your grandkids may not be raised the way you would raise them, but it’s best to keep that to yourself.
    3. Show up with compliments. Notice something the parents do well and share the observation. When the grandkids do something brilliant, adorable, or sweet, point it out.
    4. Follow the rules the parents have established. If, for example, the children aren’t allowed to have sugar, don’t give it to them.
    5. Compliment the DIL’s parents. Did they bring the grandchildren a clever toy? Tell them. Do they have a method for getting the grandchildren into the car calmly? Say you want to learn from them.

    What a DIL can do to cultivate a relationship

    @heyjanellemarie

    Getting On the Same Page ✅ Honestly regardless of age, both parties should always be coming to any relationship with the intention and expextation for mutual respect. But noting that just because a Daughter-In-Law or future daughter-in-law isn’t a child and is in fact a grown person may help guide the approach you take as a parent of an adult or MIL. #relationshipbuilding #healthyrelationships #inlawrelationships #toxicmil #toxicdil #toxicinlaws #mutualrespect #mutualbenefit #opencommunication #effectivecommunication

    ♬ original sound – Janelle Marie

    Here are some helpful ideas from Goodman:

    1. Ask for help. Grandparents want to feel needed. Raising kids is hard. It’s a win-win.
    2. Ask grandparents for their opinion once in a while.
    3. Ask grandparents how things were done when you were a child.
    4. Be clear about the rules and policies you have established for your family.
    5. If the grandparents are babysitting, be sure to show them where the drinks and snacks are.
    6. If the grandparents are babysitting over a mealtime, have a meal prepared for them to eat.
    7. Compliment their grandparenting skills.

    Bottom line: all relationships take work. And very often, whether it’s with grandparents or within friendship circles, that effort pays off exponentially.

  • Mom took her teenage son to the ER, and the doctor seriously doubted their relationship
    A young mom with her kids in the ER.Photo credit: Coffe4LifeSage/TikTok

    Sage Pasch’s unique family situation has attracted a lot of attention recently. The 20-something mother of 2 shared a 6-second TikTok video on September 29 that has been viewed over 48 million times because it shows how hard it can be for young moms to be taken seriously.

    In the video, the young-looking Pasch took her son Nick to the ER after he injured his leg at school. But when the family got to the hospital, the doctor couldn’t believe Pasch was his mother.

    “POV, we’re at the ER, and the doctor didn’t believe I was the parent,” she captioned the post.

    Pasch and her fiancé , Luke Faircloth, adopted the teen in 2022 after his parents tragically died two years apart. “Nick was already spending so much time with us, so it made sense that we would continue raising him,” Pasch told Today.com.

    The couple has two sons together, including toddler Laith, and is now a family of five.

    Pasch says that people are often taken aback by her family when they are out in public. “Everybody gets a little confused because my fiancé and I are definitely younger to have a teenager,” she said. “It can be very frustrating.”

    It may be hard for the young parents to be taken seriously, but their story has made a lot of people in a similar situation feel seen. “Omg, I feel this. I took my son to the ER, and they asked for the guardian. Yes, hi, that’s me,” Brittany wrote in the comments. “Meee with my teenager at a parent-teacher conference. They think I’m her older sister and say we need to talk with your parents,” KatMonroy added.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Her husband got kissed by a stranger at a bar. Her response got more criticism than the woman who did it.
    A man and a woman talk at a barPhoto credit: Canva
    ,

    Her husband got kissed by a stranger at a bar. Her response got more criticism than the woman who did it.

    A night out in Los Angeles turned into a debate about consent, boundaries, and what it actually means to keep your cool.

    When a drunk woman grabbed her husband’s face and kissed him at a Los Angeles bar, @toastedciabatta stayed cool. No confrontation, no scene. When the woman’s friend rushed over to apologize, she smiled and said, “He’s a hot guy, I get it.” Later, when their groups crossed paths again, she let it go entirely.

    She thought she’d handled it well. Then she went home and couldn’t stop replaying it.

    In a TikTok posted in late August, she walked through the whole night, explaining that as her husband stepped up to order drinks, a woman approached him, held his face, and tried to kiss him on the mouth. He turned away just in time, so it landed on his cheek. The woman walked off. A friend of hers spotted the wife nearby and immediately started apologizing. The wife, not wanting to embarrass anyone, kept things light. The friend apologized again, explaining that her friend was very drunk. The wife told her not to worry about it.

    @rjchild

    Is there a “right” way to handle something like that? Did I completely miss my shining opportunity for a justified bar brawl?! #storytime #fypage #dramatiktok #couples #relationships

    ♬ original sound – RJ

    But something about the moment stuck. Not because she wished she’d gotten angry, she made that clear, but because she felt she’d let something genuinely not okay just dissolve into the noise of a crowded bar. In the video, she said she imagined going back and calmly asking the woman if she remembered what she’d done, and making clear that kissing a stranger without their consent isn’t acceptable regardless of how much you’ve had to drink. “Is there a ‘right’ way to handle something like that?” she asked viewers. “Did I completely miss my shining opportunity for a justified bar brawl?”

    The internet had opinions, and they weren’t all what she might have expected. The Mary Sue covered the response, noting that while some viewers backed her composure, “Girl, you’re GENTLE PARENTING at a BAR???” became something of a rallying cry in the comments. A number of people pointed out that the real issue wasn’t how she handled a social awkwardness but that her husband had been kissed without his consent, full stop, and that framing it as a question of her reaction somewhat missed the point. “He was just assaulted in front of you,” one commenter wrote, “and you just asked like ‘you OK that was weird?’”

    Four women sitting at a bar
    Bar patrons drinking on a busy night. Photo credit: Canva

    Others pushed back on that framing, arguing that the woman was clearly too drunk to have a meaningful conversation and that nothing said in that moment would have landed anyway. “That is a conversation she needs while sober,” one user noted.

    A smaller contingent said they would have handled it very differently. “I probably would not have been that understanding,” wrote @brooklynn_beast. “I’d start swinging.” @birdmo_k was more measured: “It’s assault. I would have called security.”

    The split in the comments is the real story. Most people watching agreed the kissing woman was wrong. What divided them was whether a calm non-reaction is grace under pressure or something closer to normalizing behavior that shouldn’t be normalized.

    For more videos like this, you can follow @toastedsourdoug on TikTok.

    This article originally appeared earlier this year.

  • A mom noticed her dog acting strange around her son for days. His explanation left her speechless.
    A young boy plays with his dogPhoto credit: Canva

    Annie noticed her dog acting strange on a Saturday and spent the better part of the weekend trying to figure out what was wrong with him.

    The dog had become completely fixated on her son, following him from room to room, nudging him, hovering nearby. “Like Velcro,” as Annie, who posts on Threads as @annie.wade00, put it. She ran through the usual checklist: was he limping? Off his food? Showing any signs of pain? Nothing. He seemed physically fine. He just wouldn’t leave her son alone. “I thought the dog was sick or something was wrong with him,” she wrote in a post that has since racked up more than 21,000 likes, comments and shares.

    After a few days of watching the behavior continue, she finally asked her son if he had noticed the dog “acting weird.” That’s when the real story came out.

    Young child walking the dog. Photo credit: Canva

    Her son told her he had been under serious stress about an upcoming school presentation. He’d been losing sleep, replaying worst-case scenarios, dreading the moment he’d have to stand up in front of his classmates. He hadn’t said much about it to anyone. The dog, it turned out, had been responding to something her son had been quietly carrying for days.

    “Now my son says having the dog nearby actually helps him feel calmer,” Annie wrote. “Animals pick up on things we don’t talk about. Sometimes they’re better at checking in than I am.”

    A frollicking dog running with its rope toy. Photo credit: Canva

    The story landed because so many people recognized it. In the comments, readers shared their own versions. One person described how their dog, Snoopy, grabbed a sock and hid under the bed the morning they were scheduled for cancer surgery. He had never stolen a sock before, and never did it again. “He knew I was anxious that morning and was trying to keep me home,” they wrote.

    As Newsweek reported, animal behavior expert Kate LaSala said none of this is really surprising from a scientific standpoint. “Dogs are also very attuned to routines and our own emotions,” LaSala said. “They have evolved to be especially good at reading our body language, much better than we are at reading theirs.” Stress and disrupted sleep both alter a person’s scent, their body language, and their daily patterns, and dogs register all of it. Research published in the journal Biology Letters backs this up, finding that dogs can integrate visual and auditory cues to identify emotional states in both humans and other dogs, an ability researchers described as previously known only in humans.

    This article originally appeared earlier this year.

  • Siblings rap version of ‘The Little Mermaid’ song has people hooked
    Siblings perform their unique rap version of a song from "The Little Mermaid."Photo credit: Tara Annan/Instagram
    ,

    Siblings rap version of ‘The Little Mermaid’ song has people hooked

    “This is a Grammy-level performance in the world of ‘mom look at this!'”

    It was just an average Friday night for Tara Annan and her family of seven. Everyone was enjoying downtime in the living room when suddenly the two youngest kids created a unique spin on a Disney musical classic. The world took notice.

    Cohen, who goes by the nickname Buggy, stands casually next to his older sister, Joee (pronounced Joey). In a light purple shirt, Joee begins to set the beat while singing, “Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?”

    The Little Mermaid

    The song the kids are singing/rapping is “Part of Your World” from the hit movie The Little Mermaid. (Alan Menken composed the music, and Howard Ashman provided the lyrics.) It’s a beautiful, swooning ballad and a pivotal part of the musical. For those unaware, the story centers around a lovely redheaded mermaid named Ariel. She gets a glimpse of life on land, and she wants in.

    In the song, Ariel admits to herself that no matter how wonderful her world is under the sea, she wants more: “I’ve got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I’ve got whosits and whatsits galore. Want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want more…”

    So of course the song deserves a hype man. That’s where Buggy comes in. Clad in his signature glasses and plaid pants, he begins his interpretive dance, adding in ridiculously hilarious sound effects and dance moves. The best part? The siblings just play off one another, as though they’re an old Vaudeville act that’s been doing it for ages.

    A musical family

    Upworthy had a chance to chat with Annan, a busy mom of five, who shared what her family’s typical weekends look like.

    “I didn’t cook that night so we all were hanging out in the living room after our DoorDash,” she says.

    She admits that having five kids creates a rather bustling energy:

    “We are a very loud bunch. We love music. Either my kids are making up their own beats or we have music on. We listen to all types of music. One thing I love is my home sets the tone for my kids to be themselves.”

    As for that particular song? “I just so happened to capture that little mix that night and the world loved it,” she says.

    The loving reaction

    This clip has over 850,000 likes on Instagram alone and more than 21,000 comments. One person jokingly writes that a “trap” version of the rendition would be done by rapper Lil Wayne—or, as they call him, “Lil Mermayne.”

    There are so many wholesome and funny comments pointing out the magic this family seems to have when creating together.

    “Imagine you tell your daughter to ‘go play with your little brother’ and 15 minutes later, they come down with this MASTERPIECE,” a commenter notes.

    Another commenter gives it the highest praise, writing, “This is a Grammy-level performance in the world of ‘mom look at this!’”

    Finally, this commenter shares that if they’d had these particular kids, they might have made different choices in life: “It’s embarrassing how many times I’ve watched this. If I knew this was guaranteed, I’d consider having kids.”

  • A dad was camping with his kids when a fellow camper slipped him this handwritten note
    A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

    There are a lot of challenging things about being a parent; take your pick. The sleep deprivation, the overwhelming responsibility, the lack of free time. But truly, one of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you’re doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you’re conscientious enough to even wonder if you’re a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there’s always a lingering voice in your head saying, “What if you’re really screwing this whole thing up?”

    Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

    “You are killing it as a dad.”

    Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, “To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me.”

    The note reads:

    “Bro,

    I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

    From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

    P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!”

    How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn’t love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

    Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

    dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids
    A handwritten note with the words Photo credit: Canva

    So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

    “That would make any daddy’s eyes water.”

    “It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment.”

    “I complimented a guy’s glasses at work (I’m also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn’t just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I’m just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I’m not in the market. I finally had to tell him I’m not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

    Made me feel like that’s the first compliment he’s had in years because he can’t stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he’s cute but he really thinks it’s just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard.””I was in the store with my wife and one of our ‘adopted nephews’ yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said ‘I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.’ It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day.”

    “10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol.”

    “We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️”

    dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids

    A man smiling Photo credit: Canva

    “I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful.”

    “Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don’t have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they’re doing great & it brings them happy tears.”

    “This made me cry. I love that you are getting your ‘flowers.’ My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones.”

    “This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days.”

    “I’m a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please.”

    The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn’t written for clout or notoriety, it wasn’t to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

    dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids

    A dad with his kid on his shoulders Photo credit: Canva

    We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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