offensive words

This story was originally published on The Mighty.

I’m not here to criticize the United States Marine Corps on how they train new recruits.

They’ve been doing it for more than 200 years, so they must know what they’re doing.

Photo via iStock.

My intention instead is to give an account of how standing up for people with intellectual disabilities is possible, even to arguably the scariest individuals you can imagine.

Here’s what happened:

During a period of instruction on Marine Corps values, I answered a question that, while technically correct, wasn’t the answer my heavy (a Marine term for the drill instructor tasked with making life extremely difficult) was looking for.

"You must be a [r-word], Mitchell."

The look on my face must have revealed the disgust and disapproval I had for his choice of words. In boot camp, this is a big no-no. The drill instructor told me to stand back up and explain my inappropriate reaction. I yelled in my best recruit sound-off voice, "Sir, this recruit is offended by that word, sir."

There was about three seconds of stunned collective silence in our squad bay.

It felt more like five minutes, though. My drill instructor kicked over a footlocker, ran right up to my face wearing his signature Smokey the Bear hat, and began to use everything in the book to get at me.

When you’re in boot camp, the only thing you have is the fellow recruits in your platoon and your family who writes to you.

My brother, Chess, has Down syndrome. And throughout my life, I avoided taking a stand against people who made fun of those with intellectual disabilities.

But on this particular day, I couldn’t take it. I had to say something. I got chewed out as a result. A couple of days later, the senior drill instructor asked me about the incident, but no recourse was really taken.

I do remember during my last days of training introducing my drill instructor to my brother at family day.

Me and my brother. Photo via Jay Mitchell, used with permission.

Again, it’s not my intention to vilify the Marine Corps drill instructors.

Those men and women are a vital part of our nation, and it’s their job to prepare our next generation of Marines. Drill instructors are consummate professionals at all times. They’re trained not to discriminate against any recruits based on religion, ethnicity, country of origin, or race.

In my explanation to my senior drill instructor, I explained that no drill instructor would call a recruit the n-word, which is just as offensive to me.

Even though standing up against someone who uses the r-word can be frightening, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that the moment will be etched into that person’s memory.

I don’t know if my instructor ever used that word again. He probably has. My platoon saw me stand up for my brother. And they might laugh thinking about it, but the story sticks and they’re reminded that the r-word is offensive and wrong when they remember it.

So when you’re hurt or offended by someone using the r-word, don’t be afraid to let them know. If they defend their use of it, there’s not a lot you can do to help them.

But maybe if enough people keep letting them know why it’s wrong, they might change over time.