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Wife prepares tongue-in-cheek slideshow for husband who ‘just got home from golfing’

“The hobby that is supposed to uplift you has made you tired and extremely grouchy.”

By

Evan Porter

golf, golfing, hobbies, male hobbies, women, marriage, marriage advice, communication, household inequity, free time, couples, relationships, love, humor

Photo Credit: Canva Photos

A woman made a helpful presentation for the Dos and Don'ts when her husband gets home from golf.

In a relationship, sometimes you wish there was a tactful, helpful, and non-confrontational way to tell your partner exactly what you need from them.

It turns out there is a way, and it’s been hiding right under our noses for decades: The humble Powerpoint presentation.

In viral skit, wife makes instructional presentation for golfing husband

The Dashleys—that is, husband and wife Dallin and Ashley—seem to really have their pulse on modern marriage. They’ve racked up nearly half a million followers on Instagram alone with extremely relatable and hilarious Reels that perfectly capture the universal frustrations people have with their partners.

Charmingly, it’s all done with care, love, and a lot of laughs that help soften the blow.

Recently, Ashley took some time to prepare a little slideshow for her husband on something that had been bugging her: how he came home from a round of golf with friends.

“So you got home from golfing… now what?” the opening slide read.

“What is this? he asks.

“This is to help you golf more, without me getting annoyed,” she responds.

Covered topics include coming home tired or cranky from a bad round. “At this point, the hobby that is supposed to uplift you, has made you tired and extremely grouchy,” she writes.

The next slide covers what Ashley would like to hear when her husband walks through the door, featuring, “I missed you guys!!” and “What are we going to do today??”

Finally, she asks him to devote a short monologue to memory, expressing his gratitude: “Thank you so much … is there anything that you need to do for yourself that I can facilitate now that I’m home? …My cup is full and boy did I ever have fun. Let’s make a plan and have the best day ever.”

The skit is tongue-in-cheek, but has commenters nodding along in recognition

All people in partnered relationships, even busy parents, deserve a little time to fill their own cup with hobbies they enjoy. That usually involves the other partner picking up the slack with the household and the kids; a trade-off many partners willingly make for one another.

But men who golf on the weekends, at three to five hours per round in particular, seems to be a source of great frustration for many women who are left holding the bag.

The Dashleys’ video racked up over a million views and tons of comments:

“Oh so this is a universal experience”

“Can we buy this PowerPoint presentation from you? I’d like to preset it to my husband”

“Golf has to be up there as the most selfish hobby that ever existed”

One commenter, in particular, did not hold back: “Mine actually does come home and go ‘what are we doing today????’ And nothing irks me more. Sir you’ve been gone from 6a-1p. Kids got up at 6:13a we did breakfast and I put in laundry, then walked/scootered to get me coffee and the girls got cake pops, then the nature center, then 2 different playgrounds, lunch, backyard crafts, and the 4 year old watered the inside plants so I had to clean, I’ve also done two loads of laundry and tidied so you don’t come back to a disaster because I’m considerate. You will be taking the kids out and leaving me alone now byeeeeee “

It’s no bias against golf: many women chimed in to note that other “husband hobbies” like cycling or hunting should require similar rules.

The Gender Equity Policy Institute describes the “free-time gender gap,” like this: “Across every group studied, men spend more time than women socializing, watching sports or playing video games, or doing similar activities to relax or have fun.  …The group with the least amount of free time is 35- to 44-year-old women. Men their age have a full hour per day more free time, and the free-time gender gap is near its peak at this time of life. “

Joke presentation gives serious ideas for how to communicate

A few observant commenters picked up on the fact that, while the video is a skit and the presentation isn’t meant to be taken literally, these are the kinds of conversations couples should be having with each other.

While being the clueless “golfing husband” who doesn’t do his share with the house and kids is a recipe for disaster, so is resentment without communication.

The Dashleys had a similar hit video about “What mom doesn’t want for mothers day.” It’s hilarious, but also full of helpful insights that couples should be sharing regularly.

One commenter summed the golf presentation up perfectly: “All jokes aside, this is an amazing way to ask your partner for what you want while supporting each other as individuals!”

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  • The ‘Michelangelo Effect’ is a phenomenon that can positively strengthen all relationships
    Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons – A portrait of Michelangelo and one of his artworks.
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    The ‘Michelangelo Effect’ is a phenomenon that can positively strengthen all relationships

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    It’s called the “Michelangelo Effect,” or the “Michelangelo Phenomenon.” In a clip from the Modern Wisdom podcast that has been making the rounds on social media, Chris Williamson explains the theory to his guest, Matthew McConaughey:

    “The Michelangelo Effect describes a situation in a relationship, friendship, or intimate partnership where each partner sees the best in the other—and tries to help bring that out. So the sum of the parts is greater than it is individually. I think in life, you want to be finding people who believe in you more than you believe in you. That holds you to higher standards.”

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    We sculpt one another

    In a research paper co-authored by Caryl E. Rusbult, Eli J. Finkel, and Madoka Kumashiro, the authors note that those closest to us can help “sculpt” us:

    “The Michelangelo model suggests that close partners sculpt one another’s selves, shaping one another’s skills and traits and promoting versus inhibiting one another’s goal pursuits. As a result of the manner in which partners perceive and behave toward one another, each person enjoys greater or lesser success at attaining his or her ideal-self goals. Affirmation of one another’s ideal-self goals yields diverse benefits, both personal and relational.”

    In a piece for Psychology Today, Sara Eckel also explains the phenomenon using the example of a couple, Wendy and James, who saw the best potential in one another and were open to seeing themselves as they were seen.

    “By acknowledging and accepting each other’s help, Wendy and James experienced what University of Pittsburgh psychologist Edward Orehek calls ‘mutual perceived instrumentality,’” Eckel wrote. “Orehek’s research, with Amanda Forest, indicates that when partners feel instrumental to each other, they are more satisfied with their relationship—though he admits that the word instrumental can sound off-putting.”

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    Essentially, it’s suggested that who we surround ourselves with can change the way we see ourselves. Eckel notes another author who explains how this can manifest in romantic relationships:

    “Aaron Ben-Ze’ev, a professor at the University of Haifa and the author of The Arc of Love: How Our Romantic Lives Change Over Time, says that our partner’s beliefs and behavior toward us can bring us closer to the person we would like to become—the ‘ideal self’—in a process called the Michelangelo Phenomenon.

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    On the Armani Talks podcast, the idea is summed up quite poetically: “The Michelangelo Phenomenon is a psychological principle that human beings are sculpted by those who we deem important.”

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    The one question Nietzsche believes everyone should ask themselves before getting married

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    Friedrich Nietzsche’s important marriage question

    Nietzche shared his wisdom with people wondering whether their partner is truly “the one.” He summed up his thoughts with this simple quote and question:

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    Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson shared why he strongly believes the advice is the secret for a happy marriage on a recent episode of the Pursuit of Wonder podcast.

    He shared, “My favorite quote that I’ve ever heard about marriage came from the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.”

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    “Looks come and go. Interests come and go. Finances come and go. Family problems come and go. But at the end of the day, can you spend the rest of your life in this conversation?” he says. “To me this is so profound because all the things that we care about when we’re young, when we meet somebody 99% of them will not matter anymore once we hit old age. Careers come and go. Money comes and goes. Families come and go. But if you can sustain that conversation through everything else, you can always have a great marriage.”

    Nietzsche’s additional thoughts on marriage

    Although Nietzsche never married, he wrote often about marriage and offered many theories on it meant to challenge and provoke thought. Nietzsche believed that friendship was paramount to a strong marriage as opposed to romance.

    He wrote in Human, All Too Human (Aphorism 378), “The best friend will probably acquire the best wife, because a good marriage is founded on the talent for friendship.”

    Nietzsche also wrote, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

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    “The level of maturity it takes to split amicably and still find and maintain a friendship is something a lot of people wouldn’t understand.”

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    “The level of maturity it takes to split amicably and still find and maintain a friendship is something a lot of people wouldn’t understand. All jokes aside, this is dope and a prime example that just because it ends romantically doesn’t mean it has to end platonically,” _shell_bell_22 wrote.

    “Love this! This gives me faith in humanity lol, I love the idea of two nice folks realizing it doesn’t work romantically and it not becoming a toxic situation,” beetsoda wrote.

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    Chris and Tenia’s relationship ended after four and a half years because, according to Chris, they “realized recently we weren’t really happy, just going with the routine instead. We are on two different journeys but have the most respect and love for each other,” she told Queerty.

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    Ultimately, it’s hard to see a relationship end, but Chris and Tenia seem to be handling it the best way possible. They used their breakup to show others that you can end a relationship and still treat each other with respect and a whole lot of humor.

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    Cartoonist Alfred Joseph Frueh wrote this love letter to his wife Giuliette Fanciulli on January 10, 1913. When folded, it transforms into a mini art gallery model. Frueh created it to share details about a specific gallery before her visit.
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    Frueh was already known for working drawings and creative elements into his personal correspondence as he contributed to the New York World and later The New Yorker, and also made children’s furniture, pop-up cards, and cutouts. But this letter, originally a private thing between two people, is now preserved in the Smithsonian’s Archives of American Art.

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    “If it feels weird, IT IS WEIRD.” People who got out of bad relationships share the one thing they noticed early and wish they hadn’t explained away.

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    The most common thread across thousands of these accounts isn’t that the red flags were invisible. It’s that they were visible and felt in real time, but were talked out of taking them seriously by the other person and by the relationship’s good moments, or by the internal voice that says you’re being too sensitive, too suspicious, too demanding.

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    Philosopher Leo Tolstoy was married nearly 50 years. His marriage advice still stands today.

    Tolstoy and his wife, Sophia, had 13 children.

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    Russian writer and philosopher Leo Tolstoy created many literary masterpieces during his lifetime, including Anna Karenina and War and Peace. Works of love and tragedy, Tolstoy’s real life mirrored the full spectrum of the human experience—including in his marriage.

    Tolstoy married his wife Sophia Bers (also ‘Sofia’ and ‘Sofya’, as well as ‘Sonya‘, which is the common Russian diminutive for Sofya), in 1862. He was 34, she was 18. Her father was a successful doctor in Moscow. Their marriage was famously tumultuous, but lasted 48 years.

    Tolstoy shared his insights into marriage, summing up his wisdom in a single sentence that holds true in modern day life:

    “What counts in making a happy marriage is not how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.”

    Despite their differences, Tolstoy and his wife put his advice into practice.

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    Tolstoy’s marriage to Sophia began like many: happy. Leah Bendavid-Val, author of Song Without Words: The Photographs and Diaries of Countess Sophia Tolstoy, told NPR that, “They were madly in love when they got married in 1862, and they shared everything, including their diaries. They used their diaries to talk to each other.”

    The couple had 13 children together, with eight making it into adulthood. Sofia was an asset to Tolstoy’s writing.

    “She copied his manuscripts and he listened to her opinions, which was very gratifying to her,” Bendavid-Val said.

    However, their relationship evolved into one described as “love-hate.” Bendavid-Val explained that their relationship was “very emotional, very passionate, and their love was full and passionate and deep and rich—and so was their hatred. And unfortunately, the hatred seems to have won out in the end.”

    Who was Sophia Tolstoy?

    According to The New York Times, Sophia served as “secretary, copy editor and financial manager” for her husband. In 1869, she copied the manuscript for War and Peace by hand eight times for him.

    A devoted wife, she struggled to meet Tolstoy’s demands and principles. She honestly journaled about her feelings, and many have been translated.

    “All the things that he preaches for the happiness of humanity only complicate life to the point where it becomes harder and harder for me to live,” she wrote in a diary in 1865, per The Guardian. “His vegetarian diet means the complication of preparing two dinners, which means twice the expense and twice the work. His sermons on love and goodness have made him indifferent to his family, and mean the intrusion of all kinds of riff-raff into our family life. And his (purely verbal) renunciation of worldly goods has made him endlessly critical and disapproving of others.”

    Toward the end of his life, an argument over Leo’s will resulted in him leaving their family home called Yasnaya Polyana. Although their relationship had its challenges, the couple did remain married until her husband’s death shortly after he left their home in 1910.

    “They needed each other. Neither of them could have lived as full and rich a life without the other,” Bendavid-Val said.

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    6 party ideas that actually make it easier to invite people over

    Yes, you need a sandwich party in your life.

    Kat Hong

    Here’s something nobody warns you about adulthood: staying connected to your friends requires actual effort. Everyone’s busy. Everyone’s tired. And between work, family obligations, and that never-ending to-do list that lives in your notes app, the idea of hosting a get-together can start to feel less like something you want to do and more like something you’d need to recover from.

    But what if hosting didn’t have to be such a production?

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    These six party ideas are built around a beautifully simple premise: community. The less you have to do alone, the more fun everyone has together. So, no five-course meals. No obsessive cleaning. Just good people, a loose theme, and, if all goes well, the kind of easy laughter that reminds you why you love these people in the first place.

    The Sandwich Party

    The genius of this party lies in its simplicity. You supply the bread, your wonderful guests bring everything else. Deli meats, cheeses, roasted vegetables, the pesto from Costco that you’re convinced wipes the floor with every other brand, and whatever else they feel like contributing. Maybe you throw in some plates and napkins, too. Then everyone gathers around the table and builds their perfect sandwich. It’s like Subway… but this time, you’re the sandwich artist. Everyone is.

    This genius idea comes from Michaela (@luckylamb420 on Twitter/X), who posted:

    Because who wouldn’t want to get involved in a sandwich party? It’s interactive, requires approximately zero cooking skills, and for some reason, making a delicious little sandwich with good company is just wholesome and sweet.

    Pro tip: Experiment with new flavor combinations. Interesting condiments work great here, like truffle mustard, spicy fig jam, or a good pesto (I hear Costco carries a great one…). Suddenly, your sandwich party has a proper spread. Tada!

    The Swap Party

    The one thing that unites us all? We have things sitting in random drawers or cabinets that we’ve never used. Never touched, really. A candle, still in the box. A skirt from a brand you no longer adore. A kitchen gadget (unused) that was purchased with the best of intentions. A swap party gives it all a second life.

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    Photo credit: Canva – We have things sitting in random drawers or cabinets that we’ve never used.

    Here’s how it works: Everyone brings a handful of high-quality unused (or, in the case of clothes, gently used) items, and you trade them for something new to you. Think of it like free shopping with your favorite humans and no evil parking structures involved.

    Pro tip: Curate the perfect shopping experience with a nice playlist bumping in the background (may I suggest one hour of Iranian jazz?), a delightful beverage option (perhaps aperol spritzes or chilled limeade?), and plenty of bags for your partygoers’ “purchases.” Also, whatever doesn’t get claimed at the end of the party? Box it up for a local charity that could put it to use.

    The Productivity Party

    This one sounds like it shouldn’t work, but it does. Imagine all the tasks you’ve been putting off: clearing out your inbox, paying a bill, and finally scheduling that routine dentist appointment. A productivity, or “forcing,” party gathers friends together with their laptops and their most dreaded to-do bullet points. As it turns out, working alongside other people makes the boring stuff more manageable. There’s even a name for it: body doubling. Psychologists say just being in the presence of others helps people focus and follow through.

    Pro tip: Ask guests to bring something achievable—not their tax returns from three years ago (no judgment)—and realistic, something they can actually finish in an evening.

    The PowerPoint Party

    If you haven’t been to a PowerPoint party yet, here’s your invitation to host one. Each guest prepares a short, completely self-chosen slideshow on a topic they care deeply about or find deeply hilarious. Here are some ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

    • “Why [INSERT FAMOUS SINGER HERE] is overrated
    • Similar-looking celebrities
    • Things you’ve learned from watching TikTok videos
    • What I would do if there were no consequences for 24 hours
    • How everyone’s exes would fare in a zombie apocalypse

    The result? You’ll get someone earnestly arguing that a specific cartoon character is underrated, and someone else presenting a very detailed case for why their coffee order is objectively correct. It’s funny, it’s revealing, and it brings out sides of people you don’t always see.

    Pro tip: The weirder the topic, the better the night. Encourage guests to go specific and strange.

    The Candy Salad Party

    Every so often, you need a party with exactly zero agenda other than joy…and maybe a sugar rush. That’s where the candy salad party comes into play. Ask each guest to bring a bag of candy. Dump it all into one big bowl. Eat it. That’s it. The mix of sweet, sour, fruity, and chocolatey is weirdly satisfying, and there’s something about the whole thing that just loosens people up immediately. And it’s a fun excuse to hang out.

    Pro tip: Speaking of chocolate…fruity and sour candies tend to play better in the mix than chocolate. Think gummies, Sour Patch, mini Starburst. Chopped up SweeTarts Ropes… Though honestly, there are no rules.

    The Potato Party

    Some ideas are great precisely because they’re a little ridiculous. The potato party is spudtastic; a full commitment to a theme. Guests each bring a potato dish—fries, twice-baked, mashed, latkes, whatever speaks to them—and if anyone wants to show up in a potato-inspired costume, go ahead! You encourage it. Throw in a round of potato trivia if the mood strikes. It’s the kind of night you’ll reference for years: “Remember the potato party?”

    party, ideas, community, connection, simple
    Photo credit: Reddit – Thanks for the potato idea, Reddit!

    Pro tip: Learn from a famous Bad Bunny song and lean all the way in on the décor. Take pictures. Lots of them.

    Connection, that’s what we’re after

    At the end of the day, these party ideas share something in common: they shift the weight of hosting from one person onto everyone, which means you actually get to enjoy your own party. Your friends leave having contributed something, made something, swapped something, or, at the very least, eaten a truly chaotic bowl of candy together.

    That’s connection, baby. And it turns out you don’t need a perfect house or a spotless kitchen to make it happen. You just need to send the text.

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  • Woman makes boyfriend sign ‘Performance Improvement Plan’ after he forgot her birthday
    Photo credit: Canva – A man and woman sadly celebrate a birthday
    ,

    Woman makes boyfriend sign ‘Performance Improvement Plan’ after he forgot her birthday

    Sometimes we just need that extra push.

    Cecily Knobler

    It happens to the best of us. Sometimes we mark down important dates in our calendars only to completely space out and oops, the day has come and gone. That’s, seemingly, exactly what happened to Redditor Sure_Count_3890, a 31-year-old male who accidentally forgot his girlfriend’s birthday.

    On a Reddit post entitled “Forgot my GF’s birthday and she wanted me to sign this,” he shares what looks like a performance improvement plan, not unlike one someone might get at a job review.

    He further explains, “Obviously, I signed it but I feel weird about it. She (28F) hasn’t done something like this before and was kind of laughing, but when I asked if she was serious, she said she expected me to take it seriously. Note that we did have a make-up bday night already, I said sorry a lot, and I took her out for a movie and really nice dinner. She told me to post it bc she ‘knows people will back her up.’” And wow, did they ever!

    Reddit, Performance Improvement Plan, relationships, birthdays
    Performance Improvement Plan for boyfriend, Photo Credit: Sure_Count_3890

    The contract

    At the top of the “contract,” it reads, “Performance Improvement Plan,” with the department listed as “Romance and Affection.” Michael (last name redacted) has the position of “boyfriend,” with Katherine as his “manager.”

    The contract is pretty cut and dry. She includes a “target area,” wherein she describes the issue. “A failure to deploy date-keeping, foresight, and thoughtfulness leading to forgetting to plan, provide gifts for, and summarily plan my birthday.”

    birthday, cake, celebration
    Birthday cake, Photo Credit: Canva

    She then helpfully lays out the “employee standard.” “The employee is expected to plan events, gifts, and curate a minimum of a 1-day-long experience to facilitate celebration of their partner’s annual trip around the sun.”

    The good news is she has a plan. In her idea for “Improvement Actions,” she suggests that Michael keep a record. “Employee will agree to keep redundant, numerous, and multifaceted planning tools; no reminders will be forthcoming.”

    And finally, she offers a “Training and Support plan,” should Michael need assistance. “Employee has been provided with a calendar and sticky notes.”

    Reddit weighs in

    The Reddit comments did not disappoint. At over 34,000 upvotes, nearly 7,000 people weighed in with their thoughts. One seemed to believe that the performance review itself was in good fun, but the importance behind it was dead serious. “Sounds like she was joking about the document but said she was serious about remembering your girlfriend’s damn birthday. Remember your damn girlfriend’s birthday.”

    And though quite a few were slightly tough on the lad, they noted that his girlfriend’s ability to be clear with her feelings, but in a fun, lighthearted way, was a wonderful reflection on her character. “Forgetting your partner’s birthday is a huge f#$-up at a fundamental level of a relationship. Making sure that never happens again is not a joke. The pretend ‘PIP’ and her laughing while giving it is her effort to find a way to tell him it matters, but break up the tension a bit. That’s part of the ‘joke’.”

    Another Redditor simply raved about her. “Honestly, I think the whole situation is absolutely fantastic on her part. She’s giving an incredibly hurtful situation some levity to show him that she’s upset, but not furious at him, and is willing to give him a chance to make it up to her by being more thoughtful in the future. All while being hilarious.”

    A learning experience

    As for the OP, this comment advises them to learn from the unfortunate situation: “OP, YTA, but only because you missed her birthday in the first place. Take the L here and actually remember her birthday next time. In fact, most of what’s in this PIP is actually good advice for planning an important long-term date.”

    And this commenter could totally relate to the situation: “In these days of constant phones-in-our-hands and electronic calendars, it’s not that hard to set up recurring reminders in your phone.

    After my first Christmas with my boyfriend passed and he didn’t buy me anything (he’s not a gift giver, but neither am I, so no major judgment), I put a reminder in his phone for two weeks before Christmas to remember to buy his girlfriend something for Christmas. 10 years later, the ‘buy your girlfriend something for Christmas’ reminder still pops up every year, and we both have a good laugh about it because I’m his wife now. He remembers, though.”

    Keep Reading →
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