'Every single baby step toward positive body image and attitude should be celebrated.'
Posting these real photos of myself is one of the scariest things I've ever done.
<h2>But I'm doing it anyway, and here's why.</h2><p><strong>I'd love to be one of those people who doesn't care about what others say about me.</strong></p><p>But when you're already insecure to begin with, having those insecurities mocked is a little bit difficult to overcome. I've been called "ugly," "fat," and "gross" many times over the years, both online and in "real life." </p><p>If you keep hearing these things often enough, you have to make quite a big effort to stop believing them; only then can you still feel beautiful. </p><h2>Today, I feel beautiful.</h2><p><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUwODk3Mi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwNzIwNTc0M30.7CM6lrAFr5fk7wYnCJSBtqFEe8JPKmYacZ-RKL0_CmA/img.jpg?width=980" id="d4d0b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a5addecde7419ae0879c3236609d1a14" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p><p class="image-caption">I used to hear: Ugly. Fat. Gross. Stop Eating. Kill Yourself.</p><h2>But it took some time to get here.</h2><p>When I was little, I was skinny — the kind of skinny that caused people to jokingly ask my mom why she wasn't feeding me. Then, one New Year's Eve, I got a very bad case of food poisoning, which lead to my hospitalization.</p><p>The hormone they used to kick start my liver (which had failed) caused weight gain, so much so that a few months after leaving the hospital, I weighed almost twice as much as before.</p><h2>I started feeling insecure about my body when I was in primary school.</h2><p> Some people say small kids are angels, but I beg to differ. No one can be quite as cruel as a kid. I was bullied for my weight, for my teeth, for my style. At that age, it was very hard not to listen.</p><p>Even when I was a child, I always loved browsing through my mom's glossy magazines. They were a safe place for me for a long time, especially when I was being bullied.</p><p>However, no matter how many pages I flipped, <strong>I never saw anyone who looked like me. </strong>My body type was only given as a negative example, as something you had to get rid of, as something that was mocked by society. The "juiciest" news in tabloids, besides sex scandals, came when a celebrity gained weight. </p><h2>As a developing teenager influenced by what society defined as a model and ideal body for women, I became obsessed with my weight.</h2><p>There were several years during which I felt worthless, unlovable, and ugly because I thought the only thing that mattered was being skinny. At one point, it got so bad that whenever I entered a room, I would first analyze everyone to see if I was the heaviest in the room. </p><p><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUwODk3My9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMTU1ODE0NH0.G2kQTI9mXRreqCQCs3XJ4xqn2ahYccC9l3JThWLQfoU/img.jpg?width=980" id="cca26" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4b5cc4f3f1e542e042be4663d9fd9f74" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p><p>Even now, it's very hard for me to lose weight. That's why my biggest fear for years, since I've been <a href="http://www.wingsforliberty.com/" target="_blank">blogging</a>, was that people would see what I really looked like and judge me.</p><p>It's easy to hide a little extra weight with the right clothes, the right angles, and Photoshop. We've never edited anything excessively on my blog, Wings for Liberty. <strong>B</strong><strong>ut from today on, I don't want to liquify anything at all, not even a little bit.</strong></p><p><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUwODk3NC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTg3MTc1OX0.i4CWV9fgfgbc3m2-PMsTKRmFCB_KvFPLoLgeSv-jRy4/img.jpg?width=980" id="6bcbd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1ea1af00d9ae2f3a656b033962b49ec5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"><br></p><h2>Why am I sharing these photos of myself? </h2><p><strong>Because I want curvy teenagers like me to be able to see girls like themselves, all prettied up in fancy clothes and photos.</strong></p><p>I want them to feel proud of their bodies. Some days it's hard to not listen to the mean voices, but if you don't learn love yourself, who will? </p><p><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUwODk3NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTQ4MjMzNn0.TGQPc1Ffy6orUts33XlHvbNh-ahCGpWJ0RNEvX8Lmrw/img.jpg?width=980" id="78d1b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9cf996bf0585b11bfad84136c417b419" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p><h2>It's not going to happen overnight. Dark thoughts tend to linger much longer than the good ones.</h2><p><strong>But every single baby step toward positive body image and attitude should be celebrated. </strong>Your beauty and value are represented by so much more than your body.</p><p><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUwODk3Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MzM3MTY2NH0.L3rPb2lArh8m8HakDw-bAIoinwh3LHZMtdHHxNGAE9A/img.jpg?width=980" id="dfbe8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="281a2b9a5268b7ed3c2c1167884ed164" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p><p class="image-caption">Now I see: Honest. Beautiful. Brave. Proud. Happy.</p><p>By posting these photos of myself, I'm facing my biggest fear so that I can kill, once and for all, my biggest insecurity. I am honest and unedited in these photos, both in my body and thoughts.</p><p><strong>Most importantly, I'm proud of how I look.</strong></p>
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