Dolphin parenting is a firm yet flexible parenting style.
People are choosing a number of different parenting styles to raise their kids today. From gentle parenting to FAFO parenting, there are seemingly endless options to choose from.
One parenting style that is geared to instill creativity and independence in kids is called "dolphin parenting." Coined by Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Shimi Kang, the term describes parents who have a more authoritative parenting style.
"Like the body of the dolphin, these parents are firm yet flexible," she writes in Psychology Today. "Dolphin parents have rules and expectations but also value creativity and independence. They are collaborative and use guiding and role modeling to raise their kids."
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Dolphin parents are "adaptable, community-minded and valuing play, a sense of social connection, and the daily tasks of downtime, routine, regular sleep, exercise," says Kang, the author of The Dolphin Parent: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Self-Motivated Kids.
She adds that this parenting style benefits kids long into their young adulthood. "When we parent that way, when we bring in that collaborative guiding, firm and flexible dolphin approach, we see young people with better physical/mental health, better self-motivation, better sense of creativity, innovation and problem solving," she says.
As a mother of three, Kang shares that she was raised by a "Dolphin Mom" and became one herself. "She had rules and expectations, including expecting us to do well in academics and be disciplined. But she also valued our autonomy, individual passions and independent choices," she explains in TIME.
According to Kang, there are six pillars of Dolphin Moms:
- Are balanced and collaborative
- Do not overschedule
- Do not over instruct
- Do not over protect
- Create a pod of support
- Adapt
There are two other styles of parenting that Kang has identified: tiger parenting (authoritarian parenting) and jellyfish parenting (permissive parenting). Dolphin parenting falls between these two.
Dolphin parenting's authoritative focus does not shut kids down, though. "With authoritative parenting, the doors of communications are open on either side, giving kids the space to make mistakes and express themselves in a respectful manner," Kang writes in Psychology Today.
A mother helps her daughter with the computer. Credit: August de Richelieu/Pexels
Kang cites research from the Harvard-based Grant Study of Adult Development to support dolphin parenting.
"It showed that the ability to adapt creatively and 'make lemonade out of lemons' was a key determinant of success," she explains in a post on her website. "In addition, individuals who displayed altruism and a sense of humor during conflict and stress were more likely to be in the top quarter of the 'happy-well' group, and those who scored highest on measurements of 'warm relationships' in childhood earned an average of $141,000 a year more at their peak salaries (usually between ages 55 and 60) than those who scored lowest."
Kang also notes that "other important predictors of being 'happy-well' were important lifestyle factors such as not smoking, little use of alcohol, regular exercise, and maintenance of normal weight."
Simply put, dolphin parenting is another parenting style that just might be the best for raising kids to be healthy, happy, and independent.