What does a panic attack feel like? Kevin Love's vivid retelling nails it.

Just minutes into a Cleveland Cavaliers' game against the Atlanta Hawks, Cavs star Kevin Love knew something was wrong.

He was out of breath but struggled his way through the first half of the Nov. 5, 2017, game anyway. Moments into the third quarter, it hit him. Hard. For the first time in his life, he was having a panic attack. In an essay for The Players Tribune, Love described the experience:

"I felt my heart racing faster than usual. Then I was having trouble catching my breath. It’s hard to describe, but everything was spinning, like my brain was trying to climb out of my head. The air felt thick and heavy. My mouth was like chalk. ... I was just hoping my heart would stop racing. It was like my body was trying to say to me, 'You’re about to die.' I ended up on the floor in the training room, lying on my back, trying to get enough air to breathe."

The essay is a beautiful, honest look at mental health stigma.

Love described the panic attack "as real as a broken hand or a sprained ankle." He went to the hospital that night, thinking that something was wrong with him, but every test came back totally clear. That's part of what makes panic attacks so scary: The physical symptoms are there, and they are very real. While it's easy to dismiss a panic attack as being all in your head, it's a whole different story while you're having it.


"If you're suffering silently like I was, then you know how it can feel like nobody really gets it," Love wrote. Stigma is what causes people to suffer in silence, as he said, and points to how it hits men especially hard.

Love #0 and teammate LeBron James #23 pause during a January 2017 game against the Phoenix Suns. Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images.

"People don't talk about mental health enough," he wrote. "And men and boys are probably the farthest behind."

"Growing up, you figure out really quickly how a boy is supposed to act. You learn what it takes to 'be a man.' It’s like a playbook: Be strong. Don’t talk about your feelings. Get through it on your own. So for 29 years of my life, I followed that playbook. And look, I’m probably not telling you anything new here. These values about men and toughness are so ordinary that they’re everywhere … and invisible at the same time, surrounding us like air or water. They’re a lot like depression or anxiety in that way."

Overcoming the lessons of that "playbook" could save lives.

Tens of millions of people experience panic attacks and associated anxiety disorders each year. More than half won't seek treatment.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the country, affecting 40 million adults in the United States each year. Despite the fact that treatment is relatively simple and extremely effective, more than 60% of people with an anxiety disorder won't get help. There are many barriers to mental health treatment, with mental health literacy and stigma both serving to dissuade people from seeking treatment.

Love during the 2017 NBA Eastern Conference Finals. Photo by Elsa/Getty Images.

Love's essay addresses both issues. His detailed description of a panic attack might help others recognize a problem in their own lives and to not see it as a sign of weakness. He didn't want to "seem weird or different," so he kept to himself for a while. Now he's using his platform to raise awareness.

"Everyone is going through something that we can’t see," he wrote, sharing a lesson that can be applied to countless issues. It's a call for empathy, for understanding, and of course, for self-care and good health.

Images courtesy of John Scully, Walden University, Ingrid Scully
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Since March of 2020, over 29 million Americans have been diagnosed with COVID-19, according to the CDC. Over 540,000 have died in the United States as this unprecedented pandemic has swept the globe. And yet, by the end of 2020, it looked like science was winning: vaccines had been developed.

In celebration of the power of science we spoke to three people: an individual, a medical provider, and a vaccine scientist about how vaccines have impacted them throughout their lives. Here are their answers:

John Scully, 79, resident of Florida

Photo courtesy of John Scully

When John Scully was born, America was in the midst of an epidemic: tens of thousands of children in the United States were falling ill with paralytic poliomyelitis — otherwise known as polio, a disease that attacks the central nervous system and often leaves its victims partially or fully paralyzed.

"As kids, we were all afraid of getting polio," he says, "because if you got polio, you could end up in the dreaded iron lung and we were all terrified of those." Iron lungs were respirators that enclosed most of a person's body; people with severe cases often would end up in these respirators as they fought for their lives.

John remembers going to see matinee showings of cowboy movies on Saturdays and, before the movie, shorts would run. "Usually they showed the news," he says, "but I just remember seeing this one clip warning us about polio and it just showed all these kids in iron lungs." If kids survived the iron lung, they'd often come back to school on crutches, in leg braces, or in wheelchairs.

"We all tried to be really careful in the summer — or, as we called it back then, 'polio season,''" John says. This was because every year around Memorial Day, major outbreaks would begin to emerge and they'd spike sometime around August. People weren't really sure how the disease spread at the time, but many believed it traveled through the water. There was no cure — and every child was susceptible to getting sick with it.

"We couldn't swim in hot weather," he remembers, "and the municipal outdoor pool would close down in August."

Then, in 1954 clinical trials began for Dr. Jonas Salk's vaccine against polio and within a year, his vaccine was announced safe. "I got that vaccine at school," John says. Within two years, U.S. polio cases had dropped 85-95 percent — even before a second vaccine was developed by Dr. Albert Sabin in the 1960s. "I remember how much better things got after the vaccines came out. They changed everything," John says.

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Images courtesy of John Scully, Walden University, Ingrid Scully
True

Since March of 2020, over 29 million Americans have been diagnosed with COVID-19, according to the CDC. Over 540,000 have died in the United States as this unprecedented pandemic has swept the globe. And yet, by the end of 2020, it looked like science was winning: vaccines had been developed.

In celebration of the power of science we spoke to three people: an individual, a medical provider, and a vaccine scientist about how vaccines have impacted them throughout their lives. Here are their answers:

John Scully, 79, resident of Florida

Photo courtesy of John Scully

When John Scully was born, America was in the midst of an epidemic: tens of thousands of children in the United States were falling ill with paralytic poliomyelitis — otherwise known as polio, a disease that attacks the central nervous system and often leaves its victims partially or fully paralyzed.

"As kids, we were all afraid of getting polio," he says, "because if you got polio, you could end up in the dreaded iron lung and we were all terrified of those." Iron lungs were respirators that enclosed most of a person's body; people with severe cases often would end up in these respirators as they fought for their lives.

John remembers going to see matinee showings of cowboy movies on Saturdays and, before the movie, shorts would run. "Usually they showed the news," he says, "but I just remember seeing this one clip warning us about polio and it just showed all these kids in iron lungs." If kids survived the iron lung, they'd often come back to school on crutches, in leg braces, or in wheelchairs.

"We all tried to be really careful in the summer — or, as we called it back then, 'polio season,''" John says. This was because every year around Memorial Day, major outbreaks would begin to emerge and they'd spike sometime around August. People weren't really sure how the disease spread at the time, but many believed it traveled through the water. There was no cure — and every child was susceptible to getting sick with it.

"We couldn't swim in hot weather," he remembers, "and the municipal outdoor pool would close down in August."

Then, in 1954 clinical trials began for Dr. Jonas Salk's vaccine against polio and within a year, his vaccine was announced safe. "I got that vaccine at school," John says. Within two years, U.S. polio cases had dropped 85-95 percent — even before a second vaccine was developed by Dr. Albert Sabin in the 1960s. "I remember how much better things got after the vaccines came out. They changed everything," John says.

Keep Reading Show less