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Woman shares the powerful impact of a 'hardcore' gym bro's words of encouragement

Previous experience had her feeling nervous when the man approached her at the gym, but what he said brought her to tears.

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@steph5468/TikTok

Steph shares how a few simple words made all the difference.

Going to the gym can be a daunting prospect for a lot of people. It shouldn't be—the whole point of going to the gym is to exercise, which is something that should universally be applauded—but sometimes it can feel like there's pressure to be at a certain fitness level or have a certain physique before stepping foot in the door.

For people who are heavier, gym culture can be especially intimidating. Unfortunately, not everyone remembers to practice kindness and fatphobia appears to remain a fairly tolerated prejudice. That shouldn't stop people with big bodies from enjoying all that fitness centers have to offer, but all too often, it does.

It hasn't stopped a woman named Steph from working out regularly at her gym, albeit with some trepidation. As she shared in a hugely viral TikTok, she's experienced some unkind behavior at the gym that made her nervous when a man approached her recently. But her description of the encounter ultimately demonstrated how powerful a few positive words can be.

In a video made from her car just after leaving the gym, Steph explained that a "hardcore" gym-goer who is "super tough" and covered in tattoos had came up to talk to her. Her initial response was to be afraid of what he was going to say to her, based on previous experience. She shared in the video how hard it's been to stay steady with her workouts, especially with medications she's on making her body hold onto weight, but she's been working hard to be consistent. She steeled herself for whatever he might say.

She didn't expect it to be this: "I've seen you in here every week, almost every day. I've seen you in here every week—and I'm proud of you." Nor did she expect that such simple words of encouragement could make such a huge impact.

Watch her tell the story:

@steph5468

#gymprogress #workputjourney #keepgoing #healingjourney

People had a lot to say about the interchange and Steph's emotional response to it.

"People do not realize, how one person can change everything," wrote one commenter.

"Girl you are CRUSHING IT," wrote another. "That man you encountered is what real men do. Encourage. Support. Be human! It isn’t hard! ❤️"

"No one knows your story, your struggles. You're doing the dang thing and that takes courage and strength. You. Keep. Going. I'm proud of you too!" shared another.

More and more words of encouragement flooded Steph's comment section, and people on Upworthy's Instagram page weighed in as well.

"I'm a fitness coach and this made me cry 😢 just having someone say they are proud of you can move mountains for so many of us who didn’t/ don’t get the praise growing up," wrote one person.

"Who knows? He may be going through something too and saw a determined, consistent, fellow traveler," wrote another. "You share your Truth so powerfully. You may not know how many people will see this and be encouraged by your honesty. I’m in awe that you show up for YOURSELF every day. And as for the rude and ill-mannered? Well they struggle too—just to be decent kind human beings. Some people have not been shown Empathy and therefore do not know how to use that muscle. You are beautiful, smart, articulate, wise and a woman who knows where she’s headed. Keep walking, head up knowing there are many many more who do empathize, who see you and are on your side❤️"

"It’s amazing to think about how this man’s single act of kindness, spread through you to affect us all in a positive way," shared another. "This made all of our days, and I’m crying tears of joy while I write this. Please thank him from all of us the next time you see him, if you’re comfortable with that. And thank you for sharing! ❤️"

Indeed, thanks to both Steph and the hardcore, tattooed gym bro for being wonderful examples for us all. We never know what a small act of kindness or a few words of encouragement will do to make someone's life significantly better, but it's always worth trying.


This article originally appeared on 9.5.23

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All In: 5 Ways This Week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples we found this week across the internet.

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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture an elaborately-themed birthday party for a dog, or maybe a person giving a detailed presentation on why she's "Team Conrad." (IYKYK) Or maybe you picture a woman who takes up running, showing up every day to push herself and completely changing her body and her mindset in the process. Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Someone who does something with 100 percent total commitment. Going “all in” means giving your all—going completely over the top, no second guessing, no holding back. Just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. And when people go “all in,” something truly special usually happens as a result.


The internet abounds with examples of people giving it their all—whatever it is. In this roundup, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are sentimental, some are silly, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100 percent is truly the only way to leave a mark on this world. Get ready: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

1. This unbelievable high note 

@sarahhardwigofficial Alone by #heart at #crosseyedcritters on @Joe Noto ‘s last night! Thanks for everything #karaoke #80smusic #fyp ♬ original sound - sarahhardwigofficial

Most of us music enthusiasts can agree that the song “Alone” by the American rock band Heart is one of the most passionate (and technically challenging) songs you can ever sing. It’s so challenging, in fact, that only singers with really incredible range—Celine Dion, for example, or vocal powerhouse Kelly Clarkson— dare to take it on. (If you don’t know the song by name, listen to any one of these clips and you’ll recognize it after a second or two.) So imagine our surprise, scrolling through TikTok, when we see a young singer covering “Alone” and dropping the high note so casually it looks like she sang this song out of pure spite. You almost can’t believe what you’re hearing—but it’s real. And the comments section is full of people who are completely gobsmacked (including a producer from American Idol). We just know we’re going to see this girl on stage again soon.

The ultimate healthy food collab

You already know our friends at All In—they’ve got some seriously tasty snacks that are not only healthy and affordable (scroll to the bottom of this article to see how you can snag a free box), they help fund food banks, gardens, community fridges, meal programs, and other amazing things. Lately, they’ve managed to take their awesomeness up a notch by teaming up with Fresh Truck, a weekly mobile market that brings fresh and affordable produce to neighborhoods in the Boston area. Fresh truck hosts weekly markets, pop-up events, and an online storefront, all to help strengthen communities who need it the most. They’re going all in on local nutrition and food access, and we’re here for it.

This fairy-themed proposal 

@kaylasuttons My sister's suprise fairy themed proposal was a huge success! Glad I could help organize it 💜🧚🏾‍♀️ @Halfcourt @Sway with Samone #fairycore #proposal #engaged #2027bride #BlackTikTok ♬ Ordinary (Wedding Version) - Alex Warren

Marriage is kind of the ultimate example of going “all in.” Think about it—you’re committing the rest of your life to someone til death do you part. That’s why when someone plans a super outrageous proposal, like the one you’re about to watch, that just makes everything all the more special. In this video, creator Kayla Sutton recorded her sister’s surprise wedding proposal, a fairy-themed event that the groom had been planning (according to a separate storytime video) since March of this year. He enlisted family and friends, decorated the venue, supplied food, and had the guests wear fairy-themed costumes, complete with elven ears, for the big moment. Now that’s dedication. Kudos to this dude—he went all out with the proposal in order to go “all in” on their relationship. (And she said “yes,” by the way!)

This "deeply personal" wedding tribute

Okay, not to make this entire article all about weddings, but this is a truly meaningful example of someone going “all in.” Content creator Kristin Marino (now Kristin Schnacky) got married in New York City last week and got, in her words, a surprise that made her bawl her eyes out: Several current and former members of the New York City Fire Department (FDNY) who showed up to honor her late father, a former firefighter who was killed in the line of duty during the September 11th terrorist attacks. The firefighters from Station One (the same firehouse where Marino’s father worked) transported Marino in a firetruck from the Plaza Hotel where she was staying to her wedding venue, where her soon-to-be-husband was waiting at the altar. “It truly was symbolism of my dad walking me down the aisle,” Marino shared. “I know it’s exactly how [my dad] would [have] wanted it.” We’re not crying, you’re crying.

Cat Town 

We can’t tell you why this thing exists, only that it does, and that it’s so elaborate, so detailed, and so expertly created we’re having a hard time even wrapping our heads around it. Here goes: Xing is a Chinese content creator who has spent the past several years creating (and documenting the creation of) an elaborate habitat for his pet cats, called Cat Town. We’re not talking about a room filled with toys and scratching posts, by the way: Xing has actually made a complete functioning replica of a human city, scaled down to accommodate cats. Cat Town has a working subway station, a supermarket, a theatre, and a restaurant (named MeowDonalds). Just…wow. And nicely done. Talk about a passion project.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Simply sign up with your phone number, pick two boxes of any flavor of All In bars at Sprouts, and then text a picture of your receipt through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box. Enjoy!

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Harvard linguist explains perfectly logical reason Boomers insist on using ellipses in texts

Once you understand this, texting with your mom will get a lot easier.

Photo credit: Canva

Linguist explains simple reason Boomers use ellipses in texts all the time

One generation's texting habit that baffles every generation is the Boomers' seemingly excessive use of ellipses. Do you have more to say, Aunt Judy, or did you just accidentally press the period key too many times? Maybe it's for a dramatic pause or to put emphasis on a point? This is truly a mystery that leaves every generation below them confused about what is meant by the dreaded "dot dot dot."

Texting etiquette differs with every generation. Gen X and most Millennials use fairly proper grammar and punctuation throughout a text message exchange. Every new sentence starts with a capital letter, there are strategically placed Oxford commas to ensure there's little room for misunderstandings, and sentences end with an appropriate punctuation mark.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Joyful moments captured: A cheerful day out!Photo credit: Canva

When it comes to Gen Z, they find that ending text messages with proper punctuation indicates that the person they're texting is being passive-aggressive. They also text in shorthand and emojis that can feel a bit like you need a special decoder ring to decipher the messages. But texting in an encrypted way can be chalked up to youth, though the same can't be said when it comes to Boomers. Or can it?

Harvard linguist and author of the book Algospeak, Adam Aleksic, breaks down why so many Boomers use ellipses when texting. It's surprisingly not as complicated or dramatic as one may imagine. In a viral video posted last year on TikTok, Aleksic explains his theory for the texting etiquette of Boomers.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Two generations connecting through their smartphones.Photo credit: Canva

"You know how older people tend to use the 'Boomer ellipses' whenever they're texting? There's always a random 'dot dot dot' in the middle of their messages?" Aleksic asks. "Well, that's because they grew up following different rules for informal communication. Nowadays, if you want to separate an idea, you just press enter and start a new line with a new thought, but it made less sense to do that for writing postcards or letters, where you had to save space, so people back in the day learned to separate thoughts by using ellipses."

Aleksic explains that this is also true for when phones first started allowing text messaging. You were charged by the message, so ellipses made it more efficient to convey all the thoughts in one message instead of multiple ones. SMS texting also had a character limit, unlike current phones, where you can essentially write a novella in a single message without your phone automatically breaking it up.

@etymologynerd this is so interesting... i prefer line breaks though #linguistics #language #communication #technology #texting ♬ original sound - etymologynerd

Today's texting standards typically mean people separate their thoughts by sending multiple messages for separate thoughts, though that annoys some people. If separating thoughts means you'll be sending no less than five texts in quick succession, it's likely best to just space down to make the text longer, rather than bombarding an unsuspecting friend.

When it comes down to it, younger generations have adapted to the new standard, embracing the unlimited text option, while Boomers haven't. Due to this discrepancy in text etiquette, the ellipses used by Boomers throw people for a loop.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Elderly man working.Photo credit: Canva

"That means the Boomer ellipses became redundant, which is why they cause confusion today. They violate what we call 'the maximum quantity;' they add more information than necessary, so they appear to imply something more than the intended meaning. Most of the time, that comes off to younger people as hesitation, annoyance, or passive aggressiveness because that's how we use the ellipses," the linguist shares.

So, no, your grandma isn't mad at you or avoiding telling you something; according to Aleksic, she's just trying to send you multiple messages in one. There's no hidden emotion behind the ellipses for Boomers; it's simply a habit left over from their younger years.

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Gen X-ers reveal the advice they'd give their past selves. Younger generations, listen up.

"There was no reason to carry my struggles alone."

Photo Credit: Canva

A time machine sits in between two people who have visited their younger selves.

The 80s and 90s were a truly magical time, but it wasn't all flowers and unicorns. Kids from that era faced their share of struggles, and came out the other end better for it. We often hear that with experience comes wisdom, but once we garner that wisdom, oftentimes it's too late to actually implement it into our lives. If only we had a time machine, so many of us think. If only…

For example, as a proud Gen X-er, I'd take that time machine and pop right on back to 1995, wherein I was convinced to wax my eyebrows so thin they looked like pencil marks. I did it so many times, they never grew back.

thin eyebrows, waxing, time machine, gen x, beauty trend A girl with thin eyebrows. Giphy

But on a deeper level, (though the eyebrow situation was quite deep,) I'd love the chance to go back and tell the late teen to late 20s version of me: go easier on everything. Heartbreak, body image, rejection, success status. I took every break-up, every failed audition, every time I stepped on a scale so hard that it was like an anvil of self-shame dropping on my head daily. What I wouldn't give to be able to wrap my arms around myself and say, "Good job." Or, regarding heartbreak, "If this were a screenplay, this guy wouldn't even make it into the rewrites."

If we live a relatively full life, on average, we've got just over two billion seconds. Sounds like a lot, but when you put it in perspective, it's a blip. The Earth itself is estimated to be over four billion years old, and we are just a tiny flash in its ever-changing pan. I'd love to go back and tell myself to make those flashes count—each and every one of them.

What if, in examining the ideas of what we and others would tell the younger versions of ourselves, we could use it to somewhat heal our mistakes, even if only metaphorically? On the subreddit r/whatif, a person asks, "What if, Gen X-ers you could go back and talk to your younger self from the ’80s or ’90s?" They add, "What would you say about how life turned out? Are you where you thought you’d be, or did life take a different path than you imagined?"

Some people get into the logistics of it—how if you alter one thing, the rest will unravel. "I would not change a thing because I like the person I am today. Once you start unwinding the tapestry of your life and try to change things, it will change the person you are today."

butterfly, butterfly effect, time machine, gen x A psychedelic butterfly flaps its wings. Giphy GIF by Trippyogi

Some of the answers are downright practical. "$100 investment in Apple back then would be about $3 mil today. So I’d certainly not spend so much of my birthday money on Nintendo."

This Redditor combined a heartfelt answer with a pragmatic one: "I'd love to talk to my family members! Everyone who isn't around anymore. It would be amazing to spend a day with each of them again. That said, maybe I do talk to myself, and maybe I make myself repeat the following sentence over and over until I never forget it: 'As soon as you hear about Bitcoin, start mining it.'"

Just a couple of weeks ago, another thread popped up and opened the question up to all generations beyond Gen X. They posed a similar query: "Knowing what you know now - if you could go back in time, what would you tell your young adult self?"

Many responses are absolutely poignant. Despite the fact that we don't have time machines—unless there's a DeLorean idling somewhere near Christopher Lloyd—we can still use this advice going forward: "You don’t have to be perfect to be loved or respected. Show up, try your best, and don’t shrink yourself for people who wouldn’t do the same for you."

Christopher Lloyd, Back to the Future, time machine, DeLorean, hindsight Christopher Lloyd means business in a scene from Back to The Future. Giphy Back to the future flux capacitor GIF, Universal Pictures

Commenters did not hold back. "I'd grab my younger self by the shoulders and say, 'Relax. Like really, chill out.' I'd tell them, Hey, it's okay not to have it all figured out. No one does. Not even the people who look like they do."

This person was very direct and many, including myself, could relate: "I’d tell myself to not ignore the red flags that were everywhere I looked. Focus on money and not that s----y relationship you thought you wanted."

And this comment truly allowed for vulnerability: "Great question. I think I would tell my younger adult self to seek professional help sooner and not be so afraid to open up to trusted people. There was no reason to carry my struggles alone. That self-imposed isolation was my biggest mistake. It was painful, alienating, and it held me back for more than a decade."

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A guy revealed the 12 simple things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

If it's not a dog, a buddy, a beer, and a cool stick, we don't want it.

Nolan Reid / TikTok
A guy definitively listed the 12 things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

Minimalism is on the rise, not just in design and architecture, but in the way people live their lives. Having fewer things, sporting simpler styles, and enjoying the fundamental good things in life is cool now. Regular people who aren't influencers post fewer updates to social media. The world is just so loud and chaotic, more people are getting satisfaction out of just... chilling out and existing.

There's an old joke/meme that goes something like this: "Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting." Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures. TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.

Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple things.


@nolanreid7

It’s that simple #beer #mustache #muzzymade



People loved Nolan's list—so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love." The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us! The video was such a hit that Reid put out two sequels where he added things like skipping rocks, throwing a thumbs up in a photo, or making something from scratch. "A dog" seems to make an appearance in every single video, and for good reason: Dogs make guys happy!

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

@nolanreid7

And many more #littlethings #muzzymade

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world—influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, and relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid: taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything. And I love that all the things listed are timeless. They were enjoyed by men, and all people, in the 50s, in the 90s, and they'll be enjoyed by people 50 years from now, too.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts

A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

@nolanreid7

And many more #littlethings #men #happy #muzzymade

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life." And now, I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Linguists explain why some slang words come and go quickly while others have staying power

"On fleek" was a flash in the pan, but "cool" has stuck around for nearly a century.

WIRED/YouTube

Linguists Nicole Holliday and Ben Zimmer explain the history of slang terms on WIRED.

If you're a parent of a Gen Alpha or Gen Z kid, or spend any significant amount of time with young people, you've likely found yourself befuddled by some of the slang terms coming out of their mouths—skibidi, sigma, 6-7, drip, rizz. And if you aren't around many young people, now is not really an ideal time to try to learn their slang because it changes so quickly.

Why do some slang terms stick around while others don't? Linguists Nicole Holliday and Ben Zimmer shared some of the history of slang with WIRED and explained what gives certain words staying power while others fizzle out quickly. For instance, several years ago, "on fleek" (meaning something attractive or perfectly executed) took off but didn't really stay in the popular vernacular for long. "Cool," on the other hand, has been around so long people don't even think of it as a slang term, even though it is one.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Holiday and Zimmer start off by sharing some delightful insults people used on the streets of London in 1699, which included words like booberkin, clodpate, dulpickle, nigmenog, and jobbernoll. We don't hear any of those words today, but they were listed in one of the first English slang dictionaries published that year, giving us a glimpse of what English rapscallions at the turn of the 18th century were calling one another.

Ironically, though, the publishing of that slang dictionary may very well have been what spelled those words' demise.

"From the earliest recorded slang in English, one thing we see is that these words can have a really short shelf life, just from too many people knowing about it," says Zimmer.

fetch, slang, mean girls, slang words, linguistics, communication Remember when Gretchen Wieners tried to make "fetch" a new slang word? Giphy

That's because slang is usually coined and spreads as an "in-group" signifier. Young people in particular start using a word or phrase that older people don't, and it serves as a way of saying, "We're a new generation of our own, not just a reflection of our parents." But if older people start using those words or phrases, they no longer serve that purpose and lose their appeal. In the age of the Internet, that means slang comes and goes very quickly because we're all privy to it.

"The whole process of slang becoming popular and then immediately passe gets accelerated when you can spread new language around really quickly," Holiday explains. "So if you're on social media, you might see a lot of slangy flashes in the pan."

A good example of this is "YOLO." The term, which stands for You Only Live Once, came from a Drake song and was a huge slang term in 2011-2012. Young people were using it, saying it, hashtagging it, etc., but it didn't last.

yolo, slang, linguistics, language, words YOLO came and went quickly, thanks to older people picking it up. Giphy

"I wrote something about YOLO in the summer of 2012," says Zimmer, and I remember it was already getting played out, and it was just months after the song came out. But then I really knew that it was over for YOLO when I heard that Katie Couric on her new talk show was doing a segment called 'What's your YOLO?' where you were supposed to come on and talk about things you wanna do before you die…That was really the death knell for it."

Other words have quickly gone from cool to cringe in a relatively short period of time as well, such as "cheugy." If you're over a certain age, you may have missed the cheugy train altogether because it really went by that fast. It was a word Gen Zers used to describe Millennials who were "off trend," but as soon as Millennials themselves used it (and had a New York Times piece written about it) "cheugy" itself became cheugy, and the word quickly lost its slang status among the generation that popularized it.

cheugy, slang, communication, language, linguistics, SNL "Cheugy" became cheugy once adults got a hold of it. Giphy

"On fleek" is another flash in the pan slang term that got ruined by overexposure. Coined by a 17-year-old girl from Chicago who described her eyebrows as "on fleek" in a viral Vine video, it was all the rage for hot minute, but when brands started using it—IHOP even posted a tweet saying "Pancakes on fleek"—it got sent to the vault where slang words go to die.

But what about the slang that doesn't die? "Booze" is a perfect example, as it's been used since the early 16th century as a slang word for alcohol and is still going strong. So is "cool." Starting around 1930, the word became a slang term for anything good, and with the exception of a dip in popularity during the 1960s (when good became "groovy" for a bit there), it has managed to maintain its status as slang that crosses generations. Linguist Donna Jo Napoli believes cool has held on due to its "underspecified" nature, meaning it can be adapted to lots of different contexts.

cool, slang, language, linguistics, communication "Cool" has had staying power through multiple generations. Giphy

But really, what makes a slang word stick and when it's socially acceptable for different people to use it depends on a lot of different social factors, says Zimmer. It may be impossible to predict which slang words will stick, which will fly by quickly, which will eventually make a comeback, and which will die a permanent death, but I think there's one thing we can all agree on: "Booberkin" most definitely deserves a revival.

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13 people share the exact moment they realized happiness doesn't come from stuff

"Consumption will not make you happy."

Image via Canva/Aflo Images

People share the exact moment they realized happiness and contentment doesn't come from stuff.

"Money can't buy you happiness." It's a phrase that's true, to an extent. A 2023 study found that happiness levels continued to rise for people who made a salary of $100,000—but after that, levels plateaued.

Searching for true happiness in material things like money, cars, and clothes can be a letdown. "When we buy new things we get a dopamine rush from the anticipation, but once the item is in our hands that high fades fast and we start looking for the next best thing," explains Eliana Bonaguro, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor in Bonita Springs, Florida.

And people are sharing the exact moments and specific material things that have failed to satisfy them. These are 13 of their real-life stories:

anticonsumerism and happiness TikTok · howdoewedo🪼 www.tiktok.com

"Finally hit that financial milestone - thought I'd feel safe but just raised the bar and kept stressing." -howdoewedo

"My 60 yr old husband and I finally had the money to build a big 3,000 sq ft house. It was five bedrooms, finished basement with a gourmet kitchen. We had the idea that our children who were spread across the country could come home to visit and stay and saw this as a big flex. We very quickly HATED the big house. Our children are very successful and have busy lives that make us very hard to travel home to us, no fault of their own. We found ourselves rattling around in a big empty house that felt cold and stark. We sold the house and bought a cozy three bedroom house and we couldn’t be happier. We now travel to our children ❤️" -KristySor1221

"A couple of videogames for the Switch that I thought I would be more into but I have played them for less than 3 hours total. Goodbye around 170 dollars." -Aaagal

"I had a $13,000 check and I blew it all in seven weeks. I regret every single purchase because I was spinning the wheel of cause and effect hoping it would point to meaning. Spoilers: it never will." -Appropriate_Fan3532

"Designer goods. I started earning enough money I could shop at Holt Renfrew every weekend. Then I got tired of having things because I realized I enjoy having a simple wardrobe and decluttered space over anything. I’m mentally and financially much better off now." -emeraldvirgo

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Buying a house in cash (no mortgage), thought it would bring some sense of relief from the struggle but the struggle is still a struggle. That said it is one less thing to worry about." -User unknown

"Straightening my 🦷… no one really seemed to notice 😳." -sunnydelite

"Rolex. The faux scarcity, the absurd waitlists, the whole circus of geezers and wannabe gangsters hoarding them as trophies. I flipped mine within a month and picked up something quieter, less showy.. but just as good - arguably better - and I haven’t looked back." -User unknown

"Buying more and more clothes. The trends are not worth your hard earned money and now I’m either giving it all away or donating it." -xxxxxxxtina

clothes, clothes shopping, buying clothes, more clothes, clothing Woman buying clothes.Image via Canva/gilaxia

"A $175,000 sports car. The anticipation and excitement of chasing it was actually better than the reality of owning it." -TigerResponsible2277

"Got my dream LV (Louis Vuitton) bag, but when I got it I was like..'ohh ok' guess what im still using my local bags 🫣." -Jeiklein

"Getting an apartment. there’s no going back from not having responsibilities, it’s lonely sometimes, there’s always something new to fix, buy, or save for." -muvvaphukka

"All of it. The house. The car. The expensive piece of paper on the wall. The man. The dogs. The fence. The dream. I’ve been wanting my current car for 5-6 years. It was never available and they wouldn’t let you order it. I finally got one 3 months ago and what now? I don’t like it nearly like I expected. My driver seat was much more comfortable in my old, still very nice, car. We bought the ‘forever house’ 3 years ago, and I hate the location. I think about our old townhouse we loved for a decade all the time. I can’t keep up with this space on my own. So. What now? I was told if I get these things and do good and look good and be good, I’ll be happy. I’ve never been more miserable in my life." -keekspeaks

unhappy, not happy, miserable, sad, struggling Unhappy and unfulfilled woman.Image via Canva/Liza Summer

How to let go of associating happiness with stuff

Struggling with finding fulfillment and happiness outside of material possessions? Here are three things to try:

  1. Embrace mindfulness and gratitude.
    If you are struggling to find happiness outside of material things, Alyson Curtis, LMHC, therapist and founder at Attuned Therapy, recommends trying this mindfulness exercise: "Do you relate to your life with a constant feeling of 'not enoughness?' Or while you do the dishes for the fifty-thousandth time, do you notice the tiny bubbles on your hand, the running water against your skin, and the fact that you have working hands and are still able to use them?"
  2. Prioritize experiences over possessions.
    "Research consistently shows that experiences (like travel, concerts, or even small everyday adventures) bring more lasting happiness than buying material goods," says Jamey Maniscalco, Ph.D, neuroscientist and founder of Manifest Wellness Consulting. "That’s partly because they strengthen memory circuits and can be relived long after they’re over."
  3. Lean into relationships.
    "Social connection is one of the most reliable predictors of happiness we know of. Talking with a close friend, sharing a meal, or expressing appreciation boosts oxytocin and dopamine in ways that outlast the high of buying something new," says Maniscalco.
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