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Teachers

I asked dozens of teachers why they're quitting. Their answers are heartbreaking.

These are teachers who love kids and love teaching. We need to listen to them.

I asked dozens of teachers why they're quitting. Their answers are heartbreaking.

When I was a child, I used to line up my dolls and stuffed animals on my bedroom floor, pull out my mini-chalkboard and in my best teacher's voice, “teach” them reading, writing and arithmetic. Pretending to be a teacher was my favorite kind of imaginative play. In college, I majored in Secondary Education and English and became an actual teacher. I loved teaching, but when I started having kids of my own, I quit to stay home with them. When they got to school age, I decided to homeschool and never went back to a traditional classroom.

I kept my foot in the proverbial school door, however. Over the years, I’ve followed the education world closely, listened to teacher friends talk about their varied experiences and written countless articles advocating for better pay and support for teachers. I've seen a teacher burnout crisis brewing for a while. Then the pandemic hit, and it was like a hurricane hitting a house of cards. Teachers are not OK, folks. Many weren’t OK before the pandemic, but they’re really not OK now.

A recent poll from the National Education Association found that 90% of its members say that feeling burned out is a serious problem, 86% have seen more teachers quitting or retiring early since the pandemic began and 80% say that job openings that remain unfilled have added to the workload of those who are still teaching. And more than half of teachers say they will leave the profession earlier than they had planned.

I checked in with several dozen teachers who have quit recently or are close to quitting, and the response was overwhelming. Over and over I heard the same sentiments: I went into teaching because I enjoy working with kids and I want to make a difference. I love teaching. I love my students. These are teachers who throw their whole heart into their work.

So why are they quitting? The reasons are plentiful—and heartbreaking.

Low pay is an issue many of us think of when it comes to teachers, but it's not the main thing pushing teachers to quit. One teacher told me that in his school district, garbage collectors make $10K more per year and have better benefits than teachers with graduate degrees and a decade of experience, but that wasn't his primary reason for wanting to leave. There’s no question teachers deserve to be paid more—a lot more—but teachers don’t choose to become teachers for the money, and most don’t quit because of the money, either. It’s the issues that make the wages not worth it.

One of those issues is a lack of recognition that teachers are actually highly skilled professionals. “Paying teachers like we are professionals would go a long way,” says Bonny D., an educator in Idaho, “but really it's about trusting us to be able to do our work. Many teachers have Master's degrees or have been teaching for many years, but still aren't listened to or considered experts when it comes to helping students succeed.”

Jessica C. has taught middle and high school English in three different states and resigned in December. She says she loved working with kids and designing curriculum, but she finally left after seeing more and more teacher autonomy get stripped away as standardized testing became the primary focus.

“Despite my years of experience across multiple states and my two graduate degrees in education, I felt like nobody with any real power believed I was actually competent at my job,” she says. “I saw evidence that my students were growing as readers and writers, but at the end of the day the only thing that mattered was hitting a certain number on those state assessments. It was really disheartening to feel like nothing else mattered but that test, and that even though the test itself doesn't resemble any real-world reading or writing skills in any way, it was supposed to be the focus of all of my instruction.

“But let's not forget,” she added, “I also wasn't allowed to look at it at all or even really know what was on it or how it would be scored.”

California elementary school teacher Ann B. shared a similar sentiment: “Teaching over the past decade has lost its charm and sparkle. So many mandates, broken systems, top-down management from people who haven’t spent much time in the classroom made it difficult.“

Sarah K. teaches high school history and AP psychology in Tennessee. Unlike most of the teachers I spoke to, she is having one of the best school years of her career, but she shares concern for the state of public education in general. “I think a lot of teachers feel attacked and are afraid and are feeling like the job can't be done anymore,” she told me. “As a society, we have lost our ability to trust each other, and it is manifesting itself in not trusting teachers to teach, do their jobs and follow our hearts to love and inspire kids.”

In addition to micromanagement from administrators, classroom control from legislators and demonization from parents, I had two teachers share with me that they’d been through a school shooting. ESL teachers from different states shared that their school districts refused to put resources toward programs that would help their students succeed and basically told them that those students didn’t matter. Other teachers feel like their own lives don’t even matter.

“A teacher passed away from COVID in January in a different building,” says Jenn M., a 14-year veteran teacher from Pennsylvania. “The kids had the day off. The teachers came in and had no directive of what to do. We got tested for COVID, and that was it. I literally feel like if I die, nobody in the district would care about me. I want to feel important and impactful at work.”

And then there's the mental load that has always existed for teachers but has definitely been exacerbated by the pandemic. Teaching is not 8:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. with the summers and holiday breaks off. That’s just not how it works; not for any teacher I’ve ever known. And it's taxing work on every level. You’re working with dozens if not hundreds of kids every day. You care about them and their well-being, you’re trying to teach them whatever your subject is but also helping nurture them into fully functional human beings. You have constantly changing expectations coming from every side.

“Teaching is all-encompassing,” says an elementary school teacher from New Mexico who wishes to remain anonymous. “It is seriously draining emotionally and physically. It's not just a job that is easily turned off at the end of the day when you go home.

“Everything falls on the teachers,” she adds. “We are stuck in a no-win situation in the middle of a societal crisis. Schools have been pushing higher academics at earlier ages and the need to teach basic social skills, norms and niceties is higher than ever. Our roles and the demands on us are just increasing.”

Bonny D. agrees. “There is a mental load that goes with teaching,” she says. “It's very difficult to specifically identify. It's the workload, it's the constant changing of what's required of us as legislation changes, it's the restrictions on what we can teach, the expectation that we will work outside of the paid contract hours, the fact that it's easier to go to work sick than make sub plans, it's micromanaging teenagers, doing extra things in the school with no extra pay, the low morale created by parents who want to dictate what we do in the classroom without ever discussing it with us or volunteering in the classroom themselves.”

And so much of what's expected of teachers is self-contradictory, as Jessica C. points out in a bullet list summary of what teachers have been asked to do over the past few years:

- Differentiate your instruction for every child, but don't deviate from what the textbook says to teach.

- Teach directly from the textbook, word for word and page for page whenever possible, but also spend hours of your time designing a unit plan (even though one is provided in the textbook company's supplementary materials).

- Turn in detailed weekly lesson plans, even though we really just want you to turn the page and read what it says every day.

- Hold every child to high expectations and keep all your instruction and assessment on grade level, but make sure none of them fail, even if they come into your room drastically below grade level.

- Attend regular PLC meetings, but the principal is going to set the agenda and run the whole meeting and you won't really be asked to contribute anything at all. (Again, we're going to ignore that year-long training you got in your last district about the PLC model and just assume you don't know that we're deviating from the model completely.)

- You should be focusing on instruction, not wasting a minute of class time, but we're also going to expect you to collect T-shirt order forms, and fundraiser money, and take your kids down to the cafeteria for school pictures, and fill in for colleagues on your planning period. Oh, and you'll have to stay late several times a grading period so that you can work the gates at athletic events, because your professional performance review will be based on how much you gave to the school above and beyond your job description and contractual obligations.

The pandemic, of course, has made everything worse. Teachers have borne the brunt of all the upheaval in education, not only in having to completely change the way they teach and implement new technologies overnight, but also in dealing with the emotional and developmental challenges their students are facing throughout all of this. The pandemic has also exacerbated and highlighted issues of inequity in education that were already there.

Catlin G. is an intervention specialist who has taught for 18 years, primarily in schools in under-resourced communities. She says that what many districts are now dealing with—attendance and staffing issues, high variability in children's academic growth, a lack of resources—are all too familiar to her and the students she has worked with.

"The pandemic drew a lot of attention to the role of education, but much of it has been focused on issues such as CRT or masking, which have deflected from bigger, long-term problems in schools, such as low literacy rates and crumbling infrastructure. I hope that people don't simply forget about education issues once their kids no longer have to wear masks to school, and begin to think about how we can make education better for all kids."

Some teachers cite student behavioral issues as contributing to their burnout, but most of the teachers I heard from held on in the classroom as long as they felt they could for their students' sake. After all, teachers generally go into teaching because they love kids and want to work with them.

“I never wanted to leave," an elementary school teacher from Washington who quit this year told me. "I cried with my students during my last week in the classroom. Their outpouring of love and understanding melted my heart. I had never felt so conflicted in a decision because I loved the students and my job.”

Between the pandemic throwing classroom teaching into chaos, parents and legislators dictating how and what teachers teach, and increasing assessments and top-down administration creating micromanagement issues, teachers feel like they aren't able to do the jobs they love and signed up for. They're not quitting because they hate teaching—they're quitting because they can't teach under these conditions. It's tragic, truly, and it's up to all of us to throw our support behind educators to stem the crisis a mass exodus of teachers will lead to.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.


Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

Friendship

An NFL reporter was criticized for consoling the losing coach, then fans came out to defend her

"You can call me fake all you want to, honey. I’ve been doing this a long time.”

reporters, journalists, tv, press conference, NFL, football, sports, coach, kindness, humanity

A reporter gave an NFL coach a pep talk after a loss, sparking a firestorm of criticism.

The Jacksonville Jaguars haven't won a playoff game in three years, and have just a handful of postseason victories in their short history. They have never been to a Super Bowl, making them just one of four teams in the NFL never to do so. That's why, after fielding one of the franchise's best teams in years, their latest quick playoff exit was a hard one for fans and the team itself to swallow. It was heartbreaking and gut-wrenching for nearly everyone in the Jacksonville area.

After suffering a narrow defeat at the hands of the Buffalo Bills this past weekend, head coach of the Jaguars Liam Coen took the podium to answer questions and accept accountability for the loss. Business as usual, despite how demoralized he was feeling.


One of the questions, however, was far from the usual fare. A Jacksonville Free Press associate editor named Lynn Jones-Turpin raised her hand and chose to use her time to give the coach words of encouragement instead of a hardball question.

"I’m going to tell you, congratulations on your success, young man," she said. "You hold your head up. You guys have had a most magnificent season. You did a great job out there today. You just hold your head up, OK? Ladies and gentlemen, Duval. You keep it going. We got another season. Much continued success to you and the entire team."

The warm, rousing words had a visible effect on Coen, who began beaming while nodding gracefully. "Thank you, ma'am," he said with genuine appreciation.

Talk about a legendary pep talk. You can watch the roughly 30-second moment here:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The brief interaction was picked up by national sports reporters and celebrated as a wholesome moment of compassion between two professionals.

Adam Schefter of ESPN called it an "awesome" moment. His post highlighting the interview got nearly 20 million views on X.

Commenters found the compassionate exchange extremely refreshing coming from the usually cutthroat world of sports, where reporters and coaches spar and trade passive-aggressive barbs. They're often pitted against each other as enemies, with reporters seeking transparency and accountability and coaches just wanting to be left alone to coach. Coen and Jones-Turpin broke the mold—for one afternoon at least.

"Whoever she works for needs to give her a raise. We need more people like this in the world!" one wrote.

"This really is wonderful. It’s fun watching his facial gyrations while she talks to him like an aunty. You can see the kid in the man. Wonderful."

"Epically classy from that reporter. Not the finish they wanted, but this squad showed heart all year."

"This healed me and I’m not even a Jags fan" someone added.

While not strictly professional, the moment between Coen and Jones-Turpin was a rare thing of beauty. But that didn't stop the curmudgeons from questioning the reporter's professionalism and journalistic integrity.

Many fans (notably, of non-Jaguars teams) and members of legacy media were quick to point out that a reporter consoling a coach after a loss is not a good display of journalism ethics.

Hosts on Fox News Sports Radio said, "This is a No-No. She sounds like a fan."

Jemele Hill, a writer for The Atlantic, wrote on X, " It’s literally the first lesson you learn — you aren’t a fan. You can love sports. You can be a fan of competition and games. But you are absolutely not a fan," while expressing distaste at how Jones-Turpin handled the interaction.

AP reporter Mark Long, in a now deleted post, called the question "embarrassing" and questioned Jones-Turpin' credentials, calling her "fake news."

The back and forth between supporters appreciative of her words and people looking for journalists to hold a hard line in the sand became quite a kerfuffle in social media, racking up millions and millions of interactions.

Lynn Jones-Turpin was finally given a chance to respond in an interview on local Jacksonville news, and she defended herself beautifully: By not feeling the need to defend herself at all.

"It was just an overwhelming day. I can tell you that this entire city, this town, our team, our city, and our coach, we were overwhelmed. ... Coach came out, and he was just... emotions. He was totally immersed in his feelings. He had tears, he bit his lip."

She then had a chance to address her critics head on. "I don't take no offense to it. Listen, I've been in this business more than 25 years. I've interviewed from Barack Obama to Terry Bradshaw to Tiger Woods. He can say whatever he wants about fake news. I am a member of the Black Press," she said, adding that Black-run newspapers like hers have been around for longer than most modern media outlets. "Support the Black Press. You can call me fake all you want to, honey. I’ve been doing this a long time.”

Adding more context, journalist Phil Lewis writes, "The Black Press never agreed to conform to the mainstream media’s ideal of 'objectivity.' In fact, the first Black newspaper aimed to distinguish itself from other newspapers of its time. This is not to say the pursuit of truth isn’t important, but realizing that 'objectivity' has always reinforced white worldviews."

Jones-Turpin then joked that she was the new "grandma" or "auntie" of the team.

Especially after her earnest appearance and non-apologetic attitude for her approach, the support for Jones-Turpin has been far louder than the criticism.

In a way, coaches and the reporters who cover their teams are coworkers. They interact on a near daily basis, and while they butt heads frequently, they both do what they do out of a shared love for the sport and even for the city they work for.

The game is ultimately just a game, but the emotions and real-life stakes are very real.

When emotions are high, who's to say they're not allowed a brief moment of humanity and compassion for one another? There are far worse things happening in the world—that much is for certain.

washer, washing machine setting, how to use washing machine, laundry, laundry tips
Image courtesy of @granolabarpan/Instagram (with permission)

Stay-at-home mom Catrina shares shock at learning what the 'heavy' setting on her washer means.

Knocking out loads of laundry is a feeling of accomplishment that is unmatched. Depending on what needs to be washed, washing machines offer a variety of settings for the ideal clean. But even the most seasoned laundry pros can admit that they don't fully understand how to use them properly.

One stay-at-home mom shared her funny and relatable washing machine mistake. Catrina (@granolabarpan) got the shock of a lifetime when she realized that she had been using the "heavy" setting on her washer wrong for years.


"POV: today years old when it clicks why my blankets are sopping wet!!! I thought HEAVY meant heavy items being washed," she wrote in the video's overlay.

"Heavy on my machine means heavily soiled," she went on to add in the comments. "I thought it meant the stuff I was putting in the machine was heavy in weight/pounds."

Some moms are also realizing this for the first time. "Ok.. so I am 66 years old learning this???!! I always thought that heavy meant weight also😂," one person commented. Another person wrote, "Well I was today years old when I learned what heavy meant too…😂"

Others expressed confusion with so many settings, and reminiscing on simpler times. "Wait a minute. 😂. I think I need to for once go and read the manual because I have been wondering about all of the options," another user wrote. And another chimed in, "I want my old $250 3 options hot/warm/cold on/off washer back. It didn’t die it rusted out but took 25yrs to do it. I had 5 kids, plus my ex in-laws living with me."

Washing machine settings, explained

Struggling to understand the settings on your washing machine? You're not alone.

"Knowing these settings helps avoid common laundry mistakes, such as using the heavy cycle for heavy fabric weight instead of heavy soil, which can lead to ineffective cleaning or damage over time," Vanessa Ruiz, a professional organizer at Sparkly Maid San Antonio, tells Upworthy.

These are five washing machine settings and how they work:

1. Normal/Regular Cycle
Ruiz explains that this is your typical setting for day-to-day loads such as t-shirts, jeans, sheets, and underwear.

"These laundry loads are typically washed in warm water and the setting is rinsed with medium spin speeds through agitation in order to properly clean moderately soiled garments," she says. "This cycle is safe enough to wash a variety of different fabric content with a somewhat dirty load."

2. Delicate/Gentle Cycle
Ruiz notes that the delicate cycle is created specifically for delicate fabrics—lingerie, silk, lace, or embellished clothing—that may become damaged in a normal or regular wash.

"This cycle will use moderate spin speeds through gentle agitation to thoroughly dry clean and not damage clothes too easily," says Ruiz. "This is the preferred cycle when laundry items that require extra care or are labeled 'delicate' or 'hand wash' need to be washed."

3. Heavy Duty Cycle
The heavy duty cycle is specifically for heavily soiled items like work clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding.

"This setting uses higher water temperatures, longer wash times, and powerful agitation to remove stubborn dirt and grime. It’s perfect for those tough laundry jobs, but not recommended for delicate fabrics," explains Ruiz.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Bulky/Bedding Cycle
This cycle is often confused with "heavy."

"This cycle accommodates larger, heavier items that absorb a lot of water, such as comforters, pillows, and sleeping bags," says Ruiz. "It uses more water, medium spin speeds, and longer wash times to thoroughly clean bulky items without causing damage or imbalance."

5. Quick Wash
In a rush? This is the perfect setting to use.

"It is an accelerated wash cycle designed for small loads of lightly soiled clothes, usually lasting 15 to 40 minutes," says Ruiz. "It’s great for when you need clean clothes fast and can save energy compared to longer cycles."

This article originally appeared last year.

Culture

The 'honk if you…' bumper sticker sparks spirited debate about what honking really means

"I am almost 80 and have never heard the second interpretation. That is ridiculous."

honk bumper sticker, bumper sticker, driving, car honking, internet debate, car horn
Photo credit: Canva, aleksandrkondratov (left, cropped) / rofapic (text box) / Aflo Images from アフロ(Aflo) (right, cropped)

What does the honking mean in a "honk if you..." bumper sticker?

Novelty bumper stickers come in many varieties: proud displays of solidarity, cultural and political co-signs, and even unhinged silliness. But if you ask someone to name a famous example, there's a good chance they'll choose one that starts with the phrase "Honk if you…"

What exactly are these stickers trying to express, though? If one reads "Honk if you love dogs," does honking simply mean you also love dogs? Apparently there are two very different schools of thought, and dozens of people went online to debate how we should be interpreting these seemingly simple messages.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

Fandom or snark?

"So what I've heard is that those 'honk if you like ice cream🍦' license plates can be read two different ways," one user wrote on Reddit. "1. The idea is that this person is broadcasting that they like this particular thing a lot. 2. It's kind of a joke that they're going to ignore you honking at them, because you must just be responding to the bumper sticker, not saying they're a bad driver. It's meant to be kinda snarky."

The responses seem roughly split 50/50, with tons of people expressing their shock in both directions. Here are some of the top comments:

"Not sure if it's bulls--- or not but I have never until this moment considered option 2"

"I am almost 80 and have never heard the second interpretation. That is ridiculous."

"I always thought of it the first way, it was recently explained to me to be the second—I forget which show I was watching, maybe Gilmore Girls, and she was doing an experiment to honk at people who have 'honk if you like _____' stickers and the drivers would get mad at her for honking. So she was theorizing that people who have those types of bumper stickers don't actually want you to honk at them. Which I guess makes it option two in reality and that's the joke."

honking, car honking, car horn, honk debate, bumper sticker Someone honks a car horn. Photo credit: Canva, rattanakun

"Yeah I always took it the first way. 'I like ice cream and I want to get excited about it with other people who also like ice cream!' And I always thought it was stupid. Never even considered it the other way, which is also stupid."

"I've never considered it to be anything other than a person broadcasting their fandom."

"I always thought it was just a poll type thing until recently lol I learned of the #2 option. So bizarre"

"That's correct. It's meant to be interpreted the second way. It's a joke that if they are honking at you for driving poorly, you will ignore and assume they like pizza or whatever the sticker says."

"I think this is historical revisionism. I never heard definition #2 until a couple years ago. I've always taken it as definition #1."

"Hi. I have always seen the 2nd interpretation, because the first one makes no sense. Honking is not like making small talk in line at the grocery. Nobody wants every car to honk at each other to communicate their likes and dislikes."

"I've only seen the second explanation on social media in the last few months, which leads me to believe it's another TikTok originating thing along the lines of trying to redefine what '9 to 5' means."

@ellaellaw

Replying to @WILL (hozier’s version)

"It took me a really long time to grasp"

As for the TikTok mention, that user could be referring to a viral post from content creator Ella, who explained the second interpretation. "It took me a really long time to grasp," they said. "It's more like a 'ha, the joke's on you' from the car that you're honking at with that sticker on."

Thousands of other users weighed in with their reactions, including many instances of the popular response "WHAT?"

On a related note, lots of people have recently experienced a "today years old" learning moment related to a specific "honk" bumper sticker. In a Reddit thread, one user admitted, "I just realized the phrase 'honk if you're horny' is a pun about horns," and they weren't the only one making that realization. "I even hear this phrase a lot," someone added, "but never made the connection."

negativity, thumbs down, man in suit, judgement, no good, bad

A man giving a big thumbs down.

Everyone has that person in their life who casts everything in a negative light. You go out for a great meal, only to hear them complain about the service. They never highlight anyone's positive qualities, just their faults, and the only joy they seem to get comes from putting down the things you love.

It's like they are programmed to be antagonistic about absolutely everything. The problem is that, whether they're friends, family members, or co-workers, we're stuck dealing with people who drain our energy and have a knack for ruining a good time.


Fortunately for us, communication expert Jefferson Fisher recently shared a three-step reset method on YouTube for dealing with these impossible people. Fisher, who has become massively popular on social media, offers tips "to help people argue less and talk more."


How to deal with negative people

Here is Fisher's three-step reset method for dealing with negative energy:

1. Don't absorb the negativity

"Don't absorb what they said," Fisher says. "Instead, we're going to call it out. You're going to say it out loud. That means when you claim it, you control it. Meaning, you control your own reactions to it. That's the takeaway there."

Examples include:

"This feels tense."

"This feels heated."

"I'm sensing some negativity."

2. Call out the truth, not the tone

"When that happens to the negative energy, you're going to send it right back by having them repeat it," he says. "How? It's very similar to how I recommend handling insults. See, they can't repackage it in the same way again when you ask them to repeat it the same way. They can't say it the same way. Then they just look terrible."

@arnaldo.sifre

Master Negative Energy_ React to Truth, Not Tone Discover the simple but powerful technique Jefferson Fisher uses to stop negative energy without arguing or escalating. Instead of reacting to someone’s tone, you focus on the truth behind their words. The method? ➡️ Ask them to repeat what they said. Most passive-aggressive people cannot package their negativity the same way twice. When they repeat it, the tone weakens and the truth comes out. If it’s still negative, calmly ask again: “I need you to say that again—better.” This forces clarity, removes hostility, and shifts the power back to you. Stop reacting to tone. Start uncovering truth. Transform every interaction starting today. #fyp #CommunicationSkills #JeffersonFisher #ConfidenceTips #EmotionalIntelligence #StopNegativity #PassiveAggressive #BetterConversations #MindsetMatters #HealthyBoundaries #LifeSkills #SpeakUp #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipSkills #foryourpage

3. Protect your presence

"You cannot control another person's mood," he adds. "You cannot make somebody happier. That is their choice. … Big takeaway: you are making sure that your mind acknowledges the negative energy, but it neither matches it nor tries to attach to it. That's the difference. That's how you handle the negative energy."

Here's the whole video:

- YouTube youtu.be

Why are some people so negative?

A primary reason some people are overwhelmingly negative is that they are extremely fearful and hyperfocus on the negative aspects of life.

"In brief, almost all negativity has its roots in one of three deep-seated fears: the fear of being disrespected by others, the fear of not being loved by others, and the fear that 'bad things' are going to happen," Raj Raghunathan, PhD, writes in Psychology Today.

Humans also have a negativity bias, which means we're more primed to respond to negative than positive stimuli. That's why we remember insults far more often than praise and are more likely to recall negative moments than positive ones.

Why all the negativity? It's a survival technique. People who can detect danger and harmful situations are much more likely to survive than those who focus on the positive. Unfortunately, we sometimes have to make a conscious effort to see the good in the world.

Even though negative people can be a burden to be around, taking Fisher's advice and refusing to let them affect our presence can turn them into a reminder to reset and refocus on the positive in life.