upworthy
party, chatting, likable, drinks small talk, men and women

A woman speaking with two men at a party.

When we think of someone likable, we often imagine a person with a big personality who's the life of the party. We conjure up images of social butterflies and people who keep everyone at the dinner party glued to their every word when they tell a story. The funny thing is, according to research, that's not really the case.

Studies show that the easiest way to make someone like you is to show interest by asking questions during the conversation and making it clear that you like them. People also really love those who come off as genuine.


Michael Gendler, a co-founder of Ultraspeaking, a platform that helps people master the art of public speaking, recently shared three "magic" phrases that make you more likable, all of which align with what science tells us.

Three phrases that make you more likable

Phrase 1: "Here's what really scares me..."

This phrase resonates with people because it shows you're genuine by admitting your vulnerability. "Man, talk about your feats, real fears, not like 'Oh, I'm scared I'm going to be too successful.' Tell us about something that actually scares you. Don't be guarded. Be open, and other people will appreciate that," Gendler says.

Phrase 2: "You know what I really like about you?"

This phrase makes people like you because it counters a psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias, which suggests we tend to overestimate how clearly we express our feelings to others. This means that, many times, when we think others know we like them, they may not be so sure. So a little assurance goes a long way toward showing them the feeling is mutual. "People love being complimented as long as it is genuine," Gendler says.


Phrase 3: "Tell me more"

As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Make Friends and Influence People, the key to interacting with others is focusing on being interested in them rather than trying to impress them by being interesting. "Be interested, not interesting," Carnegie writes.

A Harvard study supports this, showing that when you first start speaking with someone, you should follow your first question with two more. People who do this are rated as much more likable than those who, after one question, shift the conversation to themselves. "People love feeling like what they're saying is interesting. So invite them to speak more," Gendler continues.


Don't forget to be genuine

Ultraspeaking's post is a breath of fresh air for those who aren't comfortable trying to impress others at parties, on dates, or in the office. The video shows that if you make people feel important, they're much more likely to like you in return. The key is that it has to come from the heart.

"Remember, don't just use these phrases and expect them to work," Gendler says. "They have to be genuine and open. That's what makes people likable."

Sylvia Browne, Montel Williams, laughing, psychic, viral videos
Photo Credit: Canva, The Montel Williams Show

People laugh while scrolling their phone. Sylvia Browne looks concerned.

If you lived through the '90s and early aughts and happened to watch The Montel Williams Show or Larry King Live, you probably remember their "resident psychic," Sylvia Browne. With her flaxen blonde hair and very short bangs, Browne claimed to be a medium for "angels" and purported to be clairvoyant when audience members asked her questions.

Of course, it wasn't just Millennials watching. Many members of previous generations would, often secretly, enjoy her segments with abandon like a sci-fi zombie B-movie. It wasn't until we had a little hindsight that we could measure her extremely confident-sounding statements and understand that...many of them simply were not true.


Near the end of last year, people who grew up in this era began making compilations of some of Browne's most outrageous, inappropriate, and often laughably wrong predictions. The trend went so incredibly viral that it has picked up steam again, and these clips continue making the rounds.

In one montage of clips, we see person after person bravely stand up and ask Sylvia questions. Often they'll ask about someone who has gone missing. Browne's answers are curt and to the point. "He drowned" seems to be a big one. To one woman who asked about her father, Sylvia matter-of-factly states, "He's alive. He's in Florida."

A common question Montel often asked after Browne's declarations was, "Does that make sense?" Usually the answer was, "No, but thank you," as the audience member gingerly took their seat.

The best part of watching these clips continue to go viral is the communal joy it's bringing to the comment sections (not to mention the nostalgia and the jokes). One person writes that their life schedule was dependent on whether or not Browne was booked as a guest that day. "If Sylvia was on, I'd skip school."

psychic, Sylvia Browne, Montel Williams., Larry King, Mean Girls Amanda Seyfried in a scene from the movie Mean Girls. Giphy, Paramount Pictures

This person jokes after seeing the woman who was told her father has been in Florida for decades: "Her dad in Florida watching this: Darn it!"

Another acknowledges Browne's go-to answer. "Sylvia, I forgot my middle name…." "It drowned." "Okay, thank you."

And here's another spin on it: "5 years ago my father went missing while climbing Mount Everest I was wonde....." "He drowned in the Titanic." "Thank you."

Over on Threads, @Robbylernan posted quite a few Browne clips, claiming, "I went down a Sylvia Browne rabbit hole last night and I laughed my a-- off for an hour."

One person on the thread reminisces about their favorite Browne moment: "The best one was when she told that reporter that the girl in the picture was kidnapped and dead and the reporter said, 'That picture is me.' And she looked at the woman and said, 'You weren't kidnapped?' BRUHHH."

Note: Her predictions weren't all completely wrong. In fact, The Daily Mail recently shared a Browne prediction that went viral during the COVID-19 pandemic. Browne reportedly stated, "In around 2020, a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread throughout the globe, attacking the lungs and bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments."

That said, skeptics debunked her claims for years. In a piece for TV Insider, freelance entertainment Martin Holmes reminds readers of the time "Browne told Louwanna Miller her missing daughter, Amanda Berry, was 'not alive,' explaining to the distraught mother, 'Your daughter's not the kind who wouldn't call.'" Holmes adds, "Berry was found alive in 2013 after she escaped years of captivity."

In 2010, Skeptical Inquirer Magazine noted, "Despite her repeated claims to be more than 85 percent correct," a study reported that "Browne has not even been mostly correct in a single case."

Wrong or right, it's the wrongness that seems to bring the most delight to those who are dipping into the nostalgia. Even Saturday Night Live got in on the fun.

Amy Poehler spoofs Sylvia Browne on SNL. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC Universal

ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.


Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

life hacks, magic tricks, magic phrases, retail worker, sales, credit card

A woman with a knowing look on her face.

In the real world, there are no such things as magic words like "abracadabra" or "open sesame," but the way you phrase something can have a huge impact on how people interpret your words. Just as we can choose to be rude or polite when asking for help, we can also frame our requests to increase the likelihood of getting the response we want.

Chelsea Anderson, who refers to herself as a professional life hacker, shared the "magic words" she loves to use in a recent TikTok post. The video inspired her followers to share their own, creating a treasure trove of magic words and phrases that can help us become better communicators.


Anderson's magic phrase is: "Would you mind if..."

@chelseaexplainsitall

I love magic words!!! What are some that you know of? Totally fine to include very niche use cases ◡̈ #magicwords #lifehack #cheatcodes

"The reason this is magic is because it allows people to say 'no' in order to say 'yes' to your request," she said. "Saying 'no' is a much easier thing to do than saying 'yes,' because saying 'yes' requires a lot of authority. If I ask my boss, 'Do you mind if I rearrange these slides in this deck?' It's easy for that person to authoritatively say, 'No, I don't mind,' because they know whether they mind or not."

In a way, "Would you mind…" bypasses the question of whether the request is appropriate and instead asks whether the person cares. Anderson's video, which was also posted on Instagram, inspired people to share their own magic phrases, and here are 13 of the best ones.

13 of the best "magic words" and phrases

"I'll remember that for next time"

"'Sir, you can't bring outside candy into the movie theater.’' 'I'll remember that for next time.' Most of the time, there's no follow-up." — Narlz

"As it turns out" (instead of "unfortunately")

“Unfortunately has a negative connotation." — Desert streams

"What are the odds..."

“For example, 'What are the odds you have a table for 2 right now?' It's so disarming and charming that it works almost always." — Angie


"What would you do if you were in my situation?"

"It's magic when you need customer support. It makes them think about the situation in a different way and have some empathy." — Nap

"If no one objects…"

"I was on our HOA board. As with any board, no one wanted to make a decision. So I would just send out emails that said 'if no-one objects, i'm going to…' and then I did whatever I wanted to. It meant that a majority would have to object in order to stop me. They weren't that organized." — Willwebstardad

"I see."

"When you disagree with someone but know that engaging with them in discussion would be pointless.” — StayathomedadThoughts

"Is this a bad time?"

"Usually, people say 'no,' and it makes them feel empowered, so then you can ask for a yes later in the conversation.” — Lori


"Are we venting or problem solving?"

“When a partner or friend comes to you with an issue. Both require different responses, and I swear so many miscommunications can be avoided by asking this!" — Linda

"Guess where I'm taking you?"

"Instead of asking where people want to eat, etc. A guess is much more fun, and they'll always guess the place they wanna go!" — Sarah

"I need a miracle and I know you can make it happen"

"People jump to help make miracles happen, no matter how big or small, even me!" — Julie

"I'm just visiting for the weekend."

"I travel a lot and frequently say this when people try to offer me things (gym memberships, movie passes, etc.), and I've accidentally gotten so many free things by telling them I'm only visiting for the weekend. I guess people love to share kindness with visitors! So far, I've received free ice skating passes, free movie tickets, free entry to a gym, etc." — Lifts and kicks


"I love the way you handled that"

"When someone (partner, friend, coworker) takes the lead on solving something for me. It makes them feel more empowered, strengthens our trust and makes it easy for them to say yes next time." — Maraanddenise

"Thanks" (instead of "please")

"Say it at the end of a direction (mainly aimed at kids), i.e., 'push your chair in, thanks.' This stops any argument, and the direction is followed as thanks is usually what is said after the act is followed through with. A very simple and effective hack in the classroom." — Jan

Ultimately, these magic phrases have something in common: they're about taking a moment to consider the other person before you speak. It's about presenting information in a way that empowers the other person rather than leaving them feeling put out by your request. It shows that taking a quiet moment to consider someone else's perspective can give you a significant advantage in life.

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood

Amy White explains how her house became "the house" for her teens.

I grew up in "the house." In high school, my home was the designated place where my friends gathered, sometimes in big groups, sometimes just my small core squad. My three best friends spent the night there almost every Friday and/or Saturday night for four years straight. We devoured Totino's frozen pizzas by the dozen, inhaled soda, and laid waste to any snacks or leftovers that were brave enough to survive in the kitchen. Not only that, but my house was pretty small — four teenage boys took up a lot of space in the living room (the whole thing) and made a lot of noise playing video games deep into the night. It must have driven my parents and older brothers crazy. It's a wonder anyone put up with it.

Or so I thought when I was younger. When I became a parent myself, I started to understand a little more why my mom and dad were so willing to host and feed all my friends and me every single weekend. Why the outrageous grocery bill and constant chaos in the house were probably a small price to pay.


Mom explains how to make your house 'the house' where teenagers hang

One mom has perfectly encapsulated the value of turning your home into "the house" for your kids and their friends, and exactly how she did it for her family.

teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teens hanging out in a living room.via Canva/Photos

Amy White shared a reel on Instagram showing her college-aged son hanging in her dining room with a group of friends playing cards. The text overlay reads "What makes your kids' high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break." I think most parents can agree that we want our kids to keep coming home as long as possible! So how exactly did White pull this off?

Her explanation in the caption was spot-on.

First, White says that you have to start early. Become "the hang out house" in high school or even earlier. Then you have a better chance of holding onto the mantle into your kid's college years.


Next, be ready to stock the house with snacks and drinks, and don't make a fuss when your kid's friends have at it. "The kids knew we had food," she writes, "BUT they also knew I didn't care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge."

Third, and this is a big one, don't mistake being the "cool house" for being "the house." Some parents choose to allow their underage kids and friends to drink alcohol under their supervision, but you don't have to bend your morals and the law to lure the squad over to your place. Pizza and Coke is plenty to keep most teens happy. "We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!"

teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teenagers eating pizza.via Canva/Photos

Fourth, always say Yes (as often as possible, anyway) when your kids want to have friends over. "They know my answer is 99% of the time YES," White writes. "You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was 'open' to their friends in high school, they know it will be 'open' to their friends in college."

As a bonus tip, White pleas with parents not to worry about the mess having friends over makes. "I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house 'clean.'"

Should parents allow teens to drink at home?

There's an age-old debate over whether parents should allow teens to drink at home because it's better than if they do is unsupervised or keep their home dry as a bone. A recent study out of the University of Buffalo found that kids who grew up drinking at home had a greater chance of having addiction problems when they got older. "A robust relationship was found between parental permission to use alcohol during adolescence and increased alcohol use frequency and quantity, alcohol use disorder symptoms, and alcohol-related harms in young adulthood," the study says.

White writes, "It's worth being 'the house', so let go of control & get to know your kids friends." Commenters agreed.

White's video went viral to the tune of 8.5 million views and hundreds of comments. Parents shared their own experiences of what it's like being the default hang out house.

"Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays"

"A wise man once said don't be the house with the alcohol. Be the house with the food."

"Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it"


teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teenagers eating pizza.via Canva/Photos

"We never allowed alcohol, drugs, bad language, always respectful, and guess what, our house was always the house where the kids hung out. First my daughter, then my son. Through grade school, high school, then when my kids went out of state for college their college friends would come spend a couple weeks during the summer. I always thought of it this way, I loved knowing my kids friends and, who knows, maybe some of those kids, especially during the younger years, just maybe those kids just needed an adult to care. Anyway, it was always fun to have them here!"

"It used to crack me up when my daughter would bring over a bunch of her friends (girls and boys) in high school and instead of hanging out in the family room they all wanted to crowd into either the kitchen with me or our tiny office and happily share all the gossip with me."

Experts say that knowing your kids' friends, and their parents, can have huge benefits. Not only will it bring you the peace of mind of knowing where your kid is and who they're with when they get to those crucial high school years, it has been shown to tangibly improve kids ability to create positive relationships and problem-solve collaboratively. Plus, it can actually be really fun! Kids and teens are the funniest, silliest, most interesting people on the planet. Having a house full of them is messy and loud, but it's always a good time.

One caveat: "don’t feel bad if your house isn’t the chosen house," one commenter reminds us. "Just be happy your kid has a good group of friends and be thankful they have somewhere safe to hang out."

This article originally appeared last year.