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Would you remarry if your spouse died? Widows explain why they've chosen to remain single.

There are some interesting differences between men's and women's answers.

older woman sitting outside

Most people who lose a spouse don't remarry.

Most of us don't want to imagine our spouse dying, but since couples rarely die at the same time, it's a reality many of us will eventually face. It's hard to know how we would feel about remarrying if that were to happen—some people who swear they would never remarry end up hating being alone after being widowed, and some people who are open to the idea end up being perfectly content to stay single.

Statistically, most people actually don't remarry after being widowed. A study published in The Journals of Gerontology found that "most repartnering after widowhood occurs within ten years of this event or not at all. Ten years after widowhood, about 7% of widows and 29% of widowers have formed a new union." Widows and widowers who have actually faced the reality of losing a spouse and decided not to remarry are sharing their reasoning, and it's a fascinating glimpse into how differently people view independence and relationships. It's also interesting to see some how men and women might view remarrying differently.

Here are four big reasons widowed people on Reddit's /AskOldPeople said they've chosen to stay single.

Not wanting to be a caretaker

Some people who have lost partners went through intense caretaking due to illness and don't want to go through that again. But some—particularly women—had a marriage that involved taking care of someone else for decades and they simply don't want to do that anymore.

"My grandmother lost her husband in 1983 and never even dated again until she died in 2016. I asked her about it once, and she said, 'Why would I want to take care of an old man? Are you trying to kill me?'"

"That's what my grandma told me when I asked her. She said that the old guys just want someone to take care of them, cook, do laundry, clean the house, do their bidding. She was not up for that--she was very independent."

"My grandmother said the same thing. Grandpa died in 1992 she lived till 2018. Went on trips with friends, had an active social life but never dated again because in her words 'I took care of 1 man for 47 years why would I sign up to take care of another.'"

"I have heard the phrase 'looking for a nurse and a purse' in regard to many older gents and why they want to re-marry. Likely not all older fellows but certainly some."

"As soon as my mother died my father went into full wife search mode. He was definitely looking for a nurse. Mom had been his caretaker so we needed to bring in caretakers after she died, he fell in love with almost all of them and would have married anyone that would have had him. His caretakers were primarily widows and they all were very adamant that they had zero interest in remarrying. I first heard the term 'nurse and a purse' from one of them."

Not wanting to dip in the dating pool

Young people often feel like the dating scene is rough, but it's often worse for people in their later years. Many people in that dating pool are divorced, and some of them for good reason.

"Have you seen the dating pool? Someone took a big ol pooo in it."

"This, exactly. I’m not opposed to having another partner, just haven’t found one that is worth having. In addition, the pool gets smaller as I get older. Not going to accept anything less than an actual partner."

"Have you looked at the dating scene lately?? It’s a virtual cesspool!"

"Dating seems horrifying. Having to tell someone my whole story and learn theirs seems exhausting. I'm okay on my own."

Not wanting a sexual relationship

People's desire for sex exists on a huge spectrum, and some people simply don't want the sexual expectations of a committed relationship.

"Years ago, I asked my divorced mom if she ever wanted to date again. Her response: I don't want somebody trying to have sex with me. I let it go there."

"I’m 62, divorced, and I’m of the same mind. On the one hand, I know life would be easier with a partner and two incomes, etc. but the truth is I just don’t want to be bothered with sex anymore. I have no interest whatsoever."

"I honestly can’t see myself pursuing a sexual relationship and certainly don’t need a purse or a nurse. I will someday fall into a situation where someone enters my life who may like to share my company and just enjoy good conversation. Then again I may find a way to be alone without being lonely. Time will tell."

"I got a big dog who sleeps on the bed with me. Doesn't pressure me for sex. All is good! 😂"

Enjoying the freedom of living alone

While living alone can be lonely for some, it's a whole new world of choices and freedom for others.

"So, I loved my late husband, but living with him was a constant compromise. Every decision, every choice, also had to take his needs and preferences into account. After 35 years, I didn’t even know what my own favorite color was anymore. I am busy creating the life and the household I want now, and have no desire to bend or adjust to fit somebody else’s tastes or needs.

I can watch what I like on tv.
I can set the thermostat to whatever temperature I want.
I can cook with butter. Or not cook at all.
I don’t have to ask what anyone else thinks.

I’m enjoying my self discovery."

"A friend of mine, a widow for about a decade, told me recently that she prefers the freedom of being single. Her schedule is her own. Wakes up, goes to bed, eats and travels when she wants. When her husband was alive, their marriage wasn't good so she isn't interested in taking a risk on someone again."

"My sister’s husband died unexpectedly and suddenly after 34 years of marriage. He was her first and only love. She has been approached numerous times by men, but she isn’t interested. She says 'I already had love, I don’t need it again. Besides, I like living alone with no one to tell me where or when I have to do anything.'”

"My mom died at 41, dad was 43. He never remarried. He passed last year at 76. He said he did not want to remarry (he never said never) because compromise was so hard. He said he loved my mom, and he compromised for her, but he didn’t want to compromise for anyone else. As a teenager when he told me that, I couldn’t comprehend what he meant. As an adult, I completely understand."

Undying love and knowing no one will live up to it

Finally, some don't remarry for the simple fact that they loved their spouse so much they have no desire to ever be with someone else. One perfect love was enough for one lifetime.

"I lost my husband coming up on 2 years ago suddenly and honestly have no plans of remarrying. I'm in the process of building a new life with my new normal and I don't see someone else in that new life. Once you have your soulmate, nothing else has any interest."

"My husband died 2.5 years ago. He's the only guy who ever asked me out ( I was 25). We were married 45 years. He's my first last and always. I count myself lucky. There's no place in my life for anyone else."

"I've told people that I barely survived losing my husband. I suppose I might be able to survive that kind of loss again, but I don't want to have to try. And, I'm not interested in making room in my life for anyone who wouldn't leave that kind of hole."

"Never again. My husband was absolutely perfect for me and I would constantly compare any other men to him - and that’s not fair to anyone or to my late husband’s memory. No one could hold a candle to him.

I don’t wear my wedding band anymore, but I do wear a band. It has two hearts and the words 'Forever Love' on it."

"I will always be married to my late wife."

"I already had the best."

Awww.

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s asweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends atAll In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. The best travel buddy surprise 

@tarareynolds03

Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds
This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
“If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

“Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

3. The proudest big brother

@caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW

Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

4. Overly excited dogs 

@puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay

This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

5.Bunny ASMR

@megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani

If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Pop Culture

25 long-forgotten everyday items that only your grandparents would recognize

We're not talking rotary phones. These legit feel like they're from another world.

Get ready to go full throttle down memory lane.

Time passes and things change, not just in the broad collective strokes of how we approach health, family, love, and work, but even in how we navigate day-to-day life. Especially when it comes to convenience. Objects that seemed cutting edge back in the day now seem like arduous relics. Seriously, can you imagine going back to a time when Alexa didn’t play your morning jams and read off our to-do list for the day? No thank you!

On that note, someone recently asked, "What were some everyday objects from your youth or your parents/grandparents’ youth that an adult today wouldn’t know about?” Elaborating further, they added, “I’m not talking about a rotary telephone or the milk man coming by the door. I’m talking about ubiquitous things no one can even remember.”

While answers varied, one prevailing theme was the amount of effort required by so many of these everyday objects. And yet, that was their charm—forcing folks to be a bit more in the moment. Similarly, just the way some things were made to last longer, have better quality, etc. is a stark contrast to the mass production single-use mentality we have now. Even still, I think some of these items we’re more than glad to be rid of (see # 3)

Without further ado, here are some of those long gone objects:

1. "Mascara that came in a little box, like eyeshadow. There was also a little brush that came with it."


2. "Cream rinse. After shampooing, you'd put a capful of cream rinse in a glass of water and pour the whole thing over your hair to detangle. That was before we had conditioners."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

3. "Belted maxi pads."
@sunnyperiod low key want to get my hands on a vintage sanitary belt 👀 #periodtok #blackhistorymonth #pads #marykenner ♬ original sound - Sunny

“Don't forget the incinerettes on the ladies room wall to burn those suckers. That was free at least,” someone added.

4. "Sardine cans that came with a key to open them."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

5. "TVs or radios that you had to wait for them to 'warm up' for a few seconds before they worked. And who remembers color bars'? When the station would just show colored bars for a minute to give you time to adjust the color on your set?"
6. "A booklet to keep S&H Green Stamps or Blue Chip Stamps."

- YouTubeyoutube.com

7. “Clamp-on steel kids’ roller skates.”

roller skates, vintage, old, metal, steel, Remember these?i.ebayimg.com

8. "Imagine, if you will, a world where you drive into a gas station, and a man in uniform comes out and asks what octane you want. Then, he proceeds to open the hood and check your oil level and radiator fluid. After, he washes ALL the car windows, takes your money, and thanks you for stopping by."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

9. "The first time Catholic girls were allowed to wear 'stockings' was during their Confirmation. It was a rite of passage, and mine was in 1968. The stockings were scratchy, thigh-high things held up by these weird garter belts with rubbery clips."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

10. "Paregoric. It was given to us kids who had diarrhea. It was opium! You won't see that in medicine cabinets anymore."
11. "Darning needles and darning yarn. In the 1960s (more or less), it was still worthwhile to darn socks. But by the 1980s, socks were cheap enough that darning was mostly a thing of the past. Maybe it's just me, though. Does anyone still darn socks?"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

12. "A mangle ironing machine."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

13."Mercury oral thermometers. Had a fever? Your thermometer was made of glass and filled with mercury. Yes, that mercury. The temperature would lock in, so you'd have to shake the thermometer before using it. Every now and again, one would drop and shatter, so you'd have a few drops of liquid mercury to play with! What kid doesn't want to play with mercury? I wish I were kidding. Fun times!"
14. "The little plastic piece you put in the hole on a 45 record that would make it fit and play on the record player."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

15. "A tabletop clamp-on meat grinder."
16. "Colored toilet paper."

gen x, boomer, vintage items, vintage makeup, vintage clothes, history, cool history, fun history, ask reddit, ask old peopleAn example of vintage colored toilet paper. preview.redd.it

17. "My grandmother had a telephone desk, similar to a school desk. It had a chair and a small table where the large, heavy rotary desk phone sat, and on the side was a wire rack for the directory and Yellow Pages."

gen x, boomer, vintage items, vintage makeup, vintage clothes, history, cool history, fun history, ask reddit, ask old peopleThis could still be useful. i.ebayimg.com

18. "McDonald's french fries used to be cooked in beef tallow. The taste was phenomenally good and nothing like the bland ones of today."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

19. "Crank handles to start tractors. There were no push buttons back then."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

20. "Toothpaste came in a can! It looked like a 1930s-era whiskey flask and contained pumice powder and flavoring. You'd open the lid, wet your toothbrush, rub it in the powder, and brush your teeth. Then, you'd just repeat the processes as needed."
@jasminechiswell Swatching 100 years of TOOTHPASTE!! 😲Ommgggg why do they still smell like that?!!! 😳 Also what happened to the 30s 😳😲
♬ original sound - Jasmine Chiswell
21.“The little triangle window on a car we called the 'windbreaker'--you had to open that so you could put your window down while driving so there wasn't as much noise. A/C was not standard. Also, curb indicators on cars.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

22.“Pantyhose in eggs.”

(This is in reference to the distinctive plastic egg-shaped container in which L'eggs pantyhose were sold.)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

23. “One thing that was often seen back in my youth and for a year I also had them but I haven't seen for a couple of decades are metal heel plates (also known as ‘taps’) to prevent boot and shoe heels from wearing down.
@elliot_duprey Quick lil tip and how-to! And no, they dont actually make the “tap” sound. Also, cobblers have benches. #mensfashion #fashiontiktok #tipsandtricks #fashionhacks #cobbler #secondhand ♬ Storytelling - Adriel
24. “Hershey's chocolate bars used to come in foil. Peeling it off was satisfying.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Last but not least…

25. “Jelly-jar drinking glasses with cartoon characters on them.”

gen x, boomer, vintage items, vintage makeup, vintage clothes, history, cool history, fun history, ask reddit, ask old peopleThese need to come back. i.etsystatic.com

This article originally appeared in April

It's the rehabilitation center's very first Parenting Prom.

On a beautiful Saturday afternoon in April 2025, something extraordinary happened at California's most famous prison, San Quentin Rehabilitation Center (SQRC). The prison's chapel was transformed into a gorgeous ballroom: music filled the air, an illuminated dance floor beckoned, the scent of fresh flowers wafted through the room, and twinkling lights sparkled overhead. Outside, guests arrived on a ruby red carpet. Girls wore beautiful gowns and dresses; their fathers, in sharp tuxedos, held corsages ready to be tied onto their daughters' wrists. This wasn't a prom in the usual high schoolNever Been Kissed sense. Instead, it was a magical evening where 17 incarcerated fathers got the chance to do something many of us take for granted: simply dance with their daughters and make them feel special.

Twenty-five daughters, ages 7 to 27, walked down that red carpet to reunite with their beloved fathers—some hadn't seen each other in years, others in over a decade. On the sidelines, “correctional officers, guardians, mothers, and volunteers cheered as each reunion took place. Some people were in tears, writes,” Localnewsmatters. SQRC's “Parenting Prom” was planned and hosted by The People in Blue (TPIB), a coalition of innovative incarcerated individuals working to reimagine California's prisons from the inside. This night in April was never meant to be a singular, one-off event—this is what rehabilitation can look like at its best: healing families and individuals, rather than warehousing people who have made mistakes.



@drumarjojodinero

16 incarcerated fathers got to reunite with their daughters for a Daddy Daughter Dance in San Quentin Prison. They have waited years for this moment. Some have waited decades. These kind of moments are sacred to many parents who deeply appreciate, care about, and love their children. Most men are incarcerated don’t even get this opportunity. Let alone get a phone call/a visit/even a letter.. This is what rehabilitation should look like. This what restoration should look like ‼️🥹 Such a beautiful event. For just a few hours, these men got to experience something different. For just a few hours, this didn’t feel like prison. #healing #happyfathersday #fatherdaughter #sanquentin #fyp #daddydaugtherdance #massincarceration

If you think prison is just about punishment, you’re missing the bigger picture

This is what healing looks like in action.

“We want to promote healing,” said Arthur Jackson, The People in Blue’s president. “We want to promote healing for everybody, victims of crime, families, communities, and incarcerated individuals. We believe families are critical to rehabilitation and healing, and we want to normalize these reunions as much as possible.”

Members of TPIB worked as ushers and servers, ensuring everyone in attendance—mothers, guardians, daughters, and fathers—were well cared for and enjoying themselves. The idea for the Parenting Prom began in 2023, when someone noticed Louis Sale (a TPIB member and the night's emcee) dancing with his daughter, Matalena, at the SQRC Hawaiian Makahiki celebration. The inspiration grew when residents at SQRC watched the documentary Daughters in 2024, which showcases a similar father-daughter dance in a Washington, D.C. jail. It resonated deeply. “We knew we had to make it happen,” says Sale.


father, daughter, dance, hugging, reuniting"We knew we needed to make it happen," said the emcee, Louis Sale. Credit: @drumarjojodinero (TikTok)

San Quentin, California's oldest and most well-known prison, is undergoing a major transformation into a rehabilitation-focused facility. Inspired by Scandinavian models, the new San Quentin Rehabilitation Center prioritizes education, therapy, job training, and family connection while moving away from traditional punishment approaches. The goal? To reduce recidivism—the relapse into criminal behavior after release—and prepare incarcerated individuals for successful reentry into society. This revolutionary change has the prison now housing approximately 3,900 individuals, with a focus on lower-risk individuals who can benefit most from rehabilitation programs.


“I can't stop crying”

Each incarcerated father was required to complete and graduate from an eight-week family communication workshop. The workshop was created by Tam Nguyen, a TPIB member who has been incarcerated for 22 years and has prior training from the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation's Offender Mentor Certification Program and the Youthful Offender Program.

“I started this workshop to help bring families closer together,” said Nguyen. “If we don’t have strong family ties when we go back to our communities, it increases the recidivism rate.”

One of those graduates was Steven Embrey, who danced with his three daughters, Ase (7), Anna (9), and Tiara (28). “This workshop helped me be more understanding. I listen more, and we talk about reasonable and unreasonable expectations,” he said.


father, daughter, dance, hugging, reunitingSome of the fathers hadn't seen their daughters in years. Credit: @drumarjojodinero (TikTok)

The emotional impact of the night was immediate and profound. Carrington Russelle, another incarcerated father who graduated from the class, reunited with his 12- and 14-year-old daughters, Jazlyn and Jayla, who had traveled all the way from Georgia to see him.

“It's the first time I saw them in person in more than a decade,” said Russelle. “I can't stop crying.”

One of the most powerful moments came during the slow dance to Luther Vandross' “Dance with My Father.” There wasn't a dry eye in the room as correctional officers, volunteers, and family members watched fathers—some who hadn't seen their daughters in decades—embrace and share that special song together.

“I have been at San Quentin over 20 years. I have probably witnessed hundreds of events, but nothing like this,” said acting chief deputy warden Eric Patao. “I have three daughters. I understand a father's love. We have a common bond today.”


father, daughter, dance, hugging, reunitingThe Parenting Prom was a community event, cultivated with love. Credit: @drumarjojodinero (TikTok)

Another beautiful aspect? The evening was truly a community effort: some daughters received free flights and hotel accommodations to see their fathers, thanks to God Behind Bars. Other organizations and individuals provided a DJ, decorations, and food. At the end of the night, daughters received flowers, goodie bags, and t-shirts reading “I Danced with My Father.”

The Parenting Prom at San Quentin represents something much bigger than one beautiful evening. It's a glimpse into what our justice system could look like if we prioritized healing over punishment, connection over isolation, and hope over despair. Steven Warren, who danced with his 8-year-old daughter Wynter, captured this perfectly: “We did this to build long-lasting healthy relationships with our daughters. This is a memory that will last a lifetime.”

A photo collage from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

It's really interesting what nearly 35 years does to the lens of perspective. When my friend invited me to join her family for their once-a-month movie night, she asked which John Hughes movie she should show her 14-year-old twins. The answer was obvious. It had to be something fun, school-related, and iconic. Ferris Bueller's Day Off seemed to be the perfect choice as we Gen X-ers loved it when we were exactly their age in 1986.

The fraternal twins (one boy, one girl) sat down on a rare early Saturday evening when neither had dance practice or a sleepover. We gathered in our comfy clothes, popped some popcorn, and hit "rent now."

They were excited by the opening scene, where an adorable Matthew Broderick (doesn't matter what generation one is, he transcends them all) is pretending to be sick in bed with worrying parents. His sister Jeanie is suspicious and exhausted by his antics, but Ferris prevails. He then proceeds to give a brilliant monologue about eating life up and living in the moment. His now-famous line, Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it,” is still plastered in quote books and on Bumble profiles.

The twins seemed inspired, and one of them actually teared up in the first five minutes.

The opening scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, Film Studies Fundamntals

Spoilers ahead: the movie is pretty simple. Ferris is a super cool high school kid with a beautiful girlfriend, Sloane, played by Mia Sara. His best friend is a depressed hypochondriac named Cameron, who is played to perfection by Alan Ruck. Ferris skips school a lot (nine times!) and grabs each day by the neck. There are themes of Hedonism, Nihilism, and Taoism, but neither of the twins mentioned that.

The first thing both kids DID bring up (after being delighted by the shower monologue) was how privileged the characters were. Affluent Chicago suburbs, after all, was the setting John Hughes knew best. They also noted, as many have over the years, that Ferris seemed rather selfish and insensitive to what others in his life wanted and needed.

Ferris Bueller, 80s movies, Gen X, Gen ZA Ferris Buellers Day Off Film GIFGiphy Paramount Pictures

There have been many conversations over the years about Cameron being the true hero of the film. He has a story arc, unlike Ferris, that is unwavering. He's sad, but pushes through it and even gets the guts up to stand up to his father after a Ferrari incident.

In fact, there was a theory that Ferris was a figment of Cameron's imagination—a Fight Club scenario, if you will. Robert Vaux writes on CBR, "The theory holds that the entire day is a fantasy taking place in Cameron's head while he lies sick in bed. His sickness actually supports the theory: once Ferris comes over, it vanishes, and Cameron plunges energetically, if reluctantly, into the events of the day. According to the theory, it's because there are no events of the day. He's still sick at home, and the whole thing is a daydream."

cameron, ferris bueller's day off, 80s movies, john hughes, gen x, gen zCameron GIF in Ferris Buellers Day Off 80SGiphy, Paramount Pictures

I fully expected the twins to have similar thoughts. If not the Fight Club part, at least the idea that Cameron was the true protagonist. But what they (both of them) said instead was shocking. "No," the daughter told me. "I mean, I liked Ferris and I loved Cameron. But it's Jeanie who's the hero here."

Jeanie, the sister mentioned earlier, was played with pure rage by Jennifer Grey. She spends most of the movie attempting to narc on Ferris rather than enjoying her own beautiful day. She is angry and determined until…she meets a "bad boy" at the county jail, played complete with bloodshot eyes by Charlie Sheen.

Taken aback, their mom pushed back. "Jeanie, the sister? Why?"

The son answers, "She just changes the most. She starts out, like, having it in for Ferris. Really, having it in for EVERYONE. And then she just like figures it out." The daughter adds, "Yeah, in the end she was rooting for Ferris. She came the farthest from where she started and she's the one who kinda saved him."

Jennifer Grey meets Charlie Sheen in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, Tvoldy23

Gobsmacked, I turned to Reddit for more answers. In the subreddit r/movies, someone recently posted, "Something I noticed about Ferris Bueller's Day Off." They then proceed to drive the Cameron theory forward. "At the start of the film, Cameron is in bed sickly and not really confident in himself, but as the movie progresses, he starts to get more confidence, and by the end, he gains the courage to stand up to his father."

A Redditor replies with this thoughtful answer: "I've heard it called a flat character arc when the protagonist doesn't change but is instead the catalyst for those around them to change. It's hard to pull off but is often the most satisfying kind of character. Ted Lasso (especially in season one) is a good example."

Others echo that idea, offering up characters like Forrest Gump and The Dude from The Big Lebowski. They stayed exactly the same while the world or others in their lives changed around them. It's described on a YouTube clip as "The moment you realize the main character is not actually the main character."

The movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off is dissected. www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, CinemaStix

This would give credence to the twins' opinion. But I'd never heard anyone choose Jeanie before, and they weren't swayed by Grey's performance in Dirty Dancing because they haven't seen it yet. When pressed one more time, their answer didn't change. "No doubt, it's the sister. She should have a spinoff." Their mom was so proud and we all totally agree.

Internet

9 things that make English particularly 'weird' among the world's languages

Did you know that English uses more sounds than almost every other language?

English is objectively a weird language.

In a world of 8 billion people who speak thousands of different languages, it's fascinating to learn about how languages differ from one another. Even just among the most spoken languages in the world, there are completely different alphabets, scripts, phonetics, grammar rules, and more that bear little relationship to one another.

The world has not yet collectively decided on a universal language, but English has become the default language in many international gatherings and business communications. For better or for worse, learning English is valuable, but as many English language learners find, it's…well…weird.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Rob Words' YouTube channel "for lovers and learners of English" explores all aspects of the English language, including what makes it "weird."

Here are 9 reasons English stands out as an oddity among the world's languages:

1. English has has a lot of sounds, comparatively

English has 44 phonemes, or distinct sounds, that we put together to form our words. The average for languages worldwide is 25 to 30. A lot of that discrepancy is due to English having a lot of different vowel sounds. And English includes some rare sounds that are found in very few other languages, such as the "th" sound (both in "the" and in "three") and the ubiquitous-in-American-English-but-rare-in-other-languages "er" sound.

2. The way we form questions

In English, to change a statement into a question, we switch the order of the subject and the verb. "She is an architect," becomes "Is she an architect?" That's unusual among the world's languages. According to Rob Words, only 1.4% of languages do that kind of switcheroo to form questions.

the word do, meaningless doDo you? Do you?Giphy GIF by Paramount+

3. Our meaningless "do"

This is one that native English speakers likely never think about but is confusing for those trying to learn. We have our "do" that means doing something. But we also have "do" that we just toss into questions for no apparent reason. For instance, "You like coffee," doesn't become "You like coffee?" It becomes "Do you like coffee?" We also use it with "not" as in "I do not like coffee." But that "do" serves no purpose except to confuse English learners. We could just say "I not like coffee," but we don't.

4. Phrasal verbs

If there's one thing I learned teaching English in Japan, it's that phrasal verbs we use in everyday language make no sense whatsoever. Why do we say that an alarm "goes off" instead of "goes on"? Why do we "get in" a car but "get on" a bus? Why does "looking up" something have a totally different meaning than "looking at" something or "looking into" something, and how are people supposed to know which added preposition fits which meaning?

jon favreau car GIFGiphy

5. Our lack of gendered words

Many languages have masculine and feminine words, grammar rules, etc. But English is almost entirely devoid of such linguistic devices. We have gendered pronouns, but that's it. That's different than most Indo-European languages, which employ some kind of grammatical gender rules.

6. Pronoun reliance

Speaking of gendered pronouns, another thing that sets English apart is our reliance on them. Many languages don't use pronouns as much as we do, and only about 10% of languages have obligatory pronouns like English. We don't say "am hungry," we say "I am hungry." We don't say "Like chocolate," we say "I/we/you/etc. like chocolate." That's totally natural for us, but it's unusual.

English spelling, spelling beeSpelling in English is so hard we have competitions.Giphy

7. "Silly" spelling

We all know this one. Our spelling "rules" are like the flippin' Wild West. Or as Rob Words puts it "a monstrosity." Our silent letters, the way different combinations make letters have different sounds, but not in any way consistently—it's truly bonkers. "I don’t know of another language that has tried to create a written form that represents the sounds of that language and failed so spectacularly," Rob shares.

8. Tenses

This one is a little nerdy, but hear him out. "So far as linguists have researched it, English’s present tense is like no other," Rob says. "Because English is the only language in the whole world where the present tense only requires you to alter the third person singular form for regular verbs."

Example: I smell. You smell. They smell. But he/she/it smells. That added "s" just with those specific pronouns is weird.

smelly, bad smellI smell. You smell. He smells.Giphy

9. Articles

People learning English have to learn the subtle nuances of when to use "the" and when to use "a" or "an." Apparently, German is worse on this front, but many languages don't have any articles or anything equivalent. So yeah, weird.

10. Things we're missing (BONUS)

Rob Words actually listed 10 oddities, but the last one was technically just an absence of things. There are some things other languages have that English doesn't. For instance, we have aunts and uncles, but we don't have a gender-neutral umbrella term for that position in the family. We have mom/dad/parents and grandma/grandpa/grandparents, but then aunt/uncle/????s. We also don’t have a word for the day after tomorrow or the day before yesterday, but many other languages do. And so on and so forth.

It's official: English truly is weird. Nothing but the utmost respect to everyone trying to learn it.

Joy

People cheer on a group of adorable ducklings 'working up the courage' to jump off bridge

"For anyone who identifies with the 'last duck,' you got this."

@abbydecter/TikTok

More videos like this, please

When picturing the wildlife of New York City, pigeons and rats are likely to be at top of mind, not ducks. However, the rivers in Central Park and Prospect Park are teeming with them. During the spring and summer, you can expect to see waddlings of little ducklings out making their debut.

And thanks to a video (aptly captioned “hopecore”) posted to TikTok by a publicist named Abby Decter, we get to witness the most wholesome interaction between 10 little ducklings getting ready to take a plunge into the Husdon and a group of onlookers cheering them on.

One by one, the ducklings “worked up the courage” to take the leap to join their mama in the water as the crowd whooped and yelled “go go go!” Eventually only two shyer ducklings remained, but even they mustered up the gumption after a while (perhaps they responded to the encouragement of their fans).


"The feeling was electric, everyone just stopped what they were doing to watch. [It was] just one of those moments where everyone comes together," Decter told Newsweek.

Indeed, just witnessing the love shared for these sweet babies seemed to be a precious gift that viewers immensely appreciated.

"We don't want war, all of us just want to watch baby ducks."

"They're so tiny and brave.”

"I'm so proud of them.”

"For anyone who identifies with the 'last duck' you got this. They all got in the water safely, and everyone's timing is different and their progress is NOT less valid."

“If this doesn't prove animal sentience, they have fear, they overcome it, they have courage, etc., I don’t know what does.”

Yes, nature hardwired us to get the feels when we see cuteness (who wasn’t obsessed over little Moo Deng, amirite?), but another part of why we get so invested in the journeys of these little creatures—as is evidenced by this video and the comments it inspired—is that we see ourselves in them.

What a sweet reminder of just how connected all beings on this planet really are. Wishing these critters a safe time on the rest of their travels, including when they set out on their own adventures in a couple month’s time.