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Two strangers improvise incredible dance to music they didn't know would even be playing

It's unbelievably good!

improv dance; rose city swing; west coast swing; dancing with strangers; viral dance videos
Photo credit: Canva

Strangers improvise incredible dance to music they didn't know

Improving anything isn't always easy and can sometimes be hilarious, which is why improv shows are so popular. Usually when someone is improvising dance moves, there's not a partner involved and if there is, they're generally not trained in dance. Limbs are jerking or smoothly flowing to the beat while feet and hips do their best to make coordinated motions.

But Rose City Swing dance studio, which specializes in West Coast Swing, has gone viral several times for their improvised dances. What they do is take two random dancers and pair them up, while the dancers are on the floor music starts playing. The dancers have no idea what song will be played and must come up with dance moves on the spot that coordinate with their partner.

It sounds nearly impossible but one duo that got paired together make it look easy. They dance so intuitively with each other that their video has gone viral multiple times on its own.

The video first appeared on social media in December 2023 where it had over 2.2 million views. It was posted again garnering millions more views before being posted on the Rose City Swing Instagram page where it grabbed a massive 3.6 million likes. Needless to say people love this random pairing's dance chemistry.

Watch it now:

The dancers in the video are PJ Turner and Tashina Beckmann and they flawlessly devoured this challenge. People in the comments can't get enough of the pair.

"Every time this pops up on my feed I watch it like 12x in a row," one person writes.

"They're dressed so unsuspecting and then bust out the SICKEST MOVES," another says.

"Every time I see this, across my feed, I have to watch it again. And every time I watch it, I feel the same Joy I did the first time. Smiling throughout," a commenter gushes.

"I’ve watched this so many times. This is how dance is supposed to be: fun. They have such an incredible ease. I want to take a class," someone else writes.

The dance studio is in Portland, Oregon if you're wanting to give it a try but there are no promises you'll be this smooth with an impromptu song, dance and partner. Totally worth a shot if you're local, if nothing else you'll have a blast trying.


This article originally appeared on 5.14.24


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5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

When people decide to go “all in,” something special usually happens as a result, and we’re here to show you how. This week, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in” across the Internet—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Follow along and feel inspired.

Hamilton superfans 

@itz.unique POV: You seen Hamilton the first night in theaters #hamiltonmusical #fyp #relatable #hamilton ♬ original sound - Uniii 😜

You already know we love a good Hamilton reenactment. This past weekend, though, Hamilton fans took their love for the musical to a whole other level. As theatres released the filmed stage production in honor of the musical’s tenth anniversary on Broadway, theatre kids everywhere showed up in costume and belted out every single word (it’s okay to sing in the theatre this time, by the way! Hamilton creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda totally said we could). Some theatres sang along quietly, some chimed in loudly at the emotional parts, and some theatres truly went all in, staging elaborate reproductions of the scenes in the aisles, in time with the music. A bunch of theatre kids totally nerding out together, having fun, and celebrating good art? We love to see it.

Everyone's love of Pumpkin Spice Lattes

@deangelodbyrd It’s hereeee 😂🍂 #pumpkinspicelatte #fall2025 #funnyvideo #silly #funnydance @Starbucks ♬ original sound - DeAngelo

You know it's fall when you start seeing those plastic cups everywhere. That's right—it's Pumpkin Spice Latte season. Everyone is drinking them. Everyone is posting about them. Everyone is figuring out the perfect PSL pairing, whether that's pumpkin spice matcha lattes or just drinking a PSL curled up on the couch watching some spooky movies. (How about all of the above?)

Here's our recommendation: Pumpkin spice lattes pair perfectly with All In snack bars—specifically the Madagascar Vanilla + Almond option. It's got honey, it's got pumpkin seeds, and it's even got tons of fiber so you're getting some nutrition along with all the deliciousness. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This rendition of the Happy Birthday song

@kamoramakaylee Happy 84th birthday to our dad #tbt ♬ original sound - Kamora

There’s singing the Happy Birthday song, and then there’s singing the Happy Birthday song. This group of sisters did the latter. For their father’s birthday, they presented him with a cake (aww) and then launched into an embellished musical production of the last two lines that would put Whitney Houston to shame. The girls truly went all in, but perhaps the best part of this entire video is their dad,sitting wide-eyed at the table and gritting his teeth until the performance is over. (“He’s fine,” someone said in the comments section. “He lost his hearing ten birthdays ago.”)

Llama costumes

@kristeninmn Some of the costumes from the Minnesota State Fair’s 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest! #minnesotastatefair #mnstatefair #exploremn #onlyinmn #stpaulminnesota ♬ Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Every year at the Minnesota State Fair, the 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest steals the show. In it, participants dress their llamas in wildly imaginative costumes—everything from a sea anemone to a bucket of popcorn to Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story—and transform the livestock barn into a whimsical runway. Every glittery cape, hand-painted prop, or themed outfit is a testament to their creativity, their time and effort, and most importantly their love for animals. All of it is on full display and it’s seriously impressive work. You can tell when it comes to their animals (and creativity), Minnesotans don’t hold back.

This dog who's totally faking it. 

@binkythechichi2

The king of drama

♬ original sound - cass

Okay, you have to give this guy some respect—he really doesn’t want his owner to go to work and he’s found an absolutely genius way of showing it. As soon as her alarm goes off in the morning, TikTok creator Cassidy Butler shared that her chihuahua Binky runs to the front door and actually starts faking injuries to get her to stay home with him (and sometimes, she admits, it works). Binky is absolutely committed, holding up his paw as though it were injured, plus shivering and even squinting one eye to show just how injured he is. He’s almost perfectly convincing—until Cassidy offers to take him outside to play and he momentarily breaks character. Oops! Still, we respect his dedication to the craft.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

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A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here's why.

Old footage from the '50s shows men, women, and children wearing hats everywhere they go.

via Warmbru Curiosity/YouTube

When did everyone stop wearing hats?

It was everywhere. Men, women, and even children did it every time they left the house. If you see old newsreel footage of men in the office or on commuter trains from the advent of the motion picture camera to the early ‘60s, nearly everyone is wearing a hat. Hats were just as common for women in that era. For a woman to go out without a hat in the first half of the 20th century was akin to going out without clothes.

The funny thing is that everyone’s headgear is so similar in the old-timey footage that it makes previous generations look like big-time conformists. Then, in the early ‘60s, everything changed, and men and women started to go out in public with their hair exposed. Why did such a big aspect of fashion seem to change overnight?

Warmbru Curiosity investigated the question recently in a popular YouTube video. Warmbru’s channel is a lighthearted look at some of the more unusual people and events from our history and how they have influenced the world in which we live.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Why did people stop wearing hats?

Warmbru says fashion changed dramatically after World War II, when people in developed countries began to care less about expressing their social status. “This was especially true among the younger generation the rise of youth culture in the 1950s and 1960s emphasized rebellion against traditional norms, including formal dress codes,” the YouTuber says.

Mad Men, Don Draper, Jon Hamm, hats, mens fashion, men's hats, 1950s Don Draper from AMC's "Mad Men" Image via "Mad Men" AMC

Another big reason for the change in fashion was technology. Cars became the preferred mode of transportation for many after World War II and indoor environments became more hospitable. “People spent far less time exposed to the elements as people increasingly moved to urban areas and started using cars,” Warmbru says. “The practicality of wearing hats diminishes. Hats can be cumbersome in cars and on public transport, improvements in heating and air conditioning reduce the need for hats to provide warmth.”

Warmbru adds that President John F. Kennedy, elected in 1960, rarely wore a hat and his decision to go bareheaded became associated with modernity. Further, in 1963, the mop-topped Beatles proudly flaunted their hatless heads as they shook them while singing, “Wooooo.” Hat-wearing among women began to decline around the same time as the restrictive and complex headgear clashed with the burgeoning women’s liberation movement.

Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, hats, men, men's fashion, 1960's, 1950's John F. Kennedy with his family Image via Wikicommons

The decline in hat purchases meant that manufacturers closed and the headgear became harder to come by. This reduced availability further contributed to the decline in hat-wearing. As fewer people wore hats, there became a greater demand for high-quality hair products and services. “Why spend a fortune at the hairdressers or the barbers just to cover the end result with a hat?” Warmbru asks.

Ultimately, there were many reasons why people stopped wearing hats. It appears that it was a combination of technology, influential people such as Kennedy and The Beatles, and the overwhelming mood of change that swept most of the Western world in the 1960s. But if one thing is true about fashion, it goes in cycles. So, it seems that hats may be ready for their big comeback.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Levi Strauss Foundation

Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


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'Caramel' vs. 'Carmel'—the proper pronunciation may surprise you

Car-mel or car-a-mel?

Image via Canva/Henry Becerra

How to properly pronounce and use the words 'caramel' and 'carmel.'

Fall is the season of sweet and crisp caramel apples, and as the treat becomes popular again, so does the longstanding debate about how to pronounces the sweet treat's delicious coating. Is it carmel (car-mel) or caramel (car-a-mel)?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, "caramel" is "a usually firm to brittle, golden-brown to dark brown substance that has a sweet, nutty, buttery, or bitter flavor, is obtained by heating sugar at high temperature, and used especially as a coloring and flavoring agent."

"Carmel" is a proper noun that denotes a town or place. As Professor Paul Brians at Washington State University and author of Common Errors in English Usage explains, "Take Highway 1 south from Monterey to reach the charming seaside town of Carmel, of which Clint Eastwood was formerly mayor. Dissolve sugar in a little water and cook it down until the sugar turns brown to create caramel."

@mythical

Cara-mel or car-mel?

So how do you properly pronounce caramel? Whichever way you pronounce it is technically right. June Casagrande, author of The Joy of Syntax: A Simple Guide to All the Grammar You Know You Should Know, writes: "The pronunciation 'carmel,' with two syllables, is every bit as acceptable as the three-syllable pronunciation. In fact, the two-syllable option comes first in Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, which may indicate it’s more standard."

Different dialects across the United States have led to the difference in pronunciations in the United States. Back in 2013, Joshua Katz, then a doctoral student in linguistics at NC State University, created a map based on research from a Harvard Dialect Survey by Bert Vaux and Scott Golder that showed which regions pronounced caramel with three syllables or two syllables.

carmel, caramel, caramel pronunciation, how to say caramel, how to say carmel How people in the United States pronounce caramel.Image via Reddit/sauihdik

Regional preferences are clearly laid out. "Car-a-mel" was more commonly used along the East Coast and South, while "car-mel" dominated in the Midwest and West.

Many people online discussed the different ways they pronounce it in the Reddit thread r/words. "The letters are there for a reason," one commented. "There are three syllables. Pronounce them! :)"

caramel, caramel gif, caramel vs carmel, carmel or caramel, caramel sauce life will GIF Giphy

Others were passionate about the two-syllable caramel pronunciation. "Cahr-mel, but I’m also in the midwest. I’ve never heard a person say 'cah-rah-mel apples' or 'cah-rah-mel corn' but I have heard people say, when talking about them on their own, 'cah-rah-mels.' I admit I probably say it wrong and I don’t care, cah-rah-mel sounds stupid to me."

And some admitted to saying both, and being confused. "For me it's context dependent. CAHRmul sauce, but ice cream topped with CAR a mel. So, depends if it's in use as an adjective or a noun," one wrote. Another quipped, "I'm from the Midwest and use them both but it's context sensitive. Car-a-mels are candy, Carmel is sauce or flavoring. Why? I don't know, it just sounds right to me." Another shared, "But what about if you caramelize onions for cooking. 'Carmelized' sounds better to me than 'caramelized'. Googling seems to agree."

And one summarized the debate with a sweet story: "The debate on this is so relentless between my husband and me that it was literally included in our wedding vows. I say carmel, he says caramel," they wrote.

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30 musicians came out of nowhere on the streets of Paris and began performing 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

Truly the most insane and inspiring flashmob EVER.

@juliencohen_pinao/TikTok

Oh to have been there to witness it IRL.

Just when you think you’ve heard every amazing "Bohemian Rhapsody” cover imaginable—from standout AGT performances to spontaneous crowd sing-alongs to haka renditions—this one literally comes out of nowhere. And it’s every bit as exciting, magical, profound, and inspiring as the OG.

On the streets of Paris, window shutters open to reveal three women clad in white who begin to sing, “Is this the real life…” in a way that can only be described as heavily Disney-coded. A pianist appears seemingly out of nowhere. Then another singer from another window. And another. Then, a blonde man in a horse drawn carriage comes down and belts out “Mama, just killed a man…” so good you just know it made Freddie Mercury smile wherever he is now.

Oh, and did we mention the 11-year-old who absolutely shreds a guitar solo??

These are just some of the 30, yes, 30 musicians and singers that came to deliver a truly epic flash mob performance of Queen’s signature rock ballad. Really, this was something between a flash mob and immersive theatre. Wow.

To say the clip has gone mega-viral would be an understatement. In under 24 hours, the clip has received over 30 million views across TikTok and Instagram. Of course, most viewers expressed more than a little FOMO.

“Could you imagine seeing this? Like omg I’d be freaking out.”

“This is tremendous, and I am so envious of those who witnessed it in real life.”

“Flash mob of healing vibes 😍”

“This right here is what Queen WANTED.”

Perhaps it should come as no surprise that Julien Cohen, the pianist in the video and mastermind behind this epic flash mob, was able to pull off such a once-in-a-lifetime collaboration. After all, his entire social media is dedicated to outstanding duets with talented musicians…many of which have also gone viral. And, if someone invites you to come to Paris to be part of a “Bohemian Rhapsody” flash mob, are you really gonna say no?!

Among the star studded line up are Michael Spence, aka Mickey Castillo (lead singer) and Olly Pearson (second guitar), both of whom competed on Britain’s Got Talent. Fittingly, Castillo often got compared to the late, great Freddie Mercury by BGT judges. Pearson also played Queen’s "Don't Stop Me Now" while on the show.

Other performers include:

DDKN: A French pop group consisting of sisters, Stella, Nounée, and Anouche, known for angelic harmonies. They were the first three singers.

Sone & Coline Sicre: Made up the pop choir near the piano.

Michaël Koné: The opera singer who belted out “I’m just a poor boy” and gave those amazing "Galileos."

Martin Pennec: Came out of nowhere with those drums.

Axel Thomas & Paul Pasmanian: On the second guitar and bass guitar.

And then there's the operatic choir, who really help bring Cohen’s artistic vision come to life (and Mercury's, for that matter):

Eeva Matilda

August Chevalier

Michel El Ghoul

Emmanuelle Jakubek

Dounia El Baaj

Lisa Chaïb-Auriol

Alessandra Rizzello

Lou Thomas

Lejeune Céleste

Chuck Pariton

Nicolae Hategan

Olga Vojnovic

Sara Paone

Shadi

Moonsy

Tirso Ramirez

David Lefort

Romain Jurmande

Aside from being such an auditory delight, part of what makes “Bohemian Rhapsody” so incredibly compelling is how it brings people together with connecting threads of pure, raw emotion. This group handled both those elements so well, and the result is not only a celebration of one of Queen’s most beloved works, but of humanity as a whole—how good it feels to create with one another, and to physically witness art being made. Truly, this could not have come at a better time.

@juliencohen_piano The most INSANE Bohemian Rhapsody Flashmob you will ever see!! With 30 musicians and singers in the streets of Paris 😍 Lead singer: @Mickey Callisto Lead guitar: @GuitarOlly First 3 singers: @✨ DDKN ✨ Pop choir: @ddkn.off @Sone and @coline sicre Counter-tenor solo: @michaelkonesaki Second guitar: @Axel Thomas ♬ son original - Julien Cohen


Excuse me…off to go listen to this for the 20th time.

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British woman creates website to help at-risk Americans leave the U.S.

The site matches people to countries that best fit their needs.

Photo credit: Canva

British woman creates website to help at-risk Americans leave U.S.

In recent years, the number of American citizens leaving the U.S. has increased, especially over the past 12 months, as marginalized groups feel increasingly unsafe.

Charlotte Richards, a British woman who started a series called "Letters from America" on social media, has recently launched a website for those looking to flee the country.

To some, the word "flee" may seem extreme, but it seems clear from some of her letters that there are Americans who are living in fear for their safety.

Richards says that she wanted to do something to help people who wanted to find a way to exit the U.S to a country that would be more accepting of them.

child, passport, traveler A child carries a passport along with her suitcase. Photo credit: Canva

This led to her working with individuals across the globe from different races, sexual orientations, genders, and abilities to compile information on countries in which Americans would be welcomed.

The website is called "Help Me Leave" and is currently in its beta or "version 1" stage. It has an interactive map that users can click on, which will then auto-populate information about that country. Right now, the information is limited to safety, cost of living, health, and quality index, with a drop-down menu that will populate pathways to immigration.

"Five weeks ago, I asked if anyone would help me build a site that would help me build a platform that would help at-risk groups in the U.S. understand their exit pathways so they can get out, and amazing volunteers from all over the world stepped up," Richards says in the video launching the site. "We are now live with our alpha website. We have visa data for 14 countries, we've got information and how tos, getting your passport, preparing to leave. We have a support team who are going to help people figure out their exit routes."

To help LGBTQ individuals find a safe country, the website has both a rainbow flag sticker and a trans flag sticker in the corner of the countries that are accepting. Though, just because a country doesn't have the flag doesn't necessarily mean they're unsafe; some of the countries are still awaiting more research from the support team. The website also has information on how to seek asylum in the countries listed.

"There's an area called Visa Explorer where you can pick filters that match your situation to try and find a pathway that makes sense for you," she explains. "We've got 14 countries. We don't have country profile data other than the basics in there, yet."

There's also a private group on Discord to help marginalized groups find their community in the countries they're planning to move to, or the countries in which they recently moved.

People who viewed the video are moved by Richards' efforts, with others offering additional help. "If I can help with Mexico, let me know," one person writes. "I got out in 2020 and it's the best decision we've made as a family. Zero regrets!"

Another American immigrant says, "I’m an American in the UK and so appreciate what you’re doing! Have you considered creating a Spanish language version?"

US passport, world map In recent years, the number of American citizens leaving the U.S. has increased. Photo credit: Canva

Someone else admits to waiting for the release of the website: "Thank you so much, I have been following and waiting for this. I downloaded and getting the ducks in order."

"Thank you so so much! As a disabled trans man, I’m so scared of what may happen as things escalate. I just want to live in peace and dignity," another person writes.

traveler, suitcase A young woman carries her passport and suitcase. Photo credit: Canva

"You brought tears to my eyes this morning when you not only showed immense support for our at risk people, but to hear someone say that the US will lose and other countries will benefit from these amazing people…. I have no words," one person shares. "Thank you for this astounding effort. You have given this mom and my extraordinary family a really easy option for navigating potential new home locations. Thank you so very much!"

Another person reminds others that staying to fix things is also important for those who are able: "For those at risk, there's nothing wrong with leaving. For those who can stay, there's a lot of work to do."

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Millennials struggling to buy a home want 'out of touch' Boomer parents to get their reality

Some advice for Millennials dealing with parents who won't listen.

Images via Canva/Photodjo, Andy Dean Photography

Millennials are frustrated with their Boomers parents about real estate.

Millennials trying to buy homes in today's economy are up against a rock and a hard place. Unlike for their Boomer parents, the dream of buying a home continues to feel further away.

According to the National Association of Realtors (NAR), Millennials "continue to be fenced out of home ownership." The organization reported that in 2024, the average age of first time home ownership rose to 38 years old, up from 35 years-old just the year before. "First-time buyers face high home prices, high mortgage interest rates and limited inventory, making them a decade older with significantly higher incomes than previous generations of buyers," Jessica Lautz, NAR deputy chief economist and vice president of research, said in a November 2024 press release.

Millennials are airing their frustrations amongst each other in the Reddit thread r/Millennials, sharing their stories and experiences with their Boomer parents—with many calling Boomers "out of touch."

@thejennifink

The disconnect with reality is real but I can’t stop bringing it up. #housingmarket #zillow #realestate #boomers #millennials #millennialsoftiktok #home

One Millennial wrote, "This topic is like hitting a dead horse, but I just needed to rant. Back story, I work out at a gym with people who are our parents age, and of the boomer generation. I overheard them saying, 'we bought our first home for $65,000. I’m sure kids these days are only paying $125,000 for that same house'. When they said that, I burst out laughing. How are they so out of touch? It drives me nuts."

Another Millennial replied, "Willful ignorance. Takes four seconds to go on Zillow and find out that’s bullsh*t 😆."

And another shared, "I'm not kidding... when I showed my dad actual data on itemized COL inflation, he said that 'the data just says that but that doesn't mean it's real'.... This is a guy that I would normally consider smart and with it. When it comes to these kinds of topics of societal degradation, he can't accept it. He is willfully ignorant to things being worse now for me than they were for him at my age."

@mel_owens

& invent a time machine. #boomer #homeowner #housingmarket #homebuying #comedy

Others explained how they attempted to explain to their Boomer parents how expensive homes currently are. Another shared, "Last Christmas, the sibs and I collectively managed to remember all the addresses we had lived in in our childhoods and Zillowed all of them to show our parents. All are still standing. All were built in the 70s. All are rural or suburban/small towns. Parents were astounded at what these 50+ year houses are going for today, especially compared to what they paid for them 30-40 years ago."

Millennials added their conversations with parents who got defensive. One wrote, "I legit just had this same conversation! They say 'complain when it’s 14% interest' excuse me, your house was 60k and dad was making 40, don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining. That fancy 250k house is now like 600k…get a grip, average house is 438k."

Another shared, "My dad still gives me a hard time about renting, constantly tells me how I should invest in a house. I sat him down one day and opened up a mortgage calculator, showed him how with the current interest rates it just wasn't gonna happen- he seemed to get it. For a little bit anyways haha. I saw him last month and he told me again how rent is wasted money yadda yadda."

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How Millennials can have conducive home ownership talks with Boomer parents

Millennials can have healthy and productive conversations with their Boomer parents when discussions about buying a home become tense or uncomfortable, Aly Bullock, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Paired, tells Upworthy.

Here are three things Millennials can say to their parents during these tough talks:

Phrase #1: "I understand that we have different views on this, and that's okay with me."

Bullock explains, "This acknowledges that you understand their POV and you are still willing to stick with your own opinion. It is a very gentle way of setting a boundary and letting them know you are comfortable having different opinions."

Phrase #2: "I would love to hear you out, and my request is that in return you respect my right to make a personal decision even if it does not align with what you've shared."

"Even when their kids are grown, parents still love the chance to influence their children," says Bullock. "This phrase lets your parents know that you would love to hear their opinion, you welcome it, AND reminds them gently that you are grown and they should offer you similar respect."

Phrase #3: "This conversation seems to keep causing tension between us, and I'd rather focus on something we have in common right now. Can we set it aside for a bit?"

According to Bullock, "This acknowledges the tension without placing blame. It gives the adult child an opportunity to stop the conversation before it deteriorates further, while emphasizing the positive pieces of the relationship."

Finally, she notes that it may take placing boundaries around these conversations. "Remember that you don't have to tell your parents everything. Some things are better left unsaid," says Bullock. "The truth is that parents change as they age and may or may not be able to cope well with generational differences or unmet expectations. Try to have compassion for them as you decide which things to keep to yourself in order to protect your own mental health."

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